DISCLAIMER: I did not own Harry Potter at the beginning of this story, I do not own Harry Potter now, nor will I EVER own Harry Potter. That said, on with the story….

A/N: This chapter is a sort of catch up on what Hermione has been through after she came back. It's what she is thinking the morning after the meeting with Sirius about her life. Okay, I probably just confused you more so I'm gonna shut up now.

Chapter 7

After leaving the Black House, Hermione had drove around London for hours, afraid of going home and not having anything to distract her from her thoughts. Sirina slept peacefully in the backseat during the ride, not knowing what just conspired back at the house where she had met so many people. She also slept peacefully without the knowledge that she just met her father.

Hermione slept little that night, tossing and turning in the bed and listening to every little sound in her home. Each time that she had fallen asleep, she was plagued by dreams of her and Sirius and their time together until fate separated them. She eventually cried herself into a deep sleep in the wee hours of the morning.

Now she cursed the sun as the rays shined through her windows directly into her eyes. It was times like these that she hated that she often liked to wake up to the warm feel of the sun on her in the morning. Most of the time that made her bright and cheery, but today it only made her angry. (A/N: Hmmm….sounds like me in the mornings, only I hate the sun EVERY morning)

Hermione threw the comforter over her head, trying to block out the bright light that now seemed to fill every inch of her room. She could feel the trace of dried tears on her cheek, reminding her of yesterday's events and last night's restlessness. Every single memory flooded back to her, bringing on a new wave of tears that she fought back, knowing that once the first one fell she would not be able to stop them.

Now, at a time like this, was when all she wanted was the feel Sirius' arms wrapped around her, holding her as if he was afraid of letting her go, and whispering reassurances in her ear. She wanted his comfort, his security, his…love. Yes, she wanted him and wanted to be with him, but there were other matters that stopped her.

She hadn't been lying to Sirius when she said she almost died when she lost him. After she came back and after graduation, she ran away from every single memory there was of him, even Harry held memories and she could not bare to face him. She locked herself away from the world, away from people, that is until she found out that she was pregnant.

With the knowledge of her pregnancy, Hermione knew that she couldn't continue to run away from her problems forever or from people for that matter. She was going to have to get a job to provide for this little miracle, the last gift Sirius had given her. She wanted to give this baby the best life she could give it, and she did.

Hermione became one of the top people at the bookstore she worked at; she even owned part of it. She also became highly interested in children's books art work and with the help of her boss and a few coworkers, she became a sought after artist for children's books. That brought in extra money for her and allowed her to purchase things for her baby that she would never had been able to purchase before.

Since her parents had been killed during the war while she was gone, Hermione was left with her old home. Not wanting to live there because she felt guilty for being gone when they were killed, Hermione had sold the house, earning a fair amount for it. She also got rid of it because it was so far away from her job. She didn't want the hassle of a long drive to work while she was pregnant.

But after she had Sirina, her days were non-stop from the time she woke up till well into the wee hours of the morning. Sirina was a good baby though, only waking up about once a night and going to sleep very easily. Hermione had little trouble with her and the baby sitter she had hired adored Sirina. So Hermione had risen fast in the business world and was able to provide Sirina with the best things a mother could give…all except one thing that is: a father's love.

She had thought that maybe she could get by one that one little detail, hoping that she was enough for her daughter. She knew in her heart that she would never love another man so she did not waste her time developing false illusions of a happy family with two parents. Nope, it would just be her and Sirina.

But now Sirius was back, the one person that Hermione once dreamed of having a family with and sharing her life with. He was the one person that held the key to her heart and had the ability to make her weak at the knees. And he was willing, willing to be there for her and love her again, willing to stand by her, willing to start a family with her and Sirina. And she…she was denying him.

Many times through the night she had asked herself, why? Why was she turning him away? Why was she not trusting their love? Why was she running? And she always came up with the same answer: she was scared.

Now, Hermione Granger seldom admitted being scared of anything. But this was the one thing that she could not deny being scared over. Truth be told, it scared the living daylights out of her.

Sirius brought on feelings in Hermione that she was scared of. She never had them before she met him and never thought she would find them. True, she always had dreamed of finding the perfect man but she never considered that she would, she always thought she wasn't beautiful enough to find her prince charming. But she had, but why he would want to be with her baffled her.

But he had loved her and her him, and then fate and time separated them. She was devastated at first, until she found out that she was pregnant and then slowly, very slowly that is, started to come to terms with his death. He would never be back, she reasoned with herself, never would he be there to see his daughter grow up into a beautiful young woman that would break so many hearts just like her daddy. But then, on the day she finally came back and decided to go face her past, he showed up.

Not meaning that it was a bad thing, not at all. This was one of the greatest miracles she had ever experienced. Sirius was back and he still loved her and was willing to be the father of the baby he had never known of until last night.

But again, she was scared. What if he suddenly disappeared again? Or what if he decided that he didn't love her after all? There were so many what ifs that she couldn't help but doubt. She wanted to be with him, she was just….scared.

A cry from the next room, announcing a hungry and freshly awoken Sirina, brought Hermione out of her deep thoughts. With a muffled groan into her pillow, she slowly shifted the covers and rose to face a new day. She knew she owed Sirius some more explanations and she would give them to him…it was only fair after all.

!And since I'm in a good mood, I'll give you guys some more!

Sirius woke up with her vision burned into his mind. He had not stopped thinking about her all night. She had plagued every thought and every dream of his last night and he slept very little. He couldn't get her word out of his head. All he kept hearing was, "I lost you once and almost died Sirius. I don't think I could lose you again" over and over again in his mind. They broke his heart but also explained her actions…a little.

