Chapter 19- Broken Lives

Sawyer clasped his hands over his stomach as he looked up at the ceiling. The woman he had brought home last night, was still laying next to him. He didn't want her, he wanted Kate. Sawyer sat up, and swung his legs over his bed. He reached for a cigarette, and brought it to his lips.

He had a lot on his mind. Because he was trying to do an impossible task, take out Julian by himself. Sawyer chuckled, he was either the stupidest man on earth, or either the smartest.

The woman next to him stirred, "Can I bum a cigarette?"

Sawyer ignored her as he lit the cigarette. He took a puff, and then blew out the smoke. Nicotine was his fix for tiring situations like this one. If only he hadn't brought along Kate, and the damn doctor.

The woman tapped his shoulder, "Babe…"

"How about you don't call me babe, okay woman,"

She pulled back surprised. "Fine, well if you can just pay me, then I'll get out of you're way." She stood up, and then started to look around for her clothes.

Sawyer closed his eyes. Part of him just wanted to run, but that was the coward part of him. He reopened his eyes and then clenched his jaw, But he wasn't a coward, so he had to do it. Whether he died or not.

"Money," The woman said holding out her hand.

Sawyer blew his smoke in her face.

She coughed and then stared back at him angrily. "Do you want me to make some calls,"

Sawyer looked up at her in surprise. He shot up, and then grabbed her wrist. "Calls, what the hell are you talking about?"

Her eyes widened suddenly, "I just use that as a line to get my money,"

Sawyer relaxed and slowly let go of her arm. Dear ol' Kate probably wasn't going to talk to him in the morning, because of this insipid prostitute, but it wasn't like she took her eyes off of Jack to notice him anyways.

He took his wallet off his press, which was stuffed with cash, and then handed the woman her money.

"Thanks, I'll get out of your way,"

Sawyer watched her leave, and then sat down on his bed. He needed another cigarette, another nicotine fix to aid his insomnia. Sawyer reached on his press for the carton, and then looked inside, no more cigarettes.

"Damn, He growled tossing it clear across the room.

Jack could hear Kate snoring softly, but he couldn't get to sleep. He had tried countless times, but every time he tried he felt as if someone would rush into the house and kill them all.

Jack sat up, and walked towards the window. He stood carefully in the shadows, and then looked outside. His eyes traveled over the darkened West Virginia night. Mountains were illuminated by the full moon's light, and a river right below seemed still. Jack sighed, West Virginia was a beautiful place, but he couldn't enjoy it not now.

He glanced down at Kate. He wasn't exactly sure, what his plans were. After Kate got away safely, what was he going to do. Just let her get away, and then worry about her for the rest of his life.

Jack sat down on the floor, and rested his arms on his knees. Back home in L.A., he was always stressed almost to an unhealthy level, and here with Kate, he was stressed, but somehow she knew how to ease that. Jack seemed like Kate understood him, and hopefully she felt the same way.

"I really appreciate you stopping by to check on me," Sarah said sitting up in her hospital bed.

"Don't mention it," Jack replied back.

Sarah looked down at her clasped hands, "What about my boyfriend?"

"Cameron," Jack said quietly.

Sarah nodded eagerly. Tears started to well in her eyes, and her mouth started to tremble as if she already expected the worst.

"I don't know how to say this, but he passed."

Sarah looked away from Jack.

"They did all they could. He suffered major trauma to the head, and he…"

Tears were already running down Sarah's cheek.

Jack could feel her pain. He wanted to comfort her, but then again he held back, because she was his patient.

Sarah laid back down on her bed, and then buried her face in the pillow, "Why couldn't it have just been me, I'm the one that was driving the car…"

"But it wasn't you're fault," Jack added softly.

Sarah turned away from Jack, "I don't want to live without him, why couldn't it just have been me."

Jack looked down, and then back up at her. There wasn't much he could do. If he had been the reason for Cameron's death, then he would be beating himself up inside but Cameron wasn't his patient.

"Excuse me sir, you're not permitted in there…"

"Don't tell me what I can and can't do," He ordered.

Jack stood up immediately recognizing his father's voice. What was he doing here?

He opened the curtain and stared back at Jack with glazed eyes. "It's nice to see that you still got you're job,"

"Dad, you shouldn't be here,"

"Why not, because you got me fired. You're right Jack, I shouldn't be here, and it's all your fault. Do you ever think you'll be a better doctor than me."

Jack walked cautiously towards his dad, "You should get home…wait, I'll drive you home. My shift is over in an…"

"I don't want a ride from you! Your not my son, you're a traitor Jack. Playing yourself out to be a big hero, well you know what son, you don't have what it takes. You didn't when you were a boy, and you still don't."

Jack was speechless. He just stared back at his dad, the same way he did when he was a kid. He had always felt as if he wasn't good enough for his father, and know he knew why. Jack watched as his dad walked off, fighting anyone that tried to stop him.

Sarah sat up, her face was still teary. "I don't think I ever got the chance to thank you for saving my life," With that she laid back down on her pillow, and then cried herself to sleep.

Jack nodded. His morale was shattered, and his heart broken. He wanted to go after him, and tell him to hell with him. Let him go for ever, so he wouldn't have to worry about him kicking Jack around. But Jack's problem was he cared too much, no matter how angry someone made him, he came back to be kicked around some more.

Tears were streaming down Jack's face. He had always wanted a closer relationship to his father, but that was never going to happen. Jack wiped at his face, he didn't want Kate to see him crying, and then feel the need to take care of him.

"Jack,"

Jack turned to her surprised. He leaned away from the light, and stared back at her in the dark.

Kate got up, "I heard you…"

"I'm fine," He said quickly.

Kate sat down on the floor and then reached for his hands, "What's wrong Jack,"

"I was just thinking about some things,"

"Is it Sarah?"

Jack shook his head, "No, it's my Dad."

"Really,"

"Yeah, but I don't want to talk about it," Jack stood up letting go of Kate's hands. He walked out of the room, and then towards the kitchen. He fully expected Kate to follow him, but when she didn't, he wasn't sure if he felt relieved or hurt.

Jack sat down at the table, and stared straight ahead. He needed closure with his dad, and with Sarah, so he couldn't go with Kate. Although, he was attracted to her, he had to see the big picture, he had a life back in L.A., and no matter how lonely and depressing it was, he had to get back to it.

Kate stared out at the darkness. She wanted to go after Jack, but she figured he needed to be alone. Kate paced back and forth on the floor, and then tilted her head up to the ceiling. They all had issues. Sawyer was running from hit men, She from the Marshalls, and Jack from a troubling past back home. Kate looked down sadly. It had broken her heart, when she saw Jack crying. He seemed like he was in so much control of himself, but after tonight she wasn't so sure. Jack needed someone to talk to, and she was going to be there for him.

Kate walked out of the room, and then into the kitchen with him. "Hey,"

Jack looked up and nodded.

Kate placed her hand on his shoulder, and then leaned forwards to wrap her arms around his neck, and then rest her chin on his head. "I'm here for you okay, and I always will be,"

Jack nodded, staring straight ahead, still lost in his thoughts.

At least Jack didn't kill his father. She closed her eyes, she didn't want to think about that right now, she just wanted to focus on him. Kate just wanted to make Jack smile, because that's the only thing she needed to ease her worries.

(Thanks guys for the reviews!

Laurenasbufra…that's a great idea, and I'm thinking about it. But if Ana Lucia tagged along then it would have to be called Outlaws and their Gilrs…and I also don't know that much about her yet. But yeah, I feel sorry for Sawyer too. Kate doesn't give him that much attention, and that's because of Jack.

You guys all awesome, thanks a lot. Peace.)