A/N - Thanks to all who reviewed. As a bonus, there will be a new installment up in three days time. Points to anyone who knows where the title comes from, and who can spot the Shrek reference in this chapter. Please return your seats to an upright position and use the airsickness bags to your left, not the sleeping passenger's popcorn bag to your right. Thank you.
Chapter Seventeen - 'Get Off My Back'
'Get off my back and into my game / Get out of my way and out of my brain / Get out of my face, or give it your best shot. / I think it's time you'd better face the facts – Get off my back'. -Bryan Adams and Eliot Kennedy, 'Get Off My Back' (2002)
"Like, come on, Kurt."
"Nein! No way am I going in there."
"But there's nothing to be afraid of."
"They're wild beasts!"
"No, they're not. Look, this one's lipping my hand. She's gentle as a lamb. Come and stroke her nose, it's soft as velvet - "
"Ich lehne ab! Es ist gefährlich! Ich werde nicht es tun!"
"Could you at least argue in a language I, like, understand?"
Kitty tapped her foot impatiently. She would have placed her hands on her hips had they not been preoccupied with keeping hold of a rather docile mare's reins. The doe-eyed horse nuzzled into her palm, licking the salt from her skin with a long, pink tongue.
Kurt clung desperately to the slats of the wooden fence a few feet away, refusing to come any nearer to 'those savage animals'.
Left of him by several feet was a small gathering of Underlings who had either nothing to do, or had forsaken their chores to watch the curious scene playing out in the paddock. Sometimes they tossed advice over the fence as to what should be done.
Kurt looked sheepish. "Sorry, Kätzchen, but I can't get any closer. I just... I can't."
Kitty sighed. "Mind telling me why? And I want a real reason, not some half-baked excuse."
He shifted his grip, hoisting his body up to perch on the narrow side of the wood. He all but defied the laws of gravity to stay upright where he should have fallen. "It's just that... they're all so big, Kätzchen." He gestured around at the handful of other horses in the paddock. All had their heads down cropping grass. "And those hooves. Just think of the damage they could do with those things."
Kitty wrinkled her nose. "Pish-posh. You're being unreasonable, Kurt. How can you judge their tempers if you won't even get close enough to pet this one?" She rubbed the mare's snout. "Look at her. She's quieter than a mouse and twice as gentle. See her licking my hand?"
"Look at those teeth. Mind your fingers, Kätzchen, or it might bite them off and eat them."
Kitty rolled her eyes, listening to the titters. "Horses are herbivores, Kurt. They wouldn't eat flesh in a million years."
"So says you."
"Look, just because you'll eat anything that stays still long enough to be termed 'food' doesn't mean all creatures do. Now get your tail over here and stroke this horse, mister, before I, like, drag you over by one of your pointy ears!"
A vague cheer went up from the crowd.
Kurt looked decidedly shamefaced. "Kätzchen-"
"Now, Kurt."
With a resigned sigh he slid to the ground and edged forward, all the time keeping one eye on the mare. She seemed quite unperturbed at his approach, sparing only an idle sniff for his unusual scent before going back to the salt on Kitty's hand. She'd smelled enough oddities in the temple to ignore Kurt's unique aroma, and seen enough Changelings not to be bothered by his appearance.
Nonetheless, he was very nervous in his approach, and stood scuffing his toes in the dust rather than come any closer.
"Kurt..." Kitty said warningly.
"Bitte, Kätzchen, don't make me come any closer. Please!"
"Look, Kurt, if there was any other way then I wouldn't make you do this. I'm not a sadist or anything. But we need horses to get to Belvedere."
"I could Bamf my way there," he suggested, voice hopeful.
Kitty rolled her eyes. "Be serious. You'd, like, totally exhaust yourself doing it. Besides, you know your re-entries aren't so good. You might, like, end up landing right in front of the Silver Sword himself. I'm sure you'd just love that."
"I suppose," Kurt mumbled.
Kitty readjusted the reins in her hands, pulling her sticky palm away and wiping it on her robe without a second thought. "It's all right, Kurt. She won't hurt you. Trust me."
He still looked unsure. "Promise?"
"Cross my heart and hope to die; stick a dagger in my eye. If it be I a lie I've said, then kill me 'til I'm good and dead." She repeated the childish rhyme like it was sacred ritual, crossing her chest at the appropriate moment.
"Well... I guess... since there's no alternative..." He slid forward tentatively. The lashing tail betrayed his nervousness. It thumped the ground and twisted around his ankle. Cautiously, he reached out to pet the mare's nose.
She waited with the patience of a long-suffering nanny.
When his fingers touched her snout, Kurt's eyes went wide. His mouth formed a little 'o' of surprise. "She's so soft. Himmel, she is like velvet."
Kitty smiled triumphantly. "Told you so."
A chorus of cheers went up from the onlookers. Several of them leaned over the fence to call out congratulations for Kurt's small but significant victory.
"Well done, fuzzy!"
"Good on ya!"
"We'll have ya ridin' in no time!"
"You mean she'll have him riding in no time."
"Whoo-hoo! Get 'em tiger!"
"Let's hear it for the blue guy!"
Kurt blushed at their compliments, unused as he was to receiving them. He contented himself with scratching the mare's nose in an effort to ignore his furious blushing. Inside, however, he found himself pleased at the attention. His chest swelled a little with pride.
"And now it's time to get on her back."
It deflated like a pig's bladder. He looked up at Kitty in abject horror. "Get on her back? Nein! No way!"
Kitty made an irritated noise. "Well how else did you expect to ride? Hanging onto her tail?"
"Nein, but - "
"No 'buts' Kurt. You gotta learn quickly. Teah said Rogue'll be able to travel in a few days so you, like, gotta be confident enough to make a long journey on horseback by then." Her face softened at his terrified expression, and she held out her hand. "Hey, don't look so terrified. I'll help you."
Kurt looked at the proffered hand, and then back up at her face. Kitty's smile was warm and comforting. A part of him couldn't help but believe her when she said nothing bad would happen, though the rest of him said many naughty words when he thought it.
However, then he thought about just how big the horse was, and how much damage she could do him without even thinking about it, and his toes curled towards his heels.
A familiar head topped with red pigtails stretched over the fence. "What the matter, laddie? You chicken?"
The crowd immediately took up the chant.
"Chick-en! Chick-en! Bak-bak-bakaak!"
Kurt flushed again, skin turning so scarlet it was impossible not to notice the darkening fur around the cheeks. Instinctively, he shrank back into a defensive posture.
Kitty took one look at him and angrily turned on the baying bystanders. "Hey, shut up! Kurt's trying his hardest and all you lot can do is, like, insult him? You should all be ashamed of yourselves! I'll bet all of you've been scared of something before, and it wouldn't have helped you if someone, like, disrespected you instead of helping. So just - back off!"
The Underlings fell into a mixture of guilty and mutinous whispers. One or two looked suitably penitent, but not as many as she might have liked. One little boy even stuck out his tongue.
Kitty glared hotly, muttering under her breath, "Kajus!"
Kurt raised his eyebrows, both with surprise at her defending him and at her use of the Gehín word. When Kitty looked at him he hastily shifted his face into a more neutral expression, trying to ignore when Rahne surreptitiously tripped the boy who had stuck his tongue out. he went sprawling, and suddenly there were three of him, all indignant and making very rude gestures at her.
