Broken Dreams 3?

Dedication: To Manda for giving me a great idea, and to Ness for getting me off my ass!

Previously:

"It's happening Mum." Jo cried. "It's happening." She buried her head in Bev's shoulder.

"Oh sweetie. I'm so sorry. Come on inside. We'll make some tea and we'll talk about it. Then first thing tomorrow I'll take you to the hospital."

"Thanks Mum." Bev led Jo inside and settled her down on the couch.

"Come on sweetie tell me all about it. What happened?" Bev handed Jo a cup of warm tea and sat beside her.

"Well about a month ago I started getting sick. At first I thought it was just the flu or something but when a week passed I knew that it was something more. So then I thought I might be pregnant because at the time I was sleeping with…someone. So I thought I would go and get tested for that. When I got home that night I realised that I wasn't pregnant because I was…bleeding."

"Oh sweetie." Bev hugged Jo tight as she continued her story.

"That's when I remembered what the doctor said when I was 12 and I knew. I didn't have to wait for the test results to know that I wasn't pregnant. When I got home I noticed I was bleeding and I knew straight away. I had to get out of there mum. I didn't know where else to go so I came here." The tears poured from Jo's eyes.

"It's okay sweetie. Drink your tea and I'll run you a nice warm bath to make you feel better.

"Thanks Mum."

"It's okay Jo. You'll get through this. It may seem hard at first, but you'll pull through. I know you will."

"Even if I do…I'll never be able to have children again."

"Jo…listen to me, you are going to have children, and I know you are, look at me. I've had two beautiful children after I had my operation. You just have to be positive."

"I'm trying mum I really am. It's just so hard." Bev wrapped Jo in a hug.

"I know it is hard sweetie but you're going to pull through. It took me a while but I pulled through and look at where I am now."

"But this is different. You had Dad when you were going through it all. I have nobody."

"Jo don't say that. NEVER say that. You've always got your Dad, and me and I'm sure once Nick finds out he'll be back here in a flash. You've got us Jo, that's all you need."

"I know Mum I know." Jo hugged her mother tight. Bev was right, she had her family, and that's what mattered most. But she couldn't help feeling that things would be better if she had PJ there with her.

"Peej." Alanna giggled as PJ fumbled with the lock on the front door whilst groping his latest 'floozy'. As soon as she said that PJ stopped in his tracks. The only one that had ever called him Peej was Jo. Then it hit him. 'What am I doing?' the thought. 'my best friend has gone missing and could be hurt and I'm here with…this blonde bimbo. What was I thinking?' he turned to face Alanna and took his arm from around her waist.

"I'm sorry Alanna. I cant to this?"

"What?" She took a step back, feeling a little hurt. "What do you mean you can't do this? You've been coming on to me all night and now you decide to tell me that you cant do this? What is your problem?" She shouted.

"Look I'm sorry okay. It's just…my best friend has gone and I just don't think I'm in the mood. Let me give you a ride back into town."

"Oh hell no. I aint going anywhere with you now. You've blown your chance. I think I'll walk thanks." With that Alanna turned and walked back up the driveway.

"Shit!" PJ cried. "What the hell is wrong with me? It's not like I love Jo or anything." He said to himself

'Then why the hell did you say no to Alanna? She's a dam fine woman." He heard his inner voice say.

"I don't know. I guess I sort of feel guilty. Like it's my fault she left."

'Finally you're getting it. You couldn't have realised this before you left the pub?'

"Oh shut up. I'm going to bed. I cant think about this right now.'

He walked inside and dumped his things on the cupboard in the front hall and walked into the kitchen. He looked into the fridge and pulled out an old box of pizza and threw it onto the table. Then he sat down with a sigh, opened the box and pulled a piece out. When he closed the box again he noticed that there was an envelope sitting in front of the fruit bowl with his name on it. He didn't need to look twice to know whom it was from. He slowly put the pizza down on top of the box and picked up the letter. As he pulled it closer to him, he noticed it still smelled like Jo. He held it to his nose and breathed in her smell. Then he carefully opened it and pulled out a small piece of paper.

PJ,

I'm sorry about everything that's happened in these past few months. You were right, sleeping together was a mistake. It was the biggest mistake of my life and I regret it just as much as you do. By now you would have noticed I'm gone, and I'm sorry I didn't get to say goodbye. Even after everything we've been through I still consider you a mate, but you hurt me and I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive you for that. Please say goodbye to everyone for me and have a happy life with whomever you choose. Please don't try to find me, because even if you do I'll just run away again.

Forgive me,

Jo.

He held the paper close to him and bit his lip to stop himself from crying.

"I'm so stupid. How could I have let this happen?" He thought to himself.

'You're right you are stupid. And you're even stupider if you believe what she said. Of course she doesn't regret sleeping with you, she loves you for Christ sakes.'

"And you think I love her too?"

'Hey mate; I'm just your conscience. I can't tell you how you feel. I can tell you though, if you do feel anything for her, anything at all, you'll find her and make things right.'

"And how am I supposed to do that if I have no idea where she is?"

'Think PJ, where would someone go if they were this upset, who would they need the most?'

"Her mother? Oh god. I'm never going to see her again. There is no way Bev will let me see her after what I did. What am I going to do?"

"You could at least try to see her. It is the thought that counts. If she knows you want to talk, then she'll probably want to listen.'

'You're right. I have to try…but what about work?"

'Hey if it means getting Jo back I'm sure the boss will have no problem.'

'Right. To Bev's place it is."

"Ok Miss Parrish. We've contacted St David's Hospital and it appears that your test results have come in."

"And?" Bev stood holding Jo's hand.

"It's not good. I'm afraid that you are showing the symptoms of Ovarian Cancer."

Jo buried her head in Bev's shoulder and started crying.

Well there you go. Another chapter. It may be short but hey at least now you know what's wrong with her. Please review quickly. I need my feedback! Lol Jess!