History Repeated Part 9: Coffee and Sympathy

"My, what a beautiful place you have here, Tess" Liz admired the luxurious apartment and its decor. "You've really got an eye for interior design."

"One of my hidden talents," Tess grinned.

Liz sat down as Tess brought the two coffee's over. "So tell me, who's the lucky man?"

"Sorry?"

"The baby's father, Tess. I'm so glad that you've finally been able to move on"

If only she had been able to. She couldn't believe that she was still obsessing over Nick. It was like he had infected her with some kind of bug. Well he had, hadn't he? The child was a permanent reminder of the way she felt about him–-the way she'd always felt about him.

"Oh... he's ah... he's not actually in my life anymore," Tess stammered. She knew inviting Liz for coffee was a bad idea, and she knew the questions would keep rolling.

"Oh that's too bad..." Liz was sympathetic. Although she and Tess had gotten off to a rocky start, they had managed to overcome their differences and were actually able to be civil around each other. Liz had accepted Tess was a Ryan, and Tess accepted Liz was her mother-in-law.

But then things had turned ugly when Nick and Tess' marriage broke up. She wondered if Liz would ever forgive her for so calmly, so cooly accepting that Nick wanted out. Tess remembered that Liz was very sympathetic towards her, at the time. She had been so bitter that she assumed her mother-in-law was only doing it to rub her face in itafter all Sally and Liz got on like a house on fire.

But maybe she was wrong? Maybe Liz really was sorry to see the marriage fall apart. She had been so kind, so remorseful about their troubled past on her wedding day.

Thoughts of Nick once again plagued her mind. Maybe she had been too quick to let him go. She should have held onto him tighter. Fought harder to keep him.

Tess wanted to go back and relive the moments that ultimately lead to the end of her marriage. Maybe things would've turned out differently.

But if she relived those moments, she would have to relive the pain that came along with them. She couldn't do that again. She wasn't capable.

Along with her heart, Nick had taken her strength.

Shoving the horrible memories from her mind, Tess turned to Liz, "It's probably best this way, Liz."

"Oh?"

Tess didn't know exactly what she was doing, but she needed advice. If anyone knew about sleeping with married men, it was Liz. The only other person who knew about this sort of thing was Claire, and talking to her wasn't exactly a viable option.

"He's married," Tess explained.

"Oh, I see," Liz paused for a moment as she recalled her own dilemma years earlier with Alex's biological father. She wondered what she could offer Tess in way of advice.

"You think I'm horrible don't you?" Tess asked as she fidgeted with the lace on the tablecloth.

"No, of course not," Liz said truthfully. "After all I've been there too, remember? These things happen to the best of us, Tess, look at Claire."

"Yeah but Claire didn't know Peter was married, Liz. I knew this guy was married when... well when we went to bed," Tess would have laughed if she was someone other than herself. This was the most ridiculous predicament she had gotten herself into for ages. She was talking to her ex-mother-in-law about bedding her son for gods sake!

"Yes, well..." Liz trailed off. "Maybe the best thing to do is find out for sure. Take the test, Tess."

"Now?" Tess asked. Was Liz really going to sit there and wait while she went into the bathroom and peed on a stick?

"Well you want to know for sure, don't you?" Liz asked.

Tess nodded, "I guess now's a good a time as any."

She wondered if she was on another universe. Liz Ryan was actually helping her. She hadn't said all that much, but just having her around made the world of difference. It was like Liz was cleaning the fog from her vision.

As she headed into the bathroom she called out to Liz, "Charlotte's probably in her room doing homework. I'm sure she'd be glad to see grandma Liz ."

Liz stood up, "Yes, I might just do that. Let me know when you've finished, dear."

"Grandma!" Charlotte exclaimed as she looked up from her work.

"Hello darling," Replied Liz as they hugged. "My, my, you're looking more and more like your mother every time I see you."

And it was true. Everyone had told her that often enough. Her blonde head of hair had gradually turned to that beautiful shade of dark brown that Claire had been blessed with.

"Two Ryan's in two months, that's gotta be a record," Charlotte smiled. First her Uncle Nick and now Grandma Liz, it was great, she thought.

"I beg your pardon?" Liz had no idea what the young girl was on about. It was obvious that she had inherited her vagueness from her aunt.

"Oh," Charlotte grinned, "We ran into Uncle Nick last month."

