Saturday 04/17/86
How many times can a dream come to a person? Why does it come? From where? There seems to be a dream that lives within me. It doesn't just replay over and over again, like those other broken record dreams, it actually lives . . . It is so vivid, so real, that every morning when I wake up I feel as though I have just lived it. It has now come back 2 nights in a row, and I took the first chance I had to write about it.
It's like a very important memory that comes back to you over and over again. I have a feeling that something like it has actually happened, not too long ago . . . It's also got a very Labyrinth feel to it – the air is different, things keep sliding in and out of focus, there aren't really any significant events, yet it seems very important as a whole . . .
It comes from Jareth's world . . . I think I see his face in it a few times . . . I'm there, all dressed up, all of me as light as a feather, and then . . . It's so hard to remember! I'm dressed up . . . dancing . . . I think I'm at a sort of ball . . . yes, something like that . . . His face flashes by a few times . . . then it all ends. I can't remember how, exactly . . . but it all stops very abruptly . . . I see something shattering . . . then I wake up –
Oh, but there's so much more to it! I seem to miss the most important parts! Dancing . . . ball . . . Jareth . . . shattering . . . Dancing . . . ball . . . Jareth . . . shattering . . . there's got to be more! But I can't remember it . . .
OK. Let's try this: Logic is my friend, right? So, lets be logical. I'm at a ball. How? Why? Who knows! I've never even been to a ball – how can I possibly remember one so vividly? Ok, stop. I'm getting distracted, and that won't help at all. Try again.
If I'm at a formal ball and dancing, I can't just be dancing by myself, right? I've got to be dancing with someone . . . who though? Try Sara! Try to remember it! You've seen it . . . no, you've LIVED it at least 3 times! You've got to remember! Who was at the ball? There were a lot of people there, but no one looked familiar . . . no familiar faces . . . Faces? There were no faces! All of the faces were covered . . . all covered . . . MASKS! Yes, that's it! It was a masquerade ball! Logic does work!
Ok, back to my dancing partner. What can I remember? Try . . . Try harder . . . tall . . . no mask . . . NO MASK? If there wasn't a mask, I had to have seen his face, right? He led me around the dance floor; my feet were moving without me even thinking about them . . . what was I thinking about? I was spellbound by something . . . His eyes held my gaze . . . Now wait – he wasn't wearing a mask, I was looking into his eyes . . . how come I don't remember a face? I had to see it; I have a pretty good memory! Why don't I remember it? Stop. I'm going in circles, and circles aren't very logical. Let's move on.
Jareth. What's there to say? All I remember is seeing him somewhere near while I was dancing . . . His haughty gaze and overpowering eyes . . . That's really all that comes back to me . . . Moving on.
The shattering. What shattered? What can shatter? Glass, what else . . . Where did it come from? There was actually a lot of glass around . . . glass tables . . . glass chandeliers . . . glass jewelry . . . ornaments . . . everything was made of glass, come to think of it . . . even the floor . . . maybe even the walls . . .so, I guess everything just suddenly broke, shattered, burst . . .how can that be, though?
Once again. Everything around me shattered at the end. Why? What could possibly have caused it? Did some one break it? It's possible. Then who? There really aren't that many options . . . my partner, Jareth, or me. It's got to be one of us, because I'm sure everything didn't just break on it's own. So who could it have been? Which one of us? Another circle . . .
Now what do we get from everything I've just put down? Nothing. We don't get anything. Nothing comes of all this so-called logic but a heap of thoughts that are even more tangled up than before . . .