Disclaimer: Don't own anything, blah, blah, blah...

A/N: I'd like to see some reviews please!

Chapter Two: Welcome To Ankh-Morpork!

Meanwhile, in another world, three teenagers stood to attention in their headmaster's office. They had been called from their lessons to perform a certain task outside of school. The three teens swelled with pride, as they were performing tasks for the Order of the Phoenix before they had even left Hogwarts. As you might have already guessed, their names are Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley and Harry Potter.

Their headmaster, Professor Dumbledore looked down at them through his half-moon spectacles. "Now," He spoke softly. "Do you fully understand what I have just said to you?"

All three of them nodded. Well actually, one nodded, one just looked slightly confused, and one looked as if he were waiting for Dumbledore to shout "APRIL FOOL!"

"So," Harry paused to find his words. "What you're saying, Professor is that we have to travel into another world to find Voldemort?" Dumbledore nodded.

Hermione put on a very worried face. "But… but we've never even heard of this place! Things will be different. How will we understand what will be happening around us?" Hermione had started worrying at the thought of visiting a place that the school's library didn't consist any information of.

"Do not fret, Miss Granger. I have contacted the Unseen University, that is a school for wizardry, and they have, rather reluctantly, offered you a place to stay and will answer any questions you feel you must ask." Dumbledore lied. He remembered talking to the headmaster and wasn't entirely sure whether he had agreed or not.

Dumbledore smiled at them. "Here is the port key." He handed them an old boot. "Now, you are all seventeen, and I hope you will treat this assighnment with extreme caution."

"Yes, Professor!" They chorused.

"Er… sir?" Ron asked. "Where did you say we were going again?"

Dumbledore smiled. "Ankh-Morpork!"

It was a rather warm night, Sergeant Colon thought to himself. He leaned on a nearby wall. He was rather glad he didn't have to patrol through the shades on a night like this. Patrolling through Peach Pie Street was quite uneventful, but Colon didn't mind. He liked things to be uneventful.

Corporal Nobbs elbowed him. "Fancy a drink?" He asked, thrusting a thumb in the direction of the Bucket, the Watch's favorite pub.

"Now, now Nobby." Said Colon. "You know we can't drink when we are currently on duty. Remember the lecture Captain Carrot gave us last time?"

Nobby grimaced. "Yes, sarge."

They stood in silence for a while when suddenly there was a faint "pop" and three figures, all dressed in black, appeared out of thin air. Peering closer, Colon noticed that the figures where aged somewhat between sixteen and eighteen. Nobby noticed that a young lady was one of the three.

The two watchmen continued to watch for sometime until the figures had disappeared completely.

Nobby's eyes widened. "Cor! Did you see that, sarge?"

"Yes I did, Nobby."

"What do you think they are?"

"Well… they've got to be human, Nobby. Just like you an' me," Colon glanced at Nobby. "Well, maybe just me."

"But humans don't just appear, do they?" Nobby thought about this. "I mean… 'spose they could. Other wise where would babies come from?"

"Er…" Colon tried desperately to avoid explaining to Corporal Nobbs where babies come from. "Well, you see, they look like humans but they're really… er…"

"Fairies?" Nobby suggested. Colon looked rather surprised. Where had that come from?"

"Don't be daft, Nobby. Fairies! Hah!"

"Well what are they, Fred?"

"That's Sergeant to you Nobby, and they were something magical, you know… muses and whatnot."

"Muses?" Nobby asked.

"Yeah. Muses." Nobby gave him a curious look. "Don't tell me you don't know what a muse is, Nobby?"

Nobby shook his. "Right, well, before someone invents something that's going to be really famous, this naked young lady comes and gives that person inspiration. That's a muse."

"Cor! I wish I had a muse." Nobby stated grinning. "Hey sarge, imagine all the muses that Leonard of Quirm has seen."

Colon shook his head in pity. "Nobby, Nobby, Nobby. Everyone knows you can't see your own muse. Well known fact, that is." Colon said, tapping the side of his nose.

"Oh," Nobby looked slightly crestfallen. "Y'know, Fred. I don't think those were muses at all."

"What makes you say that?"

"Well, there were three of them an' only one was a lady an' she had clothes on."

Colon nodded. "Nobby, I think this is one of those things best left alone."

The three figures walked quickly down the streets of Ankh-Morpork, whispering in the hushed voices of those who didn't want people to know they had never been here before.

It was hard to see where they were going in the dark and the dim lights of the lamp posts did very little to help.

"I think we're lost." A voice said.

"Congratulations, Ron, you've finally learned to think!" A female voice snapped irritably.

"Will you two stop bickering?" Said a third voice. "Perhaps we could ask for directions."

"From who? There's no one out here!" The voice owned by Ron exclaimed.

"Look, over there." The owner of the female voice pointed towards a watchman.

The three of them walked up to the watchman and tapped him on the shoulder… and his arm fell off. The female out of the three screamed, causing the watch to turn and see his arm on the floor.

"Sorry about that." He said holding his arm in his hand. He sighed heavily. "Well, I'll have to get Igor to stitch this back on again." He looked at the three strangers. "Can I help you?"

They stood in shock. A young male with black hair and glasses thrust a pointed finger at the detached arm. "Your… your…"

"Arm?" The watchman finished the sentence for him. "Yes, damn thing just doesn't seem to want to stay on any more." He inspected the old stitching on his arm. "Hmm, do you think that fishing wire would work better than string?" The watchman noticed the fearful looks on their faces for the first time. "What's the matter? Haven't you seen a zombie before?"

The black haired young man stuttered again. "Z…z… zombie?"

"Ah." The watchman nodded. "Knew in town, eh?" He held out his detached arm.

"Constable Reg Shoe is the name. I'm a zombie by the way."

The black haired young man shook the hand nervously. "I'm Harry. Harry Potter."

The young lady and tall, red head shook it too. Their names were Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger.

"So… you're a zombie, eh?" Ron asked awkwardly.

"Ron!" Hermione snapped. "Don't be rude!" She turned to Reg and smiled. "Sorry about him, we've never met anyone who is undead before."

"Hah! Well obviously you've never been to Ankh-Morpork before." Reg nodded knowingly. "We've got all sorts of undead here. Zombies, vampires, bogeymen, werewolves. You name it."

"Well you certainly aren't spiciest here in Ankh-Morpork." Said Hermione.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that." Said Reg, remembering all the fights he and the rest of the watch had to break up between dwarfs and trolls.

"Now the Watch, that's a place anyone can get a job. It's not just for humans. We've got dwarfs, trolls, gargoyles, gnomes, a golem, even a Nobbs."

"What's a Nobbs?" Harry asked curiously.

"Hopefully you'll never know. Actually, there's this huge rumor going 'round that we've recruited a werewolf. Dunno if it's true or not, doesn't matter really. In the end we're all just watchmen."

"Wow," Said Ron. "Things are really different here compared to back home, aren't they?"

Harry and Hermione nodded. Reg stared at them. Eventually he said, "Do you three have any place to stay?"

"Oh! I completely forgot!" Hermione shrieked. "Could you direct us to the Unseen University?"

A/N: What do I have to give you people to review? Blood?