Authors Note: Okay, this chapter is long to make up for my last one. It is also a little... okay, a lot darker then my previouse chapters. You'll see what I mean. It took me forever to write this because I needed to reread everything I've written since I've forshadowed everything that happens in this chapter. Hopefully some of your questions will be answered here, and well, I know there is one question that's going to be on all your guy's minds in the end. Please please review this for me.
Chapter Five
Seeing is Unfortunately Believing
Cars rushed by, honking their persistent horns under the night sky. People walked the street, unknowing that their lives were about to change. And the stars? Well they did as they always did in the heart of a big city. They stayed masked under the city lights, waiting for the moment that every bulb would blink out, just for a second so they could flood the town with their radiance. That day was soon to come. But along with it horror and tears, and rage would fill the town, consume it right up along with the twinkling pinpricks of light..
Trash can's banged into each other as a scuffle took place in the nearby alley. A scuffle that started out as just that, but quickly became a war of utmost importance.
"Did you actually think I would let you live?" The vampire that called himself Leon called out to his right. Angel lay on the ground floor of the alley, spitting out blood, looking worse for wear. But not once did he become discouraged. Another day, another battle. This was all this was to him. Just one more vampire that he had to kill. Just one more.
"Truth be told, I'm surprised that it took you so long to get up the courage to face me." Angel bounced right back up and threw a blow to Leon.
"I just didn't want to believe that the Scourge of Europe had a soul." He too threw a punch as the last words would be exchanged. They fought, matching each other blow for blow. Both vampires had equal strength, equal resistance, and what they were now noticing as equal cuts.
Leon seemed to be the first to realize this. An amazing upper cut came his way and he stood still, almost as if he was stunned. He watched in utter curiosity as a bruise formed on his opponent's cheek. The same cheek that a bruise was forming on his. Without a moments hesitation he grabbed the long discarded knife and jabbed it into his own stomach.
Angel stopped in mid punch as his fist hung in the air, watching as Leon, the one person who could give him a run for his money, stabbed himself. Defeating himself before things got to the breaking point. With shock, and a little disappointment, Angel straightened, getting ready to send the finale blow if this truly was the end. That's when he felt it.
A sharp pain made him double over, sending him to his hands and knee's. He tried to suck in the useless breath, trying to ease the pain just a little, but his body wouldn't have it. Looking down to see what the cause of the pain was, he was shocked to learn that absolutely nothing stood in his way. Pulling his hand away a deep dark sheen of blood marred his hand. That's when the laughter began.
It started out slowly at first, then bubbled up and over the edge. Leon sat back on his heals, holding his gut in much the same way Angel was. Angel only thought that Leon had gone insane finally when the though flitted out of his head and the truth replaced it. His eyes went wide as he got up despite the fresh waves of pain that were busy hitting his system. Running as fast as he could he stumbled out of the alley, pushing open the doors to the hotel, then froze.
The smell hit him almost immediately. The sweet scent drifted around the room, tempting him, calling him. Not wanting to believe it, not wanting to believe the soft whispers of death that were racing in and out of his head, Angel ran forward. But the moment his heal hit the tiled floor, he slipped. Slipped on the bloodied handprint that was currently decorating the ground.
Swallowing hard he raised his head. Streaks of the crimson fluid could be seen all over. But what disturbed him most were the red handprints that began to mark the unknown path to the end. His mind was telling him not to go back there. Behind the reception desk laid what would be known as the breaking point for him and that seeing whatever was behind the reception desk would only cause more pain then he already suffered tonight. But his heart was refusing to believe that any of this was true. It wasn't until he saw Cordelia's cold vacant eyes staring back at him that he finally understood what had happened. But it was too late. The images were already in him, and they weren't going to let go until he died.
Fred's mangled body hung from the chair to his right, clutching Gunn's hand in a death grip as he aimed a crossbow at an unseen demon. Wesley was laying by the weapons cabinet, going for reinforcement, refusing to give up, but the side of his head was crushed in from what Angel could only guess was caused by the discarded crowbar at his side. And Lorne… well the cold dead heart that was lying in his hand should have been an indication to how his life ended. That was until Angel realized that a deep gash ran all the way through his torso and that the heart that lay in his hand at the moment was none other then Cordelia's.
