Kristen- Thank you. I'm glad that you're enjoying it. I don't know about me being a wonderful writer, but thank you for saying it. It means a lot.
Genie05 the second- How do you know me so well? I'm a big fan of angst. And I like to write mob stories. I like men who protect their women. But you're right, early angst happiness later. )
Jmluver14- Look! You don't have to wait any longer! P I'm happy that you're enjoying the fic!
Rebecca- Thanks! I'm so glad that you enjoy the plot! Thanks for the review! It means so much!
Erin- I plan on keeping up with this story. I'm thrilled that you like it!
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Thank you all so much for the reviews. Keep them coming! I love them! Lets just hope it doesn't go to my head eh? It's already big enough as it is. P Well without further ado… here's the next chapter! I hope you guys love it!
When Jason woke up in the morning, he automatically reached over to his wife's side of the bed and was somewhat disappointed when he found that it was cold, and empty. He dreaded talking to her about the Sandovals, but he knew that it had to be done. This was his marriage. And he knew that Courtney deserved to know that she could be in danger. With a sigh, he rolled out of bed and threw a blue t-shirt on and a pair of jeans.
"Good morning," Courtney said with a smile as she poured her husband a cup of coffee, just the way he liked it. Courtney loved knowing just how Jason liked his coffee, just how he liked his toast, which she placed in front of him next.
"Morning. How'd you sleep?" Jason asked as he set the coffee that he had just sipped down and took a bite of toast.
"Alright. Did you bring me upstairs last night?" Courtney asked as she settled herself at the other end of their small kitchen table, with her own cup of coffee.
"Yeah, don't you remember?" Jason asked quizzically. She had been talking to him, how could she not remember?
"No, I remember worrying about you, and trying so hard to keep my eyes open, but then I just couldn't. I must have dozed off. I'm sorry, I wanted to be awake when you got home," Courtney apologized and drank her coffee.
"No, I'm glad that you fell asleep. I came home late anyways. But we have to talk about that, I need you to listen for a little while, I need to know how you feel about something," Jason said as he took her hand from across the table. She offered him a smile.
"Okay, I have to tell you something too," Courtney said as she flushed a little and looked down at their intertwined fingers.
"You first," Jason said as he watched her blush and wondered what she was thinking about. Courtney normally wasn't the type of person who got embarrassed easily.
"Are you sure? Because you can go first if you want…"
"No, you go. Something's obviously on your mind," Jason interrupted as Courtney sighed.
"Okay, now I don't want you to dismiss the idea right away. I want you to think about it," Courtney explained as she felt Jason rubbing the pad of his thumb against her palm, it was something that had always calmed her and he knew it, so she smiled.
"Okay," Jason said.
"I love you Jason, and I know that you love me and you always want to support me in whatever I do…" Courtney said as she trailed off to look at her husband.
"I love you too. You know you can tell me anything," Jason said as he urged her to go on.
"Okay. I know, I just, I don't know how you're going to feel about this particular thing. But it's important to me," Courtney said.
"If it's important to you, it's important to me. But could you just tell me what you're thinking, because I'm getting a little nervous," Jason admitted honestly.
"I want to try to have another baby," Courtney said as she squeezed her eyes shut and waited for him to discourage her.
"You do?" Jason asked.
"I really do. I know that no baby could replace the one that we lost, but I want to be a mother Jason," Courtney said as she tried not to cry.
"I know you do…" Jason said as he put his free hand over his unshaven face and sighed into it. He wished that he could tell her that it wasn't a good time for a baby right now, that it was too dangerous. But he didn't have it in him to break her heart again. Jason knew that he was in no position to deny her anything, he couldn't if he tried.
"Dr. Meadows told me that other day that it isn't impossible, and you know that I'm not on birth control. She said that we could go for in-vitro, or maybe if that doesn't work, a surrogate…"
"You went to Dr. Meadows without me?" Jason asked, completely astonished that she wouldn't involve him in this decision. They couldn't keep secrets from each other anymore.
"Jason, you were busy. I didn't think you would even care that much anyways…"
"Courtney how could you think that? Of course I care. I would have gone with you, I would have found away to take time off to be there for you. You know that," Jason said as his eyes bored into hers. Blue met blue for a moment and both pairs of eyes softened.
