"These Trunks are CLEAN!"

Fic #4 in the "Revenge of the Fanfic Author" series

Written By Neko Athenao,o

Rating: PG (mild language, sensuality (Mirai no Trunks IS a main character...), paranormal mayhem, Vegeta OOC (somewhat reluctantly), implied... er, "bedroom games" )

Author's Notes: Oh, yeah... if you haven't figured it out by now, the author is no where near mentally stable. But, that's okay. I guess you aren't too afraid since you've come to fic #4 already. Yeah, I know... DBZ really has NOTHING in common with Poltergeist, right? Too bad, it does now! Did you think I could play favorites and only write for two of my most-favoritest bishonen? How could I just neglect sweet, gorgeous Trunks-kun?

mTru., sweat-drops "I wish you would have..."

Sorry, Sweet-Briefs, but I must appease my evil muse, Edgar, mustn't I? (you can meet Edgar at my little page all about me! http/ blushes "..."

Gee, you're starting to sound like Marron... ooooooh, I LOVES my BISHIES!

This might be off topic, just a tad, but did that stuffed clown in Poltergeist freak anybody ELSE out? Well, it freaked ME out, anyway, it looked possessed... This is a parody LOOSELY based on the film Poltergeist. Do you REALLY wanna know where the inspiration came from? Well, good, cause I'm not so sure meself.

I do know, however, that I can tell you the TUR-KEY CUTTER! Joke came, once again, from my little muses, who happen to be my little cousins, A.K. and K.A.K.

(I will lovingly refer to them as Ak and Kak. Or maybe Junior and Bubba-Louise. Yeah, I bet ya thought I was the black sheep o' the family, eh? HA! My family tree is OVERFLOWING with NUTZ!) Anyhow, the joke originated because we couldn't find Trunks' sword for the action figure, and Kak just happened to have a Barbie turkey-knife-thing that fit in his sheath, and also in his hand. So, while we were having another great round of Action Figure Tournament, I decided the half-time show should consist of Trunks dancing around with his "new" sword singing "TUR-KEY CUTTER, OH MY TUR-KEY CUTTER!" Yeah, it was a hoot! Well, now you know (whether you wanted to or not) where the joke comes from. So there. I know that had absolutely NO bearing on anything whatsoever, but I just thought I'd share it with all of you. I may use it in a later fic, in which I will have to retype this explanation... oh, well...

Do you all remember that episode... well, I can't mention it by name, cause then it would have to appear in the disclaimer, so I hope everyone gets the reference... it is one of the best episodes of that series... heh heh... I can't mention the other show by name, either, for said reasons... sorry.

I suppose it's about time for the fic to start... is anybody still awake out there?

snores from crowd

ahem FREE POCKY!

snores abruptly cease

Well, now that I got everybody's attention, ON WITH THE FIC!

NOTE: Mirai no Trunks will be known as mTrunks. He will also have those long, luxurious, lavender locks. All this is because I say so. Ha, ha, ha.

DISCLAIMER\\ Don't own DragonballZ, or Poltergeist, or Tinker Toys (I've never even owned one set!),

I DO own a TUR-KEY CUTTER! And THIS FIC! Mess w/it, and Guido will breaka you face!

6:30 PM

Bra "But, I don't NEED a baby-sitter!"

Bul. "Now, dear, it's only for tonight. You know what a rare occasion it is when your Father actually offers to take me out to dinner!"

Veg. "I did WHAT!"

:VEGETA IS ON HIS WAY TO CHANGE INTO A NICE SUIT FOR THE ROMANTIC DINNER HE HAD PLANNED TO SPEND WITH HIS LOVELY WIFE. He doesn't have time to sit around talking. And he needs to take a shower, too, because he's been training all day and he smells horrible.:

Veg. "The HELL? I DID NO SUCH—"

:Swept up in sudden emotion, Vegeta scoops Bulma up in his arms and plants a passionate kiss on her unsuspecting lips.:

Veg., breaks kiss "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?"

