AN: Yes, this story is finally back. Just a reminder that this story is yaoi; in other words male and male action. There's just one more chapter after this. For now, the aftermath…

Chapter Five

Jak knew there was a reason why his head was aching; it was just taking a few minutes for his brain to work out why. It had something to do with drinking, and Torn…

Torn! That thought woke Jak up rather quickly. He sat up quickly, before the pain in his head increased, telling him that what he had attempted wasn't a very good idea at all.

Torn. The very thought made Jak frown. Stupid, stupid Torn for being in love with him. Did the idiot have a death wish or something?

And yet, Jak felt as though he was missing something; an awfully big something at that. The entire night was a blur. He couldn't remember anything past sitting down at the bar. He was alone in his own bed, and fully dressed, which were always good signs.

Still, Jak couldn't help but feel as though he was forgetting something very important.

"You know, the point of last night was to get you drunk, not Jak," Daxter explained to a rather tired-looking, dreadlocked elf in front of him.

"I figured as much," Torn grumbled. "Do I really want to know why?"

"I think I should leave the explanations to Jak," Daxter answered, just as his blonde friend entered the room, looking a little worse for wear.

"Jak," Torn said, immediately feeling flushed and just a little bit nervous around the younger man. The kiss replayed in Torn's mind with startling clarity. The older man knew he'd be lucky if he ever stopped being haunted by that particular memory.

Jak just groaned as he realised Torn didn't seem in the least bit hung-over.

"So, I take it you didn't get quite as trashed as I did?" Jak said with a half-grin as Daxter scurried up his arm and onto his shoulder.

"No," Torn answered, trying to avoid Jak's direct gaze.

"You didn't get any action then?" Jak asked.

"No!" Torn snapped. Did one drunken kiss count as action? Besides, Jak wouldn't have asked if had remembered that. "I was too busy hauling your drunken ass back here!"

Torn immediately regretted his harsh words. Jak looked crushed.

"Sorry," Torn mumbled.

Jak shrugged. "My head feels like it's about to split open," he commented. "What on earth did we do last night?"

Torn took a deep breath. This was the one question he had been dreading. Well, there was no point in making things more awkward than necessary.

"We… uh… danced," Torn said. Hey, he wasn't lying; just omitting certain truths.

"Danced?" Jak repeated, laughing a little at the thought. "I thought you didn't dance?"

"I don't usually," Torn admitted. "But you forced me out there."

Torn was blushing now. Jak couldn't remember ever seeing Torn blush before. It was kind of endearing really.

Not that he would let himself care for Torn. Of course not.

And yet…

"I am so frickin' confused right now!" Jak screamed.

"I could have told you that," Daxter replied. "Seriously; you try to get rid of Torn's feelings for you by getting him drunk and then end up totally trashed yourself. That sounds like the actions of a confused man to me."

"I can't like Torn because, one," Jak said as he began to count off the reasons on his fingers, "I'm a guy and he's a guy. Two; I like Ashelin…"

"Since when have you liked Ashelin?" Daxter interrupted. "I thought you pulled away the last time she tried to kiss you."

"Three," Jak continued, ignoring his ottsel friend. "I could possibly kill him if I'm not careful. Four; he's my friend."

"Why are we counting the reasons you couldn't be in love with Torn?" Daxter interrupted again.

"Because I'm not!" Jak snapped. "I can't be."

"Fine then," was Daxter's answer, and it was accompanied by a devilish grin. "Let me help you then. Five; he's a jerk."

"What?" Jak questioned. "No he's not."

"Six; he's got that really annoying scratchy voice."

"What are you talking about? His voice isn't annoying at all."

"Seven; he's ugly."

"He's not ugly!"

"I thought you didn't like him."

"I don't."

"But you think he's hot."

"I didn't say… I just don't think he's ugly. That doesn't mean… Oh, so what if I do? It doesn't mean that I like him in that way."

"Jak, you are very, very confused. Did you know that?"

It was dark; so very, very dark. The only sounds that reached Jak's ears were the gentle hiss of steam somewhere in the darkness, and the quiet beeping of the equipment around him. He knew the dark and painful machines that were there, even if he couldn't see them.

Then, the pain came. It coursed throughout his body with the power of a thousand knives. He didn't scream though. He couldn't. Besides, this was nothing compared to what he knew was coming next.

Out of the darkness came a face he knew all too well. Every second of every day he hoped that this face would disappear, yet it returned every night to haunt him.

"Hello again Jak," Errol said, a wide smirk appearing on his face. "Did you miss me?"

Jak could feel rage building up inside of him just from looking at Errol's face.

"That's it Jak. Get angry. You know; once we're finished with you, you're going to be the ultimate killing machine. You won't even be able to go near anyone you care about anymore because they'll be too afraid of you."

Those words were no invention of Jak's subconscious mind. He had heard them, long ago, and their echo had been haunting him ever since.

