Hi there, Erm here…back with yet another crazy attempt at fanfiction. I got this idea while reading a book for my English class…where one of the characters (who doesn't have a very good memory, but has a wonderful imagination) is telling bedtime stories to her daughter…but they're really, really messed up…which of course, made me think about what would happen if some TP characters were in these strange and unusual fairytales…and viola! my story is born. This chapter is just the prologue to give some sort of an idea of what's going on in real life before I embark upon the path of the strange, unusual, and decidedly freaky. I'll be back in a few days with the first of the weird chapters. So don't bother even asking questions about what's going on until I get chapter 1 up.

* Little side note before you start reading, if the title confuses you, which it probably already has, try looking at it backwards. *

Disclaimer: None of the characters, or the setting or pretty much anything belongs to Erm the Penguin. Even the idea for weird fairytales isn't hers. Got it?

selatyriaF

Prologue

The woman trudged wearily through the knee-deep snow, leading her faithful (if a bit temperamental) horse behind her. Brushing the few strands of her shoulder-length light brown hair out of her hazel eyes with her be-gloved hand, she glanced at the sun's position and sighed. Keladry was to have arrived at Mindelan for the holidays two days ago, but snowstorm after snowstorm had foiled her plans. Now she would be lucky if she arrived in time for the Midwinter celebration. Many long and tedious hours later, her home was in sight, and the sun had just finished sinking below the horizon. Thank you Goddess, Kel thought, I won't miss it after all. She came within shouting distance of the gates and bellowed to be let in before she froze to death. Her brother Anders was there and he chuckled as he opened the gate and welcomed his youngest sister home.

As soon as she had entered the hallway that led from the massive entrance to the rest of her family's house, Kel was set upon by her mother and sisters. (Her brother had conveniently disappeared directly after assisting her to get her gelding situated in the stables.) They took one look at the sodden, frozen form and began scolding her for not waiting till morning at some warm inn, all the while rejoicing that the family was finally complete. She was hauled to her room where they found warm dry clothes for her to change into, and then they pulled her from there to the cheery room downstairs where an enormous fire was crackling in the hearth. The walls were festooned with brilliantly colored decorations and everything seemed so bright and friendly. Keladry sighed, content, even if it was a bit cold in there. It felt so good to just be able to be with her family and relax, now that the war with Scanra was finally over.

Supper having been long over by the time she had arrived, her family brought Kel some choice leftovers to munch on as she sat by the fire. Anders was telling his youngest daughter, Meanne, a fairytale before sending her to bed. Kel smiled as she listened to him: the tale of Jack and the beanstalk had been one of her childhood favorites as well – she had never really enjoyed listening to stories of helpless princesses carried off by giants and incapable of doing anything until they were rescued by the hero. Admittedly, most court ladies were like that…but that didn't mean Kel had to listen to tales about them.

Kel stared at the fire and mused about what Dom had said to her as she was leaving New Hope, checking and rechecking that everything was going to be alright while she was gone. Watching her surreptitiously glance about for the ninth time just to make sure, he chuckled and told her that she needn't run around like a headless chicken yelping that the sky was going to fall. Everything was going to be perfectly fine until she got back, he promised. Remembering, she grimaced. I am not that bad of a worry wart, am I? It's perfectly normal for me to be concerned about New Hope while I'm gone. Isn't it?

Despite her warm clothes she suddenly started shivering uncontrollably. Her brother looked up from his story worriedly. "Kel, are you alright?" She stared right through him, glassy eyed.

Her mother hurried over and pressed her hand to Kel's forehead. "Mithros! You're burning up, Kel," she exclaimed. "To bed with you. Right now."

Weakly protesting that she was fine, really, she allowed herself to be led off to her chambers and tucked firmly into bed. Closing her eyes, she slipped into a fitful, fevered dream…

I was going to put the first story in the same chapter as the prologue, but I just wanted to get this part up and get some feedback (not necessarily on the plot, because you don't know what's happening yet…). Review anyway, just so I know that somebody has read it and wants to see what foolishness I come up with this time. Mea, did you notice? I put you in here! (well…its not really you, literally…just your name…you know I wouldn't cast my best friend as an eight year old!) Never fear, your namesake will be appearing later on in the story. Sorry if this story isn't humorous quite yet, but like I said…I needed this chapter to give a base for the rest of the story. Never fear, the randomness is coming very soon. Well…if you want the next installment soon, I guess I'd better go and start working on it.

Tune in next time for … Chicken Little and the Beanstalk!!! (or something along those lines…I haven't really come up with the finalized version of the title yet…)

Toodles!

~ Erm the Penguin ~

PS: REVIEW!!!!! (please?)