Daniel was lying on his back with his eyes closed, too sick and tired to move.
He knew where he was. If he'd open his eyes, he'd see the white, glowing ceiling and the twelve dark stone walls surrounding him, each of them carved with a text he couldn't hope to understand.
He opened his eyes.
The ceiling wasn't glowing. It was white, but it wasn't glowing. It looked familiar. He had seen it before, many times, but not in the Dodecagon.
As his mind slowly started to take in the surroundings, he noticed that something was really off about the way he was breathing. Or rather, the way he wasn't breathing himself. It felt vaguely distressing. He wasn't doing anything at all, but air was flowing in at regular intervals. His mouth felt odd--something was in it, going through it, down his throat. This was different from everything he'd felt before.
He tried to lift his head slightly, and found that he could actually do it.
He looked ahead, and saw it all. Himself. The wires, the tubes and the blood, flowing into him and away from him and he didn't even want to know where it was going or where it came from. He couldn't stand it. Though he was still in the room, still here, still in the present, the memory of the Dodecagon and his blood falling on him like rain was too strong.
His head fell back on the pillow and he closed his eyes tightly. Suddenly, the thing in his mouth, the fact that he wasn't breathing on his own, became more than odd and annoying. It was frightening. He tried to fight against it, tried to breathe faster, tried to cough, anything to get away from it.
"Daniel?" a voice cut through to his thoughts. "Danny, it's all right, just relax." It was Jack's voice. He remembered hearing it before, not long ago, but he had thought it had been a dream, a hopeful hallucination when he'd been alone in the Dodecagon.
Alone in the Dodecagon, drowning in blood, God, he couldn't breathe-
Bits and pieces of conversation filtered through to his panicking mind.
"Doc, I think he's-"
"-shouldn't be happening--coming around too soon-"
"Daniel, can you hear me-"
"-so much sedatives and painkillers in his system already--can't possibly give more than-"
"-switching to SIMV mode-"
He tried to move his hands, maybe he could tear off some of the things, get away from it all, but he couldn't move, strong hands were keeping him in his place, and he was unable to do anything but struggle feebly, try to twist his body-
Something had changed about breathing, he was getting some air when he tried to do it himself, but it still felt wrong.
He wanted to yell at those people who were talking, tell them to do something, but he couldn't-
"-this is what we're going to do--...ready at hand-"
"Doctor, that's...--you sure?--I don't-"
"What you think doesn't matter, it's my call. Daniel? I'm going to take the tube out, but I can't do it if you're not with me in this."
Daniel heard that. Yes, he wanted to get it out. He would do whatever to get there. He fought to get in control of his body, and forced his head to move in a nod.
Someone was lifting the back of his bed so he was almost sitting up.
"All right, are you ready? This is going to feel a bit nasty-"
Daniel just nodded again. Just do it already.
Then someone was tugging at the thing in his mouth, and there was the disgusting sensation of that long tube sliding up and out, and he coughed and gagged and was sure he'd suffocate-
And then it was over. "Well done, Daniel! That's it," that Doctor was speaking to him again--Lam--Carolyn Lam, that was her name, he knew that. She was the new chief medical officer at the SGC.
He was at the SGC. In the infirmary.
Someone pressed an oxygen mask over his face, and he breathed in greedily. On his own. Though his throat felt like sandpaper, this was much, much better than before.
"Everything looks good--he's stabilizing. Looks like you might've made the right call after all. My apologies, ma'am," someone said a bit farther away, the same voice that had protested to Lam earlier. Daniel recognized it as well. It was one of the oldest nurses, an experienced one who always seemed to know more than anyone else and had an opinion on everything.
"Get a chest X-ray, we've got to check he didn't displace anything when he was thrashing around," Lam told her in a lower voice, but Daniel heard it nevertheless. He tried to ignore it. He didn't want to know why and what there'd be in his chest that he could've displaced.
But he was anxious to know where he really was, and when, and what had happened to everyone, and he still couldn't speak with a mask over his mouth. He opened his eyes again and tried to move, just a bit, just to show them that he was still here.
Jack was right next to him, so low that he had to be sitting. He looked around, and saw someone else, looking taller, standing at the other side of his bed. Another man. Mitchell.
"It's all right. We're back at the SGC. Our SGC, our place, our time, our universe, and everything's fine," Mitchell told him. "Sam and Teal'c are fine, I'm fine, and you're going to be fine too."
No mention of Galen or Max. Daniel frowned.
"Oh, and Galen and Eilerson have left already. Got enough of this place, I guess. Can't say what they were up to, since they never told us, but I'm sure they're fine too."
"So, yeah, basically they just stole the gateship and went through the gate back to the Do..." Mitchell was explaining to Jackson. They both flinched when he started to say the name, so he quickly changed it to, "back to that place."
"I can't believe it," Jackson shook his head.
