(Merlin's beard! We have officially passed 200 reviews! dances )

Dear Amy (I'm just kidding, Ginny… Okay, Amergin.),

Ha. You could be Mer… but I bet your real name is cool. Are you a poet? If so, can I see some poems?

I never said they weren't occasionally funny; I just said that they annoy the brains out of me. The Slughorn incident was hilarious, even I have to admit. They're over the top a lot of the time, though, especially with the Slytherins. I don't like them, they call me 'Mudblood', but they don't deserve to be choked by bubbles or to be hung upside down so their underwear shows. The pranks they pull on me are quite distinctive; you'll know what I mean when you see who I am. If I were to tell you, you'd know right away who I am, and you're not allowed to know until the dance.

Lockheart would probably talk his way out of St. Mungo's, using that stupid smile as much as words. People seem to be entranced by it. Just a little bit creepy, if you ask me.

Two days!

Katrina

Dear Katrina,

I say it would be a gift to humanity if we just sewed his mouth shut and locked him in a padded room.

By the way, I talked to Remus, and they don't just do it for the hell of it. There's always a reason behind it. I happen to know that the five kids they scourgified had found every pure blood Slytherin and Ravenclaw in the school, formed a club, and declared any mixed-blood underclassmen "fair game" to jinx, hex, etc. And the ones who got hung upside down had been peeking into the Gryffindor girl's changing rooms before quidditch practices. Plus, if those guys didn't want their underwear on display, maybe they should have been wearing something under their robes.

I have no idea what you could have done, though. Maybe you just pissed one of them off.

I am a poet, but I'm terrible at it and wouldn't show them to anyone for all the gold at Gringotts.

I can't wait for tomorrow night.

Love,

Amergin

Okay, not to defend them too much or anything, but if Snape didn't want his panties on display, he might want to think about wearing shorts under his robes like normal people.