Errol leaned in close to Jak's ear now, whispering more painful words.

"With good reason too. You'll be a monster, never able to love or be loved again. You'll spend the rest of your life all alone.Would you like to see what I mean?"

Jak felt just a little confused. This was a slight variation to what usually happened, and whatever it meant, it wasn't good.

"Bring him in," Errol commanded.

Within seconds a man had been dragged into the room by a pair of bodiless arms. It was Torn, and the dreadlocked man didn't seem to be struggling as much as he should have been. Instead, he fixed Jak with an incredibly gentle grin.

"That's right," Errol said, moving to Torn's side. "You've become rather attached to this one lately, haven't you?"

Jak wanted to scream. He was trying to, but if he was making any sound then neither he nor Errol could hear it.

"We're going to let you go now Jak," Errol said, the smirk on his face growing, "and you know what you're going to do?"

Suddenly he was back at Jak's side, whispering into his ear once more.

"You're going to rip him to pieces."

The next instant Jak was directly in front of Torn, without having taken any steps towards him that Jak could remember.

I don't want to do this, he thought. I don't want to hurt Torn.

I don't want to do this! he repeated, just as the first wound on Torn's body opened up, spraying blood all over their bodies.

STOP IT! Jak told himself. STOP IT! I DON'T WANT THIS TO HAPPEN!

Yet another blow and another rained down on Torn's body. A cruel laughter broke out then, and Jak didn't know whether it was Errol or himself. Blood sprayed everywhere. Jak knew there was no chance that Torn could survive this much blood loss.

His eyes were beginning to hurt from the tears he wanted to cry but knew that he couldn't. Yet his arms still struck at Torn, not listening to his mind's command for them to stop.

All the while, he wanted to scream…

Stop. STOP. STOP!

Jak sat up suddenly, having awoken from his nightmare. Sometime while he was asleep he had transformed into his darker self, and now there were tears in his bed sheets from his large claws.

He fought back the dark eco, making it disappear inside of him. Tears sprang from his eyes as soon as he returned to his normal self.

He hadn't had a nightmare that graphic since his time in the prison. The image of Torn's pain-filled face came back vividly, and suddenly, all that Jak really wanted was to make sure Torn was all right.

He slid out of bed quietly, careful not to wake Daxter and Tess, who were curled up together in a bundle of sheets near the door.

Jak tiptoed across the hall to Torn's room and gently pushed open the door. Sure enough Torn was sound asleep and perfectly safe.

Torn looked uncharacteristically peaceful when he was asleep. At the moment he was facing the door; one arm flung over the side of the bed, the other tucked up close to his chest. A ghost of a smirk settled on his face as soon as Jak entered the room.

Jak found himself as out of control of his body's actions as he had been in his dream. His feet carried him over to the side of the bed, and made him kneel by Torn's side. There would be no bloodshed however.

Jak found himself grabbing Torn's outstretched hand in his own. A sob of relief erupted from Jak's throat before he could stop it. Torn frowned in his sleep for a moment, before his eyes fluttered open.

He regarded Jak with worry for a moment.

"Jak?" he whispered, his hand tightening around the blonde's as he spoke. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Jak whispered. "It was just a bad dream."

"Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah," Jak said, letting his still sleepy head rest against Torn's mattress. "I'm just glad you're all right."

With that Jak's eyes slid shut slowly, and he fell asleep with his head resting only inches away from Torn's chest, their hands intertwined.

Torn didn't mention anything to Jak when he woke the next morning to find the blonde had already left. Nor did he say anything a few days later, when almost exactly the same thing happened, nor the time after that.

Jak never spoke about his nightmares, but from what Torn could gather, they involved his death. While these little visits to Torn's room at night continued, Jak seemed to be distancing himself from Torn during the day.

Torn set up a few of the challenges that had once formed the majority of his interactions with Jak, but the blonde didn't say a word as he completed them all far quicker than Torn would have thought possible. Neither of them noticed that half the people they knew were now looking at them differently.

Then one night Torn awoke to the sound of whimpering coming from across the hall. Another nightmare, he guessed, which meant that in a couple of minutes Jak would find his way into Torn's room and spend the rest of the night sleeping on his knees.

Torn quickly decided he would spare Jak the sore knees and headed across the hall towards Jak's room.

He opened Jak's door noiselessly. A quick scan of the room revealed that Daxter and Tess were out somewhere else, an occurrence which was beginning to become more and more common.

Jak was thrashing around in bed, tears streaming down his face, and mumbling words that Torn couldn't understand.

Torn sighed, his heart immediately going out to the younger man. He sat on the side of Jak's bed and placed a hand on the blonde's cheek.

Jak let out a particularly loud cry then, and pulled away from Torn's touch.

"Jak," Torn called softly. "Jak, it's me."

"Torn," Jak moaned quite audibly. "No…"

"Jak, it's all right," Torn whispered, leaning in closer to stroke the side of Jak's face. "Jak; it's just a nightmare. I'm fine."