Bul. "Why, I haven't the faintest, Vege-chan, but I ain't complaining!"

:Bra stomps up to her room to pout as Bulma closes in for another smooch.:

Bra "Man, I can't believe they're sticking me with a sitter! I am old enough to take care of myself—"

:The frustrated teen slumps on her bed and hugs a stuffed pink Hiya-dragon to her chest.:

Bra, baby-voice "Isn't that right, Mr. Snuggle-Wuggles? Yes. We don't need any stinky-winky sitter!"

Bul., from downstairs "BRA! COME ON DOWN, THE SITTER'S HERE!"

:Carefully, Bra sets the dragon on her bed, making certain the plush is "comfy-wumfy," then puts on her best pouty-face (the one that always suckers in Dear Ol' Dad) and trudges downstairs. When she reaches the bottom, however, her little jaw hits the floor.:

Bra "OH MY KAMI-SAMA! Onii-san, what HAPPENED to you?"

Bul. "Oh, Bra, I forgot, you never did get the privilege of meeting your Future Brother. Bra, this is Trunks, but from the other timeline. Remember, the story I used to tell you about that scary, old space-witch that got cut up into a million pieces and fried? Well, this is the Trunks that did it!"

mTru., blushes "Hello... nice to meet you..."

Bra "Wha... whoa, you are SOOOO different from my Bro, he is like, NOT polite or anything!"

mTru. "... Thanks... I guess..."

Bul. 'Well, we'll see you kids later, m'kay? Have fun and don't trash the house or get in any Earth-shattering battles!"

:Bulma, dressed in a sleek red evening gown hauls Tuxedo Vegeta out the door while he desperately tries to loosen the "noose" around his neck. After the door is closed, a few profanities echo into the night, and the love-birds are gone. mTrunks turns to his would-be sibling. The two eye each other.:

mTru. "So..."

Bra "So..."

mTru. "Uh... what do you want to do?"

Bra, shrugs "I dunno..."

mTru. "Are you... hungry?"

Bra, shakes hand "A l-i-t-t-l-e bit..."

mTru., smiles "Alrighty-then! I'll cook something for you!"

:Bra follows mTrunks into the kitchen, eyes wide with disbelief. She sits down at the kitchen's bar and watches in amazement as mTrunks pokes around in the cabinets, pulling out a few pans, and making ready. He looks up at her and smiles, a warm, friendly, inviting smile. Half the Fangirl Brigade melts.:

mTru. "Well, now, little lady, what can I get for you?"

Bra "Pancakes... ?"

mTru. "Pancakes it is! Anything special?"

Bra "... With blueberries mixed in?"

mTru. "Blueberry pancakes, comin' right up!"

:With that, Trunks opens the refrigerator, gathers the ingredients he needs, and sets about mixing the dough. Bra cups her head in her hands, elbows on the bar, and watches with fascination.:

Bra "Can you REALLY cook?"

mTru. "Oh, yeah! In my time, our Mom was working a lot on her time machine, so I had to cook sometimes. It's pretty easy, actually."

Bra "WOW..."

mTru. "What's the big deal?"

Bra "Well... My brother can't cook AT ALL! He's even blown up our microwave before, with tin foil, not ki..."

mTru. "Hm..."

Bra "Yeah, you guys are NOTHING alike... Bro's a big nerd and can be a jerk when he wants to be. He's not all polite and cool like you are."

mTru. "Weird... yeah, the last time I saw myself, I was just a baby..." blinks "That sentence made no sense whatsoever."

Bra "I wonder why you guys turned out so different?"

mTru. "Yeah... I wonder... It's probably because we grew up in different worlds, I guess. In my timeline, I never even knew our Father, I just got to know him a little in this timeline."

Bra "Hmph... you ain't missin' much..."

mTru. "Hey... you know where the mixer is?"

Bra "Yeah, bottom-left-hand cabinet on the other side of the oven."

mTru., looks "Um... no? Where?"