"Oh really?" Liz asked, sitting herself down on Charlotte's bed. "And how was he? We were meant to catch up for lunch while he was here, but he must've forgotten about that"

"He was okay... well I don't really know. I went riding with a friend, you see. He drove Tess home though... You know ever since then she's been acting really weird!"

"Weirder than usual?"

Charlotte laughed, "Yeah. She doesn't even want to come to Drovers for Christmas cos she might bump into him. I don't get it, why can't they just go about their own lives like they usually do? They've done it for years, what's different this year?"

"Well that's a shame, Charlotte," Liz patted her on the hand. "Maybe I can talk her into it?"

"Well I've already tried. She won't budge. And you know what? I asked Uncle Alex to try and talk her round, he said that we shouldn't push her! Can you believe that? He didn't even try," Charlotte puted.

That's odd, Liz thought to herself. Alex of all people would have loved spending Christmas with Tess. Why on earth would he just drop the issue like that?

And then the penny dropped.

"Charlotte..." Liz turned to her once more. "You ran into Nick when he was last down here on business, is that right?"

"Yep"

"So that would've been quite a few weeks ago now," Liz stood up and covered her mouth with her hand. If her calculations were correct, the baby Tess was carrying was her grandchild.

Liz wondered if she was going senile and just jumping to conclusions. Would Tess really go back down that road?

It dawned on Liz that she didn't know Tess at all. She would never know her intimately enough to guess her actions. But she did know her son. And if there was one thing she knew, it was that he had been silently pining for Tess over the years. Of course she had never confronted him over it, and he would never admit it, but Liz knew those feelings of longing existed.

"Grandma are you okay?" Charlotte's voice broke through Liz' thoughts.

Liz turned to Charlotte and smiled slightly, "Yes, yes... I was just thinking. Anyway dear I best let you get back to your homework. I'll be outside with Tess if you need anything."

And with that she was gone.

Tess threw cold water over her face in an effort to wash away her tears. The test had confirmed what had been in the back of her mind for the last few days. She was pregnant.

As the water dripped down her pail face she knew that she could wash the tears away, but she could never wash away the pain and shame she felt.

She had slept with a man who she knew was married. It was something she swore she would never do. She didn't think she even had it in her.

But she had. And now look where she was. She was up a creek without a paddle. She was up shit creek, in fact.

"Tess, dear, are you alright in there?" Liz' voice echoed through the bathroom door, hitting Tess like a rock. She'd forgotten Liz was there.

"Ah yeah... just a minute," She called.

She dried her face promptly and exited the room, dumping the pregnancy test in the bin, on her way out the bathroom door.

"I take it by the look on your face that your suspicions were confirmed?"

Tess flopped down at the table, "Yep."

Tess poured herself more coffee from the pot as she tried to think positively. She was pregnant with Nick's child. It was a blessing, not a burden, she told herself. She had always dreamed of being the mother of Nick's child... but she'd also dreamed of him being by her while she went through it. She didn't even know if that was possible now.

"Sounds like you have some big decisions to make," Liz too topped up her coffee. It looked as though she would be staying a while.

"I've already decided that I can't tell him," Tess told Liz.

"Are you sure you're not being too hasty, Tess?"

"Yes, I'm positive. He's happy with his life–-with his family. I won't wreck that for him"

"That's very admirable, Tess," And it was. Tess McLeod was putting Nick first, and putting herself last. "But don't you think he deserves to know?"

"Of course I do... but Liz... I... When I found out Sally was pregnant with Harrison..." Tess stammered a little. "I don't want to do that to someone else because I know how much it hurts."

Liz shook her head. The girl had grown over the years. But she couldn't just sit back and watch her grand child grow up without a father.

"Tess. You'll need help"

"I managed fine with Charlotte. I can do it again"

The girl had guts, that was for sure. She was a true McLeod. A battler.

"I mean during the pregnancy... a support person"

Tess nodded, "I'll be okay"

"I'd like to help, Tess"

Tess stared at Liz in disbelief. Had she just imagined that, or had Liz really offered to be her support person?

"Oh come on, Tess," Liz smiled. "I know we aren't exactly best friends but I would like to help. Maybe it will bring us closer."

Tess nodded. She really was on another universe. Not only had Liz offered to be her support person, but Tess had decided to accept the offer, "Okay... thank you, Liz. And your right, it might bring us closer."