Summary: Being the story of a mishap in Potions class, a certain Professor, and a certain Gryffindor. Dedicated to Strega Brava, whose Snape stories are so totally awesome!

Disclaimer: The plot and the potion are mine (I think) and the chars and settings are JKR's (I know)

Severus Snape strode into his fifth class of the day, cape billowing. Upon reaching his desk he turned sharply and professionally, surveying the class. Gryffindor and Slytherin. Sixth years. Ugh. Longbottom was looking especially clumsy today. This could be a very volatile situation if he was to get anywhere near that fat dunderhead of a student. He clapped his hands briskly and the classroom fell silent. Well, almost silent.

"Oh, Drakie-poo, do you think you could help me with my potion today? You're so good and I'm so awful…"

"Ten points from Slytherin for not quieting down, Miss Parkinson. Obviously you weren't listening yesterday when I clearly explained to the class about my new route of discipline. Five more points for ignorance." Pansy looked down, seemingly absorbed in a raspberry stain on her robe as Snape leered. "Now that this has been taken care of, we can begin. Today, we are going to brew a potion that transforms the drinker into the same age as the maker. It can be consumed by drinking or absorbed through the skin. The drinker will age just as fast as the maker, but still have the same mind that they had before drinking the potion. Please write down the instructions…"

Parvati Patil sat rapt in her seat. Professor Snape didn't sound like he was kidding the other day when he said that if they angered him they would have to drink undiluted bubotuber pus. From the bubotuber. Eew. Her quill moved quickly, writing down the shorthand symbols as soon as she heard their verbal counterparts. Padma was right when she said that shorthand came in handy—but she really wasn't very good at staging such puns. (shorthand, HANDY, get it?) While arranging out the necessary ingredients on her desk—they were extremely strange this time, including the sand from an upside-down hourglass, the workings of a Muggle stopwatch (to time this particular potion so that it wasn't active for a lifetime), and a melted Time Turner—she gazed thoughtfully into the eyes of the spiders which they would be testing the potion on. Poor things. She knew they would probably die anyways, but lengthening out their age so they would only die was an awful thing to do.

If you had shown Parvati Patil a spider last year she would have jumped up onto the ceiling screaming bloody murder. Now, after having been told the story of Harry's battle with Voldemort at the Ministry of Magic, she realized her fears were far inferior to those of the ones who fought those Death Eaters and she was trying to overcome them. The spider thing had been easy—fear of the unknown, fear of not knowing what the next day would bring, was harder. Perhaps that was why she enjoyed Divination so much. While not entirely accurate, it did give her a reason to not expect death immediately after getting up in the morning. She poured the spring water into her cauldron, following the instructions to the letter and turning on the heat at exactly the right moment. She smiled. She would be having no potion mishaps today, no siree.

Professor Snape walked among the students, surveying their work and taking away or adding points accordingly. Then he came to Neville. The boy's hands were shaking and he was muttering to himself as he dropped the solid ingredients in the water with a plop. He seemed to be doing fine—for now. Severus turned to Seamus, who was sitting next to Neville and was seeing if the giant tarantula the potion was to be tested on would fit in his shoe. Severus was just about to deduct five points from Gryffindor when a loud explosion was heard. His stomach gave a lurch, his head felt as if it was compacting. His clothes felt looser and he seemed to be a lot closer to the ground than usual.

Parvati looked on in amazement as Professor Snape shrank drastically and clutched his head, yelling. Neville was cowering in the corner, an empty cauldron and dirty desk proof of a faulty potion. When the yelling and shrinking stopped, standing in Snape's place was a young boy of sixteen with long black hair, a large nose and an infuriated look in his black eyes. "YOU INSOLENT, BLITHERING, FAT BALL OF USELESSNESS! LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE DONE! I HAVE TURNED INTO A PERSON FOURTEEN YEARS MY JUNIOR! (You'll understand why snape is thirty later) A HUNDRED POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!" Snape yelled in a voice that was slightly higher than his adult one. "It's a bloody good thing that this isn't permanent—WHAT IS IT, MISS GRANGER?" He turned around as Hermione cleared her throat.

"Umm…Professor…it seems that the stopwatch innards are still on Neville's desk." Hermione said meekly. Snape's head whipped around and his eyes widened.

"THAT IS IT! I AM GOING TO SEE DUMBLEDORE ABOUT THIS! COME, LONGBOTTOM!" He grabbed Neville's hand and dragged him to the door. He stopped and looked around. "YOU, PATIL!" The entire class turned toward Parvati. "COME WITH US AND BE A WITNESS!" Parvati walked briskly up to Snape and stood silently while he instructed the class to study. Then, with a whirl of Snape's too-long cape, they started off down the corridor.

