Five days later Christine answered Madame Giry's summons to see her after rehearsal. Knocking on the Ballet Mistress' private door, the young soprano heard, "Come in."
"Ah, good," Madame Giry said, welcoming Christine with a smile. The older woman gestured toward the coffee and biscuits waiting near her lounge. "Please, my dear, sit down, have something to drink, a bite to eat. It has been a long day," she said, sitting on a chair across from the bride to be. Pouring coffee, she stirred in cream and sugar, then plunged ahead. Fleur had never been one to mince words. "Christine, you have questions about marriage, yes? Perhaps the wedding night?"
Christine had questions, but was not sure she could ask them. It was so hard to say what her mind screamed at her to know, her mouth refusing to give voice to them.
Fleur knew this reluctance all too well. She had not been Ballet Mistress all these years without the girls coming to her, openly or furtively, with every concern. At least with Christine she knew it was not some of the grimmer things she had dealt with. She took a sip of her coffee, waiting. "Come, my dear, you must want to ask something." Still Christine was quiet, troubled. Fleur put her cup down. "Very well. I will ask you, then, yes?"
Christine brightened at that, nodding. "Yes, all right."
"Then let us begin at the beginning. A woman's first time to lie with a man, you know it is different than any time after that, yes? You have heard about the virginity, the maidenhead?" she asked, gentle but forthright. There was a time to put aside politesse, but that did not mean substituting crudity.
Christine's face fell. "Yes. Some women say it hurts, some say there is so much blood, I don't know what to believe anymore. I'm so nervous! I love him, I know he loves me, but still…I can't help it." She held her cup as if her life depended on it.
"Of course you are nervous, my dear, it is only natural. As for what will happen, do not listen to the others; they are like a bunch of hens clucking their tongues." She leaned forward, squeezing Christine's arm reassuringly. "Listen to me. You know you are a daughter to me, I will tell you the truth: the first time a woman lies with a man, no one can say what will happen. Sometimes there is pain, sometimes not. Sometimes there is blood, sometimes not. It is different for everyone. The important thing is to wait for the right time, when you are sure you want to make love with your beloved." She took a sip of her coffee, waiting for a reaction. Christine looked somewhat relieved, but Fleur was not yet done.
"Keep these things in mind, my dear: first, if there is pain, it will not last. Done is done, and there is an end to it quickly. Now if there is blood, that is simple; put a towel down underneath you, as you do every month to spare the dormitory sheets." She paused, making sure she caught the young woman's eyes. "But the most important thing is that great passion overcomes all—find your passion, let it carry you, and you will see, it will not matter to you then as it does now. Your passion will overcome your fear, and then it will be the right time." Smiling indulgently, she finished her coffee, saw that Christine's cup was still half full.
"Christine? My dear, are you still worried?" she asked.
"Not like before, no. Thank you, Madame," she answered, taking another sip. "But…what if I do something wrong?"
Fleur sighed, thinking. "Child, when it comes to love, there is no right or wrong. There are only the two of you, and whatever feels right to you both, that is right." She decided to tell the young woman what she had been holding back. "I know you are virgin, my dear, but what you may not know is that he is, too. Do not worry; there will be no comparing."
Finally Christine's anxiety eased, and Fleur knew she had guessed right. Of course, Erik being twice her age, Christine had assumed he was experienced in this. She leaned forward, earnest now, taking Christine's hand.
"Christine, you know Erik is not like other men. He has been alone for so long, never expected to fall in love. He is more worried than you, my child, if the truth were known. So. I have bought you something you may use, or not, as you wish." She opened a green velvet drawstring pouch and removed a phallus-shaped object, slender but nonetheless quite obvious in its purpose. The smooth, glazed ceramic was white, decorated with twining vines of blossoming red roses. It looked like it belonged on display somewhere, it was so pretty. Fleur handed it to her with a kindly smile.
Christine held it for a moment, looking uncertainly at Madame Giry. She knew what it was but would not admit what things she had seen in the women's dormitories when the Ballet Mistress was not there. Still, she had never held one before, and was fascinated. It was far better than the others she had glimpsed, a work of art in itself.
"It is called a nun's jewel, or in Italian, a diletto, which means 'delight'. You can see why." Fleur casually retrieved it and put it back in the velvet bag, pulling the drawstring shut. "They can be useful for the wedding night. Sometimes the groom is too nervous, or the maidenhead is too strong, and some help is needed." She shrugged, smiling. "So, now you have some help."
"I have some other things for you, my dear." She brought out a stoppered glass bottle, colorless glass holding a golden liquid, the twisted stopper striped in gold. "Sweet almond oil. It is important, when making love, that nothing is dry. That will cause pain no matter how many times you lie together. Use as much as you like: more is always better, but remember to keep everything very clean. Infection is not something you want." Putting the oil back on the table, Fleur picked up a wooden box. "This is a contraceptive jelly," she told the young woman, opening the box to reveal a heavy glass jar and a frosted glass applicator. "If and when you decide to have children, it should not be on your wedding night. Your career would be over just as it is starting, and you would not have the pleasure of being newlyweds if you became pregnant so soon." She unscrewed the jar, showing the milky substance to Christine. "I have already given Erik condoms, but you should also use this to make doubly sure. Sometimes there can be tiny cracks in the rubber, and you do not want to lie awake at night worrying." She showed Christine how the applicator worked, drawing up a tube's worth and releasing it back into the jar. "Place one tube of this all the way inside you before you let him in, and of course always make sure he is dressed appropriately before you open the door." She smiled wryly, and Christine realized she had made a joke. Nervous laughter erupted out of her at the visions that came to mind, and whereas she had simply been afraid before, now she could put some of it aside. The unknown was still there, but it was no longer the end of the world.
One last thing nagged at her, though. "But what shall I do? If he's also virgin, and more nervous than I?" She'd been afraid of making a bad showing compared to the other lovers he must have had; but she had also been counting on his experience to make their wedding night easier for her. To find out now that he was just as nervous, just as new, posed a different riddle altogether.
The Ballet Mistress looked at her young charge knowingly. "Compliment him. Reassure him with loving words. That will do wonders for his confidence."