Backing out as quickly as he could Angel hit the wall, leaving the bodies to hide behind the desk and out of site. But that didn't really seem to matter because everywhere Angel looked the images of his friends still haunted him. His hands were now covered in them, his once called home bathed in it wherever you looked. The only spot that didn't seem to have the blood of his life was taken up by his crouched figure. And that's where he sat, starring vacantly around the room, rubbing his hands raw, trying to get the blood to go away.
"Hurts, doesn't it?" Someone asked from a distance. "To know that everything, everyone that ever cared for you, is gone. That it's your fault that they're dead." Leon crouched down by Angel's side. "You know that right? That they're all dead because of you? It's kind of ironic if you think about it. You've saved so many lives in your time, but you couldn't even save the ones that mattered most to you." Angel starred at the wall dejectedly, still furiously rubbing his hands. "I heard that they cried out for you. Especially the brunette girl, Cordelia was it? I only wish I could have been the one to cut out her heart. To feel her last beats as she looked on at me in fear. Instead I had to enchant your friend Lorne to do it. It's probably best though that someone she knew and trusted did it for her. At lest all of their dying thoughts were of you." He laughed slightly, almost wistfully. "The things that were probably racing through their minds in their last moments. I image they were wanting to know why you weren't here, why you betrayed them, let them down." Leon wiped a little bit of blood off the floor and waved it tantalizingly in front of Angel's mouth, coating his lips with the blood, coaxing him to taste it. "Come on Angel, you know you want to. It's your only way to know what they were feeling as the blood spilled out of them. I know you're getting hard just thinking about it. Thinking about tasting the sweet essence of the girls. Don't try to tell me that you've never thought of it." He smiled twistedly. "Waking up in the middle of the night, almost being able to taste their sweet fluids on your tongues. Wanting nothing more then to go down stairs and throw them over one of the desks, having you way with them until they begged you to stop. Then, when they finally think that it's over and that things can't get any worse, you drink them dry. How many nights did this happen Angel? How many times did you let your hands wander under your sheets just so you could feel some sort of relief. Eager to do anything to keep your dreams from coming true."
Angel's tongue darted out without meaning too, lapping up the blood that stained his lips. Almost instantly he leaned over, retching out everything his stomach contained as Leon laughed from above. "The demon is still in you Angel. It's always in you. Right. Above. The surface." He grabbed him by the forearms, pulling him up to eye level. "You let them die. Don't you think you should pay them back? All you have to do is let go. Let the demon surface and let that soul of yours rest. You don't deserve to live any longer. Not after what you did." Not a single word was uttered after this. Even if Angel could find the words he wanted to say, his mouth wouldn't move to let them out.
In disgust Leon dropped him, letting him crash to the floor bonelessly. "The pain you're feeling now will be nothing compared to the future if you don't let go. Hope to see you soon Angelus." He called over his shoulder as he exited the now quiet hotel.
For hours Angel stayed exactly where Leon had left him. Not moving a single muscle as if he didn't even know how too. His mind was completely blank save for the images of his friends. He would have stayed there too, rotted there. That is if Connor hadn't came.
He ran into the hotel room coming in from the street. The sight before him played out much the same way as Angel had. He too didn't want to believe any of it. Running to the desk he almost cried out as he saw his friends, what was once his family, lying in a pool of their own blood. Sadness is what is expected to take someone over after something like this. That or horror. But instead anger only came. Looking up he searched for the source of the death and destruction that surrounded him. But he didn't really expect to find anything. The smell of the blood was too old and flies were already beginning to gather.
A figure though could be seen hidden in the shadows. Picking up the crowbar that had been used to kill Wesley, Connor slowly walked forward. He prepared himself for anything. Some sort of hideous demon who was sitting and wallowing in his masterpiece, but the dead stare of his father was all that came to him. The first thought that seemed to enter his head was that he too had died in the battle. That was until he remembered that vampires don't leave behind corpses.
"You son of a bitch." He said, dropping the crow bar to the side and striding forward. He lifted the man before him up, slamming him against the wall. "How could you do this?" He emphasized his point with another skull crushing smack against the wall. "Answer me you bastard!"
Connor was about to hit him again when he saw that his fathers eyes hadn't even blinked. If someone where to come in here right now, they'd just mistake Angel for another one of the dead bodies.
