AN: So I like to think I can write. I hope you enjoy this Mia's Struggle with heartache and Clarisse only wants to make it better. Please RR

Mia sat in her room with her head in her hands, letting the tears silently fall.

Sitting deep in thought, letting the tears freely fall, Damn that being one thing her husband had taught her to do. What had gotten into her? She was romping about the palace acting like a hormonal teenager. She was 21 for heaven sake. Now she had already proved to Clarisse to be ready for this by what she did on her wedding day with the parliament members. "I thought she was happy for me… For us" she said aloud. No aware of her husband entering the room.

"What was that dear?" Joseph came walking in and moved to her side kissing her on her head.

"Oh nothing." Putting down her pen and wandering over to that all too familiar 'I'm upset and want to think window.'

"Clarisse… I was you bodyguard for 35 years and now I'm your husband. I know something is wrong! Would you care to tell me so I can be a good husband and help?"

Coming up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders and began to rub them. They spent the next several minutes in silence; Joe could feel her begin to relax. She shifted her weight and leaned back against him.

"Joe she is mad at me... and I'm not sure why but it seems to be about us!"

"Mia?"

"Yes who else"

"Why would she be mad about us now?"

" I Don't know we were going through documents and then she asked me about us and romance and then. I told her that we could talk about it later... She got mad and then we argued and I told her she was acting immature and there are more important things and then she yelled at me saying I was still cold and could distance myself still from even her. Then she stormed off"

"Clarisse dear she is going through a few things at the moment"

"Yes Joseph I know she is but I'm here for her I want her to know that."

"No Clarisse she needs you not the former Queen. Mia was about to marry a man she did not love about a month ago and she had already found love."

"What... Joseph I don't understand"

"Well Clarisse while you and she were very busy planning her wedding to Andrew she was falling for another man."

"What you mean... Nicholas?"

"Yes and after he left the cathedral he was not heard from since only but once on Mia's Coronation day and then he was gone again. I knew he was a good young man and probably perfect for her."

"What?"

Clarisse turned around looking into Josephs eyes

"How did you know that?"

"Clarisse my dear I made it my job and now nearly a month later she is getting into her new position as Queen and she is heart broken. It's killing me so I've been trying to find him, but he seems to be un-locatable. Even for me, The life seems to be slipping from her."

"Oh Joseph am I pushing her too hard again?"

"No Clarisse. But I think you should go talk to her."

"Alright that's what I need to do."

Clarisse loosened her self from Joseph's arms and headed for the door but stopped, realizing she did not know where to even begin to look for her

"She is in her room love."

"Thank you Joseph."

Quickening her pace into and almost run Charlotte entered the Queens office, with a grin that could rival the grand canyon it was so big.

"Sir I found him." She beamed

"Charlotte that's great! Where is he?"

"He is staying in a small cabin outside of Mertz."

"Good. I'll go get him now."

Joe got up and head for the car garage mean while Clarisse had made it to Mia's suite and was now standing out side the door. Ringing her hands, was she actually nervous? No this is Mia, but she… oh…

"What am I supposed to say to her?"

She knocked on the door softly and waited for an answer to come, after feeling what she thought was being patient and no answer, she walked in to find the room empty. The only other door in the room that was closed was the bathroom door. She walked over to it seeing that it was slightly open she knocked while calling out.

"Mia"

"This is ridiculous it was just and argument she cant be that mad at me." Clarisse pushed open the door after Mia had not answered.

"Oh my… Mia!"

Plunging her arms into the icy cold water Clarisse pulled Mia out onto the carpeted floor.

"Ahhh Mia please wake up? I'm so sorry!"

Mia was lying limp and unconscious on the floor with Clarisse's arms around her. Something inside her snapped. What she remembered with her first encounter, Pierre when he was 2 had swallowed a coin she turned him over and pushed his back. Clearing his air way. Quickly struggling to get Mia onto her stomach, pounding on her back, Mia began to cough up water bringing up so much that it scared her even more, 'how much had she taken in?'

"Oh Mia if you die on me I will never forgive you now wake up"

Mia moaned coughing up more water "Nick?"

"No Mia its me Grandma" Clarisse was sobbing uncontrollably, She and Mia where now soaked.

"Mia my dear, Mia what has happened betweens us that would make you consider taking your life?"

"What? What makes you think that?"

Mia was shivering Clarisse was only covering a small portion of her naked body.

"Mia you were blue when I pulled you out of the bathtub and you weren't breathing."

"Fell asleep then! I was just taking a bath thinking about…"

Suddenly pulled herself form her grandmothers grasp, got up and pulled on her robe and left the bathroom leaving Clarisse puzzled and on the floor still.

"Mia" finally mustering the energy to get off the floor and walk into Mia's bedchamber.

"Mia what has happened between us? Why now are you mad about Joseph and I? Why did you not tell me you loved Nicholas?"

"Mia please speak to me" sitting down next to her she bagan to run a hand up and down Mia's back trying to comfort her.

"Grandma I can't you wouldn't understand."

"Mia if this is about you being in love with Nicholas… I think he is a fine young man and would openly accept him…"

"Please stop…"

"Mia no we need to talk..."

"NO… He doesn't love me!"

"Oh" she said slightly taken back

"I can't do this. I can't get up each morning and let my life be run by people who don't care whether I'm heart broken over a man I love so much and cannot have… I can't find a companion to help me and I will grow old and bitter being Queen. I can't give anymore I feel like I have lost so much already. I never knew my father and for fifteen years never knew you now I'm queen and I'm twenty-one for hell's sake! I feel awful inside because secretly I hate you for finding true love and being able to have it! I hate my self for it too."

"Amelia"

"What?"

" I love you and I'm sorry I pushed you like this. I shouldn't have. (Clarisse was crying once again) I love you so much and I want you to know that there was not a day when I wanted to be with you when you were younger, I wanted to know my granddaughter to hold you, and spoil you, and it broke my heart and your fathers. But Mia we have each other now. You can relinquish your title if you feel you cannot do this. Mia you don't have to. I grew up in this and you don't have to. All I want is for you to be happy. Find love."

Clarisse move further onto the bed lying down next to Mia she pulled her into a hug and Mia responded to it by moving closer and the two held in the warm embrace of each other and both cried.