.hack/Polarized/Borders
by
Chad 'Graeystone' Harger
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Author's Note: Just a little reminder; anything in italics is an event happening in the real world so please don't bug me about overkill of italics in this chapter when reviewing or e-mailing me. Thanks.
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My name is Chase the Twin Blade. My real name is Chad Watanabe. I travel the mystical realm simply known as The World. The World is just a video game. My companions are Eulei the Wavemaster and Vektris the Female Heavy Blade. My companions are Annrika, Piotr Volk, and Unknown. I travel the World searching for the Red Wizard who murdered my parents. The Deadly Flash virus killed them.
"You seem distracted," says Eulei. I look at the much older Wavemaster. "What are you thinking about?"
"I-Its nothing," I say. "The last battle against the dark wizard's minions wiped me out." I was Data Drained by Pluto. I blink as these strange thoughts come to me. "I think one of the dark wizard's minions hit me with some kind of spell."
"I don't sense anything," says Eulei.
"We shouldn't underestimate the Red Wizard," says Vektris.
"Maybe its exhaustion," I say. My mind is trapped in The World. I stop in my tracks. "Ok, that was freaky."
"What does freaky mean?" asks Vektris.
"I don't know," I say with frustration. "Its these strange thoughts."
"There is a village we'll reach in about a day. I know the apothecary there. She'll be able to help you," says Eulei. Now my ears are acting up. Eulei sounds like he is far away.
We continue on to find cover for the night. I can see the twin moons in the sky. There is only one moon. "There should only be one moon," I say.
"We better stop now," says Vektris. "I don't want my boyfriend to get sick." I have no feelings for her.
"Boyfriend!" I say out loud. "I'm not your boyfriend!"
Vektris looks at me with anger then concern. "I swear I'm going rip the Dark Wizard's tongue out."
This is not real. My eyes widen at the words because I know its true. "None of this is real. What's real?" I yell.
Vektris tries to take hold of my hand. Her hand passes through me like a ghost. I look at them and they become transparent. The World flickers around me. It's a computer glitch. I wonder what a computer is as Eulei and Vektris fade away. The World crumbles around me as strange yet familiar images replace The World. Déjà vu becomes familiar, familiar becomes memories and memories become the truth as everything returns to me.
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I float in nothingness and the first real thought that I have is; Why does this keep happening to me? How is it that my mind can be yanked into The World and then have it return? The first time it happened I thought it was Aura who rescued me. She has been Data Drained so it couldn't be her. Excitement rushes through me. Did the others manage to defeat Pluto? The problem there is if that is the case I would be fully awake by now.
Every time I tried to think about this I ended up being distracted. I need to look at the facts. People who are completely affected by Data Drain end up in a coma and the characters they used in The World are destroyed. Does this mean that the person's mind recreates the character within The World? As I've often heard in the past, people could be who they wanted to be in The World: a hero, villain, strong, beautiful, or whatever. While trapped in The World do they believe they are the person they created? It makes sense because of what happened to me. The strange thing is that except for a couple of changes everything was the same. It must have been the annoying part of my mind and that's why everything was more like an analogy instead of made up.
I think about the annoying part of my mind. Aura called me polarized. Is that what she was talking about? Does my inability to be affected by fiction have something to do with everything that's going on? Exactly what did Aura do to me? Did she kill of the creative and imaginative part of my mind? I don't believe so. I can immerse myself with fictional things like everyone else but it doesn't last very long. Is it something I'm not aware of like a barrier? Why don't I remember what happened? Is that I can't or won't? I wish I could remember.
The darkness becomes brighter and turns into a bright light as I think about the annoying part of my mind. The brightness fades away and when I can see clearly I am standing in a room that's all too familiar to me. Be careful what you wish for, you might just get it. I get the wish and I want to take it back for this is the room where my parents died.
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It hasn't happened yet. The memory starts out as my mother is trying to hook up her new computer. She was a system administrator and knew computers inside and out. My father was helping her. While he was a good math teacher he knew less than I do about computers. The young me is there also watching with curiosity as my mom finishes.
"I hope you're not this slow at work," my father says to mother.
"I would've been done ten minutes ago if someone didn't volunteer," my mother replies dryly.