"Well?" Kitty asked, not unkindly. "Like to give it a go?"
Kurt swallowed and nodded. "Yes, you gestörtes Mädchen."
She rolled her eyes at his Germanic slip, but said nothing, instead bringing the mare forward and gesturing that he should climb on.
Kurt surveyed the mare. She was a doe-eyed, grey creature, with whitish dapples all over her hindquarters and thick, stocky legs. She was also by no means the smallest horse in the paddock. He appraised the other mounts with a discerning eye.
"Um, I don't mean to be rude, Kätzchen, but... couldn't I try on that one first? It seems a bit smaller."
Kitty looked at where he pointed to a bay gelding, docilely cropping grass a few metres away. He was right; it was smaller than the grey mare, but still she was dubious.
"Well, I dunno - "
"Please, Kätzchen," Kurt pleaded. "Just humour me?"
"Heights have never bothered you before. Heck, you practically lived in treetops before I met you."
"Ja," he was forced to concede, "but trees never walked while I was sitting in them."
Despite herself, Kitty gave a wry smile. "Point taken." She cast about to the crowd of Underlings, raising one hand and waving to them. "Hey, can any of you guys help fetch that bay over there. I'd go myself, but I kinda got my hands full here."
"Sure, Ah'll get 'im." A familiar tall, shaggy blonde head stood up and vaulted over the fence. He strolled over to the preferred horse, hands in the pockets of his robe. "Ah grew up on a farm, so Ah've had experience wit' hosses."
Kurt glowered as Sam Guthrie stretched out one willowy hand and casually rubbed the gelding's neck. It raised its head, mouth full of grass, and sniffed at his robes. Evidently it recognised his scent, because a happy whinny started up in his throat, bursting forth in a staccato beat as it hastily swallowed the grass. It nuzzled under his arm, then tugged on his sleeve and danced around him. Sam laughed and walked away. The gelding followed him like an obedient dog.
When boy and horse reached Kurt and Kitty, a wide grin was plastered across Sam's handsome face, and he made an extravagant bow – to the amusement of all the onlookers. Kurt was sure he heard Rahne whistle, but when he looked she only smirked at him, eyebrows raised in an expression he couldn't understand.
"How did you, like, get him to do that?" Kitty asked, open-mouthed. Even at home, when riding on Alsin, her father's aged mare, she'd never been able to get the horse to just follow her without the use of a leading rein or rope.
Sam just grinned. "Magic, pretty missy. Magic."
"Don't listen to him!" Rahne yelled from the sidelines. "The big faker! He raised that beast from when it was just a foal. Stands to reason it'd follow him!"
Sam laughed and held up his hands in mock defeat. "Guess y'all caught me. Spider here still thinks a' me like his Ma. His real mother died when he were born, so Ah raised him mahself right from the word go."
"That's impressive," Kitty exclaimed.
Kurt's frown deepened, and he fought down the urge to growl.
"Aw shucks, tweren't nuthin'. Ah couldn't jus' let 'im die now, could Ah? You lookin' to ride 'im, Miss Kitty?"
"No, not me. Kurt." Kitty gestured at Kurt, who puffed himself up to appear taller next to Sam's long limbs.
Sam scratched his head. "Well... Ah guess Ah should warn y'all. Spider don't take too kindly to riders he don't know. Might cause a bit 'o trouble, if'n y'all know what Ah mean."
"I'll be fine," Kurt said briskly.
Sam, however, still seemed uncertain. "Well, if yer sure - "
"I am."
It was but the work of a few minutes for Sam to send one of the other Underlings for a bridle and other relevant riding equipment – or, as he called it, Spider's 'tack'. It was decided that neither Spider nor the mare – who they learned was called 'Bonita' – would wear a saddle to begin with, since Kurt's unusual physiognomy didn't really suit their curves, and he had to learn by copying Kitty's example.
Sam held onto both mounts, soothing them as the two riders, one experienced and one not, clambered up and found their seats.
It was at this point that Kitty found herself the source of many curious glances from the crowd, who pointed and stared at her with open interest. Looking down, she saw Sam was also fixing her with a slightly surprised gaze.
"What? What is it?" she asked, looking around in an effort to spot what was wrong.
"Well, forgive me fer sayin', Miss Kitty, but your seat ain't very... ah... ladylike. Shouldn't ya be sittin' side-saddle or sumthin'?"
Kitty glanced down at herself. She was sat astride Bonita's back as she'd always done on Alsin, knees bent slightly to accommodate the lack of stirrups. As a result her robes had ridden up, exposing quite a length of pale leg on either side.
A blush came to her cheeks as the jibes from childhood came back to haunt her. In that instant, she was a forlorn child again, trying desperately to be part of the Zanninsan children's gang, then being spurned as 'odd' and not worth their time unless as a source of amusement and spite.
"It's... it's how I've always done it," she murmured , almost inaudible. "I learned from my father, and he always sat this way." Several titters floated to her from the gathered youngsters. Her cheeks became hotter. Stupid, stupid, stupid! You should've thought about this, Pryde. It's gonna be Zanninsa all over again. Oh gods, I'm so embarrassed.
Her eyes screwed shut without being ordered to, but snapped open again when an accented voice suddenly flew to her defence.
"Kitty ist sitting that way so that I can copy her more easily," Kurt said, loud enough that everyone could hear him. "Personlich, I think it's admirable that she's able to ride in both styles. Don't you, Herr Guthrie?"
Sam blinked unintelligently for a moment, and then caught on to what Kurt was doing. "Yeah. Yeah, s'real admirable. Ah know Ah couldn't sit side-saddle, an' Ah don't know no girls who could sit astride, but Kitty c'n do both. S'a real achievement, if'n ya ask me."
Kitty looked up at the both of them, gratitude shining in her eyes. "Thank you," she mouthed, before tossing back her hair – now tied back into its favoured ponytail – and sitting straighter. "Right. Shall we get started?"
Kurt's smile faded. "Do we have to?"
"Yes."
He whimpered.
Sam released Bonita, but kept hold of Spider for the moment so that Kurt could watch without worrying about his mount running off.
Gently, Kitty nudged the dappled mare with her knees, easing her into a slow walk. Bonita was a comfortable ride, and Kitty soon fell into the right rhythm, swaying from side to side with each step.
"Now, despite what many riders will tell you, the best thing to do is guide your horse with your knees, not by kicking them with your feet. You gently apply pressure to the horse's sides. More pressure means you go faster. Simple really." She smiled encouragingly. "Now you try it, Kurt."
"Ah'll hold on an' lead Spider at first," Sam offered. "S'what Ah do wit' little 'uns when Ah teach 'em t'ride. Gives 'em a bit more confidence knowin' Ah'm there, if'n ya know what Ah mean."
But Kurt was having none of it. "No, I'll be fine, thank you," he said stiffly, to which Sam raised an eyebrow.
"Have ya ever been on a hoss before, Fuzzy?"
"The name's Kurt, not Fuzzy, and no, I haven't. But I don't need your help to learn."
Sam shook his head, blonde hair swishing about his neck. A mischievous smile played about his lips, but he hid it behind a hand."Well, all right then. But don't say Ah didn't warn ya 'bout Spider."
"I can handle him." Then, a little less certainly, Kurt added, "I'm sure I can."
Sam shrugged, let go of the gelding's bridle, and stood back. Kurt nodded, and then pressed his knees together, just as Kitty had instructed.
