Author's Note: I, Maria-kun, wrote this chapter. Oooh, yes, you love me.
"HELL INDEED!" Arachina cried jovially, despite the fact she had just labeled her city as a hell. Reni put her face in her palm and groaned.
"Isn't this insane, Arachina? I'm so sad that I'll wake up in a few moments and it will have all been a dream."
"What, this is a dream?"
"It most certainly is NOT!" Maria bellowed, reaching out to grab Arachina by the arm. The blonde gave the girl a hard pinch, causing her to scream and swat at the hand until it let up.
"Sweet Christ! It's real!" Arachina turned to Seraphina and pinched her cheek, a bit more dramatically than intended, until the girl cried out in pain.
"Okay, THANK YOU."
The two stood and stared at the Hanagumi for a moment, letting the realization sink in. Once it did, Arachina collapsed to the ground crying and Seraphina body-slammed Reni. Kohran had wandered away from the group and was inspecting an automobile, and Kanna was running towards a hot dog stand. Maria turned and yelled for them to come back, but was cut off by the feeling of arms around her waist. She looked down into the face of a teary eyed Arachina, who said:
"OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU LIKE THE FAT KID LOVES CHOCOLATE CAAAKE!"
Maria could do nothing but stare, and perhaps try to pry the girl off. Reni, on the other hand, was listening to Seraphina's mad rambling about how big of a fan she was. The Russian frowned and stalked off after Kanna, dragging Arachina behind her.
"Oh, man! This is great stuff! What is this made of?" Kanna was chatting with the hotdog salesman, a very large corndog in her hand.
The pathetic looking man sighed, leaning on his hand. Foreigners. "You don't wanna know," he replied, yawning. "That'll be a buck eighty, by the way."
Kanna frowned, "What's a buck?"
This earned her a really hard stare, and Arachina slapped the money down on the surface of the stand. "There you go!"
Maria twitched and tugged at Kanna's arm, "Come along, we need to gather Kohran and Reni and get the hell out of here!"
"Actually, Maria-han," Kohran's voice came from behind Kanna, an object in her hands, "I don't think we CAN get back right now. I can't even get my machines to work!"
"Did they ever?" Kanna asked, chuckling as she clapped Kohran's shoulder.
"Haha, very funny!"
"Is it just me," Reni had now joined them, Seraphina hanging from her arm, "Or does anyone else find it strange that we're all talking in English?"
"Yeh, that IS weird! I don't know English! But you do, right Maria?" Kanna frowned at her friend, arching a red brow.
"Eh, not this well. Why can you all speak it?"
"It's coming naturally to me, Maria-han."
"Me too… it's very str – I can't feel my arm, miss."
"My name is Seraphina."
Seraphina had light-brown hair pulled back into a long ponytail. Her blue eyes were framed with glasses, which Kohran compulsively snatched from her face and switched them out with her own. Seraphina was also a few inches taller than Kohran.
"And I'M Arachina!"
Arachina was rather small, to say the least, however she was a bit taller than Reni. Her hairstyle nearly mimicked Maria's, but was a darker shade of blonde. She had hazel-green eyes, which constantly stared into outer space when there was nothing to pay attention to.
"And I think the reason you can speak English is because of dub-overs," Seraphina added.
"Dub-overs? Whassa dub-over?" Kanna leaned down a great deal to narrow her eyes suspiciously at Seraphina.
"Well, you come from an Anime series," she replied nervously, looking over at Arachina for help.
"Right, its called Sakura Taisen here," Arachina nodded from her position of clinging to Maria's left arm.
"Anime? Sakura Wars?" Reni frowned, and Kohran switched the glasses again.
"Ummm… well, basically, you exist in an alternate reality that this world sees as fictional."
"So THAT'S why it feels as though 1927 has lasted an age!" Kohran nodded all-knowingly. "This is truly weird!"
"AHEM!" A gruff voice sounded from behind Maria, and the group whirled around. A police officer had his nightstick out, and was looking pointedly up at the blonde Russian.
"Ma'am, may I ask why you're waving that gun around?"
