Chapter 4 Do you still love me?
The night I confessed Kai let me hold him. I lay there arms around his waist and didn't sleep a wink. He was empty, I loved him and he was empty.
How could that be?
How could he taste of so much passion when there was nothing inside?
I lay and thought and listened to Kai breathe.
The next day Kai eyed me with warily as if at any moment I would jump at him and force my love down his throat. It scared me how little he understood of the situation, it scared me that he seemed to think love was something horrible and violent.
My parents thought that we'd had a fight.
My mother, who'd begun to hate Kai encouraged this rift. She hated all the attention we paid to him when he never even talked to her. She'd heard rumours, she told me, that he was a queer.
The more Kai tried to avoid me the closer I followed him. I could tell that it disturbed him, I wondered if he was capable of feeling fear. Then I remembered how he'd killed without even a sniffle and almost backed off. Love was stronger than fear.
He led me on a merry chase around the neighbourhood. Sometimes I thought that he enjoyed it, that he was just making it into another one of his games. I wondered if he could feel amusement.
On the third day after my confession h managed to escape me. I felt lost without him and insanely jealous. If he was not with me he could be with someone else…and even though I knew now that he couldn't love them I felt sick.
I waited in our alleyway lurking and smoking until my lungs stung in protest.
After three hours I kicked away my small pile of cigarette butts and decided to walk. It didn't take me long to find them.
They were perched on the curb, he hadn't even tried to hide it. Tyson was smiling tentatively between kisses and Kai wearing that expression he always wore. It was painfully familiar.
For a moment I was frozen in disgust.
A moan broke me out of my stupor and I ran at the them my hands swinging and out of control. I didn't stop until I drew blood. I could have cried when I realised it was Kai's.
Kai wiped his bloody lip and his eyes smirked at me. Tyson began fussing over him, confused about what was happening and before I knew it I was hitting them again. It was too much. Too much when I knew that Tyson loved him too.
Kai broke away from Tyson and grabbed my arms dragging me to the floor and pinning me under his weight. I began to sob as above me I heard him kiss Tyson goodbye. The wet sounds running through my head ten times louder than they ever actually could be.
When they had finished I heard the low shuffling of footsteps. Kai had told Tyson to leave.
My body jumped as I felt Kai's breath on my ear, "Do you love me now?" he asked smugly.
I bucked him off me slightly turning on the gravel and hearing my shirt rip. We were face to face my hands gripped his collar tight around his neck all I could think was this is how you kill.
His eyes were hard and unforgiving it was like he was daring me. "Yes." I answered pulling him forward into a harsh kiss, his blood bitter and sweet in my mouth.
He kissed me back with equal fervour, I wondered if this was what he wanted. If this kind of treatment was all he understood. It excited me. He bit me and I loved it, my blood mixing with his in a now messy kiss.
I wanted to hurt him too.
"What does it feel like?" he asked me later.
"What?" My head was still reeling from the taste of his blood.
"Love. What is it like?"
He should have been more ashamed of having to ask something like that.
"Everything. Like you're the only thing in the world. I want to own you consume you…I want to tare you to pieces just to be the one that gets to put your back together."
"And that's love?"
"Yes."
"Oh."
Sorry that it is short but I promise the next chapter won't be too long.