For a moment nothing happened. Kurt wondered whether he'd pressed hard enough. He nudged the horse again, this time more firmly. Spider gave a flick of his head, chewing at the bit between his teeth, but finally moved forward. His gait wasn't quite as smooth as Bonita's, but Kurt was so overjoyed at having made the beast actually move that he didn't notice.
"Good, Kurt," Kitty said from the other end of the paddock. "You're doing great."
A grin spread from pointy ear to pointy ear, as Kurt clutched at Spider's reins. Sam was closer than Kitty, and when he spoke he had only to drawl rather than shout. "You're grip's too tight, Fuzzy – nearly pullin' Spider's head off. Loosen up a bit. Give 'im some freedom. But not too much, mind. Remember, you're in charge, not 'im. Whatever ya do, don't let 'im ferget that."
Kurt didn't answer, but subtly shifted his grip to accommodate the other boy's advice. After all, Kitty might not have heard, and there was no point in going out of his way to appear foolish in front of her. Even if it did mean accepting guidance from Sam Guthrie.
His smile stayed glued in place until, quite suddenly, a rather unpleasant notion occurred to him. The grin vanished as he called out, "Kätzchen, how do I steer this thing?"
Kitty directed Bonita towards him and replied, "You use the reins. Gently tug either one side or the other to direct the horse's nose. A horse will always follow its nose, so if you can get that pointing in the direction you want then you've, like, got it made."
Still panicky, but unwilling to show it, Kurt swallowed his trepidation and tugged ever so slightly with his right hand. Spider ignored the timid order with a shake of his head and kept on going in a straight line.
"You've, like, gotta be firmer with him, Kurt. Otherwise he'll walk all over you, so to speak."
"Aye, show him who's boss, Elfy!" shouted a brogue that sounded distinctly like Rahne's. Kurt would have looked and glared, but his preoccupation with Spider was increasing as they neared a fence that the gelding showed no signs of stopping for or avoiding.
"Kätzchen!" Kurt yelped. "He won't listen to me!"
"Firmer, Kurt. You're the rider, so you give directions. You can't be, like, half-hearted about it and give floppy signals. Make each and every tug meaningful, like you mean business. Spider will understand what you want."
Kurt swallowed again, tightening his grip and then loosening it again when he remembered Sam's words. Instantly, his brows knitted. Right, Spider, he thought, since you're Sam's horse you may not like me, but you are not going to make me look bad in front of Kätzchen! I refuse to be bettered by... an irritating beast of burden. You will do as I say – please?
He tugged again with his right hand, pulling Spider's snout to face away from the fence. Spider snorted, but dutifully complied. They began walking back towards the centre of the paddock.
If possible, Kurt's grin stretched past his ears to end somewhere around the back of his skull. His eyes shone and his heart sang with triumph. He was doing it. He was actually riding.
"Kurt, you're doing it!" Kitty said delightedly, sidling up beside him.
His chest swelled more at her praise. "I am, aren't I?"
"Now we'll try stopping." Her hands flicked, bringing his attention to them. "Pull back gently with both hands, being careful not to yank at the horse's mouth – that hurts and they don't like it. The horse should stop then and wait for further instructions." She demonstrated. Bonita came to a halt without any fuss or bother. "Now you try it."
Kurt gulped, visions of not being able to stop filling his head, replete with broken bones, humiliating laughter from the sidelines and Kitty shaking her head, muttering about 'incompetent elves'. He hastily shook them away, instead concentrating on his hands and their correct equestrian form. Fervently he tried to remember all the information thrown at him since he was dragged to the paddock that morning. Sit straight, eyes forward, don't stare at the back of his neck. Hand firm. Not too sloppy, tell him who's boss. Gently pull back, making sure not to hurt him, and hopefully... He crossed his prehensile toes, since his fingers were busy.
Spider fixed him with one rebellious brown eye for a second, as if gauging whether or not to listen to the command. Kurt schooled his features into what he hoped was a authoritative expression, willing the horse to do as asked. Spider blinked, and gave a small hop-skip before stopping.
It was all Kurt could do to keep from Bamfing clean out of there and yelling 'Huzzah!' at the top of his voice. Applause spattered from the gathered Underlings, growing to a roar of appreciation and verbal backslapping as Kitty drew alongside him.
"Well done, Kurt." She reached over and laid a hand over his. "Well done."
In his entire life, Kurt had never been happier. "That wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. In fact, I feel quite exhilarated now. I could do it all over again."
"Good, because we're, like, gonna have to." Kitty pointed into the sky where the suns were performing their immutable daily dance. "We're working under a time limit here, remember? Sorry, Kurt."
"Don't apologise, Kätzchen." Kurt waved away her apologies, though inwardly he cursed his wayward tongue. "Can't be helped. Besides, you're a good teacher. I'm enjoying this lesson."
Kitty's eyes glittered with unspoken pleasure at the compliment. "Really? Well, perhaps I'd better teach you the next stage then."
Verdammt! "Next stage?"
"Uh-huh, trotting. It's relatively simple. Just a step up from walking. The only thing to worry about is getting your rhythm right, otherwise afterwards you, like, get a butt absolutely covered in bruises. Not nice, believe me."
Kurt snickered. "Sounds like you speak from experience, ja?"
"Ja."
"Well then, let's get started." He straightened up, readjusting his grip, which had slipped while he was talking. Spider pawed at the ground as the corners of his mouth were accidentally wrenched back and tossed his black mane irritably.
Kitty nodded. "You start off the same as with a basic walk, and then apply more pressure to speed up. With, like, regards to the rhythm... well, I don't know quite how to explain..."
"Miss Kitty, Ah reckon s'best to let 'im find out fer hisself." Sam called out, and then shrugged. "S'only way he'll know what feels wrong an' what feels right on 'is behind."
Kurt's top lip curled. Very articulate, I'm sure.
"I suppose you're right, Sam," Kitty granted, glancing across at Kurt. "Kurt, I'll go first and show you what I mean with Bonita. Then you copy me on Spider, got it?"
"Ich verstehe. Okay, Kätzchen."
Kitty nudged the mare into a walk, letting her get a few feet away before nudging her again. Bonita took several steps, and then picked up her pace to trot blithely across the paddock.
Kurt watched through keen, hypersensitive eyes. He noted every movement, every nuance, storing them away to use for himself. He saw how Kitty rose and fell in her seat with every other step Bonita took, creating a rhythm between horse and rider that made them seem almost one, gestalt being. If I could do that on my first lesson, surely Kätzchen would be impressed with me. Another notion struck him, and a mischievous smile split his lips. Impressed enough, perhaps, to forget all about Herr Guthrie.
The idea was crazy and born of confused emotions warring in his breast, but enough to snap his mind into action. He saw how Kitty pressed her legs against Bonita's sides with just enough force to make her move. Granted, his digigrade counterparts weren't the same shape as hers, but surely that wouldn't make much difference if he gave Spider the same signal, would it?
Tentatively, he bumped against the gelding's sides with his knees, hoping against hope that it would produce a favourable result.
It was then that Spider exhibited his true nature; the side that Sam had tried unsuccessfully to warn Kurt about. You see, amongst all the horses at The Temple of The Way, Spider had a special reputation. Many who had ridden him claimed he was a 'devil-beast', but Sam staunchly defended that he was in fact one of those few animals who possessed a sense of humour. His mind, Sam claimed, was more like a human's than many cared to realize – especially his uncanny ability to remember incidents and exact revenge. That was why he wasn't usually recommended as a beginner's mount.