"I'm sorry. I really am. But there are risks Jason, and I didn't want you to hear them. You probably would have told Dr. Meadows to forget it right on the spot," Courtney said as she finally let her tears spill down her cheeks. Angry with herself for letting her emotions overcome her, she furiously wiped them away.
"Risks? What kind of risks?" Jason asked, immediately becoming wary. She was probably right. He wouldn't risk her, as much as he wanted children with his wife. He wouldn't risk her.
"Well, you know how the doctors messed up in South America? They damaged a lot of organs and made it almost impossible for me to conceive. Almost," Courtney said as she looked at her husband, she noticed that he was scared. But that was okay, so was she. Dr. Meadows said that it was only natural to be afraid.
"Courtney, what are the risks?" Jason pressed the issue.
"Well, with in-vitro, they take eggs from me, sperm from you and they combine them. Whichever embryos are strongest, they will implant into me. Hopefully then I'd become pregnant. But, Dr. Meadows said that I may not carry to term," Courtney explained.
"Wait, aren't there other things that we can try? Like drugs or something?" Jason asked as he leaned across the table, unable to believe that he was having this conversation.
"I'm sorry. I should have told you… I've tried the drugs, I've been to the fertility clinic…"
"What?" Jason interrupted, "You went? Alone? Courtney I would have gone with you…"
"I know. I know you would have. I just didn't want you to be disappointed if they said that I couldn't ever have children," Courtney told her husband as she continued wiping her tears away.
"We've been through this Courtney. I want to know what you're feeling, what you're thinking. I want to be able to help you with that pain," Jason said as he reached across the table to wipe away a stray tear. It killed him to see her cry.
"I know. I'm sorry. But the doctors told me that in-vitro would most likely work for us. We could probably get pregnant without too much difficulty. It's just, whether my body can do it or not," Courtney said as she once again looked down at the table. She was so ashamed that she couldn't get pregnant without help.
"What would happen to your body?" Jason asked, becoming extremely worried about his wife. He knew that she wanted a baby. She wanted to give birth to their baby. He wanted her to do that too.
"It depends. I'm young, so that's a plus. But I could easily hemorrhage while in labor, or even worse. But Dr. Meadows thinks we should try Jason. You can even call her and talk to her about the risks yourself," Courtney said defensively.
"I will, and Courtney, I don't mind trying this. But if Dr. Meadows tells me that you're in any kind of danger, or I don't like what I hear when I talk to her, we'll have to find another way. I'm not going to risk you," Jason said as he stood up and walked over to her.
"Okay, fair enough. Thank you for being so good about this Jason. It mean so much to me," Courtney said as she got up too, and collapsed into his arms.
"I love you," Jason said as he held her tight and kissed her forehead.
"I love you too. What did you want to talk about Jason?" Courtney asked as she looked up into his blue eyes.
"Nothing important. I just wanted to tell you that everything went fine at your club and not to worry about anything. Sonny and I took care of it," Jason said as he pushed her golden hair back behind her ear.
"Thank you for that. I know that you were nervous," Courtney said as she settled back into his arms.
"I just didn't want you or Carly to get hurt," Jason explained as Courtney let out a giggle. "What?"
"Our coffee's cold and the toast is soggy," Courtney exclaimed as she began to laugh.
"I can make pancakes if you want. Or eggs," Jason suggested.
"No, it's okay. I'll just wait until lunch," Courtney said as she slipped out of his arms. "Will you call and set up an appointment with Dr. Meadows? I'm going to go for a run," Courtney said as she slipped on a zip up sweatshirt over her tank top.
"Yeah sure. Be careful okay. Take…"
"Max," Courtney interrupted, "I know." She got up on her tip toes to give him a long and passionate kiss to thank him for being so understanding.
"Alright. Call if you need me, my cell phone's on, and I'll probably be here for a while," Jason said as he walked her to the elevator and gave her a hug goodbye. Courtney slipped onto the elevator and out of sight as the doors closed.
As Jason walked back into PH2 he sighed. Courtney wanted a baby more than anything, and he had to work with the man who was responsible for their first baby's death. Ironic, Jason thought as he began to clean up their breakfast.