My father grunts and says nothing. The young me laughed at father. "Oh, do you think you could better?" he asks.
"Yes," my younger self says.
"Typical men no matter the age," says mother.
My mother turns on the computer and put the OS CD in. I remember now how she always used Linux and nothing else. "You're not going to try ALTIMIT?" father asks.
"I'd rather use Windows," mother says. For her that's saying a lot. Aunt Miko used to tell me that my mom considered Windows to be the bottom scraping of a barrel.
"What's wrong with ALTIMIT?" father asks. "I tried it on a couple of computers at school and it worked fine."
"What's wrong are the people who programmed it. During that computer convention I attended a few months ago I had the displeasure of talking to some of ALTIMIT''s programmers," says Mother. "I know computer geeks tend to be looked at as outcasts but this group was in a league of their own."
"How so?" father asks with curiosity. I sometimes forget I got my strong sense of curiosity from him.
Mother hesitates before speaking. She can't find the right words to use. "They were religious and not in the traditional sense. They way they talked about computer code it was like they discovered the Holy Grail."
"Nothing wrong with that. I've been known to be obsessive with numbers at time," says father.
"You never gave anyone a dirty look if they disagreed with you," says mother. "We were looking at software code that was giving a developer trouble. One of the ALTIMIT programmers said there was something wrong with some of the variables. I looked at the code and came to the conclusion that the compiling went bad at some point. When I said that it wasn't just the programmer that gave me the dirty look, it was all of them."
"Who was right?" father asks.
"Neither of us. Someone misspelled one of the commands," mother says. She looks at me and sighs. "Chad, remember that sometimes the solution to a problem is can be the simplest of things."
"And never forget your mother tends to forget that piece of advice," laughs father. Mother lightly punches father in the arm.
I smile at the memory forgetting my troubles. I forgot how much laughter was in the house. Even my father who was always serious had a lighter side to him. The computer beeps and my good feeling becomes a very bad one.
Mother installs the drivers and connects to the Internet. She sets up her ISP account. "E-mail Miko to let her know we're back on line," says father.
"Sure thing," mother says. I want her to stop. I want to yell at them and tell them to get out of there. I want to smash the computer so it can never work again. Sadness and fear overwhelm me. I know what happens next and I don't want to see it happen.
"You have anything you want to tell her?" mother asks.
"The next time she's in the US ask her to try to visit us," answers father.
Mother starts typing the letter. "What the?" she says.
It begins.
"The screen flickered. Badly," says mother. "Don't tell me I got a vir-
Mother's last words as she slumps forward. Her body is blocking the monitor. Father is by her side. "Julie, Julie!" he says with concern. He pulls her back. The young me can't see her face yet. The worst part hasn't happened yet.
I guess father sees the flickering screen out of the corner of his eye. He turns his head and looks at the screen. I see his eyes widen with what can only be disbelief. He starts to collapse and now the worst of it happens. His arm falls on top of the monitor. He bumps into mother, which causes him to fall backwards. His hand catches the edge of the monitor and his weight pulls the monitor with him. Father and the monitor fall to the floor. On the way down the monitor hits mother's dead body and causes a sudden shift of weight that causes her to fall out of her chair. The monitor hits father's stomach and slides down to the floor. There was not enough force to damage the monitor. My mother is on her back, her lifeless eyes staring at the ceiling.
I feel sick having to watch this nightmare scene play out knowing its not over yet. The young me saw everything that happens. He walks over to their dead body. I want to cry as I hear him calling out to them. "Don't look, don't look," I say in the vain attempt of changing history.
My words have no affect. The younger me stumbles back in fear as looks at the faces of my parents. He trips over his own feet. He is disoriented and spins around. When is gets his bearings he is staring right at the monitor. His eyes go wide with the same expression as mother and father.
The memory stops. Everything appears to be frozen. I know this because the flashing on the screen is frozen. I am shrinking and am being pulled toward the younger me. My younger self becomes a giant as I near his head. I reach his head and am pulled into it. Apparently there is more for me to see and remember.
More memories but this time a lot more different. These are the memories people forget over time. The memories of a young child whose mind is filled with pretend and fantasy. I smile as I see the memories of pretend play and grand adventures. Of knowing that the purple dinosaur is real and the big yellow bird is my best friend, of wanting magical fairies who'll grant my every wish and take me to wonderful places. There is so much here, so much joy, so much childhood innocence.