Bra, sighs "I'll show ya..."

:Bra gets up and walks around the bar. She stoops beside the cabinet and roots around to find the mixer. She hands it to mTrunks, and they both straighten and turn... and scream. There, on the bar, where before there was nothing, stands a mass of Tinker-Toys erected in an odd-looking symbol.:

(0) (0)

/ \\ / \\

/ \\ / \\

/ \\ (0)(0) (0)(0) / \\

/ \\ / \\ / \\ / \\

/ \\ (0) (0) (0) (0) / \\

/ \\ / \\

/ \\ (0) (0) (0) (0) / \\

/ \\ / \\ / \\/ \\ / \\ / \\

(0)(0) (0)(0) (oo) (0)(0) (0)(0)

(0)

Bra "What the—"

mTru. "Where on Kami's Green Namek did THAT come from?"

Bra "I... I d-d-d-don't know..."

:The two stare in utter shock at the edifice, of sorts, that has seemingly built itself on the counter-top in a matter of a few seconds. Now, had her real brother been much younger, Bra would have considered that this could be an elaborate prank. However, she knew very well her REAL brother was on a business trip in the Bahamas, and had, for the post part, outgrown his trick-playing phase. Therefore, she simply gawked at the strange phenomena until it teetered over and broke, Tinker-Toy pieces spilling everywhere. For a moment, neither could move.:

mTru. "Um... I guess we should... pick them up... or something..."

Bra "Y-y-y-y-yeah... I g-g-guess s-so..."

:Frightened, they begin to collect the toys.:

Bra "Hey, Trunks... what do you think that meant? Who... H-how d-d-do you think that... HAPPENED?"

mTru. "I don't know... I can't think of what... maybe it's just a... a thing... you know, like that stuff that happens on TV and they can't explain it... it just... HAPPENS..."

Bra, gulps "You don't think it was a... g-g-g-ghost, do you?"

mTru. "Nah... I don't think so... I HOPE not..."

8:00 PM

:Meanwhile, a trio of violins serenade a young couple in love as they dine in intimate candlelight, while the stars wink in the romantic velvet sky.:

Veg. "I think I am going to MURDER those fiddling fools if they don't beat it!"

Bul. "It's ROMANTIC, Vege-chan!"

Veg. "It's NOISE!"

Bul., blushes and giggles "Does this mean you'd rather be bats eyelashes ALONE?"

Veg., eyes narrow with suspicion "What is that supposed to mean?"

:A hopelessly clueless Vegeta continues to dig a grave through the center of the Earth's core, and the beautiful night of passion continues.:

9:37 PM

:While mTrunks toils over the dishes (puts them into the Super Capsule Dishwasher), Bra is sitting on her bed, cross-legged in front of the gigantic, 75 inch TV her Mom bought her for her Un-Birthday last year. Currently, she is engrossed in the latest episode of her favorite sitcom, "My Favorite Space-Pirate," which features the adventures of a vicious love triangle between a man, a space pirate, and an alien princess who live together at the same shrine in rural Japan. The pirate has just announced over dinner that she is pregnant with the man's baby. Bra can't decide whether she is happy that the less-annoying woman will get the guy, or whether she is angry she can't have him for herself. She has ALWAYS been a very big fan of that particular leading man, and has a few very large posters of him plastered to her ceiling above her bed. She is VERY deeply engrossed in the show, so engrossed, that she fails to notice the symbol that is slowly burning its way onto the wall above the TV. Nor does she notice the mist-like thing issuing from the mark and slowly seeping into the TV from behind. Downstairs, mTrunks has curled up by the fireplace on the couch (Fangirl Brigade burns with desire) with a good book for the night.:

12:45 PM

:Hours later, Bra lies on her tummy, facing the TV, out cold on her bed. Snoring quite loudly, she fell asleep in the middle of her very-favorite action show about not one, not two, but FOUR very tempting young pilots fighting a war in space (there is a 5th pilot, but nobody cares about him). She smiles in her sleep, enjoying the lovely dreams the show is giving her. A bit of drool begins to dribble from her lips. Now, the TV's bright, snowy glow shines over her unconscious form. Slowly, however, her eyes flutter, and she squints in the light. She hauls herself up and rubs her eyes sleepily, and is about to turn off the TV via remote, when she abruptly stops. Her blue eyes grow wide, and she slips off the bed. With her face inches from the screen, she whispers to an unknown.:

Bra "No way... really?"

