(A/N: To a certain nosy reviewer asking all sorts of tough questions: Owls are smart creatures. How did Hedwig know where Harry was going to be every single time she was neglected? And yes, people can be that thick. I know people that thick. No joke (this means YOU, Becki!))

Dear Wishing for More,

I've told him a million plus times what I think of him and his fucking ego. He can't take a hint! (Or a direct order, or a slap upside the head… you get the idea). Believe me, I've told him how unattractive he is in the full extent of my vocabulary. He's one of those things that gets me in trouble. I suppose he can do sweet things, but they've been double-edged. Like, he hexes anyone who might even suggest I'm a mudblood… I don't like the name, but that's no reason to hex someone!

Tess will get over it, I promise. Hell, I bet she marries you! Okay, I've been reading too many muggle romance novels. But, I do promise. Maybe you should talk to the guy who bugs me. It seems like you both have an ego. Of course, I'm not saying his name.

Gorgeous? Me? Doubtful. In the summer, when I'm not grounded, I go to muggle parties with Rissa, and the boys there barely talk to me. 'Course, Rissa is beautiful, so she attracts all the attention. I'm perfectly fine with that.

By no friends, I mean friends as in I know their name, have met them… that sort of thing. You're a special type of friend.

Perfectly Happy,

Bored as Hell

P.S. I'll be at the quidditch game tomorrow! Good Luck!

Dear Bored as Hell,

You're basing your self-image on what a bunch of stupid, naïve muggle idiots think of you when they're smashed? You've got to be kidding me. You're gorgeous, and I know it. Someday those braindead morons will be kicking themselves, provided they have enough brain cells left.

I was looking for you at the match today. I know I have no idea who you are, or even a vague idea what you look like, but it's fun to match a random face to your woirds.

Strangely enough, Tess was at the match as well. I always thought she hated quidditch, but she actually seemed to enjoy it. Of course, I got yelled at for not paying attention to the game. But I couldn't help it, you know?

Have you tried telling this guy nicely? The full extent of your vocabulary sounds mighty intimidating.

Not Good Enough.