In Layman's terms, Spider liked to play practical jokes.
The gelding fixed one mutinous brown eye upon Kurt, filled with an expression so intelligent and mischievous that it made the fur on his back stand on end. For a split-second, Kurt regretted choosing Spider instead of contenting himself with a placid beast like Bonita, but he had no more time to think about anything as the horse let out a whinny and bolted forward.
Thanks to his inexperience as a horseman, the reins slipped easily from Kurt's grasp and he snapped backwards with such force that he went tumbling head over heels, rolling off Spider's rump to land face-first in a pile of ablution some creature had been kind enough to leave there for him.
With a worried 'da-da-dum, da-da-dum, da-da-dum,' Kitty urged Bonita into a canter, pulling her up to halt next to the fallen elf. Across the paddock she could see Sam also running towards her, but there was something odd about the way he moved. His gait seemed lolloping and disjointed, and as he approached she realised why. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he laughed at Spider's antics and the fate that had befallen the unfortunate Kurt as a result.
Kitty swung her leg over Bonita's back, jumping down with practised ease and peering with concern at Kurt. He was lying where he'd fallen, a pathetic heap of blue fur and pink, besmirched fabric. Incongruous to Sam's peals of laughter, Kurt was incredibly still. Kitty fancied she couldn't even see his chest moving. And were his legs, like, supposed to bend that way, or was it just her imagination?
Anxiety filled her as she spoke softly, hoping he was all right – oh gods, please let him be all right! – and could hear her. "Kurt? Kurt, are you okay? Speak to me Kurt. Kurt, speak to me!" She tried to keep her voice strong, but couldn't help a note of panic creeping into it.
Sam drew closer. Seeing the look on her face, his good-humour died in his throat. He, too, looked down at the pitiable bundle. "Fuzzy?" he ventured, voice uncertain.
There was no response.
Kitty pushed Bonita's reins into the Underling's hands and crouched down. "Kurt? Kurt?"
"Spider's never done nuthin' like this 'afore." Sam said, a faltering edge to his tone. "He played a few tricks, sure, but no-one never got injured. Least, not this bad. Fuzzy, wake up. Wake up!"
Kitty's eyes shone with unshed tears, as she reached out and shook one stained shoulder. "I shouldn't have pushed him to ride. I shouldn't have pushed things so fast. It's all my fault. Kurt? Please..."
Suddenly, Kurt moved.
Kitty's hand jerked back of its own accord, and she, Sam, and the group of onlookers watched with perverted curiosity as the 'body' raised its face out of the smelly mess and propped itself up on its elbows.
Kurt's face was a chaos of knarled fur, clumps of dung and uprooted grass. He wiped a globule of the unpleasant concoction from his mouth, spitting it onto the ground with an expression of disgust. He looked up at Kitty, then at Sam. Finally, his eyes traced across the paddock to where Spider looked on, totally unperturbed about the smelly predicament he'd created. Kurt frowned, and glared hot liquid death at the horse.
"That's it, I'm walking!"
Ororo walked sedately along the winding corridor, passing numerous Underlings and Initiates, giving each a token nod of greeting as she passed. In turn, they gave the required response to the Temple Mother and went on their way. Nobody asked where she was going, and she made no demands of anyone else. It was a comfortable quiet.
At last she arrived at her destination, a large wooden door embedded so well into the grey stonework of the wall that it was almost like it had grown there. You half-expected to see vines and creepers snaking their way up the slats and curling around the handle in the way nature always claimed back what was rightfully hers.
Strange, Ororo thought idly, I seem to have spent a great deal of time here lately. And I don't even get sick.
Soberly, she pushed open the Infirmary door, not leaving it to crash open like, oh, to pick a random name out of the air, Underling Jubilee would have, but not quite as timid as many would've done considering the one sheltered within.
A knife buried itself in the wall mere inches from her head. It quivered, handle still shaking from the force of its launch, and a thin spider-like crack spreading around its tip. Ororo took an involuntary step back, eyes sliding from the embedded blade to the one who'd thrown it.
Rogue sat in her bed, frowning. Her arms were folded, and she glared menacingly at the small, rather blunt weapon that'd so recently been in her possession.
"Mah aim's off," She announced. "I'm getting sloppy." Abruptly, her eyes slid sideways. "Oh, hello Temple Mother."
Ororo simply gaped, gaze flicking from the knife to Rogue, and then back to the knife again.
Evidently, Rogue guessed her line of thought, because she said dispassionately, "Hey, they send cutlery up with mah food. It's like telling me to throw 'em. Besides," she gestured towards the door, "I need to keep in practise."
At last Ororo found her voice. "Yes, but can you at least aim at something other than the door? You nearly gave me a heart attack just then."
"I very much doubt that." As if to emphasize her point, Rogue deftly threw another knife from the collection in her hand. It pinioned the doorframe right above Ororo's head with a dull 'thunk', and quivered with a melodic hum.
Looking around, Ororo spotted several more in various places around the frame, creating a sort-of outline of the door. "Where exactly did you get all these knives?" she asked with barely concealed amazement. Giving someone with Rogue's track record a clutch of knives was like strapping a slab of raw meat to your head and walking into a lion's den in the middle of a raging famine. "The kitchens surely can't have sent you all of them."
"Let's just say, Initiate Ashari got kinda sick of mah whining and sent down a special request." A smirk quirked the corners of Rogue's mouth. "She's just so considerate, doncha think?"
"And where exactly is Initiate Ashari now?"
She shrugged. "How the heck should I know? As per your orders, lady, I'm confined to bed. All I know is, she ain't here. You want anything more than that you'd best send out a search party or something."
Ororo sighed. Just because The Rogue could be considerate in some ways didn't mean she wasn't just as prickly and ill-tempered in others.
Gracefully, the dark-skinned woman crossed the room and perched herself on the end of the bed. "So how are you holding up?"
Rogue snorted. "Concerned about me? That's a first."
"Actually, I thought that, since your friends are currently engaged, you might appreciate a bit of company."
"They ain't mah friends, and thanks, but no thanks. The only company I like is mah own."
"Oh really?" Ororo said slyly. "That wasn't the impression I got when you were pouring your heart out to Kurt and Kitty last night. You wouldn't let either of their hands go until well after you'd fallen asleep."
Rogue scowled and folded her arms. "That was different. I... wasn't mahself then."
Ororo shook her head. "On the contrary, Marie. I think you were being quite yourself. The self you've denied since you were outcast. The self you've buried for so long under your 'dangerous' exterior. The self you've never let anyone see since Piet - "
"Shut up! Just shut up!" Rogue's eyes flashed. "If'n y'all just came up here to insult me, then you can just leave 'afore I chuck you outta that there window, Temple Mother or not! Marie's dead! That ain't me no more! I'm The Rogue, and don't you forget it, neither!"
Ororo calmly held up her hands in the worldwide signal of conciliation. "Fine, Rogue, but answer me this. If that persona isn't yours anymore, then why were you travelling to Belvedere to try and retrieve part of it?"
"Because I - " Rogue faltered for a moment, mouth open and waiting for the retort she didn't have. After a second she shut it with a rebellious 'humph'.
