Chapter 4: Sirius, The Birds, and The Bees
Once Sirius and Melissa arrived back at Black manor Sirius was at a loss of what to do. He didn't know where to start, what to say, and was cursing Merlin that he couldn't wait a few years before making Sirius have the 'talk' with his daughter. 'She's only 12 bloody years old, what in the world is going on? When I was 12 years old the last thing on my mind was shagging someone.' Sirius thought to himself. Melissa was also afraid to speak up, she was afraid that if she opened her mouth now her father would blow his top. She had never seen Sirius this quiet before and that alone scared her out of her mind. "Melissa, go to your room until I've calmed down enough to deal with this morning events." Sirius said as calmly as he could. Without much resistance, Melissa made her way up to her room with silent tears running down her cheeks. Sirius retired to his study for a while.
"What in Merlin's name was she thinking? If Dragon is anything like his father, Melissa would have been hurt with out a doubt in my mind." Sirius yelled out, after placing a silencing charm on his study. He didn't want Melissa to know how angry he really was over all of this.
"What's wrong Siri? You know you can tell me." A highly familiar voice said from the corner of Sirius' dark study.
"How did, what? Oh fine, Melissa is willingly giving up her virginity to Dragon now. I swear she is one step off of stripping naked in front of him and dancing around. I am not ready to deal with this, I thought having a son might be bad, I had no clue how bad having a girl was." Sirius turned on a few lights, right in front of him stood a very beautiful girl. She had brown hair and baby blue eyes, her skin looked like she had been to the beach a few days ago.
"I got in because I overheard your password. I'm here because I missed you, and I couldn't wait to see you before I left. Now Siri, you knew that eventually you were going to have to have this talk with Melissa. Amanda isn't here to do it, and when she was she still planned on you talking to her, hoping that you might scare her a little. You'll do fine, just don't do it in front of her friends or Dragon." The mysterious girl sat down on Sirius' lap and kissed his forehead. "If you want I'll talk to her for you."
"Where are you going? When will you be back?" Sirius asked, and then the last thing Chastity had said struck him. " Chas, I can't let you talk to her. I need to do this, it'll help me get over the nervousness of future talks with her, for example the bleeding talk."
"Yeah that's a great way to go about it. Oh by the way, when you become a teenager you bleed for a straight week and there's nothing you can do to stop it. Yeah let's scare the girl to death that will always work. That talk I am definitely handling, there is no way in hell you are going to tell her and explain all that crap to her. You can't even look at a box of tampons without running out of the room." Chastity joked. "I'm going to New Jersey in America, it's my time to give up my crown to a new Miss America. Then I'll return here and we'll see what happens." Chastity was 9 years younger than Sirius, but the first time they saw each other, 6 years after Amanda's death, it was love at first sight. However, due to Chastity living in America they decided to be friends until she could move closer to Sirius.
"Ok, so the bleeding talk is all yours along with the make up talk, the flirting talk, the trampy clothes talk, and the anything being pierced talk." Sirius smiled looking at Chastity's frowning face.
"Oh yeah, and when are you going to parent your child? I think you should have the trampy clothes and anything pierced talk. I don't know your rules for piercing if I was her parent I would have already taken her out to get her belly button pierced, or if she preferred her tongue pierced. What, no I wouldn't do that because of what tongue piercing is good for, but I'd let her get almost anything else pierced." Chastity tried to cheer up Sirius, she knew that Melissa was going to be worse off if Sirius went into her room right now angry, embarrassed, and extremely upset.
"Ok, fine. So to change topics." Sirius definitely wanted to get off the subject.
"No, one more question. How did you know she wanted to boink Dragon?" Chastity was very much intrigued now.
"He came out yelling about crazy women and wanting to become gay if they all acted like that or something. He's seriously thinking of breaking up with her because she won't stop. I don't know if I should ground her, spank her bottom, or lock her up until she's 50!" Sirius said getting up and pacing his study, leaving Chastity to sit in his chair.
"Well by the time she's 50 you'll be 85, do you think you'll be able to remember to unlock her door? I mean you'll have so many medications you'll be taking, and you'll probably be in diapers, and all wrinkly. Plus, not seeing your daughter in 50 years, you know she might just die from starvation, or climb out a window, or worse you'll forget why the door is locked and think you're being haunted when she started pounding on it." Chastity started to crack up. Sirius looked at her mischievously.
"Oh you think that's funny do you? I'll show you funny." Sirius went over and threw Chastity over his shoulder. He walked out of his study, through the living room doors to the back yard, and threw her into the pool. "How funny do you think that is now?"
"Sirius Black, you better pray I don't get you back for this!" Chastity yelled, swimming over to the steps and getting out. She walked over to Sirius and gave him a huge hug. "If I can't get you into the pool, I'll just have to bring the pool to you." And with that she took Sirius' wand and transported all the pool water above Sirius' head. With a wave of his wand, the water dropped from the sky, drenching Sirius.
"Truce! Truce! I knew there was a reason I kept you around." Sirius said laughing ringing his shirt out.
