Authors Note: Sorry it took so long to update. I had a week from hell pretty much. It was finales week. Grr... Also, this chapter is super short because the next one is going to be extremely long. I was originally going to add the next chapter to this chapter but then I think it would have been kind of weird. I'll try to get the next chapter up within the next couple days.

Chapter Four

Deluded Truth

Now that I was actually put into the position, I had no idea what I was going to do. Here I was, confronted with the one thing that I wanted to kill more then anything at the moment, and all I could do was stand still and stare. I had expected her to try and run, make some excuse to get out of all this. But instead she sat, looking at me with an amused smile on her face, her posture of utter relaxation.

"Well?" She said expectantly.

I took a deep breath and crossed my arms, making sure not to show her the confusion that was racing through my system. "What have you done to him?"

"To who?"

"Don't play stupid, you know who."

"Oh, you mean Angel?" she said in mock surprise. "Why whatever do you mean?"

"Cut the crap. I know you've done something. There's no other explanation for the way he's acting."

She laughed and crossed her ankle over one slim leg, "Hate to be the one to tell you sweet heart, but I haven't done a damn thing to your precious Angel. This is all him." She went back to reading the book that lay open in her lap.

"You actually expect me to believe that?"

"No, but whether I'm lying or telling the truth, either way you're automatically going to assume that I'm lying."

"Give me one reason then on why I should believe you." I starred at her with intimidation. She just kept on reading her book though, turning the pages every so often.

"I don't have to give you a reason. I don't care if you believe a word I say. It's not going to hurt my feelings."

"Yeah, but it might make me refrain from killing you."

Julia laughed as she got up and replaced the book on the bookshelf to the far right. "You wouldn't kill me. I'm not one of your pesky little demons. You're conscience would get the better of you if you laid a single hand on me." She smiled and leaned against the wall, looking as amused as ever. "I think it's you that should give me a reason to tell you the truth. Not vice versa."

I stalked up to her, stopping only when I was inches away from standing toe to toe. "I could kill you before you even moved."

"And like I said, you won't though."

My hand shot out on its own accord and lifted her off the ground. Blood was boiling and at this moment in time, I could snap her scrawny little neck and go on like nothing had ever happened. "Let's try this one more time. What did you do to him?"

She kicked out with her healed foot, catching me off guard. "I told you," she put a hand to her reddening neck. "I didn't do a damn thing to contribute to whatever the hell is going on with the two of you."

"Two weeks ago he was fine! We were happy," I lied through my teeth. We weren't even close to being happy. That would only be achieved when Leon was gone. "Then suddenly he gets a message saying he needs to come and help you and the next thing I know he's jumping down my throat, telling me that I'm nothing to him. You're playing a bigger part in this then either of you are letting on.'

"Are you that naïve!" She yelled, breaking her calm exterior. "He came here to help me yes, but this whole thing that's going on has nothing to do with me. He's just using it as an excuse."

I narrowed my eyes at her, causing her to laugh at the look that marred my face. "You actually thought that he was pushing you away because of me? That's just rich." She sat down on the sofa holding her stomach at the thought of all this. "I haven't even come close to threatening you precious little life style. I don't even want to be a part of his life."

"Then if you're not the reason for all this, then what is?" I hadn't even moved from my place on the ground yet. I just sat there glaring at her, hating that every minute that went by, she came closer and closer to knowing what Angel was all about then I ever did. This woman who probably hadn't said more then a handful of sentences to him knew almost every single aspect of his life.

"Everything," she said, becoming serious. "Everything that has ever happened to him is the reason why he's pushing you away. And if you're too blind to even see that, then you deserve what you're getting here."

"I deserve this? I don't know anything about the past three hundred years! I'm completely in the dark here. No one will tell me anything, and you think that I deserve this?"

She got up and rolled her eyes, "Do you want a little bit of friendly advice here?" She stopped right in front of me. "Grow up, realize that this isn't all about you and be there for him for once." She starred at me for a moment, wallowing in the fact that she had just shone up somebody that Angel had seemingly put on a pedestal all these years, then she walked out of the room.

