Spoilers: Though Intruder
Rating: PG, mild curse words
Pairing: None, Gen
Words: 2,052
Summary: Elizabeth, Carson, Rodney and John take a road trip to Washington D.C.
A/N: For the gatehaven Intruder challenge. Thanks to kate98 for the wonderful beta.

"Are we there yet?" Rodney whined like a sulky little kid from the back seat of the SUV Elizabeth had procured for this trip.

John turned his head slightly to the right and glanced back at Rodney. "Are you kidding me? That's a bit of a cliché. Even for you Rodney."

Rodney ignored John and turned to Elizabeth, who was sitting in the front seat next to John. "Why are we on this insane road trip? I mean we work for the Air Force, they have planes, we even have our very own PILOT. Yet here we are driving across a bunch of big blocky states in the middle of the U.S. on the road trip from hell, listening to god knows what Mr. Big in the front seat there picked out."

Elizabeth turned and looked at Rodney. "Rodney, we are on this road trip because I thought it would be a good way for you, Carson, John, and I to team-build and experience Earth in our short time back here. Besides, we had to go to D.C. to see General O'Neill anyway; we're just taking the scenic route."

"Personally, I'm kinda enjoyin' the trip. It's been a while since I've ridden in an automobile, and once we go back it will be a while till I can again. This is rather relaxing. No wraith, no life sucking bugs, no Genii popping out to kill us… rather relaxing," Carson said from the back seat with his eyes closed.

Rodney turned and poked Carson in the arm. "Well, of course YOU'RE relaxed, you're sitting behind Mr. Crazy Driver. You can't see how fast he's going or all of the near misses he is taking with our lives. Elizabeth, tell me again WHY you are letting him drive?"

Elizabeth turned around as far as she could and gave Rodney a steady look. "Rodney, we've been over this. Carson doesn't has a valid driver's license and you refuse to drive. I do not want to drive this entire trip myself, so Major Sheppard and I have take turns driving. I'm sure if you decided you wanted to take a shift driving, Major Sheppard would show you the same amount of courtesy and politeness that you have shown him."

"Yes, yes, whatever." Rodney said as he waved his hands dismissively in the air in front of him. "Major Risktaker up there can drive, but why does he also get to pick the radio station?"

Elizabeth gave a big sigh and tried not to let her exasperation show. "Because, Rodney, we agreed that the radio would be passed around from person to person every two hours. It just happens to be Major Sheppard's two hours. In forty five minutes it will be Carson's turn and then in two hours and forty five minutes it will be your turn."

John glanced in the rearview mirro and gave Rodney his most innocent look, "Well, Rodney, if you like, I can turn off the radio and we can play another rousing game of Prime, Not Prime."

"No way," Rodney grumbled. "I think we've already established your skill at math. And I still say you said fifty-three thousand four hundred and three. I want a do-over. But seriously, of the 180 stations that this satellite radio thing Elizabeth got for us has, WHY are you forcing us to listen to this godawful 80's station? Are you even LISTENING to the words of this song? As far I can tell it's about lighting cigarettes, carrying monkey skulls and watching Miami Vice. And the refrain? 'Open the door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur?' It's no wonder that you Americans have issues when you listen to music like that."

John slapped his hands on the wheel. "Rodney, when it is your turn to control the radio, you can pick one of the other 180 stations, and I'm sure we'll all be thrilled with your choice," John said with and edge of sarcasm to in his voice. "Besides, a majority of 80s music came from British and European bands. Only a small portion of the music that was popular in the 1980s actually originated in the United States."

"Thank you, Professor Sheppard, and for your next lecture will we be discussing the great historical significance of the song 'I just, in parentheses, died in your arms tonight?'" Rodney harrumphed from the backseat.

"I didn't know you were a fan of The Cutting Crew, Rodney. Learn something new everyday." John gave a small smirk and glanced at Rodney in the rearview mirror.

"Why am I not surprised that you know the name of the artist who sang that song? AND I am not a fan! I was just trying to make a point and that was the first bad 80s song that came to mind. Carson and I were watching the TV last night and there was a SNL sketch about the song."

"I dunno, Rodney, seems like your going out of your way to explain that you don't like something . . ." John was about to say more but Elizabeth gave him her patented 'don't poke the angry bear' – or in this case – 'don't poke the snarky scientist' look, so he shut his mouth.

Rodney ignored the looks being exchanged in the front seat and continued his whining, "And why do I have to sit in the back seat? Why does Elizabeth get the front?"

That was enough for Elizabeth to start looking like she had reached her Rodney limit. She turned around and gave Rodney a hard look. "Rodney, I am your boss, that's why. End of discussion."

Rodney looked like he was about to respond to that statement when Carson interrupted him. "Not ta be a bother or anything, but Major Sheppard, if you see a rest stop or gas station, or something, I really do need to use the facilities."

Rodney whipped his head to the side to glare at Carson. "AGAIN? What, do you have a bladder the size of a peanut? We have been in this car for six hours and this is your fifth requested stop. At this rate we are just going to make it to D.C. in time to turn around and head back catch the Daedalus."