:Suddenly, the room behind her erupts into utter chaos. Her closet flies open and all her clothes begin to spin in a tornado in mid air. Her bed begins to buck wildly, and Mr. Snuggle-Wuggles bounces atop it, like a cowboy riding a bull. The windows and doors open and slam shut. Bra lets loose a terrified scream, which rouses her alter-Brother from his comfy spot on the couch. However, when he reaches the room, the door slams shut and he cannot budge it... for about three-tenths of a second until the door realizes that there is precious little it can do to withstand the power of a Super Saiya-jinn and submits to his awesome strength like so many others have before (Fangirl Brigade nods). Once inside, he sees not a trace of his pseudo-sibling.:

mTru. "BRA! ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? WHERE ARE YOU?"

:There is no answer to the frantic Bishonen's desperate calls. Fear mounting, he begins to fling the piles of clothing away, only to find the plushie-dragon staring back at him, with an almost sadistic look in it's plastic eyes. mTrunks looks around the room, collapsing to his knees. It is then that he sees the sinister symbol above the TV. It is in the same shape as the Tinker-Toys. This reminds mTrunks of young Bra's earlier words, and his blood runs cold.:

Bra, gulps "You don't think it was a... g-g-g-ghost, do you?"

mTru. "Nah... I don't think so... I HOPE not..."

:Suddenly, he is jolted from his thoughts by a strange sound coming from the TV. He stares into the blizzard of pixels on the screen for a few moments, then gasps. Bra's voice is coming from the set, itself.:

TVBra "Hey... what are you lookin' at?"

2:00 AM

Baba "I'm glad you called me, Young Man, even though it IS an unholy hour of the night..."

mTru. "I'm SOOO sorry, Baba-sama, but I didn't know who else to call—"

Baba "It's all right. Just give me a minute. Don't tell me anything more, I need to FEEL it for myself..."

:The old witch floats into the house on her crystal ball. She stops in the middle of the living room and closes her eyes for a moment. Then, looking around her, she floats up the stairs and right toward Bra's room. The door is closed.:

Baba, solemnly "This... is the heart of the house..."

:Baba turns and slowly floats toward another door... the hall bathroom...:

Baba, solemnly "And this... is the bladder of the house..."

:Baba turns and floats down the stairs... to the kitchen...:

Baba, solemnly "And this... is the stomach of the house..."

2:30 AM

:Baba floats out... of the garage...:

Baba, solemnly "And that... was the pancreas of the house..."

mTru. "Please, Baba-sama... Do you know where BRA is?"

Baba, gives mTru. A dirty look "Don't you want to know where the adrenal gland of the house is?"

mTru., sweat-drops "Um, heh heh... maybe some other time... Mom & Dad might come back any minute and I really think I'd like to have Bra here, safe and sound, when that happens..."

Baba, sighs "Very well, Child..."

:mTrunks follows her into the living room, where the mystic and her ball settle down on the couch. Trunks pulls up a chair, and awaits her verdict tensely.:

Baba, whispers mysteriously "There are many spirits in this house... many souls who are lost, who cannot find the light..."

mTru., wails "Oh, NO! Bra was right, it WAS a ghost! Is she possessed? Will she die? Mom and Dad will KILL me..."

Baba "SILENCE, BOY! You're ruining the mood! ahem May I continue?"

mTru., sheepishly "Yes, ma'am."

