F/O:- Hello! cough This is as a result of me being rather ill at the moment (bad cold that kept me off school), so you lucky critters get another post-episode episode with cute li'l Rax. Don't you just love that little pussy cat? Or you will after this, I can practically guarantee.
Beta'ed by the lovely and amazing EbonyBeach, who's been exceedingly busy as of late, but still she read this!
Oh and eventually there will be at least one more of these (I have plans for Jack's return...). Angstier than the others, but with bloody good reason.
Hope you guys like it.
(Oh and I'm reaquainting myself with another of my obsessions - Sherlock Holmes - so there may be a delay in other chapters, but I'm trying as hard as I can to ignore the plot-Holmeses.
Post PotW, but if you haven't seen it by now, you must be insane or really unlucky. Oh, and the bacon comment is a thing I made up and had in 'R and R'. shrugs I can just imagine 9 loving bacon butties, and then 10 not.
Getting To Know You Again.
Or,
Bacon.
Rose sat in her room, the Doctor's discarded leather jacket slung over her legs, her hands stroking the battered worn material as if it were the finest silk. Tears still streaked her face, but she didn't feel them anymore, she didn't feel anything beyond shock and pain. Hugging the tough material closer to her that was the only remnant left of her Doctor, she breathed in his scent, feeling her heart and throat hitch at the familiarity.
Closing her eyes, she tried to breathe calmly, despite the sobs that rose in her throat. He was gone, gone forever, and he wasn't coming back. His grin, his piercing blue eyes, his stupid Northern accent, his daft ears…
She wasn't sure if it was a good or bad thing, the regeneration. To her, he was a completely different person, a stranger wearing his name and his clothes and his grin. Foolishly, she had an insane urge to yell at him; scream at this man who dared take his name, dare take his clothes, dare take his grin, dare take her Doctor. But that was insane. He was the same man, wasn't he?
Confused, she buried her face in the leather, and didn't look up until she felt something walk across the covers at her. Looking up, she was slightly startled to see Rax approach cautiously, unused to his mistress' distress.
"C'me 'ere." She said thickly, reaching out and gently pulling the animal closer to her. Holding him in her arms, feeling his soft warm fur against her skin reminded her of all the times she, Rax, Jack and the Doctor had been together, and she sobbed harder, stroking his fur.
Jack was gone too, according to the Doctor.
"Oh Rose, it was too late. I'm so sorry. I-I'm afraid he didn't make it."
Jack, with his corny accent and corny stories, his omni-sexuality, his friendliness and cheerfulness in even the worst situations. The big brother she had never had, but sparing most of the arguments. But with the past he didn't know and a million lives he'd left behind still speaking in his manner sometimes, when he was up late or in a pensive mood. Almost like the Doctor in that manner.
The Doctor.
Her mind threw up a mental image of the three of them in Cardiff.
"Off we go!"
"Into time –"
"And SPACE!"
Huge grins on their faces, ecstatic with excitement over their adventures and each other. A moment lost forever.
Rose was again disturbed from her thoughts when Rax started purring below her, his whole form vibrating underneath her fingers. Smiling weakly, she looked at the cat reflectively.
"Poor Rax. Little Raxacoricofallapatorious." Another pang as she remembered saying that word for the first time, throwing herself into the Doctor's arms.
Rax purred, and looked up at her with intelligent eyes. He sniffed the jacket sleeve, and licked it experimentally. At his expression, her weak smile returned. Fondling his head and ears, she scratched the soft skin, knowing his weakness.
"He's gone, Rax. They're both gone." She sighed, still sounding watery. "What are we going to do?" Rax responded by rubbing his head against her arm comfortingly.
"I just can't believe they're gone." She whispered to herself. Rax licked her hand once, then wriggled out of her grip and jumped gracefully off of the bed, threading his way out of the door. Rose watched him go, puzzled, but then snuggled deeper into the jacket, brushing away her tears, only to feel more take their places.
Running a hand through his strangely long hair, the Doctor tossed his outer jacket over a chair and perched on the side of a table, noting that his legs dangled slightly off of the edge. He'd lost a few inches as well, it appeared.
He rubbed a hand over his unfamiliar face, feeling tired and energetic at the same time. The energy was a side effect of the regeneration he remembered. The tiredness was emotional and mental as he sorted through a long list of memories and emotions that seemed detached from him. Well, other than that they belonged to a different person that was.
Rose probably wasn't taking it very well, he mused, his mood low. But then, in her situation, would he? He doubted it, but then he couldn't be sure. He wouldn't be sure of anything for a few days, until the regeneration had worn in a bit, and all of his memories were in the right place.
He looked up as a loud mew caught his attention. A black cat was stood in the doorway, and he frowned for a split second before a vivid memory snatched his attention. Rose.
"Well? Look at his cute little paws. And that expression!"