He was looking a lot better now. He was still pale, his hands and face still carrying the occasional spot or bruise, but he was on his own, finally. During the last few days, they'd gradually removed every single tube with blood, leaving just a regular IV fluid thing and a few wires and monitors.
"I couldn't believe it either, at first. But I saw it with my own eyes. I knew it all along that trusting them wasn't smart. On the other hand, you wouldn't be here now, without Galen's help."
"But we had to trust them. We didn't have much other choice. Anyway, it wasn't just because of him that we survived. You were the one who kept the whole operation in order. Took the lead."
"Yeah, and I think we'd all have gone stir crazy without Teal'c's constant, steady and very sane presence, and if Sam hadn't figured out we could use the gateship, we'd never have gotten out--and most of all, it was you and Eilerson who managed to open the walls, and without that, none of the rest would've mattered. That's what I call teamwork. SG-1's always been the model example of it."
"So, we're going to be SG-1 again," Jackson sounded a bit hesitant about that.
"I'd like that. If you're all okay with it."
O'Neill had just left back to the Pentagon. He could only take so many days off on personal grounds. For a moment, they'd had the old SG-1 right here, and Mitchell had once again proved the strong bonds between those four. He'd become more certain than ever that there was no way anyone could imagine he was actually going to replace O'Neill. He'd do things his own way. He wanted to lead SG-1, and after this ordeal, he really thought he might be able to handle it, too.
"Right. I think I'll just rest a few more days before our first off-world mission..."
"Right, Jackson. Lam says at least two weeks before you can get back on active duty."
The second he heard the approaching footsteps, Daniel looked up from the book he was reading. It was that nurse again. The one who'd take the blood sample. He shivered at the idea.
He'd spent a whole week in the infirmary. The first days were a complete haze, he'd been unconscious or asleep most of the time, too sick to do anything at all. Still, he couldn't forget the nightmares, and he couldn't stand seeing blood. His blood, flowing out of his body...
As the nurse stuck the needle into his arm, he closed his eyes tightly and concentrated, tried really hard to think of something else. Of course, when she moved in to take his vitals, she had to note, as usual, that his pulse was a bit fast and BP a bit high. Not like he didn't know it. Just the thought of having blood drawn made him nervous. More than that, downright scared. He knew it was ridiculous, childish, and that was why he didn't even say it to her.
The nightmares would still come to him, every single night. Not just about the blood, but about the walls as well. The twelve walls around him. They weren't closing in, weren't moving, just stood there. He was trapped inside and couldn't get out. He'd wake up in the middle of the night, trembling all over. And then he'd see the four walls around him here, and wouldn't feel any better. Two weeks in here. A whole week left. So, when he'd be physically all right and they'd let him out, he'd be a total wreck mentally.
The nurse left. She'd report it all to Lam, and the next time Lam would come to see him, she'd ask if he wanted to talk about it. He didn't want to. They'd just call MacKenzie or some other shrink he didn't want to meet.
He gazed at the book again, but a second set of footsteps announced another arrival. He wondered if the nurse had forgotten something. Annoyed, he turned to look.
It wasn't the nurse. It was Jack.
"Dannyboy. How's it going?"
"Great, Jack. And good to see you."
"Great. That's great. I heard the latest from Lam, and she thinks you're doing great too. Told me that there'll be no lasting effects from this after all. The last time I saw her--what was it, five days ago?--she was half worried you'd need a kidney transplant or something."
"I never heard that."
"I told her not to tell you."
"Ja-ack..."
"Anyway, she was so happy that I managed to convince her to let you out for a bit."
"Out? As in, to the cafeteria? Or, out-out? Really, out of the SGC?"
"That. Out of doors."
"I can't believe she allowed that."
"Oh, she gave me a pretty impressive list of do's and don't's. But in general, she thought it'd be good for you."
"She's not forcing me to take a wheelchair, is she?"
"You think you're up to walking? Just a bit?"
"Sure. I've walked to the bathroom and back a few times already... Right. So I might not be up to a hike, but I don't want to be pushed around like I can't take care of myself... I'm not that sick anymore, Jack. Honestly."
"So, you'll just sit in the chair until we're out of here. It's not like I'm not going to follow her list to the letter. Just don't tell her."
Daniel's best guess had been that they'd be going to Jack's cabin, though he couldn't imagine who Lam would've allowed such a long trip. Once they were topside, they got into Jack's car, and started driving. And Jack wouldn't tell where they were going.
"It's a surprise," he said. "But it's not far."
Daniel watched the landscapes they were passing. It was wonderful to be out of the infirmary. Wonderful to be out just in general. Out, where there were no walls anywhere near him. They took a few turns he'd not anticipated, driving into a direction he couldn't figure out.
They ended up following a small dirt road through a forest. By the time they got wherever it was, it was starting to get dark outside. And they were still in the middle of the woods.
