Love is Complicated
JUST SO YOU KNOW: The ages of the characters are taking back a year (So just think that the story begins at the end of Season 3. Joey is 15, Dawson and Pacey are 16).
Pacey was standing in front of his boat. He was preparing to leave Capeside for the summer. This was it for Pacey. He spent months trying to win Joey over, but he was not… He was not Dawson.
How could he compare himself to Dawson? Dawson was kind, warm, gentle; he was Joey's soul mate. He was not half the man Dawson was. Pacey felt that he was vindictive, cold, demanding; he could not have been Joey's soul mate, they were nothing alike. There was no way they could end up together.
Pacey assumed Joey felt the same way. That is why she did not ask him to stay. She knew that did not belong together. Maybe this was the ending. Maybe this was how it was supposed to be. He just wished his heart did not heart as much.
Why did she let him go? Something deep inside of Joey's heart felt like she made the biggest mistake in her life. How did she go wrong? Maybe it was Dawson's speech at his parents' wedding.
Flashback at the Leary's after party. Dawson tapped his glass with his fork to begin his speech.
Dawson speaks, "The first time my parents got married, they were very young. They were just out of college. And umm, I remember looking at the photo album as a kid and I wondered why I wasn't in any of the pictures. It's hard when you love someone that much to imagine them having this entire life that you weren't even there for. And I have to say that being here today, experiencing this first hand, finally getting to be in all the pictures, I wouldn't trade this for anything. Cause I'd much rather be a part of what you have now than what you had then. That point where everything starts over again. And I think that's really what love means." While he is speaking, Joey begins to think about what Dawson is really saying, "That that you can forgive anything and start over with a new relationship and life. So, to my parents, who taught me that love does not conquer all. That love ends and begins again. Cheers." The people clap and clink their glasses.
Why did Joey let Pacey go? She wished Dawson would be able to forgive her if she did go with Pacey. Deep inside, she felt like Dawson and her already tried a relationship and it did not work. She had to move on, but why didn't she? She should be with Pacey right now.
She wasn't being honest with Dawson. She broke things off with Pacey, not entirely, but a large portion because she did not want to lose him as a friend. Even though they lived a creek apart, she felt like Dawson was her home. Every time she rowed to Dawson, she felt like she was rowing home to safety.
Dawson was a big part of her life. His house was her house and his family was her family. There was not a single important event that Dawson was not there for Joey.
Joey was so afraid of losing that. Looking at it now, if that wasn't the problem… and if she thought there was a chance that Dawson would forgive her, she may have chosen differently. He deserved to know that but she did not know how he would react.
Joey, who was in the shed, was spying on Pacey. Pacey was about to sail the seven seas. This was her chance to go with Pacey and start a relationship with him. Why was stuck inside this shed? She was stuck inside the box with Dawson.
Joey did not want to be stuck. She wanted to be free with Pacey. Why was she stuck in the paradoxical universe?
Pacey set sail that day and Joey never stopped him. Joey never had the chance to tell him that she loved him. Joey lost a part of her that day.