The moaning disappeared now, and became a soft whimpering.

"It's all right," Torn repeated. "I'm here Jak."

Before he could really think about what he was doing, Torn closed the few centimetres between himself and Jak, and placed a feather-light kiss on Jak's forehead.

Suddenly, Torn felt the crackle of dark eco beneath him. Jak's eyes flew open, and Torn was faced with the black pools of light which were Dark's eyes. Then pain, which started at his stomach and spread throughout his whole body. He looked down to discover Jak's long claws embedded in his stomach.

All this happened in the instant that Torn's lips left Jak's.

Dark Jak looked shocked for a moment, before the darkness drained from Jak's face and he returned to normal. He stared at his blood-stained hands and then back up at Torn, who could still only manage a look of mute horror.

"Torn?" Jak whispered, just before Torn let his weight fall against Jak's chest.

"I'm sorry Jak," Torn whispered.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for," Jak sobbed. "You know I didn't mean it." He grabbed Torn in his arms and pulled him into his lap. "Sweet eco Torn. I didn't mean for this to happen. That's… that's a lot of blood. Torn, please. I didn't want this to happen. You were just there suddenly, and he said… Torn, please. Stay with me for just a little while longer. We'll get help…"

Jak knew he wasn't making much sense, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was that Torn was lying in his arms, bleeding to death, and that couldn't happen because Torn couldn't die. And yet here they were.

"Somebody help!" Jak screamed, but there was no-one to answer him. He returned to the bleeding body in his arms.

A strange sort of smile had settled on Torn's face, and it brightened as Torn reached up a hand to wipe away one of the tears that were running down Jak's cheeks.

"Torn," Jak whispered. "Please don't die."

Torn just continued to smile. His eyes were beginning to close now, and his breathing was becoming ragged.

"I…" Torn started, having a little trouble speaking. "I love… you… Jak. I love…"

With that his eyes closed.

"No…" Jak cried. "No, no, no, no, no. Torn, don't leave me. Torn, I love you too. Torn, don't go!"

He pulled Torn close to him then, letting the older man's head rest against his shoulder, not caring about the blood that was now covering his clothes and bed.

He didn't know how long he cried, but soon he felt it, like a gentle caressing in the back of his mind. The dampness of his tears on his cheeks soon evaporated, but Jak paid this strange phenomenon no heed. All that mattered was that Torn was gone. He had to get Torn back. He would do anything to get Torn back.

Jak didn't take any notice when his wings sprouted from his back, nor when white eco began to flow into his hands.

When he heard Torn gasp, however, he reeled back in shock. The white eco disappeared, and so, miraculously, had the gaping wounds in Torn's gut.

Torn's eyes had flown open, and now he stared at Jak in mute shock. Jak didn't know how to reply to the unspoken question in Torn's eyes.

What in Mar's name had just happened?

All Jak could do was hold onto Torn and weep, this time in relief.

"Jak," Torn said when he finally managed to speak. "What the hell just happened?"

It took a couple of seconds for Jak to stop enough that he could answer Torn's question.

"I'm not sure," he answered truthfully. "I think I transformed into Light Jak and healed you somehow."

"And before that?"

"I didn't mean to hurt you. I just…"

"Another nightmare?"

Jak nodded. "You know, this is why I didn't want you to get too close. I've been so afraid that something like this would happen."

The last thing Jak would have expected then was for Torn to laugh, but laugh he did, a small chuckle escaping his lips and making his whole body, which was sill laying in Jak's arms, shake gently.

"You're afraid that you'll hurt people, so you push them away?"

Jak nodded again.

"That is really screwed up Jak."

Jak raised an eyebrow at the tattooed man. How could Torn say something like that after what had just happened to him?

Torn sighed and shifted so that he was more comfortable.

"Everyone is going to die sooner or later Jak; sooner more often than later at the moment. I'd say nearly every soldier under my command has done something that ended up getting one of their comrades hurt, whether it was a misaimed shot, or simply not being in the right place at the right time. If they were to push away everyone they cared about, then this would be an incredibly lonely city.

"We're all going to die Jak. The trick is to make the most of whatever time we're given with those we care about, instead of worrying about when it's going to end."

Torn stopped, and stared down at the blood-stained clothes he was wearing. "I guess I'll go have a shower."

It was Jak's turn to chuckle now. "You almost get killed and then ten minutes later all you're worried about is getting the smell of blood off your body."

Torn winked at Jak as he stood up.

"This isn't my first near death experience," Torn said, "and man will I be surprised if it turns out to be my last."

Jak smiled to himself as Torn walked away.

"Torn," he called, just as the older man reached the doorway. "Thank you."

Torn just smiled in return.

Jak sat there once Torn had left the room, just thinking about the other man's words for a moment. Perhaps Torn was right.

Tomorrow, Jak was going to fix everything.