Ororo sighed again. "Rogue, I know you've been through a lot, and I feel your pain - "
"Do you? Do you really?" The venom in Rogue's voice would have equalled any snake's in potency. "I doubt you've ever been cast out of your home and everything you know simply because you stood up for what was right. Huh, I gave up fighting for what was right a long time ago, lady. Now I only fight for me. For mah survival, and nothing else. And if that means going to Belvedere, then so be it. I ain't falling for none of your mind-tricks. I go where I wanna go, and there's nothing else to it."
"What about Kurt and Kitty?"
"What about 'em?"
"They look up to you as their leader. Would you just abandon them to pursue your own desires?"
Rogue blinked. "Now why would they go and do a stupid thing like that? Me, their leader?" She scoffed at the idea.
Now it was Ororo's turn to shrug. "Don't ask me. I know a lot of things, but why they'd choose someone as blatantly selfish and self-absorbed as you for their leader is beyond me."
The green eyes darkened again. "How dare you. I am not selfish with them. I'd go outta mah way to protect those two little idiots! I care about them! I... oh gods!" A hand flew to her mouth as she realised what she'd said.
"You care about them," Ororo repeated, refusing to let it slide. There was a triumphant edge to her words, like she'd just won a battle of wits against the God of Wisdom himself.
"No, I didn't mean it. I'm The Rogue. I live on mah own, and the rest of the world can go rot in the Seventh Hell for all I care." Rogue's words were defensive, but their timbre desultory, lacking the vigour with which she might once have spoken them.
Ororo spoke softly, soothingly. "You don't really believe that anymore, do you, Rogue? In your heart of hearts, you know it."
For a moment it looked as though Rogue would strike her. There was a ferocity in her eyes that promised pain – then she hung her head in momentary defeat. "But I ain't supposed to care 'bout nothing. I'm The Rogue. Scourge of The Guild of Assassins and feared in every land in Earth-Realm. I'm dirt. Less than dirt. I'm nobody. Nothing!"
"Does that mean you aren't allowed to feel?" Ororo challenged. "You must face facts, child. Just because your name has changed doesn't mean you're not the same person on the inside. You're still alive, which means you are a somebody, and so allowed to experience emotion just like anybody else. It's a basic right we're all privy to, and you're no exception, no matter how hard you try to convince yourself otherwise. The fact that you accepted your part as a soul-bearer speaks for itself on that front."
Rogue looked up at her, a curious expression worming around the periphery of her face. "But I couldn't exactly get away from that. Not with the prophecy and everything. Mah nightmares..."
"Yes, but you encouraged Kitty to see the light also. You acted like a leader."
Rogue looked like she was about to say something else, but instead she snapped her mouth shut and whirled round to savagely fling another knife into the doorframe. It missed by miles and instead hit the wall so high up it would probably never be fetched down again.
"Damn!"
Ororo found herself talking to the back of the girl's head, but persevered nonetheless. "Rogue, I can't tell you what to feel. That's something you must find out for yourself. But I'll tell you this much; you protected those two like they were your own against the Displacer Beast, and you could've easily just done nothing. You could've just walked away when it didn't know you were there, but instead you chose to help them. It was your decision, not fate, nor destiny, nor divine intervention. You. And that counts, whether you choose to acknowledge it or not. I won't bother you any further, since it's obvious you wish to be left alone, but I'd advise you to think on that."
She rose to go, and was halfway to the skewered door when a gruff voice rapped out, "You argue a good case, lady. I'll think about it."
Ororo didn't turn around. "I'll take that as a compliment."
"Yeah, you do that – daughter of Ajudan."
At once, Ororo froze. The blood in her veins turned to ice, and her voice, when used, was croaky and disbelieving. "How do you know who I am?"
She could hear the rustle of fabric as Rogue lifted her shoulders in a shrug. "Let's just say I remembered a few other things whilst I was asleep. Things from way back."
Slowly, Ororo turned to look at her. The mouth was curved, and the green eyes, though still confused by their own emotions, were dancing with the upper hand they held.
"It seems I ain't the only one with a mysterious past, don't it? You been lying to a lot of people, lady."
Ororo regarded her regally, as begot her heritage. "Not lying, exactly. Divine law meant I'm not allowed to tell them the truth. But, as you've found out, there are other ways of learning about my true identity. Or should I say, my old identity."
Rogue shook her head and let out a long breath. "I just don't get it. Y'all used to be so powerful, but you gave it all up in an instant to live in poxy old Earth-Realm."
A faint smile tugged at Ororo's lips. "Love makes a person do strange things – crazy things – as you well know."
"Yeah. Guess I do." Rogue's features became pensive as she considered the implications of that statement. "Guess I do, at that."
When no further comment seemed forthcoming, Ororo turned to go, but Rogue piped up again. It seemed that the dreams of her past had loosened her tongue in a way that nothing else could, and she was no longer the monosyllabic girl Kurt had wheedled and pleaded to join with in The Black Forest – though elements of that character remained.
"I'm gonna get him back, y'know. Mah mission to Belvedere's altered a bit, and I'll do what I can regarding Rei-Shima, but I still stand by what I said. I ain't leaving Pietro there. I damn well refuse to."
"You talk like he's still alive," Ororo inserted gently.
"That's because I refuse to believe he's dead unless I've seen proof for mahself. I'm not dumb. I know all the stories about what happens in Belvedere. I know how cruel The Silver Sword's reputation makes him out to be. But I ain't giving Pietro up for lost if there's still a chance he can be saved." Her voice dropped to a low murmur. "He woulda done the same for me."
"And what exactly do you plan to do if and when you retrieve him? Walk out of Belvedere? If The Silver Sword has a stake in this boy of yours – and he undoubtedly does if he's kept him alive this long – then he most certainly won't let him, or you, go free. And if Kurt and Kitty are with you, then most likely they'll suffer the same fate."
"They wouldn't," Rogue said flatly, "because I wouldn't let them come with me."
"You know you can't do that, Rogue. Both of them are important to the resurrection of Rei-Shima – you can't just leave them behind when you go to face The Silver Sword. Besides which, the Guild hunters will no doubt still pursue you even if you do escape. Is it worth also putting Pietro's life at risk, just to keep him near you? Or maybe..." she paused, considering, "maybe you intended to die beside him all along. Maybe you never had any intention of ever leaving Belvedere. Is that it, Rogue? Is this a suicide mission you've embarked upon?"
"Look," Rogue said wearily, "I'm aware of the repercussions mah course of action'll create, but y'all have to understand mah point of view here. You of all people, Ororo, know what it's like having someone you love – someone you'd give up anything, and do anything for. Pietro ... I'm not the most lyrical of people, but I couldn't get past each sunrise in one piece, not knowing if there was something I could've done for him if I'd just had the guts to try. I'll admit, I hadn't really thought about the whole 'afterwards' thing, but I guess I'll cross that there bridge when I come to it. I've done it before, and if needs be, I'll do it again, but I ain't going down without a fight, and I ain't going down without even trying to rescue him. For me, Earth-Realm just wouldn't be the same without him. He's mah north, mah south, mah east and mah west, all wrapped up into one, and I really would be a nobody if I abandoned him."
Ororo considered her for a moment. "I never had you pegged for a poet."
Rogue looked up at her sharply. "What? Why're you staring at me like that?" she demanded, a trace of her old savagery returning.
