A/n: Here ya go with chapter 14…yep another chapter that took forever to write. You are probably tired of hearing my excuses so I won't give you one this time, which is good cause I have no excuse! Hahah Enjoy the story though!

Special thanks: Cosmic Castaway as usual for reading parts of it and letting me know what sounds good and what not! Thanks so much. Also to everyone who hasn't lost interest in this story yet, and who still take the time to leave me reviews, they are greatly appreciated and don't go un-noticed!

Deep Blue Chapter Fourteen: A Positive Spin

Silence. That's all that could be heard all morning long, except for the sound of drops being hit against the porcelain of the bathroom sink. Bosco's eyelids began to flutter as his body finally began to wake up from the torment that was recently sent through it. He forced himself to roll over, but shut his eyes tightly, blocking out all of the light that seemed so damaging.

He felt his head pound, as if there was some kind of drum locked inside. He had a mental fight, 'should I get up, or not?' It was so hard to make his eyes open, as if bricks were taped to his eyelids. After what seemed like an hour, they fluttered open, but the sunrays that poured through his window made his head pound harder, each pulse hurt worse than the one before.

He moved his arm to the right side of his body, feeling something extremely unpleasant. He fought his screaming, sore body yet again, sitting up on the cold tile, seeing that he was on his bathroom floor. He slowly averted his eyes to where he recently had his hand, seeing a puddle of his own vomit that had began to cake up from the air. He had fallen asleep in his own stomach acid, saturated with alcohol, causing him to gag at the thought of laying in it the whole night. He remained there a few more moments, unable to gain the will to move, then realized he had to work, and he wasn't even sure what time it was. He stood up, but lost his balance, catching himself on the bathroom counter top, making sure he didn't end up back at square one again. A rush of dizziness overtook him, and he slowly took a few steps, glancing at the clock on his wall. It was 1:30, and he had to be to work at 3:00.

Never before did his bedroom look so far away, but he needed some fresh clothes before he took his shower. It was as if he was dragging an anchor behind him. He finally made it back to the bathroom, glancing in the mirror, stepping back at the site in front of him. His eyes were sunken in deep. They were bloodshot, the red was so bright it overtook the blue of his irises.

He was sure that if he ran into Faith today that she would surely note his appearance and say something about it, but he didn't care. She was a detective, it came natural for her to observe. What he dreaded was the questions he was sure that she'd ask. He knew he wanted her to help, for her to be around but he didn't even want to think about giving in at the moment.

He took a quick shower, letting the hot water run over his pale skin, each drop that trickled down made his body relax as best as it could. He still couldn't believe that he had fallen asleep the way he did, like he was some college student going on some weekend drinking binge. Doing this to himself didn't accomplish anything. Sure, for a few hours he had forgotten all of his problems but when he woke up the same problems were there, slapping him in the face, but he had a nice hangover to go with it.

He now only had a few minutes to get to work so he rushed out the door, despite his aching body telling him no.

"Everyone, keep your eyes open for him. He's armed and dangerous…" Swersky paused, seeing Bosco barge in late to role call. He watched him as he found an empty chair in the back. He continued, "As I was saying, his name is Josh Mallard, last seen in Battery Park. Also, update on Officer Finney. He's doing well, he began rehab today, so go by and see him if you can." He looked up from his papers. "Boscorelli, see me after role call."

That was no surprise for Bosco. Lately it was a routine for him to meet with Swersky afterwards. He slowly walked to the podium, trying not to make eye contact with his superior.

"Bosco, what are you doing here?" Swersky folded his arms over his chest, keeping his voice low until all of the other officers were out of the room.

Flashing him a questionable look, Bosco asked, "What do you mean? I'm here to pull another glorious day of desk duty."

"I'm talking about your appearance. Go home, take a sick day. I can tell you aren't feeling good." He looked him up and down again. "Are you okay Bosco?"

Bosco stepped back, holding his hands up. It was now evident that he wasn't hiding his problems so well, but he of course wouldn't admit that. "Oh jeez, not you too Lieu. I'm fine, I just didn't sleep well last night."

"Go home Bosco, get yourself in order. I don't need you here right now." He saw Bosco was about to say something. "No, I don't want to hear it! Go!"

Bosco stared at him a second, not sure what to do. "This is bullshit boss." With that comment he left, pushing through other cops that were standing in line at radio check out. He even saw Faith, and so bad did he want to pull her aside, to tell her that she was right and he did need her help. No, he was a prideful man, and he'd never admit that, he didn't feel he was that desperate. He couldn't even look at her as he walked by, he just continued to stare down at his shoes. He was ashamed, and she could tell that he was. Shaking her head, she walked to her office, her mind was racing so much that she didn't even notice that Cruz was in there, talking to Jelly.