Dropping him, Connor backed up and looked around searching for something he didn't quite understand. Everything was confusing. Things weren't making sense and… in a minute it all came crashing down.
"Leon." Connor whispered, now knowing that the worst had yet to even begin. The proverbial shit was hitting the fan and now five of their best warriors were lying dead on the other side of the room, and the one person who could probably stop this was busy staring off into the distance completely comatose.
Connor shook his head slowly and slid down the wall next to his father. Then, almost like a movie, a white flash sounded and the scene switched.
"Don't do this."
Connors voice sounded as he nearly ran to keep up with a man. A man that most would think would be dead at the moment after everything he'd seen, but for some reason he was still going. Maybe it was the fact that he couldn't shut his eyes at night without the blood and cries for help coming back to haunt him.
"He killed them Connor. I'm not just going to sit back and do nothing."
"You heard what the oracle said. Every scratch he gets you get. And now with this stupid spell he's put on you, he's practically impervious to any harm."
"I can still hit him."
"Yeah, and pretty much hit yourself in the process! This is stupid, there has to be a better way to do this."
Angel spun around throwing his arms in the air. "Then tell me what it is! Please, if you have something that you think is going to work then be my guest. Share. But if not, shut the fuck up and get out of my way." He stalked off, continuing his mission.
"Dad," Angel stopped dead in his tracks. Slowly he turned around and looked at his son. "I'm asking you not to do this. They wouldn't want that."
For a minute Connor thought that he had won some sort of ground here. That maybe Angel would stop with this murderous rampage and listen to some common sense here. Things never are as they seem though.
"Don't wait up." He said, walking out the door, not caring that his son had shown some sort of emotion towards him
It wasn't until a week later that they had found Angel. Broken and bleeding on some warehouse floor. The fight with Leon had played out almost exactly as Connor ahd expected. Angel and Leon may have been equally matched, the only difference is that Angel was now getting more then he bargained for. Connor was the first to get to his side after they had beaten back all the vampires. It was there that he had to pry the dull tipped knife out of Angel's hands.
"What are you doing?" He practically screamed at him.
Angel just shook his head. "It doesn't matter. None of it matters." He lunged back at the knife, but once again Connor was too fast and was able to keep it out of his reach. "No!" He yelled. "I have to have it. I have to know how it feels."
Struggling to keep Angel away Connor was barley able to grit out his sentence. "Have to know how what feels?"
He stopped. Stopped his movement, stopped his yelling, he just looked his son right in the eye. "I have to know how Cordelia felt when Lorne cut her heart out."
Flashes blinded the room once again
"You don't have to do this Dawn."
"Angel, Buffy died to save me. I have to repay her." A young brunette haired girl hoisted her daughter up further into her arms. "It's the least I can do."
"She wouldn't want you to do this. It's too dangerous." Angel looked forlornly at the little girl in Dawns arms. For so many reasons she looked like Buffy. Her hair was blond and her blue eyes stood out prominently against her pale skin. Dawn had once said that the monks had made her out of Buffy. That the same blood ran through both girls veins. That was the only logically reason Angel could come up with to describe how the little girl looked so much like the woman he had loved once upon a time.
"That's the beauty of having a dead sister. They may not want you to do something, but they can't really stop you from doing it." She smiled at Angel
The smile soon faded away though and was replaced by Angel running into the room a few years later..
"Dawn!" He scanned the room. "No." He cried as he saw the hand that was clutching the knife. Lying on the floor, Dawn held a dagger in a death grip, trying to ward off and protect her family. Slashes lay all over her but the small bullet whole through her forehead told Angel that she wasn't able to succeed. With as much dread as he could muster he walked forward, glancing into the bedroom to see her husband Jason in much of the same position on the bed. That's not what sprung tears to his eyes though.
The closet door hung partly open. Knowing that he had to look, that he'd never forgive himself if on the off chance it wasn't true, he opened the door.
Buffy Joyce Summers Mackenzie was hanging from a noose, clutching her teddy bear tightly to her chest. Angel swallowed thickly while reaching out for the girl, taking her down off her swing. Slowly he laid her on the floor and kissed her blue little face, then walked outside and lit the house of fire. Watching as his friends home was consumed by flames, he walked away.
"We have to go in there now." His voice sounded as another flash took place.