"I was just thinking about what an admirable quality your loyalty is. Tell me, what was your Guild title?" At Rogue's tight expression, she added, "Remember, you're still the same person inside. Nobody can take that, or your memories away from you. Not even the Guild of Assassins."
Another long pause. Then, "Steadfast. Marie the Steadfast."
Another barrier came crashing down with an almost audible smash. Ororo smiled triumphantly, and wasn't surprised when it was returned.
Kitty drew the currycomb along Bonita's side, straightened up and wiped her forehead with one pink sleeve.
"Phew. What a workout."
"Y'all said it, Miss Kitty." Sam walked through the door-less doorway with a trademark grin plastered across his face. He was dirty and sweaty, but seemed to exude an affable air nonetheless.
"Sam," Kitty greeted, then asked needlessly, "are you still here?"
"Last time Ah checked. Ah never leave 'till all the hosses are taken care of and put away properly fer the night." He walked into a small anteroom set behind a stray, upended bale of hay. With a grunt, he levered the saddle in his arms onto a high shelf and sighed with relief as his arms were freed of its considerable weight.
Thinking no more conversation was forthcoming, Kitty went back to grooming Bonita, focusing on the mare's dappled hide and brushing all the minuscule particles of dirt out of it. Presently, a bristly swishing told her that Sam had found the broom and was sweeping all the excess hay from the tack room.
"So where's yer fuzzy little friend?" Sam asked at length, voice neutral.
"Unfortunately for him, Underling Tabitha finished her chores early and came looking for him. She, like, totally insisted on getting some salve for his saddle sores – and rubbing it on him herself." Despite herself, Kitty giggled.
"Why do Ah get th' feelin' that's a bad thing?"
"Let's just say that Kurt doesn't exactly welcome Underling Tabitha's advances."
"Ya mean, he practically runs fer th' hills whenever she shows up."
Another giggle. "Pretty much."
"Boy, do Ah know what that feels like."
Kitty raised her head, turning to look at him. "She tried the same with you?"
"Yup. Little over a year ago now. Tabby landed in the temple around that time, and guess who got th' job of showin' her round? Damn girl was practically attached t'mah leg fer three months straight."
"So how come she gave up the chase if she was so, uh, attached to you?"
A wry grin split Sam's face. "We got a new batch of Changelings, one or two of whom were easier on th' eye than me. She ain't looked back since. Somethin' Ah'm eternally grateful fer."
Kitty laughed, a tinkling, musical sound.
Sam paused for a second. "Y'all gotta real pretty laugh," he said at length. Then he quickly went back to swiping the floor with smooth, even strokes.
Kitty blinked. "Thanks. I think."
Sam made an indistinguishable noise and continued sweeping.
Time passed, as it was wont to do. Eventually Kitty stood up, wiping perspiration from her eyes and absently patting Bonita's neck. She felt one or two vertebrae crack and shift back into position, and let out a sigh of relief as her muscles – cramped from a whole day on horseback – stretched and lengthened accordingly. After making sure the grey mare was properly fed and watered, she made her way to the stall entrance, swinging the door shut behind her.
On impulse, she pattered down a few stalls and peered in on Spider, who was casually munching on his feed. He looked the picture of innocence, like the prized pony of a soft merchant's daughter.
"That look fools a lotta people. Got it perfected, he has."
Kitty jumped and whirled around. "Sam! You startled me." He'd been so quiet she'd thought he had left while she was still grooming Bonita, and approached her on catfeet.
Sam looked guilty for a moment. "Sorry 'bout that. Didn't mean to scare ya none, Miss Kitty." His gaze shifted past her to the bay gelding. "Ah reckon Spider and Fuzzy are startin' to like each other. After a fashion. Now they both got over their differences, that is."
Kitty's ponytail bobbed up and down. "I know what you mean. I didn't think Kurt was, like, ever gonna forgive Spider for the whole dung incident, but they seemed to have worked things out by the end."
"Damn straight. Ah raised Spider since he were a foal, an' Ah done never seen 'im warm to nobody so fast as Fuzzy. Must be th' fur. Common ground an' all."
"And the tail. Though I don't think Kurt would agree with you right now. Normal saddles just aren't built to accommodate someone of his... um..."
"Unique shape?"
"Yeah. He swears he's pulled something. Kept going on about having a new bald spot on his butt until Underling Tabitha dragged him away. I'll bet he's, like, sorry he was so verbal about it now, but he was the one who wanted to try riding with a saddle, so he's only got himself to blame." She spread her hands wide to emphasize her point.
"People in glass houses, huh?"
"Exactly!"
Sam laughed and leaned backwards on the wall next to Spider's stall door. He folded his arms, staring off into space for a long second. Kitty could easily visualise a stalk of grass dangling from his mouth, though there was nothing there.
She went back to watching Spider, who stared back at her with a distinct 'and why exactly are you still staring at me?' expression in his unusually intelligent brown eyes.
She could have left – and probably should have – but something stopped her. Some intangible force that also made her lean over the edge of the stall door and call Spider over for an ear-scratch. She couldn't explain it, but after the turmoil of last night, the little respite of calm was much appreciated in order to gather her thoughts.
She still couldn't quite believe it. Ororo's story seemed s far-fetched, and yet...
Her father had always said his little 'Shadowcat' was destined for great things, but she'd never really believed him. After he and her mother died she'd consigned herself to living alone, with no hope of a brighter future, and his affectionate pseudo-prophecies had become even more remote. That is, until Rogue and Kurt quite literally dropped into her life.
Kurt...
Kitty had long since ceased to be frightened of the fuzzy blue elf, but the fear that had once permeated her being had been replaced with something else. Some strange, ambiguous emotion she couldn't quite discern properly. It was new to her, and consequently she mistrusted it. As a result, her thoughts about Kurt were rather jumbled, and lacked precision. Unlike with Rogue, where what you saw was what you got.
Or perhaps not, she mused. Rogue's got more skeletons in her closet than me and Kurt put together.
Kitty sighed. She'd been grudgingly aware of the strange bond between the three of them long before Ororo told them of Rei-Shima and Calorsiel's prophecy. Even so, the Temple Mother's information had knocked her for quite a loop. Despite outward appearances, it had taken many hours of lying in bed thinking things over to truly come to terms with their fate; their destiny.
She was so engrossed in her own thoughts that she failed to notice the hand until it alighted on her shoulder, making her jump.
"Miss Kitty - " Sam began tentatively, but instinctively Kitty had already spun round and backhanded his cheek. He stumbled backwards with a shocked expression.
Kitty gasped. "Oh gods, Sam, I'm so sorry!"
Sam clutched at his face where he could sense a new bruise starting up. "Uh..." He shook his head. "S'alright. Shoulda talked 'afore Ah touched. Man, you hit hard fer a girl."
It took three more apologies before Kitty was satisfied. "Here, let me have a look at that," she insisted. Against Sam's protests, she peeled his fingers away, inspecting the damage. Instantly her expression became guilty again. "That's gonna, like, totally leave a mark. I'm so sorry, I just didn't think."
"It don't matter. Ah'll tell people Ah was defendin' you from a wild beastie."
"I don't think Spider would appreciate being called a wild beastie."
At the sound of his name, Spider leaned over the stall door, watching the two humans with a detached, uninterested air, mouth moving rhythmically on his dry feed.
"No, that's a title more suited ta Wulf," Sam said.
Kitty's looked puzzled at the name. Her brows arched and her forehead wrinkled. "Wulf?"
