Disclaimer: Justice League not mine.

First Steps

Chapter Five: Discussion

It was official. Dick Grayson, the superhero known as Nightwing, was exhausted. But this wasn't the usual 'Batman-running-Robin-ragged' exhausted. This was a brand new 'every-muscle-in-your-body-aches-and-your-eyes-may-actually-start-bleeding-if-you-don't-close-them-soon' type of exhausted. And, he had to admit, he had never been this tired before. He just wasn't used to being split in so many different directions. In fact, Dick was so tired, he could only think one thought at a time. The biggest being:

Why am I doing this?

This thought had been swimming back and forth through his head for the entire day, from when he got up in the morning, to when he was filling out reports for J'onn (and some other heroes he didn't even know), to his teleporting over to Bludhaven for his nightly patrol, and especially when he returned from said patrol. In fact, this thought continued to go through his mind as he stepped off the teleporter pad, nodding his silent thanks to the operator before heading to his quarters. Apparently, all teleportations were rerouted through to the orbiting Watchtower station before being sent on to their intended destination. Dick hadn't noticed.

As he reached his quarters and entered, Dick realised that he still hadn't checked up on Wally. He looked at his bed with yearning eyes, and then looked at his clock. Dick grunted in irritation as he realised his shift would start in a little under an hour.

Must have spent more time in Bludhaven than I thought.

Dick sighed, and turned from his bed, giving it one more sorrowful look over his shoulder before heading to the mess hall to get some coffee. As he walked down the corridor through the sea of colourfully dressed heroes, Dick realised he had unwittingly become part of the well oiled machine that was the Justice League. He no longer tried to avert his gaze from the heroes, rather nodding silently at those he knew and easily ignoring those he didn't. Before Dick could think any further on the subject, he was suddenly attacked by the noise of a busy mess hall.

He quickly went to the counter to get a cup of coffee, hoping not to get dragged into a conversation with some over friendly Leaguer. Remembering that Wally liked about 26 sugars in his coffee, he filled up two cups and grabbed as many packets of sugar as he could, before turning and heading to the infirmary. He tried to ignore the looks he was being given by the other heroes as he walked through the corridors with two cups of coffee and an armload of sugar packets.

So much for being an unseen part of the machine.

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"So how're you doing?"

Wally flashed one of his trademark grins. "Pretty good. Nothing a few burgers wouldn't fix. All they're giving me here is 'what I need'," he said, using his fingers to emphasise the speech marks.

Dick let a smile tug at the corner of his mouth. "I'll see what I can do."

"Thanks." There was a silence while he sipped his coffee. Dick could see him trying to hide the grimace. Obviously it wasn't 26 sugars.

"You can sit down, y'know."

Dick shook his head. "Thanks, but my shift starts in about an hour. Might fall asleep if I sit."

"You're that tired? What've you been doing?"

Dick shrugged. "I've been patrolling Bludhaven in my off hours."

"You've been what?"

"What? Don't you do the same with Central and Keystone?"

"Well yeah, but… I'm the fastest man alive. I'm supposed to be able to do that. No offence, Dick, but you're a normal guy. You need you beauty sleep."

Dick set down the coffee on the bedside table and crossed his arms. "It's no more than Batman does."

"So you're knocking yourself out to prove something to Bats?"

He gave Wally a glare. "No. I'm just saying that if he can do it, there's no reason I can't. Hell, I should be able to do it better, seeing as how I'm about fifteen years younger than him."

Wally raised an eyebrow under his mask. "You do know that Bats has no life, right?"

Dick relaxed and smiled slightly, rubbing the back of his neck in frustration, trying to unknot the muscles that were tightly wound there.

"I know, but… anyway, I'm not here to talk about my problems, I'm here to talk about yours. I haven't seen you for a week since it happened."

Wally avoided Dick's gaze nervously. "I don't really want to talk about it."

"My heart bleeds. Talk."

Wally sighed, a heavy, weary sigh, and then started talking. "All right… how much do you already know?"

"I know that Toyman blew up a car; and that the explosion almost killed you."

Wally smiled weakly. "Oh, is that all…"

Dick decided to take the risk, and sat on the chair next to Wally's bed. "Wally. Talk to me."

"Well, Toyman was about to attack me, threatening me and all that, when he suddenly stopped talking and started to leave. I tried to stop him, and this car-" Wally stopped to take a deep breath, closing his eyes as he did so, "-this car came around the corner. Toyman fired some laser at it, and I went to save the guy before it hit his car."

"And?"

"And… I didn't make it. But Supes got there in time to save the guy in the car, so…" Wally trailed off.

Dick waited for Wally to add something more, but it seemed that was all he was willing to divulge. But Dick wasn't happy with what Wally was willing to give him. He wanted to know what actually happened.

"Wally… what aren't you telling me?"

"How'd you mean?"

"Don't give me that. There's something you're not telling me, and I want to know what it is."

Dick noted that Wally couldn't look at him directly in the eyes. "Wally… what are you so ashamed of?"

"I uh… I need to get some rest."

Dick stared at the side of his friends head for a few seconds before rising. "All right. But if you ever need to talk…"

Wally smiled weakly as he looked at him. "Thanks."

