A/N: BLEACH ONESHOTS! Yay! Oneshots---many---I have all the episodes and 1-7 of the –english- manga.I've also read up to the latest available chapter (1...97?) so yesh...i am not a noob in Bleach anymore!

Rating: PG/K+...i'm not too sure about these new rating things still. So PG corresponds to whatever the rating is.

Genre: Angst

Pairing: Ichigo/Rukia

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or the plot, characters, and everything else. They belong to their rightful brilliant creators and so forth.

Note: i wrote this long before i got into the actual stuff about Soul Society (which now i am currently passed and to the latest released chapter and episode)...dont hurt me!

Bleach

Shinigami Guardian

Eyes stared awake, watching the ceiling with a confused expression. Beside the being, lay a stuffed animal, a bit unusual as it snored as it slept, unlike normal silent stuffed animals. And usually it would bother her, more past the point of annoyance, but somehow she let it slide, just for today. Clutching the covers more tightly she heaved a sigh, turning over in the bed, now gluing her gaze to the wall.

How long? She began to wonder out loud to herself, how long had it been? Briefly she tried to piece together the time she shared with her substitute Shinigami, having to rely on him much more then anyone else in her life. Months…she was sure. And although Rukia never would admit it; she had an attachment to the world.

To feelings…

To people…

To the human world she now wandered, felt, …loved even.

Her eyes screwed up hatefully. Try as she might to deny the human emotions Shinigami were trained to ignore, she was not one anymore. Far from it, and thus could not deny what her heart yearned for. She treasured the memories that were inscribed in her brain, the times she shared with Ichigo and his friends---her friends even. People she couldn't relate to, but people who generally cared.

A small smile formed on her lips. Nii-sama would be ashamed, its no doubt I will have to leave soon…or else I'll place everyone in danger. But there is still work to be done. Still Hollows and people to protect and pass on. Ichigo needs guidance… Ichigo needed guidance. Although the boy was supernatural with the overflowing powers he possessed, and could fight, he still had much to learn.

He was just naturally stubborn.

Why did I save him? Rukia rolled over once more, gently moving Kon to the far upper side of the bed, and curling up on the bed sheets. Was it duty? The duty to save and protect the innocent from Hollows like a true Shinigami of her rank? Was it pity because he was an unfortunate victim that unknowingly drew Hollows to his home? Or was it because I thought it was right? To save an innocent soul from being devoured and becoming a Hollow himself and a torment unlike any should suffer by?

Throwing the blanket off Rukia sat upright, idly rubbing the top of her left hand, ignoring the small gusts of wind that tousled her skin, becoming uncomfortable in the cold. She glared softly at the crack, an indication she didn't shut the door fully before she had retired to bed. With a sigh she pushed her form off the bed, pulling the sliding closet door back, expecting to see the snoring figure of Ichigo; like any night.

But instead, all she could see was a motionless body, sleeping on his back with the sheets neatly tucked over him.

Gazing curiously she watched and waited for the chest to lift and fall, but when a minute passed and nothing happened she gingerly walked further into his comrades room, quietly sneaking over to the orange haired boys form. "Ichigo…?" She whispered faintly, expecting the boy to wake up and scream at her for disrupting his 'precious sleep' that was truthfully hard to come by with the job of a Shinigami ever present.

Nothing. Not even a twitch.

Then it came back to Rukia, Ichigo had asked if he could take spirit form, apparently sensing some sort of disturbance and had run off, assuring her he'd be fine on his own and that it was just a ghost in need of passing. But that had been…

The Gigai's gaze shifted to the clock, mentally counting the hours. Four hours ago…what is that fool thinking? She mentally scoffed at the obnoxious teens recklessness that never failed to amaze her. Without a word she unbuttoned her shirt, silent and efficient she dropped the shirt and gathered her belongings from the bottom of the bed, dragging out a handful of clothes. And Froze. Then lifted her head to stare at Kons drooling plushie mouth and greedy bug eyes directed at her breasts. Fuming in rage she grabbed the modified soul and chucked him out the window. "I love you Rukia-chaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!"

