History Repeated – Part 7: Sweeping It Under The Rug
Waking up to the picturesque sunrise on Drovers Run brought back memories for Nick. He remembered how he and Tess had always watched the sunrise together. It was just something they did, a tradition, a ritual. They had watched the sunrise every morning of their married life.
He shook himself, trying to rid his mind of thoughts of her. He had to stop. Sally and the kids were his life now. He had to stop living in the past and start focusing on fixing the mess he had made in the present.
He needed to see Sally. He had to let her know that what happened with Tess was a mistake. But was it? Did he really consider it to be a mistake? At the time it felt so right. Nick felt like there was no other place he would rather be, not with his wife, not even with his kids. It felt awful admitting it to himself, but he really couldn't deny it.
"What the hell am I doing?" Nick muttered. He had no idea. He had to find a way through this. He needed to. All this uncertainty was driving him mad. He hated the mixture of feelings that were tearing at his heart.
Sally, she was his life. They had worked so hard at their marriage. They had built it up and made it strong over the years. Nick knew he couldn't just throw that all away.
But he didn't love Sally in the same way as he loved Tess. That spark, that little flame that burnt brightly within him whenever he was around Tess…. He didn't have one of those with Sally, he never had.
Nick had to pull himself together. It was imperative now. He had to be strong and put those feelings for Tess aside.
It was lust. That's what it was, pure lust. He had fallen out of love with Tess long ago. Lust was all it was, a lusty night of love making. He had to convince himself of that. There was no way he was going to walk out on another marriage.
"Nick?" Sally's voice struck him as he came down the stairs and into the kitchen.
"Sal," Nick let out a sigh of relief. He had no idea that seeing her would make him feel so good.
"I thought we could sit down… talk… if you're not busy"
Nick shook his head and motioned for Sally to take a seat, "no, no, its fine. Sit down." Even if he was busy, he would tell her he wasn't. He couldn't let her slip through his fingers.
"Nick," Sally said in a soft voice. "Despite what you did, I love you, and I don't want to lose you. I know we've been stuck in a rut for a while… I can understand why you felt you had to-"
"No," Nick interrupted. "Sal I didn't go looking for her… I could never do that to you. What happened between Tess and I was a mistake. It didn't mean anything to either one of us. You're my wife and I love you."
"If we're going to get past this, Nick, I need to know that you're 100 percentcommitted. I don't think I could handle it if-"
"I am, Sal," Nick reached for her hands. "I am."
Sally nodded, "Good… Nick… I'm sorry about the awful things I said yesterday-"
"You were upset, Sal," Nick said, stroking her hands.
"That's no excuse"
"It's in the past now," Nick stood up, pulling Sally up with him, and into his arms. "Lets just focus on cleaning up the mess I've made of our lives, and look to the future"
And he meant that from the bottom of his heart. He had to forget about Tess McLeod once and for all. She was nothing but an ex-wife. She had his heart, but he would have to ignore that.