Later, in Dumbledore's office…

"I completely understand your outrage, Severus." Dumbledore was calm and composed throughout Snape's monologue, which consisted mostly of yelling, complaining, and insulting Neville. "And I do not doubt that you are still fit for your position. But I do believe that if you continued to teach in your present form I would surely get calls from parents about my being a barmy old codger and such puff and fluff as you giving people black eyes or something. No, Severus, I am afraid you shall have to live in the Slytherin dormitory and act as a student acts. This means no taking points, no sitting at the teacher's table and NO throttling Gryffindors." Snape was turning as purple as a rutabaga, possibly even more so. "Thank you, Miss Patil and Mr. Longbottom for dealing with this as silently as possible. Those hundred points from Gryffindor are still in effect, however. Neville, you may go to your dormitory and rest up…" Neville loosened himself uneasily from Snape's grip and nodded, rubbing his neck from where Snape had nearly choked him. "…and Miss Patil, Severus will be accompanying you to all your classes. It would be indecent to have one who is at first glance a student running around and barging in on others' classes because he has nothing to do." Parvati's eyes widened at the horror of this direction and looked from side to side as if seeking help from the two boys on either side of her. Severus, on the other hand was no longer purple but turning increasingly green, blue, and red all at the same time. In any other situation, the others would be laughing at this chameleonic display of color, but given the present situation, the only things laughing were Dumbledore's piercing blue eyes. "You are dismissed. We will hire a substitute to watch over your class, Severus. Perhaps, since Madam Pomfrey has had little to do these last few months, she will be glad to step in and help finish up this particular potions unit and move on to antidotes. I will see you at dinner."

Parvati trudged along to her class with Severus next to her. Next was Divination. Perhaps this would help to clear her mind. She remembered Professor Trelawney saying that they would be working on tarot today. That should be interesting.

Severus was solemn. Of all the days for Longbottom to be deficient! Not that he wasn't deficient every day, of course. Oh, no. This was the path to Divination. Sybil would certainly be having a wonderful time predicting awful twists to this potion for him. He was the only one who knew the antidote besides Pomfrey, and it really wasn't a good idea to make, since it required distilled unicorn blood. He'd be stuck as a teenager for four more years. Bloody Longbottom!

As the two climbed the stairs to the stuffy classroom, whispers and snickers could be heard from other students. Snatches of conversation told them that almost everyone had been told about the Potions calamity—a sign that this would surely be an awful experience for both of them. Parvati and Severus stepped into the candle-lit classroom quietly, but they did not escape Sybil Trelawney's sharp eyes.

"Ah, who is this new boy? I see he bears a striking resemblance to that of our own Professor Snape. Would you, by any chance, be his son, my dear boy?"

"I am not his son. I am Snape himself. Neville Longbottom's potion exploded and I am doomed to be the same age as the blundering, obese, rat!" Snape answered angrily. "I believe you will enjoy this quite thoroughly."

"Severus? I knew my prediction at the last staff meeting was right. A member of the faculty really did enter the world of the student! Sit over there, Severus. I am sure there is enough room for both of you at Miss Brown's table." Sybil looked very pleased with herself as Severus and Parvati took their seats next to Lavender.

SEVERUS' POV

Good Lord! That woman is insufferable! Not only did she mistake me for a true student, she sat me next to that idiot Brown girl! I do believe I shall die if not for my intellect! Funny, though. Miss Patil doesn't seem to be too perturbed. At least she is sitting among friends. I bet every single person in this room has some sort of grudge against me. This is fantastic. Just fantastic!

END POV

PARVATI'S POV

At least I get to sit next to Lavender. This is going to be one loooong year. If it weren't against my better judgment, I might say that Snape actually was a decent-looking teenager. What am I thinking? He's Snape! He hasn't taken a bath since his baptism! Yet, strangely enough, I can't smell anything too awful. Maybe he fell in the lake. Now, what was Trelawney saying aboutnumber sixof the Major Arcana? Hmm…

END POV

Parvati's Divination Notes—

A journey is represented by the Major Arcana—from the beginning of life when you have only your faith to guide you, to the end when you have acquired all possible knowledge.

Order of the Major Arcana, #s 0 to 6: Fool, Magician, High Priestess, Empress, Emperor, Hierophant, Lovers