Hey again, Sorry this took me Sooo long. The thing is, I had a hiatus from Even Stevens, and yes, it did last for almost a year. Thankies to all my reviewers, and I swear, It won't happen again!

Oh well, back to school soon.

So here you are, one chapter two.

This chappie is Rens POV, she's interesting to write, I'll tell you that. I find I relate much better to Tawny.

Disclaimer: Like I said, Don't own, wish I did.

Enjoy!

Where Is Your Heart:

Well today, I figured out two things. Number one: no one at this absolute nutcase of a school has any idea of who I am, and number two: My life is completely out of control.

What happened was this: I came into homeroom today while everyone in the class seemed to be talking about Larry Beale's party. Now I have absolutely no intention of going, but did they really have tostop talking when I came into the room. Honestly, sometimes I feel like I'm the mother of the class, responsible Ren, as usual.

" So what's up guys?" I asked, wandering over to the group in the middle of the room. They all turned, pretending like they hadn't seen me or something.They always do. 'Ooh, here comes Ren, the girl withno life. Teachers pet might tattle and ruin our fun' It's always the same.

This time was no different.

"Oh, hey Ren". Monique said. " We were just talking about the party. I...didn't think you would really be interested."

I looked at her blankly. "Why would I not be interested?" I asked slowly, looking at her with raised eyebrows.

They then proceeded to tell me, and this is what I derived from the conversation.

I always seem so 'serious about other things'. I am the only girl in my eleventh grade homeroom class to still be a virgin. I am also the only one without a life. I don't have a boyfriend, I don't seem to want one, and god forbid, I'm different. The dreaded 'D' word.

Why is it my fault if I don't want to sleep around? They don't know anything about me. If only they could see who I really am...they wouldn't think I was so perfect. If they knew the truth...

But they don't. No one does, and there's no one I can tell. No one who can understand. It's not like I'm being pathetic, but I actually am waiting for the right person. I know what they'd all say, there is no 'right person'. But for me there is. And she's perfect,

Yes, that's right, she. Now you see the dilemma. Ren Stevens, into girls, who would believe it? No, neither would I until recently. Until last month, actually.

God...what can I say about Tawny...

She's amazing, really. She was always just Louis' little friend, a kid who him and Twitty hung around. But I realise now how different she is, how wonderful...

I'm mooning. I can't believe it, Ren Stevens doesn't do that!

But then again, who is Ren Stevens? I sure don't know. May be I know who I used to be, the responsible, clued in, calm, collected teachers pet who always had herself and everyone else figured out. She was practically perfect in every way.

I'm not like that anymore, I'm not perfect. I'm confused and disorientated. At least I am on the inside, on the outside, I'm the same old Ren, captain of almost every club at Lawrence High School, straight A student and a definite candidate for head of the Student Council.

I know that I can't let people see that I'm different, that is something I can't afford to do. It means questions, questions that I won't be able to answer and it will lead to lies. Lies that I can't tell.

So back to Tawny. God, she isn't even my type. Not that I have a type, mind you, but if I did, I didn't ever think it would be gothy girls! Or girls, for that matter, but life's funny that way.

So this brings me to the question which is eating away at me; why don't I just tell her? What do I have to lose as opposed to what I have to gain?

Because for the first time in my life I am utterly scared out of my wits. What would she think of me? I feel like I'd be taking advantage of her, she's always looked up to me, this I know, and I just had to, for the first time in my life, let my hormones get completely out of control and fall for her.

For now, I have to make my way down to the garage, drag myself up from my bed where I have been cursing all aspects of my life ever since I got home from school. Come on, Ren , this was your idea to get the band started again...I need therapy.

"Well, I't seems we do actually have a vocalist!" Louis announced as I walked into the garage where the rest of the band was already set up, Beans in the corner fixing an amp. The kid was still very strange, although he had matured since third grade. Which was a slight development. I mean, now his voice was deeper.

" Shut it shrimp", I said to Louis, moving into place in front of the microphone. Ahh...just like old times. Except that back then I wasn't quite so interested in the keyboard player.

" So", I continued. " What do we have?" Everyone looked around at each other. Silence.

"Right", I continued. "Nothing. So, we need some songs. If anyone gets any ideas, go ahead".

Louis spoke up. "Hey Tawny, weren't you saying you had some stuff in that notebook you always carry around. It was your idea to start up the band again"

Tawny opened her mounth and blushed slightly. Wow, Tawny Dean blushing, it's a miracle.

"I, ahh, don't have much", she stammered. " Nothing good".

I smiled at her, cute, she was being nervous. Well, I for one wanted to see these songs.

"Come on, Tawny, I bet they're great" I said, reaching my hand out for the black notebook she kept with her at all times. I'd always wanted to see what was in it. My joy was short-lived, however, she kept the book close.

"Okay", she agreed. " But only if you let me copy the songs out of the book".

I sighed. "Alright then".

As Tawny began to copy, I sat on an amp, watching her. I wondered why she was so protective of that book. Even on this hot Sacramento afternoon, she looked perfect, her long black hair swept back into a sleek ponytail, and the short black skirt she was wearing climbing far too high up her legs and affecting me in ways I shouldn't be affected!

We all sat in silence for a while, the only sould the scratch of Tawny's pen on paper. As far as I was concerned, the atmosphere in the room was far too tense for my liking, so I stood up, muttered something about needing a drink, and headed into the kitchen.

I flopped on to a chair and buried my head in my hands, resisting the urge to bang my head repeatedly against the solid oak table. I sat there for what must have been about five minutes, the same words repeating over and over in my head...damn her, damn her, damn her, damn her...

"Ren?"

A familiar voice startled me out of my reverie, and turning around sharply, I came face to face with the person I had been so forcibly 'damning' only sconds before.

"Oh, hey Tawny" I said, forcing a smile onto my face.

"I was told to come find you" she said, looking at me strangely.

I stood up and walked over to the fridge

"Oh, yeah" I said " Wait a sec, I'll just get the drink I actually came up here to get, and then come down" I said, smiling at her and feeling slightly sheepish.

She came into the kitchen and grabbed a can of soda from the fridge.

"Yea, that drink sounds like a great idea" she laughed.

The kitchen fell silent yet again, you would have had to be stupid or dead to not feel the tension in the room at that moment. Tawny finally broke the silence.

"Ren, err...are you okay? you've been a little strange lately and I was just wondering...never mind."

I was curious.

"No, what were you going to say?"

She avoided meeting my eyes.

"Ren...recently you've been kinda...weird towards me. It's like you don't want to be around me or something. We've always been pretty good friends, haven't we? I know I'm considered more Louis' friend than yours, but..." she paused, and raised her eyes to meet mine. "I really like you Ren. I miss the days when we used to spend more time together."

I stared at her, my mouth slightly open. Hello, brain? Wake up? Attention brain, not hormones!

It took me a few seconds to reply.

"Tawny...It's not anything like that..."

I suddenly had to get out of there, it was either run or do something incredibly stupid.

"I'm sorry Tawny...I can't talk about this now". I made the mistake of looking into her hurt eyes as I left. Walking away, I wanted to hit myself.

'Ren Stevens, you put the bi in bitch.', I thought as I walked back into the garage.