"Angel you need to calm down." The red head said as she stubbornly stood her ground in front of the snarling vampire.
"Calm down? How the hell do you expect me to calm down? We've almost got him Willow. But if he's able to harvest this girl's power then we might as well stop fighting and turn ourselves over. This is the last straw. Don't you realize that?"
"I know exactly what will happen if he's able to harvest the girls powers Angel." The red head said. Lines now wrinkled her face though and the young vibrant girl know as Willow now stood tall at the age of seventy three, glaring at a man who didn't seem to age a day. But the same fire was hidden behind her eyes still. They were just a little more worn then they used to be. "We're doing this, I told you that, but we're doing this alone." A murmur of agreement came in from behind the witch.
"I don't care how powerful you and your coven are. I could care less if you were God himself. You're going to need help. I'm coming with you."
Willow sighed and looked at the rest of her coven. "Give us a minute." She ordered. Slowly they all filed out. Being the top witch had its perks at times. "Angel, you're running yourself raw. You can barley fight you're so tired. I know that you hate Leon more then anybody. And you have every right too. But if you walk in there with us, you're just going to get in the way." She took his hand. "This could be it Angel. This could be the chance we've been looking for. Leon could die tonight. Don't screw that up for us."
Angel closed his eyes. "You can't expect me to just not do anything. He killed everyone. God Willow, he killed Dawn!"
"I know, I know. And you haven't been doing nothing Angel. You've been out there every damn day fighting things back. Without you here, Leon would have already taken over by now. You need to understand that you've done all that you can do. Now you need to leave the rest up to me."
Angel looked at her, trying to make her back down with one of his Angelus like looks. But she wouldn't budge. She just looked at him fondly with what Buffy used to call the resolve face, making him understand with her eyes that this is the way things had to be. It didn't mean that he liked it any better. He always thought that he would be there in the end. That he would be the one to look into Leon's cold dead eyes and rip out his heart. Make him feel just a fraction of the pain that he caused him and so many of the other people that he loved. But Willow was right. He had no place going in on a rescue mission with a coven of witches.
"Just promise me that you make it hurt." He gritted out.
"Believe me," Willow got up from her seat and pulled her cloaks hood over her head. "I plan too."
It wasn't an hour later that Connor had come and told him that they were dead. Every. Last. One. Willow had been the last standing. Fighting her heart out. But Leon had already harvested the power of the Slayer, dooming them from the beginning.
"It's about time the Council does something." Connor said as Angel hung up the phone as the white light cleared to reveal him. "When's the Slayer being called?"
"Apparently she already has." His brow scrunched up in confusion.
"Why am I getting the impression that this is a very bad thing?"
Angel sighed. "It could just be me being paranoid but… I don't know. The way they were talking… there's something that they didn't want to tell me."
"What do you mean?"
"They said they made her out of what was to come. Some thing that was by all means meant to be on this earth but was prevented… They couldn't just call another girl, they had to create one." He bit his lip. "I'm getting the feeling that I'm not going to like what this whole cryptic deal is when I find it out."
Connor was silent for a moment, not quite knowing what he was supposed to say to that. "Is she coming here?"
"She's on her way. Supposed to be here in the next couple of hours."
"So you're saying be on my guard."
Angel stood up. "I'm saying learn not to trust what the watchers council says to be good."
And he was right. For and hour later a young blonde sat on a bar stool in the safe house. She was knocking back shots of tequila, scrunching her face in revulsion with every single swallow.
"Aren't you a little young for that stuff?" Angel said, pulling up a seat right beside her.
"I figure that since I'm not going to be living for too much longer anyways, I might as well live life all I can 'till I kick the bucket." She answered, knocking back another shot.
"You the Slayer they were sending?" He said scrutinizing every aspect of her.
"I'm you're man… well, girl actually." She turned around and faced him for the first time, almost knocking him off of his seat. Her blonde hair and blue eyes looked back at him, giving him a sense of déjà vu. "Mira," she said sticking out her hand. "My name is Mira."
"Um," he took her hand, his heart skipping a beat at the familiarity of it all. "I'm Angel. Nice to meat you?" He stated it as a question for so many reasons. Reason number one being that he wasn't quite sure if it was nice or not.