Something happens to the innocence. A terrible force is pulling it all away. Now I know what these memories are. These are memories I used to hold dearly until Deadly Flash. I feel anger return as I hear something soft at first. A few seconds later it becomes louder and all too real and it scares me. The memories are caught up into some kind of whirlwind. "N-no!" yells my younger self.
I hear laughter echo throughout the memory. It's not what I expected. The laughter is dark, insane and all too familiar. "Oh, no," I say with shame. I should've known better but I let my anger and rage get in the way. All this time I believed it was Aura who was Deadly Flash. In reality it was Pluto.
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What a complete jerk I was toward Aura. But why did I believe she was Deadly Flash? The answer comes in the form of another familiar voice. "Brother, that is enough!" cries out Aura.
"Never, more, more, more! So wonderful, so much, I want all!" yells Pluto.
I look around to try to see them. Only their voices are evident of their presence. We were right earlier. Harald did make earlier attempts at creating an AI. At this point all they have are their voices.
"Brother, you mustn't hurt anyone else," pleads Aura whose voice seems strained. I think she's trying to resist an overflow of data.
"I won't!" yells Pluto. He starts to draw the knowledge and information away. From the fictional to the real, its all being yanked away from my younger self's mind. The younger me screams in fear.
"No!" the younger me yells.
"Mine!" growls Pluto.
Pluto starts to take away information that important to a person's survival. Pluto is not satisfied with just memories like I originally thought. He wants all the information that is within a person including the signals sent from the body to the brain. Pluto laughs as my younger self falls and gasps for air. I do remember the doctors telling Aunt Miko that when I was found my breathing and heart rate was very irregular for the condition I was in.
"I will not allow you to harm another person," says Aura.
"What you do?" asks Pluto with giddiness. There is something different about his behavior. He's getting off on this in some perverse way.
"What I am able to do," says Aura. The area brightens. "The darkness you have caused this child will be your last act."
Aura lives up to her namesake as the area becomes blinding. "I won't go back!" screams Pluto. His voice fades and he starts to plead. "Please sister, father. Don't make me return. I-I'll be good from now on. I can repair the damage." For once I feel pity toward Pluto. I look at the carnage he caused in my mind and the pity goes away.
The young me is sitting. He drew his knees up to his chin. He saw everything and it put him in shock. "Oh child. You should never have endured this," says Aura.
The young me whimpers in fear as he feels something brush through him. "What's is your name young one?" asks Aura. "I will not harm you," says Aura gently. "But to help you I need your name."
"Chad. . . Watanabe," the young me whispers.
"Chad, I am going to help you in a special way. What you went through has caused you great disorder and fear," says Aura. "In order to help you get through the impossible made possible I am going to do something special."
The young me can feel Aura's power as she creates a new memory in my young mind. It is a road split down the center. My other memories are caught up in a twister and they land on either side of the road. "Chad, I have separated your memories. Focus on what you know is to be true for now," says Aura. "When you are ready just cross the road and from there what was splintered can be made whole. What, yes father I understand. I must leave now. Goodbye and remember what I said."
"How sublime," I mutter at the truth of it all. In order to protect my mind from completely collapsing Aura separated the things that are real in my mind from the things that are fictional. She put the fictional things on one side and the real things on the other. The young me is on the side of the road with what is real.
I walk over to the young me and look at him. He's not even facing the other side of the road. Right now I've gone from feeling like a complete jerk to feeling like a complete ass. I blamed Aura for everything that went wrong with me when it was my own fault. All these years the young me was too scared to move. I was too scared to move. I reach down and touch my younger self. He fades away and so does a lot of my fear.
I begin to understand what Aura meant when she called me polarized. It like black and white or good and evil. In my case it's the differences between reality and fiction. My mind would automatically filter what is real from what is fictional. Because I was afraid to look to the other side of the road I would always reject the made up things.
I walk to the line in the road and for the first time I see what's on the other side of the road. There's not much to look at except for a familiar glow. Chase is there and he has the Bracelet. This great paradox that should not exist in the first place for fiction should never have such a direct affect on people.
