Disclaimer: I not own anything except a sword that I can't really lift to well, but that's okay because it's still very threatening.

I am Tony
I am thirty-ish

I am a City Man
I work at NCIS

There's an entry hallway that's very small
With a gray floor and sometimes there's ladies in it
The door doesn't revolve

I spend an awful lot of time downstairs
For instance, everyday I have to go down to the first floor
And see what's happening down there

Then I stop by the secretaries desk to see if there are any ladies

Then I go to the phones
And make several calls to see if anyone wants
To go out tonight

They all know who I am

If there are a lot of people trying to get in and out of the elevator
From out of town or something, I go in an lose my Skate Key
Just so I have to edge into the middle of it and maybe
Catch a glimpse up a skirt

I am a nuisance downstairs
Gibbs told me so
He is my boss
I always say "Morning, Boss"
And he always says "What, Tony?"

My co worker knows the president

I work in the bull pen
Of course I am apt to be anywhere at anytime
And if I want to go anywhere I simply take the van
For instance, if I happen to be in the bull pen I just
Grab the keys and head to the elevator
Ride to the second floor, then scurry up to the stairs to the third floor
Where I get in and say 'Fourth floor please'
Then I get out scurry over to the other elevator ride it and out get
In my car drive around the block a few times
Get my coffee then scurry back into the building
Ride to the first floor switch elevators
Ride to the second floor run to the fourth and
Go back to the third floor then to the bull pen

I work down the stairs, right past Kate
Sometimes I make a joke when I pass by
And then I run off to Abby's lab for a bit
Which is down this hallway that it very good
For scuffing your feet on
Sometimes I make a terrible racket

She has sliding doors
I always lean on them
That's how Abby knows it's me
TONY

Abby is the lab rat
She wears very short skirts
And you can see her legs
Sometimes Ducky is there
He's English and has 8,000,000
Stories to tell on any given day

Ducky says he would rawther I didn't
Eat, eat, eat all the time
Sometimes he says things three times
Like, Tony that scalpel is not a toy
It's not a toy! It's not a Toy!
He is my physician

I have my own desk
It is near Kate, McGee and Gibbs' desks

Kate has a dog that looks like a cat
His name is Tony
Sometimes she lets him eat out of my hat
Then I have to get it back some how

McGee has a girlfriend

Her name is 'Imaginary'
She's made-up

NCIS is the only place where people
Like us are allowed to work

I always know it's morning because Gibbs calls me and
Tells me to get my ass over to work

The absolutely first thing I have to do
Is brush my hair
Otherwise is gets all gross and frizzy
If I have a girl she wakes up and
Puts on my kimono and closes my window
So that she doesn't freeze
If I'm lucky she'll stretch naked
And will feel great afterwards
A lot of them yawn out loud
Then I make breakfast or
I go pick it up

Ooooooooo I absolutely hate tofu

Once Abby and I went out for dinner
And she ordered tofu surprise
I always order lasagna when I go out on dates
Women like itlaian men

Then I go work and look at the ceiling
For a while and think of a
Way to get a present
I usually yawn out loud several times

Here's what I like to do
Make things up

Here's what I can do
Catch bad guys

Chew gum

Write

Type

Annoy Kate

Stand on my head for the longest amount of time

Make faces

And here's the thing of it
Most of the time I'm trying to catch bad guys

My day is rather full

I have to go to a crime scene
And look in the mirror for a while

Then I have to go under cover
If there is a door open I have to
Walk in an pretend I belong
And sometimes I sort of limp to get
Attention from the opposite sex
Sometimes they give me their numbers

Then I have to roam the halls and
Spy on the directors
All they do is walk and talk
I have never been arrested

Sometimes I go to Abby's lab so I can get some sleep
Then I have to hop around for a while

I always talk to Ducky for a bit

Here's there he's been
Madrid

Here's where I've been
Boiler Room

Then I scamper to the directors floor where all
These people are prancing around

I am all over
Half the time I'd been lost if it weren't for GPS
But mostly, I am in Virginia
That's where I work
Sometimes there's an officers ball
All together, I have been to 56 affairs including a birthday party
Gibbs didn't like that

Getting bored is not allowed
Sometimes I annoy probie

Sometimes I annoy Kate

Sometimes I wear a rubber band

On the end of my nose

Here's what I like to do
Pretend

Sometimes Gibbs is kind

Sometimes women are naked

Sometimes I get terribly sick and have to give a urine sample

Every night when it's time to go to bed I yawn out loud
Then I have to brush my hair and get into my pajamas

Oh, there is absolutely so much to do
Tomorrow I think I'll go to Paraguay

"So what do you think Abby?" Tony sat down. Earlier Kate had told him to get in touch with his inner child.

"You aren't planning on showing this to her are you?" she asked pointing at the papers.

"I'll rewrite it."

"Good idea."

The End.