A/N: Dude, long time since I last updated, eh? Well, here's Chappie 3, so everyone who thinks I'm insane (which is probably 90 of my readers/reviewers) and love this story, here it is!

Plus, I've received a review saying that slash was same gender pairings. When I first wrote this story, I forgot about that. He he.

Chapter 3: Enter the Writer

Quistis, Selphie and Rinoa stared at the guest with a "what-the-fuck" expression. Laguna, who had entered the room, smiled at them. "Yo. Wussup? Why is Squall hammering that vase to pieces? Why is Irvine singing "It's raining Men"? Why is Zell running around in a chicken costume? Why is Seifer screaming-" but Laguna was interrupted. "Very observant, Laguna. Why don't you just ask us about the laptop we're looking at?" Quistis pointed out. Laguna stared at the laptop for a minute. "What are you doing with a laptop...?" he asked slowly. "OOH, OOH!" Selphie literally screamed. "ZELL-FOUND-A-SLASH-SITE-BASED-ON-US-AND-WE'VE-BEEN-READING-THEM-FOR-AN-HOUR-AND-SINCE-MOST-OF-THE-STORIES-WE'VE-READ-IS-BASED-ON-THE-GUYS-DOING-IT-THEY'RE-ALL-CONFUSED-IF-THEY'RE-GAY-OR-NOT!" Selphie then said in one breathe. Laguna stood there with his mouth wide open, then he started to laugh. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Seriously, how bad could those stories be? Lemme read one of them!" he said, grabbing the laptop and reading the next piece of insanity...

"Untitled"

Laguna leaned on his bright red car. He had caught a date on an Internet dating service. He seemed enthusiastic to meet his date, clutching a large bouquet of flowers in his right hand.

Laguna: C'mon... hurry up...

Laguna checked his watch. It was 12:05, fifteen minutes before his date was supposed to start. Then suddenly, a yellow taxi cab pulled up beside his car, and out came a figure in a long black coat. The hood of the buttoned coat was covering the face of the wearer. Laguna smiled sweetly.

Laguna: Hi, you must be Jaylene!

Jaylene: Whatever.

Laguna: (thinking) Whoa... why is her voice so rough? Oh well, might as well give her the flowers.

Laguna then presented Jaylene with the bouquet of flowers. Jaylene looked at the bouquet with her sharp eyes hidden underneath her hood suspiciously, but accepted them anyway.

Laguna: Err... d-do you want some coffee?

Jaylene: Whatever.

Laguna raised a brow, but took his strange date to the coffee shop. After he bought the coffee, he brought it to the table where Jaylene was waiting.

Laguna: So Jaylene... can you tell me a bit about yourself?

Jaylene: Wasn't the Internet enough?

Laguna: Who knows if those bios are true?

Jaylene: Whatever.

Laguna then tried to look underneath Jaylene's hood, but instead she lowered her head,

Laguna: Why don't you take your coat off?

Jaylene: Not now.

Laguna: Why?

Jaylene: If you take me to the park, I'll take it off.

Laguna looked at her suspiciously, but agreed and took her to the park. As soon as they got there, they hid behind a large cluster of trees. Jaylene then slowly pulled up the lid. But before Laguna could see her face clearly, he planted a soft kiss on her lips. When he pulled back to see her 'beautiful' face, he recoiled in horror, for his date didn't really look very feminine.

Laguna: S-SEIFER!

Laguna then screamed his head off. Seifer then looked at him with a weird expression.

Seifer: You're a good kisser!

Laguna: EWW! I KISSED A GUY!

Seifer: So? there's nothing wrong with that. It's called "gay".

Laguna screamed again, but Seifer then kissed him. Laguna couldn't help but not resist...

(end)

Laguna, like his story counterpart, screamed his head off. Rinoa slapped her forehead. "And he's supposed to be a writer." she said sympathetically. "Girls, we need to cure these men before they make like Laguna's personality and become gay!" Quistis said frantically. "Right! I'll turn off the laptop, you guys calm them down! Selphie cried. "Why do you get to do the easy part!" Rinoa asked angrily. "Stop argueing and work, dammit!" Quistis cried. The girls nodded and set off to work and began saving their male friends.

A/N: ...Not as good as the others, you'll agree. I'll make up for it next chapter, when Quistis, Rinoa and Selphie try to revive Laguna, Squall, Zell and Irvine's masculine sides. Plus, there will be NO MORE slash stories, as I have run out of ideas. Sorry guys, but I'll try to add your late suggestions to another story, maybe to a sequel to this story ( I haven't decided!). So please hang on to this story, and please, REVIEW! Or else I'll be really, REALLY sad:(