Once upon a time, in a land far far away, there lived a pair of Plushie-pillow-brothers who loved each other devotedly to the point where if you wanted one, you had to buy the other. They came 2 for one and you had to give your right arm and left leg, or suffer severe mental trauma just to get on the waiting list. After you got your State Alchemist watch, you could afford to get them shipped to your dorm.
EdPillow and AlPillow went everywhere together. They slept at the foot of the same bed, they sat together at the foot of the bed, they sometimes even faced each other for DAYS at the head of the bed.
One day, Their Owner, one Colonel Roy Mustang, woke up to find his pillow-Plushie-brothers Ed and Al one on top of the other.
He stared at the pillows for a moment, then jumped when the yellow one, EdPillow started vibrating! The Colonel rubbed his eyes, then stared as the blue one, AlPillow began to… moan.
"Nii-pillow"
"Al-fluff"
From the completely inappropriate sounds emanating from the pillows, the Colonel decided he'd been working too damn hard and needed a vacation. "I need to show this to the First Lieutenant." he muttered and dashed out.
He stumbled down the stairs and came upon a blonde woman with auburn eyes and blue uniform. As he stalked towards her, pajama bottoms hanging by a thread to his waist and top undone halfway, he latched onto her arm and dragged her to his dorm.
The first lieutenant managed to get a hold of her gun and cocked it, "Sir, its not Friday and I haven't had my cup of coffee yet. I suggest you get dressed before I need to plow your manhood off." she said, deadpan.
The colonel wasn't listening and the first lieutenant distinctly heard the words, "-think I've lost my friggen mind."
She sighed and tripped over the colonels feet as he literally shoved her into his room, she gave him her most intimidating glare, the one that put the fear of god into men's hearts, but blinked when he muttered and pointed to his bed, "My Plushie-Pillow-Brothers are in love with each other and getting it on in my bed!" he babbled hysterically.
The first lieutenant stared at her colonel, then looked back at the bed where two pillows looked back at her, one scowling, the other smiling.
She looked back at the colonel who waved his arms wildly, "Go on! Show her! I saw you two doing stuff to each other not five minutes ago!"
The Plushie-Pillow-Brothers remained immobile, as expected. The first lieutenant looked back at the colonel blandly, "sir, if this is another ruse to get some time off, I have to tell you that you haven't even finished the reports that were due last week to General Hakuro, not to mention the-" she was cut off by The colonel's frantic flailing, "LOOK!" he bellowed and pointed at the pillows again.
The leuitenant pondered this situation over for a moment then, cocked her gun and aimed it at the pillows.
The pillows just stared back at her.
She stared at them intently.
They stared back.
She suddenly rushed towards them and scooped them up in her arms, "I'll just take these off your hands colonel seeing as they seem to perturb you." she reasoned calmly and rushed out of the room.
That night, in wee hours of the morn, the Colonel could have SWORN he heard moaning coming from the rooms above. Sitting up in bed, he clutched the covers to his chest and stared, wide eyed into the darkness.
"Chuiiii" came the twin moans.
He was NOT going to think about what the leuitenant was doing, no he wasn't, so he turned back to his bead, dived under the covers and stuffed pillows over his head.
"Good God, now I see why they're so popular with the females."
The End.