I sat there thinking about everything that she had just said to me. I couldn't help but kick myself. I had been ranting and raving about this girl, thinking that she was the source of all my problems. But looking back I knew that I should have seen what was really going on. I can't even count how many times I had seen Angel get this far off look in his eyes about something, or how many times I had seen just a flash of pain before he hid it away once again. Even Connor had hinted towards his dark past, but had I once asked what was going on. No.

Scrambling from the floor I marched down the hall in search of Angel. Confrontation was something that I hated doing, but I knew that it had to be done.

I flung open his door without much of a thought. Greeting me was his bare back, his fists flying at the punching bag that was hanging suspended from the ceiling. He was in such a state of deep concentration that he didn't even know I was in the room until I gently laid a hand on his shoulder, briefly covering his tattoo.

"What do you want?" He didn't' even have the grace to slow his movement and look at me.

"To talk."

"That never really ends well with us."

I bit my lip to keep myself from screaming at his harsh tone. "Angel please."

He stopped his rapid punching and grabbed a towel that was off to the side. "What do you want to know now Buffy? Haven't I given you enough?" He wiped the sweat from his forehead, fixing me with a cold glance every few seconds.

"I don't want to know anything… well, I do, but that's not really the point." I took a deep breath. How was I supposed to say that I came here to talk to him about what was going on, but at the same time show that I didn't want to know for me but for him? It sounded confusing even to my own ears.

"Are you going to stand here and stare or are you actually going to say something? Because if you're not, I'd really appreciate it if you'd get out so I can get back to my work out."

"I came here to see if you needed anything." He stopped in mid stride as he walked back towards his bag, giving me a look that I wasn't quite sure how I was supposed to read.

"What?"

"Did you need anything?" For a moment I thought that I had gotten somewhere. That maybe I had said the right thing and that everything was going to start getting better. That was until he started to laugh.

"Just get out Buffy, and stop pretending like you care. We both know the truth." He went back to punching the bag. "You and I aren't what we used to be. We don't care about each other and we certainly don't love each other. The sooner we drop the façade, the sooner we can move on."

'You may not love me, but I still love you. I just need you to know that." I was amazed at how calm my voice was sounding at the moment. I knew thought that I needed to get out of this room quickly before the smooth interior cracked.

"Always the hopeless romantic huh Buff?"

"Stop pretending like you're Angelus Angel, he was a much better liar then you." I gritted my teeth.

"As much as you try to ignore it, he's still here. Just below the surface." He held his bag, stopping it for a moment to look at me. "And if I were you, I'd make an effort not to piss him off." He immediately went back to his frantic punching as if nothing had happened.

"It's nice to know you still have some sort of feelings left in you." I turned and walked out of the room before he could answer back. Shutting the door silently I repelled the urge to scream or punch the wall. Not raising my voice in there had taken almost everything out of me.

Still trying to control my rage I walked down the hall in search once again for Julia.

"You tried to talk to him didn't you?" She asked from behind me somewhere. When I turned, all I could see of her was a lone cigarette being lit from the shadows. "It's too late for that. He's to far gone for talk to help."

"Then tell me. Tell me everything that you know about him."

"Why should I?"

"Because somewhere in you, you care for him too."

She stepped into the light smirking. "How 'bout I do you one better? I'll show you."

"Meaning?" I asked as I followed her down the hall. I didn't like one bit the look she was giving me. But if it meant that things would be just the slightest bit better between Angel and I, I was willing to do it.

We stopped once we reached the inside of my room. "Lay down on the bed." She ordered. I raised an eyebrow at her, causing her to roll her eyes. "Do you want my help or don't you?" I did as she directed, laying stiffly on my back, watching her as she walked around the room lighting several candles. I began to feel hazy, as if I was floating or something. With a look of utter concentration she walked up to me. "Close you're eyes." She said. I didn't want to. Those words always seemed to be ill fated from what I could remember, but my body didn't listen. Before I knew it, my eyes had fallen shut on their own accord and a hand touched my forehead.

That's when it all began.