Shrugging off the incident like it never happened (Oh, she added biting her lip, He will die for that…) Rukia quickly dressed into her usual plain school outfit and gathered her pajamas (actually, it was Ichigos sisters…) and tucked them neatly away. Rising to her feet she lifted her foot to the open window, confirming the fact that Ichigo had yet to report back safely. The window wasn't just an exiting and entering way to get in and out, but also to confirm that if it was closed, both were inside, if not, then it was an indicator the other had yet to return.

That, and Urahara tended to like coming through the window for any business. It didn't bode well for Ichigo that claimed the man was some sort of creepy stalker in a hat and sandals. She stifled a chuckle and jumped out, bracing her Gigai body appropriately for landing, placing her palms on the ground as she descended enough and began to run upon touching the surface.

Rukia didn't know how long she ran for. She didn't know how long---or how many times she had to stop and strain to listen for the sounds of battle, the howls of a Hollow, or the weeping and sobs of the spirits filled with regrets and remorse, unable to pass on. Any indication or way to find Ichigo was stumped, except to sense for his spirit power---and even as a Gigai it wasn't that hard, but it did require a moment to pin point.

THERE! She smirked and continued her run without question, passing the folks out for a stroll, passing the rows of trees, benches, and walls, until she came to a clearing. No, She corrected, a riverbank…why here? If he was out to finish business… The riverbank seemed to be the last place to be. There was nothing here…

Or was there?

Swallowing difficulty she clutched her jacket close to her chest, trying to add some sort of warmth form the cold air that beat at her body mercilessly. As a Shinigami, the feeling of wind, warmth, and cold didn't apply. And getting use to it once more took time. "Ichigo?" She descended the steps leading to the grassy area, stepping on the greenery, cupping a hand to her mouth. "Ichigo?"

No answer… Her shoulders slumped. Now that she thought of it, Ichigo willing to do battles without her, not doing order without her, and volunteering to do something without her (as opposed to a challenge) was completely unlike him. Let alone missing sleep that was an obvious sign of something being wrong. Now growing a tad worried she quickened her walk to a fast stride, gazing around.

"Ichigo? ICHIGO! If you don't here right this second I'll…!" She didn't finish her threat, but merely gazed ahead blinking twice having missed the Shinigami for blending in with the shadows night brought upon the human world. Filled with relief that the orange haired Shinigami wasn't devoured or hurt in anyway she fell back into a light walk, mouth curling.

Thus began her tirade…

"What do you think you're doing? You said you'd be gone for only a little bit, helping to finish business, and I had to get you after four hours of waiting!" She heaved and grinded her teeth upon finding the teen facing in the opposite direction. "Listen to me when I'm speaking Ichigo!" She reached up and grabbed the death god's shoulder, yanking him around to face her. "Now where was I---Ichigo?"

Her mouth was left agape with wonder when the substitute Shinigami turned around, his chocolate brown eyes holding anything but the fierce unbreakable determination. Instead what was left was a glossy coating of sorrow, wrapping around the iris and pupils. Heart nearly skipping a bit Rukia fumbled to think of something, problem was, what did this situation call for? When had she seen anyone like this? Maybe Renji during childhood once or twice…

But Ichigo? The teen that babbled about taking on everything with a single blow, with self proclaimed unmatched power and skill?

"Are you sick?" He didn't reply.

Shinigami's don't get sick. Rukia stop being human and thinking like a fool…

"Are you injured?" Again, no reply.

If he was injured, there would be some sort of cut. And he usually would be bleeding…

Stumped she reached forward, intending to grab the ends of the sleeve, and if anything, drag the teen home. But instead, she stopped, fingers barely touching the surface of the cloth that daunted every Soul Reaper. "It hurts Rukia…" Was the muted voice, the words sounding like a crystallized form of their former strong diamond like self. "It hurts…so much…" he continued, eyes gazing off into the far unseen, unfocused.

"Ichigo…?" Was there a time limit that she should have taken into account? The teen was only 15 with high spiritual power but with all this dumped onto him so suddenly… Cursing her lack of judgment she grabbed the ends of the teens sleeves, grimacing upon the touch with flesh---what would have been flesh. Cold…like Ice…

Was this normal behavior? "Ichigo…what hurts?" She inquired, surprisingly gently, unnerved by the lack of heat, lack of the spark that made the substitute Shinigami so alive.