"Yokas, is that all right?"

She looked up from her coffee cup, seeing them staring back at her. Cruz's lip was brought up into a snarl, the particular one that made the hair on Faith's neck raise up.

"She didn't even hear what you said Jelly. Too busy thinking she's better than everyone else." Cruz replied, propping her leg up on the desk.

"No Cruz, I've just gotten so good at blocking out your voice the second I see you. Now, what the hell are you doing in my office?"

Cruz flashed an arrogant smile, glancing at Jelly as if he was the referee in this wit-match. She leaned back in her chair, causing the hinges to squeak from years of wear and tear.

"Yokas, I've got a case that I think is crossing over on one of yours. I'm going to be working with Jelly on this. That's what I'm doing here. It's about Mallard. Believe me, it's not voluntary." She stood up, adjusting the long chain that was holding her badge.

Faith glared at Jelly. "Have fun with her today, you are the primary on the Mallard case, not me."

"Where are you gonna be?" He asked, watching as Faith began edging towards the door.

"In role call, listening to finger nails being dragged across the chalkboard. It'll be much more pleasant than an 8 hour shift with Cruz." With that she walked out, leaving Cruz standing there, speechless.

In all reality she was headed to find Bosco. She knew he took it hard when Lieu sent him home, and with all of the other problems that were built up it was like a snowball effect, soon to be an avalanche. She was sure that Swersky was going to stop her on the way out the front door, but he asked no questions as he gave her a small wave.

She let out a heavy sigh as she walked. Bosco didn't live an outrageous distance from the station house, and the weather was tolerable outside so she decided to pass on wasting gas. More people were out than she expected, probably doing the same thing she was, enjoying the beautiful day. For some reason she couldn't focus though. No matter who or what she saw in front of her, her mind wondered to Bosco.

Sometimes she felt that their friendship had dissipated. Of course it had over the years, most friendships did, but things really had changed drastically for them. He had always been the type of person that just wouldn't vent to anyone, if he vented at all for that matter. But with her he did, up until a few years ago when Cruz came in, putting those bad ideas in his head. She was glad he snapped out of her antics, but they had never been the same since then.

She knew she could get him to talk though. She remembered saying she wasn't going to try and help him anymore, that she had given up, but she wasn't the one to let one of her friends roll up and die as she stood by, watching it play out before her. She could see in his eyes how badly he just needed to let things off of his chest. It tore at her heart to see him like this.

She reached his floor, hearing the elevator bell ding caused her to jump. She was on edge already, and the slightest of sounds made her heart skip a beat.

She slowly walked down the narrow hall, smoother her shirt with her hands as she stood outside his door.

She finally worked up the courage to knock. She stood back, trying to hear anything on the other side of the door. She nearly gave up waiting when she heard the door come open and there stood Bosco, already changed back into his civvies.

"Faith? What are you doing here?" Deep down he was very glad to see her, but embarrassed. His house still hadn't been cleaned, the evidence of his bingeing was everywhere.

"Let me in and we can talk." She stepped forward, already taking notice to his place.

"Sorry about the mess." He said as he picked up an empty bottle of beer.

"No, don't worry about it. That's not why I'm here."

"Why are you here, Yokas?"

She tried to keep her eyes from wondering he'd pick up on that quickly. "I think you know why I'm here Bosco." She paused. "Before you blow up and tell me you are fine just hear me out."

He nodded his head, waiting.

"Bosco, you are not fine. Where do you get off thinking that you can say that to me? I know you better than anyone else besides your mother."

He licked his lips, unsure of what t say to this. She was very right, and no quick remarks came to his mind fast enough to try and cover it to dig a deeper hole.

"I know you don't like to tell others your problems, and you've got your pride, but when I come to you, let me help before you make things worse. Same goes for me when I'm having a hard time."

Bosco shifted his weight. "You wanna know why I didn't want your help?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Because I didn't realize myself that I needed it. Last night was a wake up all for me. I blacked out, woke up in my own damn puke. Evidently everyone was noticing but me." He felt very awkward saying all of this, but it finally reached the point that it boiled over, and a weight was being lifted off of him. He lowered his voice to almost a whisper, "Faith, I need your help."

She grabbed his hand. "You know I'm here."

He looked up, giving her a small smile. "Where do we start?"

"Start by going and seeing Finney."

Finney was glad to start rehab. It was a different type of rehab than he had ever heard of though. They sat him down on mats, like in a gym, and worked his legs, seeing if he could get any movement. At times it was so discouraging for him, but he would not give up. He couldn't see himself never walking again, there was just no way.