Jack helped Daniel out of the car. His feet welt so weak that he had to lean on Jack for support. It was embarrassing, but it was better than the wheelchair. Not that they'd have done anything with wheels here anyway, considering the narrow trail where Jack was leading him.
"Jack, please—where are we going?"
"We're almost there, don't worry."
Good thing that they were almost there. Daniel was getting exhausted already, out of breath, though they were walking slowly. After a few more steps, he had to ask for Jack's help again, so they went on even more slowly, Daniel's arm around Jack's shoulders.
He saw a light shining through the trees, and a moment later, they entered a small opening in the forest. A camp fire was lit in the middle of it, and around it sat three people--Sam, Teal'c and Cam. As soon as they saw Daniel and Jack, they cheered, and started talking, all at the same time.
"Way to go, Jackson! Welcome back."
"I hope you are not overly exhausted, Daniel Jackson?"
"Daniel! How was the trip?"
"Hey, all," Daniel answered timidly, and sat down by the fire as well.
"We figured out you'd appreciate a moment outdoors. Out of walls," Mitchell added, as an explanation of sorts.
"I really do. Thanks, guys."
Could they possibly know what he'd been thinking? About the nightmares? The feeling that he was trapped inside? He could imagine they might feel something like it too. All of them except Jack. But Jack might've guessed anyway.
They spent a few hours just sitting around the fire, talking, eating a bit--Lam had given strict orders on what Jackson must and must not eat, but they ignored most of it. Figured out that if he'd survived the Dodecagon, he'd survive O'Neill's camp cookings too. But he did skip Mitchell's chili. Told him that if it was strong enough to make Teal'c's hair stand on end, he wouldn't touch it. That was slightly exaggerated, of course, but Mitchell was cool with it anyway.
They made a huge show of wrapping and tucking Daniel in his sleeping bag, with extra blankets close at hand in case it'd get cold. They even forced him to wear a woolly hat and a scarf.
Somewhere along it all, Mitchell realized he'd stopped thinking of the others as "the SG-1" as opposed to himself. The first time when Jackson had almost died in the Dodecagon--so long ago, and still, less than two weeks--Mitchell had felt like an outsider. He'd stood away and let Carter and Teal'c take care of Jackson. Now, he was fussing about taking care of Jackson together with the rest of them, just as overly protective as everyone else.
He didn't know if the others saw it that way, but he felt like he was a part of this family now.
They stayed awake and watched over Jackson and waited. It didn't take long before he fell asleep, a vague smile on his lips.
O'Neill turned to look at Mitchell and gave him a conspiratorial wink. Carter and Teal'c nodded.
"So, welcome to the gang, Cam," O'Neill told him.
So, it wasn't just him. They welcomed him to the family, too.
Daniel slept soundly for the first time since they'd gotten out. No nightmares. No walls.
He knew that if he'd open his eyes, he'd see the wide night sky, sprinkled with stars, and the trees, continuing into every direction, the forest everywhere around him, full of life, and his friends, his family, right next to him.
They'd tried to say it to him before--he couldn't even count all the times Jack had sat at his bedside and told him that "Everything's going to be all right". Now, he could finally believe it himself.
Everything was all right.
THE END
Author's Note: I'm a bit shocked about this myself, but this really is The End. Last Chapter. That's just how it came out. I'm not sure what I think about it. Feeling a bit exhausted. This is the single longest thing I've ever written in English (which isn't my first language). Jeez, actually, I don't think I've ever written anything this long in my first language, either. I hope you've enjoyed the ride as much as I have. ;-) Whatever you thought about it, please let me know. Any comments are very, very much appreciated.
A few random mentions of where some of this came from:
This story was vaguely inspired by that really disturbing movie, the Cube. I wonder if anyone noticed. That's where the geometrical name came from, in the first place.
As to how I first came up with the idea of a Stargate/Crusade-crossover, that was all because of a few words in the Techno-mage trilogy book "Casting Shadows". At one point, Isabelle says these words to Galen, answering his question of what she knows about the tech:
She looked up at him, her face soft in shadows. "Not much. Not yet. But Burell has. I've managed to read a few of her notes. She's discovered that the tech accesses a mage's own energy in order to sustain itself, but for conjuries it uses the zero-point energy of space itself as a nearly limitless energy supply. It's just the tip of the iceberg. But it's a beginning."
And in Stargate, they've got these things that happen to be called Zero-Point Modules. So, zero-point energy is the basis of both Galen's magic and the Ancient's technology.
And, in case you're interested: I'm not planning on writing any Crusade fic right away after this, except for that possible Galen & Eilerson's POV for this story. I've got a few more Stargate stories waiting to be told. I haven't written an all-SG-story yet, so it's about time. Someone better hide Daniel from me before he gets hurt again.