Sunday
04/18/86
How stupid I had been. How very naïve and ignorant. I thought I had grown up, learned to think logically and deduce the correct information. In reality, it turns out that all my "logical thinking" stopped me from seeing the obvious, from putting two and two together. I can't believe it. I wrote the answer down – and didn't even bother to read it until now.
It was all there, all on my paper. The answer I had searched so hard for was in front of me: Jareth. I had danced with Jareth at the masquerade ball. He was the one who led me around the dance floor, whose proud face was the only one I saw – the only one without a mask. His eyes held my gaze and caused me to forget and disregard everything else. How very simple. Why did it take me so long?
A lot of things still remain unclear. The shattering end, for example. I've narrowed the causes down to two, but it's impossible to decide, as I really have no memory of the end. The only thing I can kind of remember was a rush of emotion, like an awakening . . . then a sense of being . . . trapped? I 'm not too clear there . . . and then everything fell apart . . . yes, fell is the very word . . . fell . . . fell apart and fell down . . . the whole entire world I was in fell down with me . . .
And yet another thing that makes no sense to me: This memory is definitely from the Labyrinth, right? I mean – Jareth, weird things happening, dream-like quality, goblin masks, falling . . .That's all one world. But WHEN could that have possibly happened? I remember everything so perfectly – everything that took place is crystal clear in my memory – except for the ball. I can't place it at all . . . I'm positive it happened . . . I really couldn't have made it up . . .
Let's see . . . Toby is taken . . . I go into the Labyrinth . . . I start seeing all the openings . . . Helping hands . . . oubliette . . . Hoggle rescues me . . . Jareth . . . cleaners . . . Ludo . . . Fireys . . . Hoggle again . . . Bog of Eternal Stench . . . Sir Diddymus . . . Ludo's talent . . . strange peach . . . my room/junk pile . . . Goblin city . . . staircase Labyrinth . . . I'm home.
Now where does the ball fit in? There are only two parts that aren't exactly clear – first, when I bit into that peach, I was in a forest. I felt nauseous, dizzy, and I kind of fell down. I must have fallen through a trap door, because when I looked around, I was holding Lancelot and walking into my room (which later turned out to be just part of a huge junk pile)
The second part that's confusing was when I jumped to get Toby in the Staircase Labyrinth. I jumped, then I remember a swirling, a crumbling, and then I was home, a shadow swooping out of my window. Something happened between the jump and home, I'm sure something did, and I'm sure it was very very important, Jareth's power sort of broke, I guess . . . But it doesn't seem to be the right sort of time and place for a magical ball . . . no, the ball must have happened earlier . . . but when?
Where does it fit in? I'm sure I remember it happening . . . but excluding the two situations I just mentioned, there weren't any time lapses . . . This is something I have to think about for a while, and to myself . . . A lot of things have been clarified through my writing, but this is one of the exceptions, it seems. I'm glad I can remember this much. Hopefully I will relive it all tonight, and maybe it will all become clearer still.