A/N- Okay, chapter one is out sooner than later because I'm figuring the prologue confuses more than one person at a time. It was kinda... Yeah. Confusing. Anyway, I'm hoping reading chapter one will clear some of the mass confusion up if you are in fact lost. And you may or may not get the point of this story from the first chapter. I make it SLIGHTLY or maybe a little more than SLIGHTLY obvious as to exactly what Ed did within these first few paragraphs. Enjoy.

Disclaimer- I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist or it's characters.

Chapter 1- Sin

What was Ed going to do with himself? He could barely keep away from a sharp object for a mere five minutes, but this? This was just unbelievable... Thank God Winry hadn't noticed the scars going all the way down his arm, or he would likely have been done for that afternoon when she'd inspected his automail, removed it, and left him alone in what had previously been the guest bedroom, but was now simply his room. Now that the automail was gone, he had no right arm to work with, which meant no cutting.

God this was hard for him.

He needed something to do, and being left handed, he'd decided to draw a few scribbles on a piece of paper, just to see if he could still make those transmutation circles he very rarely needed to use anymore. Being the Fullmetal Alchemist was no easy job, but doing alchemy without a circle was a little more than convinience. He was blessed, or had his 'equivalent exchange' in return for his punishment. Of course, that punishment hadn't been served alone. Al had been with him... Best not to think of Al when he had this terrible craving to slash himself up the wrist. That would make him desperate.

Al's death was simply unclean, and had been highly unnessecary, and the story Ed always seemed to give the reporters was little more than a flat-out lie. It consisted of Scar blowing the hell out of Liore, killing a young girl named Rose, a bunch of innocent bystanders, and most importantly, Al. He had then turned around, prayed to God for a few seconds, and in another instant, committed suicide right in front of Ed. Shouldn't the media be wondering why a serial killer targeting state alchemists wouldn't have killed the only state alchemist present at the time? They really were idiots...

And yet this story was as absolutely far from the truth as you could possibly get. The real truth... Ed simply didn't wish to think about it. The real truth was far too gruesome and Ed was not yet ready to except what he'd done. Until then...

A transmutation circle now existed on the piece of paper that Ed had been working with. It was shaped perfectly, as you would expect it to be from an alchemist with exceedingly excellent talents. Every line was drawn as it should be. Nothing was out of place. There were no dots of ink left to ruin the feeling of perfection anyone would get from this drawing. Such remarkable work... And still Ed had absolutely nothing to show for it. But right now, there was a transmutation circle in front of him, and whether it be perfect looking or not, he felt the need to make something sharp, to at least attempt to slash some part of his skin open.

Truth was, he couldn't really think of anything to transmute, or exactly what to transmute it into.

What could he possibly use to cut himself without his right arm? Stupid Winry, constantly worrying about the automail even though Ed had always told her not to. Such a despicable nature that girl had. Obsessions with mechanical objects, automechanics, or just simply mechanics in general... It disgusted Ed. And every time he saw Winry, he felt like he needed to strangle someone, to feel someone elses blood on his hands for once, instead of just his own...

And the thought of blood made him think of the truth. The truth he didn't even want to realize actually existed deep within that dark void in his brain, just begging to come out and toy with his emotions even worse than it already had. Ed was in a state of shock, and he would admit this openly so people wouldn't bother him about things as much, but every now and then, it ripped at him to do something worse. Really, he needed to hurt someone. And for so long he'd taken it out on himself because he thought this was either the right thing to do, or just because taking it out on real people was a risk he couldn't afford.

Thinking was mind numbing, and numbing the mind might have been what he'd needed at that moment, but luckily, a knock came at the door, and Winry stepped in. It had felt like hours upon hours had passed by, but examining his pocket watch, Ed detirmined it had been merely fifteen minutes. Was this a coincidence? He thought not. Looking up at Winry as though she were the most hated thing on the planet, Edward gave her a death glare, although she was smiling at him, and pushed himself off the floor as best he could manage with one hand. What the hell was she looking so happy about?

"I fixed your arm!" She said. Ed stared at her with big eyes, suprised, and pleased that the work had been finished so quickly. Maybe you could depend on Winry every once in a great while.

"What was wrong with it?"

