WOOOOO! Death here. 9 reviews! That's colossal, huge, stupendous, really really big and stuff! Happy that someone loves us, we are continuing this story! So celebrate all my minions! Death's minions: (general noises of celebration)

Moving on…your turn to say something Destruction…

Destruction- Hey hey! It's Destruction here! Thanks for all the reviews! We felt so loved! WarriorFormallyKnownAsPrince, dominikki, Sayiea, vegetafanic1, Kawaii-Chan the Anime Angel, Yami Moh ( I love you Momo, my faithful altar sever!), DixieBlonde and "update now!" (well that was extremely nuss, wouldn't you say so Death? Very subtle…) thankyou once again for your reviews and I hope you are reading this right now! Yes – we know that our story is great/strange/whacked! It's a good thing! Here – all of you who reviewed can have a cheese weasel and a cookie!

Disclaimer: Disclaimers are a waste of space. Go away, space-waster! Oooh, be scared. Be very scared. Our company is on the rampage. Our company is Death and Destrucution Co. Um...no der? No, Death…and…Destruction….NO!...oh forget it.

This story is still called

Drunk

But may also be known as…

In Which Vegeta is Tricked into Thinking he has Miraculously Somehow Become a Super Saiyan during his Drunken Stupor…Bulma acts Remarkably Dopey and Blonde for Someone with Purple Hair …or is it Blue? I Still Can't Tell…um…Goku Takes up the Noble Art of Stilt-Walking and Several Birds that don't Actually Belong anywhere near Asia where this show is Set are Mysteriously Heard….oh no I just Told you Everything that Is Going to Happen in this Chapter…NO…Come Back! NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Vegeta laughed. He laughed loud. He laughed so loud that it was heard miles away and several birds were startled into flight and crashed head on into a mountain at full speed and consequently died, emitting a strange squawking sound as they did so. Having recently awoken from his drunken stupor and discovered he had become Super Saiyan, he had quite a lot to laugh about. Of course, as everyone knows, this is not possible in any sense, form or peanut (or CHEESE WEASLE!) but all must take into account Vegeta was not thinking logically. Or philosophically. Or sarcastically. Or metaphorically. Or at all, really.

Being completely sure of his superior manliness and strength, he assumed something within his manliness-ess and strength-ness had triggered a chemical reaction that stimulated the neurons and asphyxiated the nerve endings, sending chemical messages spreading all through the body and lashing their cells together to send a chain reaction down the rows of muscle tissue to the brain, where all the brain cells were combusting violently and darting rapidly about, which caused an aura of light to spread through his pores and engulf all in an explosions similar to the explosion of a nuclear bomb…Or maybe he didn't. Maybe that was completely off the mark.

(Death: Geez, that was technical. My brain hurts. Destruction, your head hasn't exploded has it? DD: No…I don't think so…let me check!)

So Vegeta, completely ignoring Bulma, who crouched amongst empty peroxide bottles, discarded glow in the dark paint tins and a very suspicious opened container containing green contacts with a confused expression and flew out of the window. Bulma stared for a moment before drifting over to the window and watching the blue aura left in the sky from his flight slowly dissipate. 'Vegeta,' she said with an air of perplexing-ness, 'Where are you going?" Bulma waited patiently for an answer. He didn't answer.

(Death: Of course HE DIDN'T ANSWER, YOU IDIOT! He's not there any more! God! How dumb can you get! DD: I believe that's as far as you can go Death. She's stupider than a cheese weasel. Mmmm…cheese weasel…(opens a packet of cheese weasels and eats loudly with an open mouth) Death: Destruction that is not at all…STOP THAT!))

Vegeta landed, approximately 30 km from where he had taken off and stumbled slightly upon landing. He then pulled his posture straight and looked around. Hopefully no-one had noticed. Taking a deep breath, he bellowed, 'KARKKAROT! Where are you!' Waiting for about 3 seconds, he repeated the exercise, 'KARKKA…'

'Right here, Vegeta. No need to shout.' Vegeta let out a kind of yelp and whirled around, inwardly furious that the idiot had managed to scare him. He opened his mouth to…and abruptly forgot what he was about to say. He looked at Goku, looked up and up. And up and up. And up. Vegeta now had his head at around a 120 degree angle and felt all his spine crack. 'ARE YOU MOCKING ME?' Goku, the imbecile, the half-wit, the inbred was on stilts, which, as stilts tend to do, raised him far above the other Saiyan's height and made him so tall he was actually blocking out the sun.