Baba, whispers mysteriously "But there is something else here in this place. A dark entity. It is the entity that has your sister..."

mTru. "..."

Baba "You can panic, now."

mTru. "Oh, POOR BRA! What can we DO, Baba-sama? Can we get her back?"

Baba "This spirit... is not like the others, Trunks. It has a strong grip on your sister... It lies to her... tells her things that only an obsessive Fangirl could understand..."

mTru. "That sounds HORRIBLE! Oh, Baba-sama, tell me you can DO something!"

Baba "Perhaps... I can try..."

:Baba begins to float once again, and sails into the middle of the room. She hops off the ball, and begins to chant as she waves her hands over the crystal. It begins to glow.:

Baba, deep trance "BRA... CAN YOU HEAR ME, BRA?"

mTru. "..."

Baba, still in deep trance "TELL THEM TO WALK TOWARD THE LIGHT, BRA... WALK TOWARD THE LIGHT..."

mTru. "Uh, Baba-sama... are you sure you—"

Baba, deeper in trance "WALK TOWARD THE LIGHT... WALK TOWARD THE FRIGGIN' LIGHT, YOU SHIFTLESS HOBO SPIRITS! QUIT FREELOADING, DAMMIT! GO TOWARD THE LIGHT WHERE YOU BELONG! THAT LIGHT IS YOUR HOME! GO HOME, NOW! ARE YOU TOO GOOD FOR YOUR HOME?"

mTru., sweat-drops "Baba-sama... are you okay..."

Baba, comes out of trance "Huh, wha—oh, so sorry, Young Man... I get carried away sometimes... grumble bums, just sit around..."

mTru. "So, did you talk to Bra? Is she all right?"

Baba "Yes, she is doing fine, but... we must act quickly. I am going to try to open a portal... You go up and wait in her room. When you see the portal, dive in and find Bra. If I have calculated right, you should come out over here..."

:She floats over to the foot of the stairs and pulls out a big red Garage Sale marker, drawing a big "X" on the floor. mTrunks gulps nervously.:

mTru. "Just where am I going?"

Baba "Oh, somewhere in the vicinity of Purgatory... not exactly Hell, I imagine..."

:mTrunks nods, and, like the perfect, wonderful, and all-around swell guy he is, accepts his mission bravely. He begins to ascend the stairs as Baba rolls up her sleeves to begin the spell.:

Baba "Oh, Trunks... ONE MORE THING... If you see King Enma, tell him I said 'Hi.' "

mTru., stops "Right."

:He continues a few more steps.:

Baba "Oh, and Trunks... ONE MORE THING... Tell him also that he still owes me 2300¥."

mTru., stops again "Uh, okay... whatever..."

:He continues to the second-to-last step.:

Baba "Oh... And Trunks? ONE MORE THING..."

mTru., stops "WHAT?"

Baba "If you don't get her and get out in thirty seconds, you'll both most probably die and be stuck in Purgatory forever, wandering the land as lost souls."

mTru., turns blue w/fear "WHAT? Why didn't you say that in the first place?"
Baba, shrugs "You going or not?"

:mTrunks bites down a VERY impolite comment and heads for Bra's room. Baba begins the incantation, and before long, a swirling, twisting cloud of mist appears on the ceiling. The force behind the wind blows Baba's hat off her little head, and pictures fly from the wall in all directions. The portal begins to open, and mTrunks shouts above the gale from upstairs.:

mTru. "HERE I GO, BABA-SAMA!"

:In he dives, a look of determination on his handsome, perfect, and otherwise dreamy face. Baba continues her chant, awaiting the Saiya-jin to emerge. Suddenly, a scream can be heard from the vortex, getting closer, and closer, and closer, until...:

THUNK

mTru., pants "THAT—WAS—THE—MOST—HORRIBLE—PLACE—CANDLES—EVERYWHERE—SATIN—SHEETS—ACK—HELP—PLEASE—NO—MORE..."