"Exactly what you thought was wrong with it. Just a minor wire disconnection. That's all. I expect you want it back on as soon as possible?" Edward's first and only reaction to this question, was of course, to nod in contentment. It wouldn't be too long now... "But before that, I'm a little worried about your leg." Oh God, what now? "You acted like you were limping around a little, and I just wanted to make sure you didn't damage that as well."

And that was how it went. Within the next two minutes, Ed was downstairs on the couch, getting his leg checked out by Winry as Pinako prepared some lunch. Though Ed had just finished breakfest, it was late in the day, and it was very unusual for him to wake up this late. "Sit still..." The measuring tape had been pulled out. "Wow Ed... You grew about two more inches. Guess we can't call you as much of a shrimp as we could before..."

"Oh shut up. I thought this would be normal." Winry shrugged, and placed his right arm near the automail port. "Can you just..." He didn't get to say too much more before his nerves were connected. Ed didn't scream, but instead whimpered a little as he laid back into the couch in pain.

"Well then, on to your leg." Once Ed's leg was removed from the port, he was left to be physically challenged again, reaching for a conviniently placed bottle of water on the table next to him. This hurt worse than cutting himself. Maybe he should stick to yanking automail out and reconnecting it instead of resorting to the knife. There wouldn't be too much evidence that he'd tried to cause himself an injury, except for the fact that the nerves wouldn't react to the automail quite as well as before if he continuously pulled it out. "We're just making some height adjustments, so I guess for right now, you can lay there, or have a spare.

"Can I have a spare?" Ed asked. He'd half expected Winry to just shove it on for him. By now, she should have at least known him well enough to realize he couldn't sit still for over a minute when he didn't have his leg attatched.

When Ed fell asleep that night, or more like the next day at two in the morning, he was afraid of the nightmares that he knew were coming for him. The truth always came back to haunt him. There was really nothing he could do about it. And half an hour later, it arrived... Possibly one of the worst nightmares, or maybe just one of those nightmares that never wants to leave anyone alone. He'd seen all of this before, but sometimes it changed...

If Ed had already experienced it, the dream could be described as one word- Dying. He knew how people always said that when you died, your life flashed before your eyes. And that was exactly what was happening to him. He saw the calm world of Risembool around him as a young child, maybe even at the age of one. Then Al came in. Ed saw any memory that had ever meant anything to him that had Al in it, and that was pretty much all of them.

Soon after, Winry was involved. Then it changed to the death of his mother, training on that deserted Island, the failed human transmutation that led to his lost leg, slicing his arm off and passing out from the pain afterwards, getting automail, and everything that had happened afterwards, when Al was still with him.

And that got to him, the fact that Al wasn't there anymore. He didn't wake up, and would have gone to the worst part of the dream had Winry not slammed the door open.

"Edward, Roy Mustang's on the phone." What the hell time was it that he would be calling?

"Yeah, and what does he want?"

"Wants to talk to you about your losses." Must have been more news reporters sticking their noses where they didn't belong.

"Tell him some other time. I'm not interested."

"He says it's important, and he also told me you would say that... He wants you on the next train to Central."

"Well, tell him I can't go because my leg is missing."

"Actually... I finished that." Damnit.

"Ugh, fine." Pushing the covers off unwillingly, Ed walked into the living room and grabbed the phone from where it had been placed down on the table. "Hello?" He asked, in the most annoyed voice he could possibly create.

"You're up early, Fullmetal."

"Well what the hell did you think? Who can sleep when they've got some jerk calling them at..." Ed looked at his pocket watch. "Five-thirty in the morning!"

"Watch your tone of voice, and just remember who your superiors are. I need you in Central."

"I'm not talking to any more people about the incident! You know I won't, so why'd you even bother calling!" Edward was ready to hang up the phone. Mustang always got on his nerves, and yet, there was some reason he didn't hang up the phone. It wasn't Roy's intimidating take-charge sort of voice, and it wasn't that Ed honestly cared about what he had to say. So what was it?

"Don't worry. It's just that you haven't been around in so long, and I was hoping you'd take a look at a recent incident in East City." Was that it?

"Fine. I'll be there as soon as possible." The last thing Roy heard was a click before the phone line was disconnected. Ed had hung up.

A/N- We're getting to the Roy/Ed bits, slowly but surely! Please review! I love the comments.