Sam frowned, forehead a furrow in which you could plant potatoes. "Wildest damn hoss Ah ever did have th' displease t'meet," he replied soberly. "Now that's a real wild beastie." He looked down at her, face thoughtful. "Ah c'n, uh... I c'n show ya if'n ya like."
Kitty looked towards the door. The desire to go back inside the Temple was not strong, and her curiosity was aroused. "Sure," she shrugged, totally missing the pleased spark that flared in Sam's eyes. "Lead the way."
Sam led her down to the other end of the stables, out of a small side door and into another, rather removed and exceptionally sturdy building. There he paused, looking warily at the door. To the trained onlooker it would have been obvious that he was wondering about the rashness of his offer. "Don't often bring folks t'see Wulf. Mostly they be afeared of him – an' with good reason, too. Ain't seen a nastier beast in all mah days."
"Sounds dangerous."
"He is. But Ororo refuses t'get rid of him. Heart of gold, she has. But personally, Ah reckon she's wrong 'bout Wulf. That's how come he got his name - 'cause he's wild as a mountain-wolf an' twice as fierce. Ain't nobody Ah know ever bin able t'ride 'im, though he is broken in and used ta wearin' a saddle."
Kitty's forehead puckered. "Then how did he come to be here at the temple if he's so dangerous?"
"Hoss dealer passin' through sold 'im t'us along with Spider's mama. Man, Ah'm tellin' ya, he were a sorry specimen when he arrived. Her too. She were heavy with foal already, an' couldn't hardly stay standin' long enough t'give birth. That's why she died an' left Spider in mah hands so young. Wulf, on th' other hand, were a fighter to th' core. Kicked an' bucked 'is way clean into that there stall – wouldn't let nobody touch 'im fer days. Tried t'bite 'em if'n they did, an' took a fair few chunks outta folk 'afore he calmed down enough t'be cleaned up an' fed an' watered. Talk about bitin' th' hand that feeds ya!"
"But... he's all right now?"
"Heck no. Wulf'll still rip a chunk out ya if given th' chance. He jus' don't get so many chances no more. Save fer th' 'ssentials like food n' drink, ain't no more contact with th' dang beast. He even only gets let out into th' paddock when none of th'other hosses are round 'cause we be afeared of 'im hurtin' 'em."
Kitty gulped. "Perhaps we shouldn't look in on him then, if he's as wild as you say."
Sam's mouth twisted into a sardonic line. "Naw. He don't mind ya'll lookin'. It's jus' touchin' an' stuff he don't agree with. Shame really." He shook his head sadly. "Wulf's th' strongest, most powerful hoss in th'whole stable. Would've made a fine mount an' a great stud if'n he hadn't been mistreated so early on in life." He clicked his tongue. "Ah well. Let's take a gander, shall we?" He knocked the catch off the upper door and pressed both palms against it
"Sam, I'm not sure that's such a..." Kitty started to protest as it creaked open, but the words caught in her throat as she beheld the creature within. "... good idea."
Wulf was a huge stallion, giant by anyone's standards, and pitch black from nose to tail-tip. The raw energy in his muscles seemed to ooze off him as he turned his massive head to fix cold, intelligent eyes upon the two humans who dared to disturb his solitude. Even without initiating any aggressiveness there was a certain brutality to his gaze – the promise of belligerence. His eyes were hard as diamonds, and calculating – a far cry from either Bonita's gentle gaze or Spider's mischievousness. Even the sweep of Wulf's long eyelashes seemed imbued with a savageness long-since tamed out of ordinary horses.
Wulf was far from ordinary. Very far, even to the most untrained eye. He appeared like some hell beast of ancient legend; the fabled mount of the Angel of Death itself.
"Wulf," Sam proclaimed in an almost reverent whisper.
"He's beautiful," Kitty breathed, not taking her eyes off the magnificent stallion. In return, he regarded her only with apathy.
"Don't be fooled, princess. Wulf's as dangerous as they come, an' then some."
"He just seems so... perfect. I've never seen anything so gorgeous in all my life." She took a step forward and craned her neck to see more of the black horse. This was a loose box, with plenty of room to move, but still, he literally dominated the space. He had a commanding air, like the mount of a general or captain of the guard to some fine emperor. It was enthralling, intoxicating, but at the same time also deeply, deeply frightening.
Kitty blinked as the wooden door promptly swung shut in front of her.
"Ah have."
There was something in Sam's voice; something new and timid that hovered on the edge of his tone, waiting to be allowed in. Kitty noticed that his Adam's-apple was bobbling up and down nervously, and saw with curiosity the beads of sweat beginning to collect on the skin of his temples and fall like dewdrops into his hair. He looked a little peaky.
"Sam, are you, like, all right?"
"Yeah," he wheezed, not taking his eyes from her. They were standing very close, Kitty noted absently, and she had to virtually crane her neck back to meet his gaze.
A small knot manifested in the pit of her stomach, and, try as she might to quash it, it grew larger with every passing second that he stared at her, swirling and grinding against the wall of her gut.
Sam coughed uncertainly. "Uh, Miss Kitty, Ah... Ah ain't quite sure how t'say this but... but Ah... Aw dang, Ah think you're real pretty, an'... an' Ah was kinda hopin' that y'might be interested... what Ah mean t'say is, uh..."
Kitty reached out and touched his hand in what she hoped was a comforting manner. "What is it, Sam? What's wrong?" She looked down. "You're trembling! Are you coming down with a fever? Perhaps we should get you inside where it's warmer - "
"Naw, Miss Kitty. Ah'm plenty warm as it is." He swallowed, throat bouncing.
"But Teah can - "
He pressed a finger to her lips and made a shushing noise. The knot in Kitty's midriff tightened. It was joined by an inexplicable feeling of dread, which increased when Sam blushed at the contact.
They stayed that way for several moments, a vague breeze ruffling their hair, making the fluttering strands the sole movement between them. Sam's fingertips slipped slowly from Kitty's lips, trailing down to be joined by his other hand in cupping her face. Her pulse, quick and erratic, beat beneath her skin, denoting the life-vein encased within the soft flesh of her throat.
Gently, he leaned forward, head tilted slightly and with half-lidded eyes. Kitty felt his breath blow softly into her mouth as he drew closer, and found herself involuntarily tipping her neck the other way to better accommodate his advance.
His hands' touch was warm, but somehow there was something wrong with it. It was too smooth, yet not silky enough. Her flesh ached for a touch of a different sort. The touch of ticklish velveteen, brushing her skin so lightly and delicately as to be mistaken for a butterfly's whisper. It craved after the feeling of downy fur, and she found herself longing to know whether lips could be furry...
Sam was so close as to see the creases in Kitty's lip-flesh when she abruptly pulled away, averting her gaze and muttering something inaudible.
"Miss Kitty?"
"I'm sorry, Sam." She pushed his hands away, and they dropped to his sides. "I truly am, but... but I can't..."
Sam wasn't stupid. He recognised her reaction, and cursed himself in several different languages for his lack of insight. Self-consciously, he also bowed his head. "Y'all belong to another," he said flatly.
"Not exactly."
He held up his hands. "S'alright, princess. Ah should've guessed a gal as pretty as you would already be taken." A wry smile crept across his unkissed lips. "Guess Ah should apologise t'ya now. Ah'm sorry. Ah didn't think. Suppose Ah just hoped... whut with th' way ya kept lookin' at me an' all... Ah mean, Ah'm not exactly well-versed in courtship, but -" He stopped when Kitty's shoulders began to shake. "Miss Kitty?"
