London

Daniel hadn't been in London in almost ten years. It had changed and stayed the same. The buildings were the same, but the people were different, more multicultural, fewer blonds, more Middle Eastern people. That reminded him of Abydos.

He wandered around the city without purpose or destination. He just wanted to be among large groups of people without anyone wanting anything from him. He thought about going to the British Museum to see what was new there, but he didn't feel like being inside. After three months spent almost entirely outside, walls closed in on him and made his skin itch.

His hotel was in the center of the city, near King's Cross Station. He could walk or take the tube anywhere quickly. He was within walking distance of the British Library and the British Museum – a long walk. Today, he decided to walk over to Regent's Park and just people watch.

He found an unoccupied bench between the running track and the zoo. He figured he would see all kinds of people in that area. He sat and watched for several hours, enjoying a game of making up stories about people who went past him. His parents used to play that game with him whenever they were in a city.

Then it happened. He turned his head and saw her. Arwen. Her back was to him, but it was her body, her hair streaming down her back. He rose and moved toward her, heart thumping hard enough that he thought it would break through his rib cage. She turned and looked directly at him.

It wasn't her. His heart stopped. Was it possible to die from disappointment? Who would know if he just collapsed here, in the middle of Regent's Park?

How was he going to survive without her? This felt as bad as when he'd lost Sha're. Even worse. He had hope for two years that he'd find and rescue Sha're. Even after she died, he knew she had wanted to be with him. AJ didn't. There was no hope. He felt as though he were being consumed by the Nothingness from a favorite childhood book he'd read in the original German. He wanted to scream and beat something. He wanted to disappear. He wanted…he wanted her.

He turned and dragged himself back to his hotel. Dropping his key card on the table next to the door, he curled himself up in the center of the bed. He stayed there, rocking slightly until darkness chased away the light from his room. He sat up, amazed that he'd missed the whole afternoon.

He picked up the phone. He hadn't called Teal'c yet to let him know he was OK. God, if this is OK, I'm screwed.

"Hello. How may I be of assistance?" The deep, steady voice of his friend was like a lifeline to reality for Daniel.

"Hey, Teal'c. I'm in London. Everything's fine." Daniel held onto the phone with both hands.

"I am please to hear you have safely arrived in London." Teal'c had looked it up on the internet. "You, however, do not sound 'fine.' You sound contorted out of symmetry."

Daniel held the phone out away from his face, staring at it, as if that would help him translate his friend's mangled American slang. Blinking at the piece of plastic in his hand, Daniel finally figured it out.

"You mean 'bent out of shape'?"

"Indeed."

Daniel wondered if Teal'c was grinning from ear to ear, or if he maintained the poker face from over four thousand miles away.

"Thanks, Teal'c. I needed that. I haven't been having a very good day. I keep seeing her in the women who pass by and every time that happens…" Daniel's voice choked up and he couldn't continue.

"DanielJackson, she is with her family for two weeks. You just need to get through two weeks. Then you can confront her and resolve the differences between you. If she does not choose to be with you, then you will get through that with the support of your friends." Teal'c almost wished for Thor to beam him up and then down to London. Earth transportation was entirely to slow for him.

"Teal'c. You are a good friend." Daniel sighed. "Say hello to Sam and Jack. I know he'll drive you nuts trying to get you to tell him where I am, but I really can't deal with him now. When I get back, but not now."

"Good-bye, my friend." Teal'c hung up.

Daniel decided to have some dinner sent up and watch the telly. He ordered a sandwich and a beer, and then flicked on the TV. "Wormhole X-Treme" So that's where bad American TV goes. It gets exported. No wonder the rest of the world thinks we're strange.