She just giggle, her laugh ringing out throughout the place, and turned back to her tequila. "Bla." She shuttered as she threw back the next shot.
Rain sounded in the distance as once again the proverbial page was flipped, revealing another scene. The huge drops came down, soaking him to the bone. But the cold drops that he felt was nothing compared to the cold that had taken over his body.
"I'm sorry." A man said as he stood in front of him. "We tried to get to her, but it was too late. She'll be back at his lair by now."
Angel starred at him blankly, not quite sure what he was supposed to say to the man who had just told him that his daughter had been caught. The man wanted to say something more, to give him some sort of comfort, but he couldn't. So instead he turned to walk away with a whispered "I'm so sorry."
That's when the knife slipped through his back. Crying out in pain he tried to arch away from the object, but Angel twisted him around so as to look him in the eye. "Not as sorry as I am." He thrust the knife in a little bit deeper and let him go, watching as he writhed on the floor as his blood spilled out and got washed away by the rain. Ten minutes later he was dead.
"What the hell is this?" Connor entered into the alley seeing the dead body. "Leon doesn't usually kill this clean." But Connor stopped as he recognized the man to be Mira's boyfriend. "Oh God," He swallowed and looked up at Angel. "What happened?"
"He was stabbed." Angel stated dully.
Connor rubbed his eyes. "Mira really didn't need this right now."
"She won't hear about it."
"What do you mean?" Dread was beginning to fill his heart as the pieces started coming together.
"Leon's got her. Twelve of his men jumped her and the rest of the team during patrol. James," he motioned to the body down below. "Was the only one who was able to get out. The rest died trying to defend her." Leaning down Angel pulled the knife out of the boys back and started walking out of the alley.
"Please tell me that you didn't just do what I think you did?" Connor shouted, trying to be heard over the pounding of the rain.
"What does it matter? Leon's got two slayers now. Why even fight?"
"You killed a man!"
"I've done it thousands of times before Connor. Nothing new."
"No, this time it is different. This time it's your daughter's fiancé, this time you're not Angelus and you're not fighting for your life!"
"I'm fighting for my life every damn day!" He yelled turning around. "And now my only daughter is somewhere with Leon getting God knows what done to her while I'm down here doing nothing! Don't you dare start to patronize me Connor because I just ran a knife through someone back and I'm not sure I can hold myself back from doing it again."
"What the hell has gotten into you!"
Angel laughed ruthlessly. "You know what? Screw it. I'm not fighting anymore. My last reason for staying in this world is gone. I'm not doing this again."
"You're not even going to try and save her?"
"What's the point? She's probably wishing for death at the moment. Connor, I've seen the things Leon can do. I taught him every damn thing he knows.. And if I were him right now, I'd be fucking her senseless! I'm not going to go and try and rescue her from this because she's going to be so out of her mind long before I can even get there."
"So you're going to just let Leon use her like this! We could still save her."
"And bring her back to what? What kind of life would she have after this? We're all better off dead at the moment."
"That's because you're condemning us to death!"
Angel rushed up to his son and threw the first punch, not caring that every hit was jarring blood onto his hands. So much blood had stained them already that it didn't seem to really matter any more. "Shut up Connor. I don't want to do this anymore. I hate my life. I hate getting up in the morning. For once, I want to be the selfish one." Each syllable seemed to be punctuated with a punch to the face until Connor lay on the ground broken and bleeding. "I have nothing left to live for now."
"So that's what I am then? Nothing?" Angel just starred at his son's battered form. "And you wonder why I hate you." He got up off the ground and started walking away. Turning when he reached the street corner he gave one finale glance at Angel. "I'm going to go find my sister. When you're done feeling sorry for yourself, look me up."
Pictures and images faded away, leaving utter blackness. Soft moaning could be heard, but other then that? Nothing.
"Please," Someone cried out pitifully. "I'll pay you back. I swear. Just please stop…" The woman's voice begged over and over again, but no one answered. She gasped in pain several times as the blackness started to fade, showing her pressed up against the alley wall, her skirt hiked up around her waste. She gasped in pain a few times, but uttered no more.
A few long minutes passed and the man spilled his seed into her, ramming into her with brutal force, causing her teeth to knock together. "Thanks darlin'. I needed that. Now, I think there's a little matter of payment that we need to discuss." Pulling out a sharp blade he pressed it to her bare neck. "Where's the money?"