He was still a little resentful that she would deny him his right as a parent. There was no way in heaven or hell that she could deny that Sirina was his daughter. She was even named after him for Merlin's sake! Well…he thought so at least. He knew how much she detested what she called "normal, every day" names. She had always told him how she fancied unique, but still conventional names like Ashlynn (A/N: One of my names for my future kid : ) ).

It felt so good, though, just to see her and know that she was alright. When he had first come back and not seen her with the others, he was worried. Maybe worried was an understatement, he was terrified almost to death, again, that something happened to her and it was all his fault for not insisting on her staying with him. But Harry tried to reassure him that she had moved away, which had only worried him further. He knew how close they, the Golden Trio, were and that only something big could separate them. What broke up the Trio?

But now was not the time to worry about that. Now was the time to worry about how he was going to gain the trust of Hermione yet again and convince her to come back to him. He didn't know if he could live without her, not with her now knowing what they shared and them having a kid together. He wanted her, he wanted his daughter, he wanted a family.

With a similar moan that Hermione gave earlier that morning a little ways away, Sirius rolled out of bed and shuffled around to locate a pair of clean pants. Considering the messy state of his room, this was NOT an easy task. After finding his goal, he slipped them on and headed downstairs, shirtless I might add, looking for his godson and the only one who knew the complete truth behind the whole "Sirius, Hermione" relationship.

Harry was already sitting at the breakfast table, alone, when Sirius arrived in the kitchen.

"Good morning," Harry greeted, not looking up from the Daily Prophet to greet Sirius.

"Yeah, to you too," Sirius returned gruffly. "How did you sleep?"

"Good," Harry said, smiling up at his godfather who looked a little worse for wear. "You?"

"Like hell."

"You look it too."

Sirius glared at him before grabbing two muffins and an apple and sitting in a vacant chair across from Harry. "So…I kind of wanted to talk to you."

"About Hermione," Harry stated.

"Yeah." Sirius hesitated, not really knowing how he wanted to ask his question but he needed to know. "Um…"

"Come on Sirius, if you don't spit it out soon everyone else is going to be down here and then you're going to have to wait till later today when we have some time."

"Well, do you know why Hermione left?"

Harry stared at his godfather. Of course he knew the answer, but he didn't think it was his place to tell. So, he did what he does best: he played dumb. "Last night? You were the last one to talk to her. Did she not tell you goodbye? She didn't say anything to me. She just got Sirina, said goodbye and left. Don't you know the reason?"

Sirius glared. "You know very well that I was not talking about last night so why don't you stop avoiding the question and answer me."

Harry sighed. "It's not my place to tell."

"Why the hell not!"

"If you want to know, ask her. If she wants you to know, she will tell you. She left for reasons that only she can explain."

At seeing Sirius' look of sadness, Harry felt compelled to continue. "I will tell you this though. When she came back, she told me what all happened. I never once judged her for it, just like I'm not judging you two now. I tried to help her but I guess there was just some part of her that gave up. I still think there is a part of her that died when she came back, but I also think that you are the key to bringing her back."

Sirius nodded and took a bit of his muffin, deep in thought. "She isn't the same," he commented off handily.

Harry smiled sheepishly. "You noticed too huh?"

"I couldn't help but notice. She isn't the same Hermione I remember. Before I went through the veil in your 5th year, she was so…so fiery and compassionate. She never once wavered on her stand beside you, not even when her life depended upon it. Now, she would still be that way but she doesn't have the same fire that she used to have."

"Maybe you can relight that fire," Harry suggested softly.

"I love her," Sirius stated softly.

"I know, your eyes give you away."

Sirius grinned. "I wonder what Molly is going to say when she finds out who Sirina's father really is."

Harry couldn't help but grin back. "Something along the lines of 'Sirius Black! I have never known a more irresponsible man! What were you thinking getting a seventeen year old pregnant? I can not believe you were that stupid!'"

"Wow, that was good."

"What was good?" A voice asked from the doorway.

Both men turned to find none other than Molly Weasley staring down at them.

A/N: Whew! I worked my butt off to get this typed. I've had very little time since I now have practice :damn band director: every day this freaking week! And most of next week too. So, I apologize in advance if my updates are a little slower than normal. My leg is currently propped up…I think I pulled a muscle. It hurts like a bitch but it will get better soon. It's not the worse thing I've been through.

Question: what is a beta? I keep seeing it on some of the stories where people have beta's, talking about other people. What are they? I'm a bit clueless on some of the abbreviations on here, sorry.

GOOD NEWS!

1. There is only, at my school, 23 more days left of school!

2. My birthday is in exactly ONE month : June 3rd : I don't have to go to school that day either which makes it even better.

3. Prom is next week :May 14th: still have no date but we're going bowling before prom so that ought to be interesting….Bowling in Prom Dresses. Only West Virginian hicks are stupid enough to do that one.

4. There is a rodeo this weekend at Gassaway for any of you WV out there. Admission is $10.00. Come watch Midget Boy take on the bulls! I'll be rooting for you Scotty!

5. And Finally…with the end of school brings the end of my junior year meaning… I WILL BE A SENIOR NEXT YEAR!

Sorry, I'm just really happy.

You guys probably don't care about my good news but I just had to get it out of my system. I think this is my longest chapter yet and probably the most boring of them all. But thanks for reading. Love ya guys and thanks for reviewing!

Oh yeah, please be thinking about me Thursday as I take a 4 hr. test on AP 12 English/Literature. I think I might be considering suicide before the end of it.

Thanks for reading and Please Review,

!Amaya!