He was extremely happy to see his hospital room again, and he never thought that could be possible. It was weird when the nurses had to help him in bed with his mother standing by, seeing how helpless her son actually was. He hated it when Grace was there too. It just didn't seem right, he was never helpless his entire life and he didn't like anyone seeing it.

"We'll be back later officer."

He nodded, leaning his head back on the pillow, resting from the physical endurance he just went through. His mom and Grace where there.

"Brendan, I gotta get to work. I'm late." She kissed his forehead and gave his mother a hug. "I'll come back later during my shift."

He shook his head. "It's okay if you can't, thanks Grace." He watched her walk out, but was caught off guard when he saw someone else come through his door. He blinked his eyes, unsure if they were failing him, or if he was having another one of his crazy dreams he had been having lately from the medications.

"Bosco?"

Bosco nodded at him, and Faith walked in behind him. There was no way he wanted to go up to his room alone, he wasn't ready for that yet. "Hey Finney, how you feeling." He sat down, smiling at Finney's mother who was actually happy to see him. He wasn't sure how to act around her, seeing as she blew up at him when this first happened. Maybe she had some time to cool down, but he didn't want to risk it.

"I'm a little tired, they had me doing some weird stuff today."

Bosco wanted to apologize for not coming to see him, but he felt like it would be best if he did it in privacy. He stood up, pacing back and forth at the end of his bed. "Yeah, before you know it you'll be doing it like a pro."

Finney smiled. Faith could see in his eyes that he really appreciated that Bosco had finally came. Finney looked up to Bosco for everything, and never once held it personal against him that this had happened. His face grew serious, looking over at his mother who squeezed his hand tightly.

"Ma, can you give me and Bosco a minute?"

She nodded, and Faith followed her out. "We'll be down in the cafeteria."

Finney turned back to Bosco. "I just wanted to let you know that I never blamed you for all of this. This isn't your fault. I'm the one that made the decision of chasing him, I did it to myself."

Bosco put his hand up. "You don't need to apologize, Finney. You've been through enough hell, don't do this to yourself either." He ran his hands over his hair. Despite the fact that Finney had said that, it still didn't change the fact that he felt responsible, but no matter what anyone said his feelings would never change. That's just the way he was, if he was superior officer and the call came in, everything that happened was on him. That's how he was taught.

"Yeah I do Bosco, it's just something I've been wanting to tell you since I woke up."

Bosco finally sat down again, staring down at the tiled floor that probably had more germs than a hospital should have. He ran his shoes across it, looking up again at Finney who was silent. Now was the opportune time to tell him what he needed to, while everyone else was gone.

"I've got something I want to tell you also. And this is going to be hard for me so bear with me." He paused as he fidgeted with his hands. "I'm sorry I didn't come see you sooner. I should've come by, given you my support but I just couldn't. I have been really messed up lately, and I just want you to know that it's not because of you. It's me, I'm not man enough to face up to things."

"I understand Bosco. I did at first think I did something, but after awhile I knew."

Bosco chewed on the inside of his cheek, thinking of something else to say. "We sure do miss you back at the station. Swersky has me riding the desk right now."

Finney arched his eyebrow, smirking. "No kidding. Can't say I'm not surprised. No one's there to keep your ass in line." He gave a small laugh.

Bosco was happy to see that he still had his sense of humor. To be in a hospital bed, unable to use your legs had gotta be one of the most frustrating things, and here he was, able to crack jokes. He wouldn't ever say this, but he saw that as inspirational. Never before did he think that some rookie would inspire him, but Finney did. They had developed a partnership that he never thought possible, and Finney was like his little brother.

"Just do me a favor Finney and get your ass up and going again before I end up killing someone."

"I'll be back quicker than you think. This hospital room gives anyone the power to work hard at getting better as fast as they can. Believe me on that."

Bosco shook his hand, remembering the most recent time he had been in the hospital after being shot. The days seemed like years to him. "I do, believe me I do."

"Thanks for coming by Bosco, it really means a lot."

Bosco nodded his head. "Shit Finney, now you gotta go getting all mushy on me. I thought I taught you better than that." His face grew serious. "I'm just kidding. I'm glad I came now. I feel a lot better now that I got over being a hard ass about this. I'll see you later so you can get rest. Take it easy."

"You too, man. See ya later." Finney watched as Bosco left, the corners of his mouth folded up into a smile that he couldn't control. He felt so corny at the moment, he had never really talked to another guy like that, been so honest about the way he was feeling but in this case it worked. Today was a good day and a move forward in a struggle that seemed to only be pushing them backwards.

TBC…..

Thanks again to all of you who take the time to read/review this. It's appreciated so much, and you guys are what keep me writing. Again, thanks, and I hope to have another chapter up soon!