History Repeated - Part 13: Saying is one thing, doing is another.

Tess pulled over to the side of the road, "What am I doing?" She couldn't just waltz over to Wilgul and say, "Hey Nick, guess what? I'm pregnant."

There was no way that she could do it. It was ridiculous that she had even contemplated telling Nick the truth. She had principles to stand by. No way was she going to become a home wrecker.

"Bloody Alex," Tess cursed. How could she have listened to him, let alone let him talk her into this! Had she gone mad?.

Tess took a deep breath then pulled back onto the road. As she spun the car around, she noticed a familiar vehicle coming from the distance.

"Great," It was Nick.

She pulled over yet again, after Nick's continuous beeping had gotten to her. She wasn't in the mood for another argument. But it's not like she could keep driving. The beeping of his horn would most definitely drive her mad.

"What is it Nick?" Tess asked as she met him in the space between the two vehicles. "I don't have time to have another roadside argument with you. Don't you think we've had enough of those already?"

Nick nodded, "Yeah. But I don't want to argue. I want to apologise for what happened before."

"Okay," Tess agreed. "Go ahead."

"Seeing you again... it was a shock. I shouldn't have been so unwelcoming," Nick said sincerely.

"That's right," Tess agreed. "You're the one who said that I shouldn't be a stranger, Nick."

Nick looked down at his feet for a moment, "I know." He had said and done a lot of things in the past few months that would come back and haunt him. This was one of those things.

"But I think you might need to be Tess," He told her softly, looking at her again. "I think we need that distance between us again."

"Right," Tess nodded.

"I really want to work things out with Sally, Tess," Nick stated.

"I see," Tess was incredibly hurt by Nick's lack of respect for her feelings. Could he rub it in her face anymore? She felt sick. She wondered if it was just the morning sickness again, or if it was the thought of Sally and Nick together.

Tess wanted to laugh. She was an idiot. She loved Nick so much that she was keeping his child a secret, just to keep his life with Sally together. But at the same time, she was jealous of his life with Sally. Sometimes she wanted to tell Nick about the baby just to break him and Sally up.

But thinking about doing something and actually doing it were two very different sides of the coin. Tess knew that.

"I think maybe it's best if you and I only see each other when it's vital, Tess," said Nick. He could see the hurt in her face. It was killing him.

"How about we just revert to old habits, Nick?" Tess suggested. "Maybe we shouldn't see each other at all. I mean we went for years without contact and it worked fine."

Nick shook his head at the thought, "I don't want to go back to that."

"You want to work things out with Sally, but you still want me in your life, is that it?" Tess quizzed. She wondered how that would work. Sally was crazy jealous of her, just like she was crazy jealous of Sally. "I don't understand how it works," said Tess.

"Look," Nick let out a sigh. He didn't know how to explain himself. Tess knew exactly how he was feeling, but was taking everything the wrong way. "We've made our choices right? We both have our separate lives... sometimes our paths will cross..."

"Nick I don't know what you're saying," Tess admitted. For once in her life he had her puzzled. He really wasn't making sense. Did he want to see her or didn't he?

"I don't want to see you unless its absolutely necessary," Nick finally said. "Having you around... Sally tends to-"

"Right," Tess nodded her head. "What you're saying is that having me around is causing a rift in your marriage? That's fine, I'll stay away."

"I don't want you to stay away entirely though," Nick said as he took a step towards her.

"I won't," Tess answered. "I'll see you when something vital happens, Nick."

Tess was pissed off now, and Nick could see it.

"I didn't mean to upset you, Tess-"

"You tell me you don't want me to be a stranger. I assumed that meant you wanted my friendship Nick! Now you're saying you don't want to see me unless something vital happens! Vital is when someone dies Nick!"

"You know a friendship isn't possible, Tess," Nick said calmly as he took her hand.

"Because of Sally?" Tess asked.

"Because of everything," Nick replied. It wasn't just Sally, it was his feelings toward Tess as well. He couldn't even look at her without wanting to kiss her. He couldn't be around her when he was in love with her. "Because of what happened," He continued.

Tess met his eyes with her, "I guess I'll see you when something vital happens."

As Tess moved back towards her ute, Nick called out, "I'm sorry Tess."

Tess had tears spilling down her cheeks by now. Those bloody hormones wouldn't let up!

"No you're not," She spun around to face him again. "Remember what you said to me? You said that you wanted me, not Sally."

"And as I recall, you turned me down," Nick remembered. "Don't tell me you've suddenly changed your mind?" Nick was now dripping with sarcasm

"You can't just say that sort of thing to someone then take it back, Nick!" Tess told him shakily. "Or was it all just a bit of fun? You didn't have Sally with you in the city and you needed someone. How convenient it was that we ran into each other-"

Nick closed the gap between the two of them and took Tess by the shoulders. He looked down into Tess' eyes as he asked, "What do you want Tess? Do you want me to tell you you're right? Or do you want me to tell you that you're wrong? What do you want?"

What did she want? She wanted him! She wanted a father for her child!

She shook under his touch. She'd missed the feel of his skin against hers.

"I want to know how you feel," She whispered, looking up into his eyes.

Nick let her go and took a step back. Was that why she had come back, to find out how he felt?. "I feel like I've stuffed things, Tess," Answered Nick. "I had something good with Sally, and in one night all that went out the window."

That comment had knocked some sense into Tess. She was seeing clearly again. For a short moment, she was ready to tell Nick that she still loved him, no matter what the consequences were. Her mouth had been out of control, it had a mind of its own. Luckily she had snapped back into reality.

"Okay," Tess sighed. "I'll keep my distance so that you and Sally can work things out properly. I want you to be happy you know?"

Nick nodded, "I know that, Tess. And I want the same for you."

Nick watched her head back to the ute and hop in. Had he just made the biggest mistake of his life? Turning her away again? One day he would run out of chances with Tess. What would he do then?.