"I told you, I don't have it now. But I'll get it. I promise. Just give me a chance to…"
"You've had your chance."
"What are you going to do, kill me? You'll never get your money that way."
"It's not a matter of money anymore." He whispered into her ear, kissing her neck softly. "It's a matter of making an example. You see, if I let you live then all my other girls will think they can get away with the same shit you did. And I won't have that." He started to slip the knife lower and lower, down past her belly, making her gasp as the cool metal touched her. "You're a good girl Julia. You're just too independent for my liking. Now," he licked the shell of her ear. "Where were we?"
"Let her go." A voice called out from the distance.
Julia closed her eyes in silent relief. "Angel," she breathed.
The man stepped briefly away from her, pulling out for the first time that night. "Excuse me?" He said to the new comer.
"You heard me. Let her go."
"This is none of your business boy; I'd suggest you leave before you get in over your head."
Angel smirked and stepped forward slightly. "I think it's the other way around." Before the man knew what hit him Angel had reached out and stabbed him in the neck. His greasy body dropped to the ground in a heap, spraying a small amount of blood on Julia's pale face. Angel just kicked the body aside though and looked at Julia who was busy staring at him in masked confusion.
"Thanks." She said a little unsure of herself. Pulling down her skirt, she tried to straighten her clothes before leaving, already thinking about her next client.
"Where the hell do you think you're going?" Angel's hand bolted out and grabbed her before she could get out of the alley.
"I have a job in about thirty minutes." She looked him straight in the eye, not showing an ounce of fear.
Angel laughed, but it was hallow. "You actually think I'm going to let you go? You sold out my daughter to Leon Julia. There's no way in hell you're getting off that easily."
"If you're so pissed off, then why did you save me? Why not let him kill me?"
"Because," he answered pushing her back up against the wall. "I have other uses for you." Leaning in he licked the tiny pinpricks of blood that marred her face, pressing into her.
Connor stood in the dark corner of the alley as he saw Angel take the woman, saw her try with all her might to fight him off, but he was to strong. He just held her arms over her head and continued.
"He's gone insane." Connor had said later that night to Mark.
"He's had a lot to deal with lately."
"It still doesn't justify it. The things he does…" Connor shook his head. "If he didn't save as many damn lives as he did then I'd kill him myself." Connor went back to sharpening his stake, trying to keep his mind off of the possibilities of what his father was doing at the moment.
"Connor!" Two men came in the room carrying an unconscious Angel between them.
"What happened?"
"He tried to go after Mira." One stated with hesitancy.
As if Angel had heard the man, he shot up from his position on the couch, breathing heavily. Barley even taking a second to recover he bolted out of the room and back into the darkened streets. It only took a moment before Connor was running after him.
"Where are you going?" He yelled as he struggled to keep up. Angel didn't answer though, he just ran until he reached the gates surrounded Leon's domain. As if he ran into a wall, Angel was repelled backwards, hitting trashcans in his decent. It didn't stop him though. Over and over again he ran straight for the gate, fighting to break his way through, and failed each time.
"Angel stop!" Connor was able to grab his arms and pull him away. "What the hell are you doing?"
"She's still alive Connor! He's keeping these girls alive. I have to get to her." He struggled to get out of his son's grip, but he was too weak to do much of anything.
"What do you mean she's still alive?"
Angel shoved Connor away and started running his fingers over the invisible wall. "I got in. They wanted me to get in so I could see it. I… I followed one of the vamps and made it all the way to the main entrance hall before I heard her screams." He started pounding on the wall again. "God… I… I have to get to her. She was calling for me. I can't leave her there. I can't… I can't… I can't…." He sunk down to the ground in defeat, not knowing what else he was supposed to do. And Connor, feeling just as helpless sat with him.
The finale flash that came didn't send me a new memory. Instead it shot me bolt upright in bed, staring directly into Julia's dark eyes. Tears were streaming down my face and I didn't even know it. All the pain, all the guilt. I couldn't stand it. It felt like it was consuming me, suffocating me. Seeing no other choice, I got up and ran out of the room into the bleakness of day.
Authors Note: I worked really hard on this chapter so I would really appreciate it if you could give me a review on it. Thanks so much.