"Besides the fact that I keep you up with us younger people, and keep you gorgeously handsome. Now, I have to go, I'll see you in two weeks, and go talk to your daughter." Chastity gave him his wand back, kissed him on the cheek, and went to leave. While she was walking away Sirius performed a drying charm on her. Sirius then went in through a side door and up the stairs. Once he reached Melissa's room he knocked on the door and went in.
"Dad!" Melissa screamed grabbing a t-shirt and holding it over her. Sirius quickly turned around. 'Great! First the sex talk and then I walk in on her. Why the hell didn't I take Chastity up on her offer?' Sirius was mentally kicking himself. "Ok, I'm dressed you can turn around now."
"Ok, we need to talk. " Sirius sat down on Melissa's baby pink bed.
"I figured, but do you really think you're the right person to talk to me about this?" Melissa asked, sitting down by the window.
"Yes, I really think I'm the right person to talk to you about this, I am a guy after all! Unless you want to discuss this with Draco or Harry, I'm sure they're dieing to know what came over you." Sirius said, his anger flaring back up. He took a deep breath and continued. "Look, I know that Dragon had sex last year and that you're jealous of the fact that your friend has done something that you haven't. In all truthfulness, it was very irresponsible of him to do that. See Melissa, guys in general are very irresponsible, especially young guys. See when guys reach a certain age they only want one thing and that's well you know exactly what that is. You going around telling people you're ready to have sex, well it makes people lose respect for you, and it embarrasses the heck out of your family. That in some ways includes Draco and including Draco includes Harry, James, Lily, Severus, Remus, and me. You are way too young to even think about having sex, could you imagine being 13 and raising a one year old? How could you explain to your child when they ask why their 23 and your 36? Plus, when you do finally consummate a relationship it should be special. You shouldn't think about it as being experienced when you finally get married, you should think about it as giving your husband a gift that was rare and precious. When I married your mom she was still a virgin, and that night was amazing and special and I'll always remember it because of that. Now, do you want to sleep with some guy to get back at someone and lose all respect for yourself and for the people around you, or do you want it to be special and when the time is right." Sirius tried to explain the best he knew how.
"Yeah well what about Chastity? I bet she's not a virgin, I mean look at all the men that fawn over her, you fawn over her." Melissa was determined not to back down.
"Just because Chastity has guys lined up around the block doesn't mean she has sex with every one of them, or any of them. Yes, Chastity is very beautiful, and you are too, but the difference between you both is that Chastity doesn't strip down for anyone. Though she might not look like it, she hasn't had sex yet. Look when she comes back in two weeks you can ask her, I'll even give you vertiserum, and I'm sure she'll be willing to take it, or you can ask Snape for some. I'll make a deal, if Chastity isn't a virgin, I'll let you do whatever you want when it comes to your sex life, if she is you have to sign a promise card for me ok? Promising you won't have sex until marriage. Deal?" Sirius stuck out his hand, praying that Chastity was still a virgin.
"Deal, but if she isn't I get to sleep with Dragon and you have to back off." Sirius shook his head, and Melissa grabbed his hand shaking it.
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James walked up to Dragons room and knocked on the door. "Come in unless you're a girl then you can remain out there." Dragon yelled through the door.
"I'm a guy, don't worry. I just came to tell you that I am proud of how you handled that situation. You didn't give into Melissa, and by the way she screamed I'm pretty sure you gave her what she needed to understand that that wasn't what she wanted. I don't think you should go gay over one little outburst." James sat down on a chair by Dragon's desk.
"That wasn't the first time she's done something like that. It's been that way since Christmas. According to Daniel, when she went to visit him over the summer, she tried to get him to sleep with her also. I don't think I can keep handling this, with out giving in. It's like once you've had sex, you keep wanting it. It's like a drug, you want to go back for more even though you know you shouldn't. You understand grandpa right?" Dragon asked, turning towards James.
"Yes Dragon I do. You are a lot older then you should be, I don't think an adult could have explained it that way. You're right though Drag, you shouldn't keep doing it until you're married, but now that you've started I can't stop you. I just want to make sure you're safe, we don't want an accident, but don't tell your grandmother or parents I said that." James winked at him.
"Ok I won't, so how's dad doing? He didn't look very happy, and I could tell it wasn't about Melissa and me." Dragon said taking out a Quaffle and throwing it to James.
"He'll be fine, I think Lily said she was going to talk to him. You might want to get ready to go to Diagon Alley, we should be leaving soon, if you know we get him cooled down." James threw the Quaffle back, and got up to leave the room.
"Hey Grandpa, I'm glad you were brought back, you're really cool." Dragon said before going into the bathroom. James stood there for a second smiling. He then went into Alyssa's room.
"Hey little one, you better not be picking up those twos bad habits. We don't want you stripping down and having babies yet, seeming that you're just a baby yourself. Let's see, let's make a plan for you, by age 12 you'll be sorted into Gryffindor, where you will make many friends, and you'll stay away from guys until your 80. Then when you're 13, you'll kick your brothers butt for every bad thing he does, and when he sleeps with a girl you'll call a house elf and get them hexed with some nasty curse that way he won't procreate until he's 80 also. Then you'll graduate, and marry some rich guy who is also waiting until he's 80 to have sex and children. Got it young lady?" Alyssa just gurgled and James couldn't help but smile. "Fine you can procreate at 70 but no younger."