No answer save for a muffled sob.
Sam reached out and gently tilted her chin upwards. Kitty gazed back at him, unshed tears making her eyes bright and giving them an ethereal, almost otherworldly quality.
"Miss Kitty, what's th' matter? You ailin' fer sumthin'?"
"No, it's just..." Kitty sniffed. "I'm sorry Sam, I didn't realise I was leading you on. I feel awful."
Sam's eyes narrowed. "Why do Ah get th' feelin' y'ain't cryin' 'cause of me? Come on, missy, spill it. What's up? What's really th' matter?"
"Nothing - "
"Don't patronize me, pumpkin. Ah want th' truth. Why're you cryin'? Is it 'cause of this guy yer taken with?"
She sniffed again, wishing she had a hankie or something to make herself more feminine, instead of snorting and snotting all over the place. "Yes... and no. It... it is about this... this person, but we aren't... I'm not with him, exactly..."
"An therein lies th' problem, right?" Sam surmised. He put a friendly, painfully platonic arm about her shoulders. "Wanna talk to 'ole Sam 'bout it? P'raps Ah c'n help."
"That's really kind, but I, like, doubt it. This guy, he's involved with... he's taken with someone else."
"But ya like 'im anyways. That what hurts so much?"
"Yeah," Kitty sighed.
"An' there was me thinkin' complicated love triangles were jus' part of romance scrolls."
"It's not love. I don't think. Well, maybe. I'd like to know, but I want him to be happy, I really do. I just wish he could be happy with me instead of Jubilee."
At the sound of his friend's name, Sam goggled. "Wait a gosh darn second, did you jus' say Jubilee?" He sounded incredulous. As far as he was aware, Jubilee didn't have any romance in her life at present. He also knew that, if any were to appear, he and Rahne would be the first to know, since Jubes wouldn't be able to keep her crowing to herself for long. No doubt her two friends would be sick of the news long before anybody else found out about it.
Kitty looked at the ground and scuffed her foot. "Uh-huh. She and Kurt are - "
"Whoa there, princess." Sam blinked again, first in confusion, and then in final realisation of what Kitty was getting at. "Am Ah right in believin' that these unrequited affections o'yours are fer the fuzz-ball?"
Kitty's voice came out a subdued whisper. "Yes. But he doesn't even know about it. He's too smitten with Jubilee to notice how I feel. They're practically inseparable. And who could blame him for liking her? I mean, it's not like she ran screaming when she first met him."
Sam shook his head and pulled her sideways towards a spare hay bale near the doorway back into the main stables. "C'mon pumpkin, Ah'm thinkin' you need t'sit down fer a minute."
Sam sat awkwardly, like a heron trying out a sparrow's perch, but made the best of it as he tried to comfort Kitty and understand exactly what was going on. Several idle chats with both Jubilee and Rahne had gleaned a little information as to Kurt's romantic interests, as well as a few death-threats if he spilled said information to Kitty. 'Letting nature take its course', those two girls had called it, to which Sam had rolled his eyes and muttered something along the lines of 'women and their flights of fancy', and then promptly been chased out of the room. At the time he hadn't told them it was only because of his own interest in Kitty that he was keeping their secrets, but now he was seriously revising his thoughts on the situation given what the Kitty herself had just told him.
Man, has she got it wrong. Ah know love is blind an' everythin', but couplin' Fuzzy with Jubes? I'd laugh if she didn't look so damn sad 'bout the idea. "Now, tell me Miss Kitty, what makes ya think Fuzzy and Little Miss Firecracker are an item?"
"Just look at them! They're practically joined at the hip! Kurt used to be just my friend - well, mine and Rogue's. But as soon as we got here she laid claim to him."
"Ah think you're overreactin' a bit there, missy. As far as Ah c'n see, most of th' time you're along with the two of them wherever they go, an' in whatever they do. When do they ever get the chance t'be romantic?"
Kitty bit her lip. "Well... I don't know, but they must do. They're so close. If you just look at them, it's as plain as the nose on my face."
"What's his favourite colour?"
"Huh? What's that got to do with anything?" She looked up at him, puzzled, but Sam remained serious.
"Jus' answer th' question, princess. Whut's Fuzzy's favourite colour?"
Still bemused, Kitty answered without hesitation. "Strangely enough, white – though blue comes a close second."
"Favourite food?"
"Well, he loved dripping after he tried it in Zanninsa, but mushrooms go down pretty well, too."
"What's he most scared of?"
"Mountain lions. Why?"
"Miss Kitty, Ah known Jubes since forever, it seems, an' Ah know fer a fact that she don't know anything like that 'bout the fuzz-ball. Believe me, if'n she did, Ah'd know. That gal couldn't keep her mouth shut if there were a ban on talkin' in Earth-Realm."
"I don't get where you're going with this, Sam. Care to enlighten me?"
Sam sighed. "Look, Miss Kitty, Ah think Ah c'n say with perfect certainty that Jubilee is not romantically involved with th' elf, no matter what y'all think different 'bout th' matter."
"Don't be dense. She must be. Haven't you seen them together? Haven't you seen how close he gets to her, and how friendly he is?" The word had extra special emphasis.
"Maybe he's jus' a friendly kinda guy," Sam shrugged, and then looked at her with shrewd eyes. "Or maybe he's tryin' t'make ya jealous."
"Jealous? Me?" Kitty stuck out her tongue, showing what she thought of the idea. "Why would he do something like that?"
"Probably fer th' same reason Ah tried t'kiss ya jus' now," Sam said with a small smile.
Kitty took a breath to say something, but stopped short, letting the air in her lungs trickle through the tiny 'o' her mouth had become. She stared off into space, mind working busily and emotions warring behind her eyes. Sam's words sank into her like a stone tossed into a tar pit, and she struggled to come to grips with the idea he'd implanted. After all, she'd been so sure...
Kurt, were you trying to make me jealous because of Sam? Is that why I feel so mixed up inside when I think about you? Or was I trying to make you jealous because of Jubilee? Have I been using Sam? I didn't realize if I was – but then, I must've done, otherwise why would I think it now? Ugh, I'm so confused.
Sam watched her, and then stood up, brushing wayward bits of straw and dirt from his already filthy robes. He gave a long sigh. "It's nearly dinner time. No point in tryin' to understand stuff on an empty stomach." He offered her a hand, which she stared at for several blank seconds.
"Sam, tell me truthfully – do you think Kurt likes me?"
"Ah know he likes ya, Miss Kitty. Otherwise he wouldn't've invited ya t'join him an' Rogue on their journey."
"No, I mean likes me likes me. That way."
"T'ain't mah place t'say, Miss Kitty, but Ah'll tell ya this," his smile hurt, "he's a dang fool if'n he don't."
Kitty gazed up at him, expression unreadable. Then a smile quirked the corners of her mouth, and she grasped the proffered hand. "Thanks, Sam. Thanks a lot."
"Aw shucks, Miss Kitty. T'weren't nuthin'."
To Be Continued...
Germanic Translations:
Ich lehne ab! Es ist gefährlich! Ich werde nicht es tun! – I refuse! It's dangerous! I will not do it!
Gestörtes Mädchen – Annoyed Girl
Ich verstehe – I understand