"I'm not waving my gun around," Maria replied, sliding it into a holster.
"Twas a figure of speech. I need to see your license to carry a weapon." The cop held out a hand, raising his brows at Maria. She panicked, emerald eyes darting, "I don't… have it with me."
"Well, what about your driver's license?"
"I don't… have a driver's license."
"Ummm occifer! Officer, I mean! Maria is my… cousin from Russia! She's not accustom to our… customs? yet." Arachina jumped between them, giving the cop a pleading look.
"Hm… well, I'll leave you with a warnin', ma'am. If I see you with that there gun again, I'll take ya downtown," the cop tipped his hat and ambled off, muttering something about immigrants.
"Great save!" Seraphina said, grabbing Kohran and Reni's hands. "We can't leave you guys here. Where'd you park, 'China?"
"Over there some where," she replied, taking Kanna's and Maria's hands and dragging them off in a random direction. Seraphina followed.
The group had successfully made it to Arachina's car, and were now crammed inside the small SUV. Maria had insisted she get passenger side. Kanna, Kohran, and Seraphina had all buckled up in the backseat. Reni had to sit awkwardly in Kanna's lap, the woman's strong arms acting as a seatbelt around her small waist.
As they drove along, Maria scrutinized every place Arachina stopped at. She observed the traffic lights, stop signs, yield signs… and what she did not understand, she asked of the two girls. Oh yes, Maria was going to drive when she got the chance. Arachina's car went much faster than the ones back in the Imperial Capital… and got more miles to the gallon! Maria and Kohran both were mystified.
"So, you have no money, obviously. No clothes… so you're going to have to stay with us. And we'll take you shopping!" Seraphina chattered on cheerfully, swaying to the faint music playing in the car.
"OKAY!" Kanna and Kohran answered together, both already having the time of their lives. Nightmare my ass!
"I WANT MARIA AND KANNA!" Arachina shrieked, looking at Seraphina in the rear view mirror.
"OKAY I WANT RENI AND KOHRAN!" She retorted, eyes wide.
The Hanagumi were rather taken aback, but were glad they had met people that knew them. And huge fans would stop at nothing to make their idols as comfortable as possible.
"Oh, turn it up, turn it up!" Seraphina biffed Arachina from the backseat with a tissue box, and the other reached over to turn the dial on the stereo.
Much to the Hanagumi's surprise, Kanna's voice greeted them in the song 'Inochi Ga Meguri Sekai Ga Tsunagaru Toki'.
"AAAAACK!" Kanna yelled, pointing to a speaker by her head, "That's ME! How did you --?"
"We told you before, Kanna! Sakura Taisen the anime series! The women that do your voices also do Kayou shows live in Japan." Seraphina nodded, smiling.
"The woman that… do our voices?" Reni asked timidly, eyes widening.
"Yeh, eh… don't worry about it. Besides, it would fry my brain to explain it."
Seraphina, Kohran, and Reni all waved goodbye to the white SUV as it drove away from Seraphina's house. Kohran whirled around to take in the suburbian neighborhood, then dashed to the front door of the house. Seraphina ran after her, and Reni followed slowly.
"MOM!" Seraphina yelled, opening the door, "We have company!"
Seraphina's mother bustled into the room, eyes narrowed, and stared in awe as Kohran and Reni appeared behind her daughter.
"Its! Its! Its!" She was speechless.
"I KNOW!" Seraphina yelled, hugging Kohran and Reni in turn. "They got sent here somehow!"
Thmp.
"Mom? Ooo… DAAAD! Mom passed out!"
"What!" Seraphina's dad and younger sister charged into the room, then froze. Seraphina had often made her family sit down and watch Sakura Taisen, so they knew all too well who the strangers were. They both just stared in awe. Seraphina blinked, then pulled Kohran and Reni back to her room.
The SUV flung into the drive way of a house several minutes away from Seraphina's, roared around a very large white pick-up truck, then into the garage. Maria had a tight grip on anything in the car she could successfully hang onto. Arachina turned down 'Yun Hua', which was blasting, and turned the car off. Kanna frowned and stopped singing along.