"Right then. Nice to meet you, Raxacoricofallapatorious." Rose's face falling.
Rax. Rose hadn't been able to say Raxacoricofallapatorious, (not surprising really, it had taken him a few tries), so she'd shortened it.
Sliding off the table, he walked to the door and crouched to get nearer the floor.
"Hello." The cat half stepped back, an unsure look on its' features.
"It's alright, it's still me." He continued. 'Try telling Rose that.' He thought to himself morosely. Moving forwards a hand, he held it close to the creature's nose, and Rax sniffed.
Familiar. Doctor. But not. Not-Doctor.
Confused, Rax walked forwards carefully, and licked the skin.
Familiar, Doctor. Doctor not look like Doctor.
"Mrrrow!" Rax wailed. Despite himself, the Doctor grinned.
"It's alright, you poor thing. I bet I've got you all confused." Reaching out, he carefully lifted the animal, bringing him up to his face.
"It's me. Doctor." He directed mentally, fixing Rax' gaze. The cat cocked it's head, and reached out to lick his nose in response. Grinning, the Doctor held the soft animal to his jacket and scratched his tummy.
"At least I've won one of you over." He sighed, and Rax purred. Then, after licking the nearest available bit of skin, he squirmed and leapt out of the Doctor's hands, and made for the door. Frowning, the Doctor followed, and up ahead, Rax purred to himself in pleasure. Finally!
Predictably, Rax stopped outside Rose's partially open door, and sat down firmly, his tail flicking out to trace the air behind him.
"I can't go in there!" the Doctor hissed, trying not to advertise his presence. Rax just stared at him.
"What would I say?"
Still Rax stared.
"But she just needs some time, to get used to it. There's nothing I can do." He whispered, unsure as to why he was continuing a pointless monologue with a cat.
"Mwrow." Rax replied, stretching his jaws open in a yawn.
"You're right." The Doctor sighed, raising his hand to knock. Softly hitting his knuckles against the door, he forced himself to remain calm, and pushed it open gently.
Rose looked up at the knock, and tensed as his face appeared around the door.
"Can I come in?"
"Yeah, sure." She replied quickly, dashing away her tears and trying to make herself look presentable. He nodded and entered, moving to sit down on the edge of her bed. There was a short silence.
"How do you feel?"
"I'm OK." Rose lied, not meeting his gaze.
"Mmm."
"And you? Everything, um, how it's supposed to be?"
"As well as can be expected. Regeneration's a bit haphazard on the memory, so we won't be going anywhere for a while." Rose nodded.
There was another uncomfortable silence, which was broken by Rax slinking his way around the door. He decisively made his way over, leapt up onto the bed and meowed loudly, butting his head against each of them in turn. Rose reached out absently to scratch his ears, and he looked up at her, turning his head so that he could lick her hand. Then, moving back, he went over to the Doctor's hand as the two looked on, confused, and licked his hand.
"Mrowr." he stated, with a look on his face that rather plainly said they were being stupid and should get over it quickly.
"He still knows you then." Rose said quietly. The Doctor nodded, still unsure of himself. "He thinks I'm being stupid." She looked up, a strange expression in here eyes. "And maybe I am."
"Rose, no-one could blame you for anything at the moment." The Doctor started, but she shook her head.
"I lost my father and that hurt. Then you die. But you haven't." she mused aloud, trying to sort out her emotions. The Doctor remained silent, not sure what he could say.
"Just how different are you?" she asked abruptly.
"Well," he started, thinking. "It's hard to explain. I look different, obviously." He grinned sadly to himself. "I sound different, but that's not what you mean, is it? I'm still the person who dragged you out of Henricks. Just without the ears." He joked lamely.
"So you're still the same, like, deep down. Same memories and stuff."
"Pretty much, though I have to admit, I don't like bacon any more."
"Bacon." She said blankly. "So let me get this straight, you look different, you sound different, you don't like bacon, but you're still you."
"Yeah, sort of." He replied before he could think. She froze momentarily, but then looked at him piercingly, before throwing her arms around him. Taken aback, the Doctor could only wrap his arms around her while she tightened her grip.
"I'm still here." He said quietly, rubbing her back comfortingly. "I'm so sorry."
"Why? It's not your fault." Rose replied, pulling back to study his expression.
"I don't know, I should have done something."
"I looked into the TARDIS to save my Doctor." She said as steadily as she could manage. "I took the entire space-time vortex in my head, and I saved you. I'm the one who should be sorry, for killing you."
"It was my decision to make, Rose. I didn't want you dead. I'm just sorry you couldn't save him."
"You don't get it, do you?" Rose said, smiling gently even as tears sprung to her eyes. "I did it to save you. And it worked. You're still alive, my Doctor." She pressed her head against the unfamiliar jacket, missing Rax wind his way out of the room, a decidedly smug expression on his features.