:Baba looks up to find mTrunks sitting squarely on the red "X", with Bra in his arms. She notices that there is a strange, dark brownish substance covering the shocked young warrior and his shirt is torn apart. Bra, herself, is clean. Bra stands up and regards her rescuer, snickering wickedly.:

Bra "Boy, did she get YOU good... She really knows her stuff!"

:With that, the girl walks back up to her room, going over a large notebook with a highlighter. mTrunks curls himself into a ball on the floor and shivers with terror. Baba, utterly bewildered, walks over to mTrunks, who is about on eye-level. Slowly, she grasps a fine strand of lavender and slides her fingers off. She sniffs the brownish goo, then licks her finger.:

Baba "Trunks... why the hell are covered in chocolate sauce? And what happened to your clothes?"

mTru. "AAAAHHHH! The PAIN, the HORROR! I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!"

:mTrunks, resolved to flee before suffering anymore punishment, leaps up and heads for the door. However, he doesn't stop there. He continues through the door, to his time machine, and back to his home time, seeking the comfort of Mommy. Baba watches him go, then decides to check on Bra. Climbing the stairs, she finds the girl sitting at a desk in her room, typing ferociously and biting her lip. She stops now and then to consult the notebook, then lets out blood-chilling cackles of sinful pleasure before resuming. Baba quickly decides that proceeding with caution would be most tactful, as the girl has obviously been driven mad.:

Baba, keeps eyes on Bra "Bra... Honey... what are you doing..."

:Bra stops in mid-cackle, blinks, then turns to the pint-sized witch. Her expression is the picture of innocence.:

Bra "Oh, NOTHING, Baba-sama, nothing AT ALL... Just thought I'd write a little... heh heh heh... Hahahaha... MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

:As Bra enjoys her laugh of sheer evil, Baba quickly backs to the door, eyes wide, and shows herself out. As she returns to the living room to retrieve her ball, Vegeta is carrying a thunder-struck Bulma through the front door.:

Veg. "And now, my beloved... I will FURTHER prove my undying and everlasting love for you... WHAT THE HELL AM I SAYING!"

Bul. "My KAMI, Vege-chan! I have NO IDEA what's gotten into you, but PLEASE don't stop!"

Veg., purrs "I love it when you call me that..." blinks, screams "NO, I DON'T! WHAT THE F—"

:Baba only shakes her head and, once again mounting the crystal, floats away. The couple remains completely oblivious, locked in yet another searing kiss.:

NEXT MORNING

12:30 PM

:Bulma yawns and stretches as she makes her way down the hall. She was never able to sleep past 9:00 before, but after the previous night... well, let's just say she needs a little more training to stand with a Super Saiya-jinn for ten rounds. She passes her daughter's room. From inside, she can hear the stereo spinning one of Bra's thousands of soundtracks and the fervent tapping of computer keys. Perplexed, she decides to investigate. Bra is still sitting at her computer, typing madly.:

Bul. "G'mornin', Sweetie! Did you have fun last night with Mirai no Trunks?"

Bra, turns "Hm? Oh... I didn't... but someone else did..."

:With that, Bra erupts in a fit of maniacal laughter fit to scare the socks off of anyone within earshot. Bulma, who is still too asleep to register the full depth of her daughter's madness, just smiles and pats her on the head.:

Bul. "That's nice, Dear... YAWN So, whatcha doin' so early?"

Bra "Oh, just writing..."

Bul. "Whatcha writin'?"

:Bra's eyes flare with an unholy light, and the single most immoral smile ever recorded to have been smiled stretches across her lips. Her voice becomes dangerously low as she lovingly pats the notebook, full of the notes, tips, and pointers she gathered from her "host" the night before.:

Bra "Nothing much... just a FANFIC..."

Bul. "That's great, Hon! I'll go make break—er, lunch, m'kay?"

:Bulma turns and walks toward the stairs, musing to herself.:

Bul. "Yeah... I guess that WOULD explain Vege-chan acting so strange..."

End