Ichigo's gaze wavered slightly, dropping down to meet the black haired girls eyes, expression dull and sorrowful, "This loneliness….this life…this…" He paused, as if thinking of words to describe, "need to protect…when I know I cant. I don't have the power…the courage. I'm a coward…" Rukia arched her head back, eyeing the teen with a wary look.

Ichigo? Coward? Lonely? Lack of power and courage?

Double-checking she wasn't in some sort of horrible dream she pinched her arm, until the pain overrode the dull numbness from the cold. Not dreaming… She confirmed, why on Earth would he say something like that? That's not something he would ever say, or admit to even if his life was on the line. Win or lose, he'd charge in, to do whatever is needed. Although no one knew, she admired those things that Ichigo could do, that she could not.

Ichigo never held back. He just lacked experience. Rukia had the experience, but lacked the way to let go of holding back.

Mouth parting Rukia thought about how to go about the quiet self-admittance but closed it abruptly. She was not a charmer, nor a comforter, she never had or would be. Still… "Your not a coward Ichigo, why would you say that?" her brow furrowed angrily at the reply.

"Because I cant protect people. I try---I try hard to do this job. I try to be perfect, and insure everyone is alright in the end, even if it costs me a few wounds every now and then. But I really run away from the worst-case scenario. I cant take risks, I don't want to. I fear death—I don't want to sacrifice myself for this…commitment. This Soul Reaper work." Ichigo bowed his head, eyes falling to watch the grass rustle amongst the sharp winds.

"No ones perfect Ichigo. People make mistakes. Even those of the Soul Society make mistakes its compl---"

"No its NOT! Because of me, looks what happened to you! You cant return to that Soul Society place---you don't have your powers because I have them. And without your guidance I'd be the next meal for some Hollow!" Ichigo backed away, raising his hands slowly to his face. And it was then Rukia understood what was wrong.

He's kept everything bottled up. Taking all of this like yesterdays news and pretending like it never bothered him. I know his life has been turned upside down, and that its hard to confide in anyone else…and that this work…is not easy---perhaps I've been to harsh and expecting to much? But he blames himself for all of it…

Rukia's curious expression faded to a sad smile Idiot. Always blaming yourself. When will you grow up? Not everything can turn up good… "Ichigo…" She breathed, stepping closer to the teen, near to a nervous breakdown. It was shocking, yes, that Ichigo was capable of blowing up---despite being so cool and accepting. It didn't help matters that his mother was dead; his family could not comprehend his life.

That he has to hide everything…lie to everyone…just to protect them…

"Ichigo…" She grabbed the teen's wrist, pulling him back towards her, reaching up with her other free hand to pull away the covering hand over Ichigos face. For the first time, she felt guilt staring into the chocolate moistened eyes. He looks so lost… her brow furrowed once more and decided it was probably time for some serious counseling and resolve of issues. Gently she tugged on the Soul Reapers sleeves and brought him down to her height, a bit thankful she didn't have to continually look up---god she hated being short.

"Now you listen to me. Don't turn a deaf ear this time, cause I wont repeat myself." Rukia was more then aware that to any passerby she would look as if it was air she was yelling and consoling, oh well… "You are a Shinigami, you inherited my powers due to me not being fully aware. Live with it. I can regain my abilities over time---it's just that. Time. I don't know why you need to make it sound like some big deal, sure I was pissed off in the beginning, but…" She paused, the bitterness from anger leaving her mouth.

Ichigo was staring at her.

"And stop staring at me like some kicked lost puppy! What's wrong with you? It was only a few hours ago…." Rukia reached out, hesitantly laying a hand on the others cheek, and patted it softly. The reaction was a little more unprepared for when the teen suddenly slumped against her. In which case she had to hold onto the teen, wondering just why the cold air suddenly got hotter.

Human…emotions?

"Ichigo? Ichigo?" Her legs were beginning to get stiff from standing, but she didn't back down and instead curiously wondered why. Just why. She pursed her lips tightly when Ichigo laid his head against her, and with a suffering sigh Rukia sat down on the grass, ignoring the dampness and returning cold. Without questioning her logical side of her mind she brought the teenager up against her, placing her hand on the orange mass of hair.