"Rodney!" Elizabeth chided, "It is not Carson's fault to he needs to keep stopping. Leave him alone"

"Yes, MOM." Rodney crossed his arms over his chest and assumed his default pouting position.

Out of the corner of his eye, John saw the look Elizabeth was giving Rodney and he was happy for once not to be on the receiving end of it.

John saw a McDonalds and turned into the parking lot. "Okay, kids! This rest stop will last ten minutes, NO longer. Do not make me come in there after you."

John stopped and parked the car and Carson and Rodney headed into the restaurant. Elizabeth and John got out and leaned against the car. John turned to Elizabeth. "Aren't you going to go inside?"

Elizabeth crossed her arms over he chest and looked up to the clouds. "No, I'd rather stay out here and enjoy the air." Elizabeth smiled and gave a soft laugh. "I was going to say 'fresh air' but really nothing can be considered fresh after the air on Atlantis. It's nice you know, being on Earth, just taking in the local atmosphere. Do you need to go in?"

"Nah, I need a break from Rodney. I think if I went inside he would find a way to complain about the way I went to the bathroom or something. So, now that they are gone, tell me, honestly, why are we driving?" John gave Elizabeth a questioning look.

"Honestly? I just thought it would be a nice break. We spent the last week cooped up in Cheyenne Mountain surrounded by people we didn't really know. I thought it would be nice for the four of us to spend some time together on Earth. And I think even through all of his snarking, Rodney is actually enjoying himself."

John gave Elizabeth a knowing look. "You know what? I think he is too. Besides, even if we were flying I think he would still be complaining."

Elizabeth and John leaned against the car in companionable silence until Rodney and Carson came out of the McDonalds with their arms loaded with bags of food.

"Good lord, McKay, did you buy out the entire restaurant?" John said as he smirked at Rodney.

Rodney gave John an indignant look. "No, I did not! And just for that not only do you not get the happy meal I bought you, I also get to keep the airplane toy."

"Rodney, be a good lad and give John his food." Carson handed Elizabeth a bag of food and snatched one of the other bags from Rodney and gave it to John.

"Hey!" Rodney pretended to look indignant. "I still get to keep the toy!"

Elizabeth grabbed Rodney's arm and dragged him around to the passenger side of the car. "Rodney! Get in the car."

Everyone got in the car and got settled. Elizabeth looked at the clock and then at John. "Well, I do believe it's just about time to turn the radio over to Carson for his two hours."

"Mphmph Great, more show tunes," Rodney snarked while shoving French fries into his mouth.

Carson gave Rodney a pointed look. "There is nothing wrong with show tunes, Rodney. In fact, I do believe I heard you humming along to Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat earlier."

"Was not," Rodney mumbled under his breath as he looked out the window. Rodney did a double take at something he saw on the side of the road and shouted, "STOP THE CAR!"

Elizabeth, startled by Rodney's sudden exclamation, jumped and gave a little squeak.

John reacted on instinct by cutting across two lanes of traffic and slamming on the brakes as he pulled to the side of the road. John reached for his thigh holster before he remembered he wasn't wearing it and looked at Rodney, ready to do battle with whatever evil Rodney had seen. "What? What's wrong Rodney? Are you okay?"

Rodney pointed out the window of the car and shouted the one word that put the other three occupants on immediate alert. "Wraith! Over there, you see?" John, Elizabeth, and Carson all turned and stared in the direction Rodney was pointing.

Elizabeth was the first to see what Rodney was pointing to and almost couldn't control her laughter. "Rodney take a second look, I think that's a scarecrow, not a Wraith."

Carson, who was laughing almost as hard as Elizabeth and John, smiled at Rodney. "Rodney, lad, remind me to check your eye sight when we get back to Cheyenne Mountain, that's not a Wraith, it's a scarecrow."

Rodney still looked a little frightened and rather chagrined as he gave the scarecrow a second look mumbled. "It looked so much like a Wraith from the other side of the road, but I guess it isn't."

Elizabeth gave Rodney a sympathetic smile. "It's okay, Rodney. I think we are all a little sensitive towards the Wraith, and I can see how that could look like a one from a distance.

After all the drama and laughter had died down, John put his sunglasses on, started the car, and pulled back onto the highway. He may needle Rodney about his over-reaction later, but given their experiences over the last year, and the fact they had all been through enough to make even the sanest person paranoid, he would just leave it for now. "Alright, folks, course laid in for Washington D.C. 20 hours to go. Doc, how about those show tunes? I'm in the mood for some Hello Dolly!"

John glanced around the car at the three people who had become his best friends over the last year. Carson was tuning the radio to the Broadway station, Elizabeth had leaned back against her seat and closed her eyes, and Rodney pulled out a Gameboy and started playing Super Mario Brothers. John smiled as he drove past another cornfield, humming along with the radio, and thinking that Elizabeth was a smart lady for planning this trip. This was just what they needed.