Goku peered good-naturedly down from his stilts at the enraged Vegeta dancing around waving his fists below. 'Hmm,' he murmured. 'I didn't know Vegeta had taken up dancing. KEEP IT UP VEGETA! YOU LOOK PRETTY SMALL DOWN THERE SO I CAN'T REALLY SEE IT! HEY, HAVE YOU SHRUNK LATELY?'

These words made Vegeta jump about even more vigorously than before and Goku smiled dimly. Then he felt a sudden blow to one of his stilts, than the other. Then he was falling, so shocked that, like all birds before cars and cheese weasels before trains, he forgot he had the ability to fly and simply…fell.

Vegeta, practically frothing at the mouth by this stage, had kicked the fool's stilts out from under him and he took a savage pleasure on watching Goku's body hit the ground with a satisfying 'splat' noise, still with his eternal confused expression fixed on his face. Goku got to his feet slowly, rubbing his tender backside. 'Gee, Vegeta, what was that for?' Vegeta growled loudly. Suddenly Goku noticed something different about Vegeta. He jumped backwards a pace in astonishment. 'Vegeta, there's something different about you!'

Vegeta completely forgot about the stilt incident and struck a pose. 'Indeed, there is!'

He waited for Goku to state the obvious. He was not disappointed. 'Um, why are you wearing green contacts and why are you covered with glow in the dark paint? Erm, and why did you dye your hair blonde? Looks kinda strange, really.'

Vegeta snorted at this. 'No, you pitiful third class fool, I have ascended, made the leap, gone to the next level, updated, uploaded, upgraded!' Goku stared blankly. The Saiyan sighed sarcastically. 'I'm a Super Saiyan, you cheese weasel. A Super Saiyan!'

'Um, no, you're not. And what on earth is a cheese weasel?'

'Yes, I am. And 'cheese weasel' is an insult. Very hurtful, or so I perceived. It is also a type of cheese-flavoured snack that is incredibly stupid. Dumb. Dim-witted.'

'No, you're not. And erm, I'm not offended. Or hurt. Where did you hear that?'

'Yes I AM! And, for your information, I overheard some Earth child say it to another a couple of days ago. The other started to cry. It is a very vicious insult.'

'Er, no it isn't.'

'Yes it is!'

'I'm not crying.'

CRACK! Knee to the groin. Goku sank to the ground bawling his eyes out.

'You're crying now.'

'Why'd ….you do…. that?'

'Oh, that was the next thing the Earth child did after the insult.'

'Ah.'

Bulma entered the scene suddenly, racing across the grass with her arms outstretched towards Vegeta. 'Vegeta,' she cried breezily, 'where did you go?' Everyone present raised one eyebrow slightly, including a nearby bird, except for Goku, who wasn't talented enough and raised both eyebrows. Is it needless to say no-one answered her?

(Death; Well it's too late NOW. You already said it (hangs from nearby tree branch watching scene unfold) Don't you agree, DD? DD: (nods vigorously while concentrating on maintaining balance, nodding vigorously and raising an eyebrow) Most certainly I do Death!)

Suddenly, from a nearby tree came a tremendous crash. All turned to stare as a distinct voice distinctly muttered, 'I never was good at climbing trees.' Another voice cried out quickly, as though to explain the huge sound that was still reverberating around the countryside, 'K-kaw. K-kaw!'

Goku cocked his head. 'I know that sound. That's the cry of the Borneo jungle piper. Can't imagine what it's doing all the way over here.'

Immediately there was scuffling noises and someone sighed with an air of exasperation. 'Good one, Destruction. Greeeattt bird call there.' There was a short silence, than, 'Why thank you, Death!' This was followed by another sigh. The two authoresses bickered amongst themselves for a moment before another bird call rang out to explain the first one. 'Koookkaahahhaaaaaaaahhhaaaaa!'

Goku nodded in surprise. 'And that's the call of the Australian Kookaburra. Geez, it's flown really far from its native country when it's not found anywhere else in the world.'

Goku paused as if he was contemplating the pure strength and endurance of such an amazing creature.

There was more scuffling from the grass and then a, 'You idiot, let me try. Ahem, Looooooooooop-diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-looooooooooooooooooooooo!'

Everyone turned to Goku for an explanation. He shook his head after a minute. 'That's no bird I've ever heard before.'