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Lily walked into the kitchen, or at least she tried to walk into the kitchen. "Harry James Malfoy, just what in Merlin's name have you been doing?" Lily asked, still trying to get the door opened.
"Sorry mum, I've been making cookies, and well I think I got a little out of hand." Harry moved a batch of cookies and let Lily into the kitchen.
"Harry what's wrong? I've been told you only cook when you're upset. I'm your mum, you can tell me." Lily sat down at the kitchen table looking at her son's worried face.
"I lost the twins, I almost lost Dragon once, I refuse to lose anyone again! This stupid war has gotten out of hand, and I quit! I killed Voldemort, I fulfilled my destiny, I'm done, I quit! I am not having my family sucked back into this mess. I refuse to lose Dragon, I refuse to lose Alyssa, and I refuse to lose my husband. I not only wanted a family when I did because I loved Draco and wanted to show him that love, but because the war was over, it ended Voldemort was dead, the light side won and it was safe. If I knew that the war would start again, I probably would have thought twice before bringing innocent children into this world. I definitely would have though twice about coming back to get my inheritance if I knew I'd be drug into another war." Harry confessed sitting down.
"So what, you just want to leave? Harry relationships don't work like that." Lily took Harry's hand in hers.
"Mum, it's not just that. Since the twins died, Draco and I have become distant. What Dragon caught today was the first time in well in a while, we never talk anymore. He gets up a leaves early in the morning and comes home way past midnight. I don't think this marriage is going the way that I had hoped for when I proposed. I just don't know what to do." Harry placed his head on the table, feeling the stress from the past few months build up.
"Harry, I can't decide that for you. You need to think about what's best for the children in the long run, what's going to be best for you both as a couple, and over all what's best for you and your health. However, you can't keep baking cookies for the rest of your life, you already have way too many to eat. I think you might end up giving them away for presents for the next 10 years, I mean yeah people will love it, until they end up getting fat. What if James and I take Alyssa and Dragon to Diagon Alley to pick up everything? It will give you guys time to talk, and while we are there James and I can find a job. Before I go out there, do you know what you want to do?" Lily asked, trying to get Harry to pick up his head.
"Mum, I think that if I keep this up we're going to start fighting, and I don't want the kids to see us fighting. Plus, I think that Draco's been a bad influence on Dragon, but I don't want to take Dragon away from him because I wasn't there to begin with and Drake was, however I bore Alyssa and I'll be damned if she loses her virginity at 12. I need someone who is going to love me, no matter what goes on in this world and I don't think that Draco can do that. I think he fears for his life just as much as the next person, even though he knows that he can save his on arse when it comes down to it. I know what I have to do."
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Dragon: OH NO! What is my dad going to do? Ha ha to Melissa though, stupid to make a deal with a Marauder, she should know that. Oh by the way I accidentally looked through the window to the hot neighbor next store and my gosh does she...
Kime: Dragon finish that sentence and I bet half of the reviewers would hurt you. I'm pretty sure many are pining for you anyway.
Dragon: You don't have to think, I already know they are. I'm that damn hot Kim, you should know too, you see me everyday. Orlin should know also, as she sees me every night, if you catch my drift.
Kime: Dragon, you do not boink her every night! She might have dreams abotu you, but for all you know she could be lieing to us and really dreaming about how to kill you. That's right, she's dreaming of the destruction of one Dragon Malfoy.
Dragon: Keep Dreaming.
Lily: If that's true, do you really want her to keep dreaming? The plots could get worse.
Dragon: Fine Fine, on with the review I guess. Hey speak of the devil, Orlin's first. Yes I am going back to Hogwarts, I wasn't really going to become gay, HELLO! Isee that enough at home. However, don't hold your breath with Melissa, I think there might be a new person on the horizon. I said might, there doesn't actually mean there will be. Here's a tip also, when in school aren't you suppose to be learning as Hermione always says "Math is very important."
Kime: When has she ever said that?
Dragon: DUH! All the time! See I did say ALL the time.
Kime: cough Liar! cough
Dragon: Anyways...Maybe Volleypickle could settle this fight. Well, whose right? If you said me, I'll sleep with you, seriously, I mean it. Think of how hott I am, I'm a Malfoy woman think harder, you know you want me.
Sarah Amanda: Don't think I forgot about you, whom do you agree with hmm? I'll give you my grandpa if you say me, come on I know he's old and taken, but he's hot and cool and Harry Potter's dad. I mean how many people could say they were with Harry Potters dad, well besides Harry Potters mum.
Ok...Ok..One last thing, Kime, her sister, and I were fighting, and we wanted everyones opinion, in a fight between Cowboys and Knights, who would win? Kime and I said Knights, but her sister said Cowboys any takers?