"I take it we're here?" she said, opening the door and sliding out. Maria stepped out as well, and Arachina fell out.
"Yes, this is my lovely dojo!"
Arachina let them in, and Kanna grinned as her eyes met a kitchen. Arachina's mom looked up from the stove and arched a brow at the two incredibly tall women. She then did a double take, focusing on Maria.
"Uuhhh… this is a weird dream."
"S'not a dream, mom, this is MARIA TACHIBANA and this is KANNA KIRISHIMA!"
Kanna waved and ran over to look at what was on the stove, "Gaah! RIIICE!"
To make sure she wasn't dreaming, Arachina's mom stuck her finger on the stove.
"OOOOOOW!"
"KEEP IT DOWN IN THERE, I'M WATCHIN' GOLF!" The four in the kitchen winced, Arachina's mom whimpering and moving to run water on her finger.
"Sorry, dad! But Maria and Kanna have to stay with us. They'll be quiet, I promise!"
"Who and who?" Arachina's dad appeared in kitchen's opposite doorway, arching a brow at the two women.
"It's those… people from that Sa-kyoo-ra Wars!"
"Sakura," Maria corrected, eyes darting.
"How are they… here? I know I'm not dreaming," he said, brow furrowing.
"I have no idea!" Arachina said proudly, beaming.
"Well…" he shrugged, then held out a hand to Maria, grinning, "Nice to have you sweetie!"
Kanna walked over and stuck out her hand as well, "Am I a sweetie too?"
"Sure!" Arachina's dad shook Kanna's hand as well, then added, "Make yourselves at home."
"Gah, dad, you're the spiff," Arachina grinned, then beckoned for Maria and Kanna to follow her. She led them through a dining room, then up a flight of stairs.
"Okay, one of you can stay in the guest bedroom, and one of you can take the bed in my room.
Maria peered into the guestroom, which looked as though it doubled as an office. However, it had a more European theme to it. She then slid across the loft and peered into Arachina's room, which had been totally redone to look Japanese. Anime and Sakura Taisen things were everywhere.
"Eh, I'll take guest bedroom," Maria replied, "Unless you want it Kan --"
Kanna had already sprawled out onto Arachina's floor bed, yawning widely. She looked to the left, "Hey look, it's us! Wow. We're all… cartoon lookin'."
Frowning, Maria dashed into the room to look at the wall scroll. She squinted at the drawing of herself and mimicked the position.
"That is uncomfortable…"
"Haha, look at Cactus Woman!" Kanna chuckled, then sat up, looking to the right, "Hey look, Maria. There's a You-Shrine on this table."
Arachina blushed madly and ran to stand in front of it.
"Ahahahaha! No it isn't!"
The two Hanagumi women stared.
"DINNER?" Arachina's mom called confusedly. What sounded like elephants thundering was actually Kanna running across the loft and down the stairs, ending with a slide into the kitchen. Maria and Arachina followed, smirking.
When they reached the kitchen, Kanna already had a heaping plate of food and was moving into the den. There she flopped into the floor and began watching the large screen television.
"What's this?" she asked of Arachina's dad between mouthfuls.
"Tremors Two!" he replied jovially, sipping his perpetual tea glass.
"YAY!" Kanna shrugged and watched on. Arachina dashed into the room with her own plate, plopping down next to Kanna.
"I love this movie!"
Maria blinked as she was handed a plate, and sat down at the counter. She tilted her head at Arachina's mom.
"What is the movie about?"
"Giant worms that eat people," she replied, sitting down next to Maria.
"Oh… that's…"
"Stupid? Yeh."
Maria chuckled and got along rather nicely with Arachina's mother, both ignoring the cries from the other room as Earl Basset nearly got himself eaten by a graboid-spawn. After everyone had finished eating, Maria helped clean the kitchen up.
"Arachina, I'm replacing you with Maria, okay? You can go be someone else's kid."
Arachina exchanged a puzzled look with Kanna, then replied, "OKAY!" and went back to eating.