I look down and see the line. It's no ordinary line because it has a greater meaning. It is a border that should never be tampered with no matter what. Aura told me I had to close the borders. When I heard about the coma victims I thought she meant some kind of border between The World and the real world. I have a feeling that the border she meant is the border between reality and fiction.
It was a gamble on Aura's part to choose me. She didn't know if I was still polarized or not. She did know that if I was still polarized I would be able to stand a chance. All this time I had a shield and didn't know it.
The time for me to act is now. My time to fight the monster that threatens two worlds is now. I have to stand up and fight like I'm supposed to. I will destroy Pluto and rescue Aura and Zelphie. I will talk to Aura and Zelphie and apologize. Most importantly I will finally be able to put my past behind me.
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When a person comes out of a coma they expect certain things. My eyes open what I expect to find was not what I got. Instead of being in a hospital I am in my bed. Instead of a relative sitting by my bed, Nuriko Hasakutsa is sitting by my side.
Nuriko goes to the same school as I do. She is also the first friend I made in Japan after I moved here to live with my aunt. "Nuriko?" I ask weakly. My voice cracks and I am thirsty.
Nuriko looks at me with surprise then happiness. "Chad, you're awake!" she says.
I try to sit up in bed. "Stay there. I have to get Miko," says Nuriko. "I have to get you water also." She gets up and runs out of the room. I lie back in bed and wait for them. Why is Nuriko here anyway? I guess Aunt Miko called her.
They come back in moments later. Aunt Miko is holding a glass of water. "Here, drink this slowly," she says.
I take the glass and drink it. My throat and body starts to feel better. "Not to sound ungrateful but shouldn't I be in a hospital?" I ask.
"I wasn't able to," says Aunt Miko. "Your body was functioning fine even thought you were knocked out."
"What about brain damage and stuff?" I ask while wondering why she would be so careless.
"I figured you were in a deep sleep," says Aunt Miko. "You moaned a lot and talked about being in The World. According to Helba, the other coma victims never talked while in their condition."
"So what happened?" I ask her.
"I'll explain later," says Aunt Miko. "Right now you need to drink and eat. It's been two days and your body needs food."
"I'll go make some sandwiches," says Nuriko. She leaves the room.
"Since we're alone now I have some questions," I say. "How long have you been playing The World?"
"Like Crim said, ever since Fragment but I retired a while back," says Aunt Miko. "When you started playing I decided to come back and join you on an adventure or two. Although I didn't expect any of this."
"Yeah, right, Aunt Miko. You wanted to keep an eye on me to make sure I kept my promise," I say dryly.
Aunt Miko sighs. "That obvious."
"Pretty much so," I reply. "Why did you call Nuriko?"
Aunt Miko laughs and says, "You still haven't figured it out yet. She told me when she came over to check on you."
"So she's Annrika," I say with amazement. I guess she had feelings for me way before this mess and played on them when we started playing The World together. I wonder why she never said anything about it. "Does she know about you?"
"She figured it out on her own. She saw me playing but the clincher was when she heard me speak in Unknown's voice," answers Aunt Miko.
"What about Orca? You didn't seem too happy to see him." I ask.
"Oh, him and Balmung. Long story behind that," mutters Aunt Miko. "Listen, there's something I have to tell you. Before I retired Unknown, I helped a girl about your age who went through something like this. It was another one of those people being trapped in The World things."
"Another coma victim. Why didn't you say anything beforehand?" I ask.
"It wasn't relevant until now," says Aunt Miko. When Nurkio returns with food, Aunt Miko talks about her last adventure before retiring.
After I eat I take a shower. I had high fevers and sweated a lot. I feel much better after cooling down. On the way to the living room I notice all the curtains are closed. I see Aunt Miko sitting in a chair.
"Aunt Miko, why are all the curtains closed?" I ask.
She gets out of her chair and walks to the door. "There's something you need to see."
Aunt Miko opens the door and I walk out. What I see causes me to step backwards and I bump into Aunt Miko. "I'm still dreaming," I say with denial.
"I wish we all were," replies Aunt Miko.
I've been experiencing old sayings and phrases lately. Another one is waking up to a nightmare. This nightmare is the ground and sky with big holes and filling those holes are images of The World.
To be continued . . .