"Baka…you just want attention, its that, isn't it, Ichigo?" She questioned softly, not at all disturbed that she didn't find the contact welcoming. After all, Ichigo was perhaps the only person she would trust with her life, would trust with her feelings, her worries, while not necessarily related to the Soul Society itself, she could confide in him in the human world.

No one will see this…no one will know…there is no one here…is it really okay?

Her arms wound themselves around the substitute Shinigami, bringing him closer to her chest, until Rukias head laid comfortably against the other shoulder, against the black clothing that signified a Soul Reapers pride, aside from the sword. "Just…" Rukia strained to listen, feeling a few drops on her head. "Just…stay like this…for a little longer Rukia." He uttered, eyes slipping closed, relieved.

When the rain began to fall in buckets, Rukia didn't care, she only held tighter to Ichigo. Feeling the warm body against hers, like the soul energy acted as a make shift heater, keeping them from becoming cold. Odd as Ichigos wishes were, Rukia concluded that the teenager deserved a break, albeit strange, but a break nonetheless.

No Shinigami is truly alone. They have squads and people they rely, and are relied as well. At least in the Soul Society, but here Ichigo… She tilted her head, pressing further to the side against the damp orange hair, smiling. You'll have me. I don't know how long, but I'll be here as long as I can, and help you. And I know, I'll never truly forget if that time comes.

Ichigo…

Rukia knew the boy had impacted her life more so then anyone, not even Renji was this close to her, not after their separation from the school, and her being brought into the Kuchiki clan. "I won't let anyone take you away Rukia. I'll protect you. I promise. I swear to it…" Ichigo grounded up, moving his head to the side, just enough for lips to brush against Rukias cheek.

I know you will Ichigo. I hope you will. I trust you. Because I…

She paused at the thought.

I…

I…

I love you. I care for you more then anything…

Ichigos loyalty. Ichigos strength. Ichigos love. Ichigos… Rukia felt her cheeks redden. It was just her human side thinking those things wasn't it? She couldn't love a human, she was a Shinigami! But Ichigo said…he'd…protect…Does the differences not matter to him? Does he truly understand what he's saying? Yes. Her eyes began to sting, overcome by a new emotion, burying her face into the black clothing.

He does understand everything…He understand all of it.

And that is why…

I can believe him. Believe everything. And stay with him.

In the end…did she really want to leave?

"Oi! Ichigo!" The form sleeping was rudely awoken by a hard hit to the head with a heavy solid object. The carrot colored teen awoke with start and hissed at the female, hands on her hips by the doorway. "Get up! School!" Rukias gaze narrowed when Ichigos reaction time seemed to slow down. Honestly…

"UP!" Another pillow flew in Ichigos direction.

"IM UP! IM UP! IM FREAKING UP!"

Ichigo nearly crashed to the floor when he moved out of his bed, feet getting entangled by the covers of his bed sheet. It was in that sad moment that Rukia just couldn't help but grin, hiding her smile behind a well positioned hand. Ichigo brightened up her life, made her question loyalties, the wrongs and good by everything.

And it was because of Ichigo she could have another chance to feel all the oddities. And to him she was grateful.

"AH! KON! GET OUT OF MY UNDERWEAR DRAWER!"

"It's not like YOU need them!"

"KOOOOOON!" Crash, bang, thump.

He won't remember anything. He wont need to. If he cares that much. He doesn't need the memory, he doesn't need the emotion to hold him back. But I…Amidst the screaming and stomping of Ichigo and Kon once again fighting, like any other day, Rukias fingers flicked the lighter, the altering memory tool, Rukia smiled.

But I will treasure it until I no longer can.


A/N: FINISHED! YAY!

And as an AU ending…

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But I will treasure it until I no longer can.

"Hey Rukia…" Ichigo glanced up from his mid throttling of Kon and gave her a look.

"Yeah?"

"Why did I get a visit from the tooth fairy?" Ichigo asked innocently. And watched Rukias gaze travel to her hand, obviously not expecting that.

"Uh…"

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