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Dick stared out at the rising sun, the city of Metropolis casting magnificent shadows over the rest of the city. He let his legs dangle carelessly off the side of the Watchtower building, not minding the great drop that stretched out below him. As he had told an old friend once, Dick always enjoyed watching the sun rise in the morning.

The promise of a new day.

Dick smiled at the memory, the thought of those simpler, happy times making him feel better, at least for a short time. He hardly ever got to see the sunrise anymore, even before he joined the League. He had forced himself to get up this morning so that he could see it, needing some reminder that there was a time where he didn't have to worry about seven things at once; only his friends. Dick smiled at the irony of how it was one of his old friends from those simpler times that was causing him so much trouble. Dick grimaced, wiping the smile from his features. It had been two days, and he still hadn't gone back to talk to Wally yet.

But he would.

Dick wasn't used to his friends keeping secrets from him; he had made a vow after working with Batman that there would never be secrets between those he cared about. Much to his regret, he had broken that vow himself a few times; always rationalising his behaviour by spouting heroic phrases like; 'It was all for the greater good' and 'I did what had to be done'. And he hated himself for it, and his friends were never exactly thrilled when he did it, either. Even now, almost a decade later, he still hated himself for keeping secrets from his friends. He knew from bitter experience what they could do to relationships, which was probably why he never had any successful ones as Dick Grayson.

Dick was so involved in his thoughts and the sunrise, he didn't notice the presence of another person on the roof. That was, until the person in question was stood directly next to where he was sitting. Dick looked to see Shayera Hol stood next to him, gazing out into the sunset.

"Didn't know anyone else but me did this," she said, never once taking her eyes off the ascending ball of light.

Dick looked out at the sun and smiled.

"I used to do it everyday when I was a teenager." He looked over at her.

"You can sit down, you know."

She looked slightly surprised by the offer, but smiled politely and sat down anyway. "So… you worked with Batman, huh?"

"That's right."

She looked over at him, then her eyes widened slightly. "Oh, I'm sorry if..."

Dick smiled and shook his head. "No, it's fine. To be honest, you're the first person to talk to me about it. That's probably a record."

She smiled back, and turned back to the sunrise. Dick looked at her out of the corner of his eye, and marvelled at the sense of déjà vu he was getting. He half expected to look down and see the waves crashing against the old island, his old metal boots reflecting his face back at him. What was it with him, sunrises and red heads?

"So how do you know Flash?" she asked, knocking him out of his fond recollections.

"We're old friends. I knew him for years back when he was Kid Flash."

She looked over at him incredulously. "Kid Flash?"

He smiled. He could almost picture her teasing Wally about it later on. "Yeah. But we were pretty good friends out of costume too. We went to college together."

"So you know he's-"

"Wally West."

"Right."

They shared a long, comfortable silence, before Dick forced himself to break it.

"So, you're probably pretty close to Wally if he told you his secret identity."

"No… well yes, we are, but... he didn't… tell me," she responded, obviously discomforted by the memories. Dick decided to move the conversation along swiftly.

"Well, I just wanted to know because… well…" he sighed. "Do you know what's wrong with him?"

She looked up at him. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that there's something eating at him, and he won't tell me what it is." He studied her face. "You know, don't you? What is it? What happened to him to change him like that?"

"I don't think I can talk about it."

Dick clenched his teeth. He had had enough of people dancing around his questions. "If you don't tell me, someone else eventually will," Dick shot at her, then instantly regretted it. He sighed and put a tentative hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry. But if it's Wally you're worried about, I won't tell him who told me. I promise you."

She was silent. Dick sighed, stood, and turned to leave the rooftop. He was pushing the button for the elevator when she spoke.

"It happened during our fight with Luthor and Brainiac."

Dick didn't say anything; he simply turned to look at her.

"Everyone was down except for Wally. I'm not too sure on the specifics, but he ended up running faster than he ever had before. By the time I dug myself out of the rubble, he was glowing. There was this blue electricity everywhere, and he had this scared look on his face like something awful was happening. Then he…"

"Faded away?"

She turned to look at him in surprise.

"How did you…?"

"That's always been his biggest fear, ever since he was a kid."

Her eyes widened. "I had no idea…"

"Not many people do. What happened after he disappeared?"

She heaved a sigh. "We all thought he was dead. I mean, what are you supposed to think when someone fades away in front of your eyes?"

Dick remained silent.

"Anyway," she sighed, "J'onn told us he was still alive. Then this… portal opened, and I heard Wally's force talking about a…'Speed Force,'" She looked out into the sun so that all Dick could see was the back of her head. "We managed to pull him out eventually."

Dick nodded as the elevator arrived. Before entering, he put his hand over the door to prevent it from closing, and looked at Shayera's silhouette.

"Thank you."

He took a step into the elevator when she spoke again.

"One more thing."

"Yes?"

"He said that... if he ever went that fast again… he… wasn't coming back."

Dick nodded gravely, and entered the elevator, checking the time as he pushed the button labelled 'mess hall'. Fifteen minutes before his shift began. He took a deep breath and leaned against the wall, crossing his arms and lowering his head as he thought. He felt the satisfaction of facts slipping into place and beginning to make sense.

That was why Wally didn't save the man in the car in time. He slowed down out of fear. No wonder he seemed so ashamed.

Dick decided on a course of action. He redirected the elevator to the teleportation chamber, filled with a newfound energy and purpose.

Well oiled machine be damned.

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