The two authoresses were becoming panicked. After falling from the tree, their grass-covered hats had fallen off, the corks dangling from their special keep-the-flies-off-you- headbands kept on getting in between their binoculars and their eyes and their cover-up bird cries weren't working. Destruction sat up confidently. 'Don't worry. I'll put an end to this!' She opened her mouth wide and…Death stamped down hard on her foot. So what came out was…'Whooooaaarrghgghhbloooarrggghhh!'

Vegeta lifted his head. 'I know that…that's the mating call of the Shooorraaavvarrkiiannnn-mmmooooossskkkkirrrriiiittyyyyymooooo species on the moon of Shrrooorraavarrkkian-moooskirrittyymoooplacemoon. Well it was anyway. I wiped out the entire planet. They had a stupid name.' Everyone nodded understandingly. Vegeta sighed reminiscently. 'Oh I remember when they…' Muffled swearing exploded out of the undergrowth where the two were trying to get closer to the group without being seen. Unfortunately, the bushes they had chosen to conceal themselves in happened to be poison ivy and thorn bushes.

Bulma chose at this time to stare in alarm at Vegeta's head. 'Erm, Vegeta, that peroxide I put in your hair is sort of…making your hair fall out.'

He turned to her and laughed a disbelieving kind of laugh. 'Don't be stupid woman. It's not peroxide, I am a Super Saiyan!'

'Actually, you're..' started Goku but stopped talking when Vegeta turned a dangerous glare on him and mouthed the words 'cheese weasel.'

'No, really Vegeta, you hair's falling out!' Bulma butted in. 'Hmm,' she said quietly, stroking a non-existent beard in a wise fashion. 'Who would have thought peroxide could make your hair fall out?' And indeed it was. Soon all of Vegeta's hair was on the ground and…not on his head. By this time, Vegeta realised he was not, indeed, Super Saiyan after Bulma, stupidly, told him what she had done. He was holding off the ground by her throat when she shoved a mirror at him in self-defence. He shrieked and clutched at it. 'For Kami's sake, I look like that dumb short monk, Krill or an or whatever his name is!' Bulma dared to offer an opinion. 'Krillan?'

'Yeah, him too.' Vegeta waved a white-gloved hand around dismissively. 'What am I going to do?'

Bulma again unwisely offered a suggestion. 'You could wear a wig.'

Vegeta looked up, his dark eyes dangerously dark. 'Excuse me?'

'You know a wig!' Bulma plowed on excitedly. 'I have a neat curly one…and a bright red one and oh wow, you'll look so good in the purple bob!', not noticing the angry Saiyan approaching her with clenched fists, a bald head and shiny features.

The two authoresses watched the following scene, wincing and 'ooh'ing, shaking their heads with feigned sympathy. 'Because, after all, we did write it would happen to her,' Destruction remarked off-handedly. 'Indeedioobly,' answered Death on-handedly.

Vegeta, understandably upset held Bulma upside down and began shaking her like a dog would a particularly disagreeable bone. Goku chose this moment to wisely escape the wrath of Vegeta and his wife Chi-Chi's by returning home to eat 10kg or so of chicken wings. In his haste he tripped over several large and suspicious looking thorn and poison ivy bushes that were sitting quite randomly in the middle of a grassy area. Some muffled swearing then some muffled shushing followed his moment of clumsiness.

"You did this woman! Fix it!" Vegeta roared.

It didn't really have an effect on Bulma since she was giggling, chirping, gurgling and making other sounds of happiness and enjoyment. A typical reaction for Bulma who, much like a cheese weasel never had a good idea of what was going on around her.

"Woman if you don't fix this I will walk around IN PUBLIC with YOU in the lime green pants and pink 'bad man' top you gave me!"

Bulma gasped as if this was the most horrible thing one could do to another and Vegeta smirked realising that he had at last made the woman see reason.

"Do you still have those?" Bulma asked quizzically.

Vegeta of course, kept them in prime condition in the back of his closet by having them dry cleaned regularly but that wasn't the point. He groaned, believing there was no hope. No hope for him and his precious hair, which was quite a desired trait on Earth by now.

"My dad has this hair regrowth cream. He uses it so he doesn't go bald. If I boosted it with some radioactive particles it might stimulate the hair follicles, resulting in extremely fast hair regrowth. I'm sure we could-"

Vegeta flew off back to Capsule Corp. still holding Bulma upside down; whose face was quite red by now so she was complaining that flying her around upside down was doing nothing for her complexion. Vegeta grunted and glided into the slipstream.

Okay so that's it! Or is it? Shall we continue? Quite possibly, but if you review you can be sure of another amazing, strange, whacked chapter of Drunk!

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