How Can I Forget?
Disclaimer: I am not Meg Cabot! I don't own any of these characters (except Morgan and whoever else I decide to make up)
Summary: If you love something, let it go. Suze loved him, and she let him go. If it was meant to be, Suze knows that something is missing from her life. Him. It will come back to you. She knew that she was supposed to meet someone. Will she spend her whole life waiting for him?
La fonda- yeah, sorry about that, I'm trying to keep some mystery in it... Sooner or later it'll explain itself.
Starrynightdreamer- Yes, ha ha, Paul has mushrooms where his brain is lol… Wow, I love your reviews! I recently allowed anonymous reviews so… Wow… that's weird… when does the 4th book come out for you? Yes, I love Jesse. Heart wrenching indeed. Lol. Lol… you're so funny… anyway, look forward to faster updates! I'll look forward to your reviews!
Melissa Trent- Thanks! I will keep writing for you lol!
Tangopeperroni- Thanks! Keep reading!
Suze Madison- You're right that does make me happy! Thanks so much!
JessesLatinaQuerida- Thanks! Although this chapter isn't quite that long.. lol
Bbblfl- Thank you so much! Hope you like this chapter!
Viking-rulz- Thanks! Yes, Paul is cocky… little does he know what he's getting into!
Lady Storm- Thanks for the review and the advice! I recently allowed anonymous reviewers!
Thanks to all of my reviewers! I love you guys so much!
Chapter Four: ""No! Don't you get it Jesse? She loves me! Me! She hardly even knows you! She thinks you've only known each other for two days!"
His face darkened. "I can tell her." He said. "I can tell her that you-"
"No you can't! Its called Vergeet Altijd. It's in The Book of The Dead. Read it Jesse, and then you'll see. There are no exceptions."
I smirked. I really was brilliant. I had covered all of my bases. Or so I had thought.
"I think Slater, that you should do your homework. Its in chapter Five. Her name is De engel van Vergeet. She is the exception."
Jesse pushed me off of him and walked confidently down the breezeway.
I glared after him, and the shifted home to my library. I pulled out The Book Of the Dead."
"Suze." I attempted to smile at the glowing man in front of me.
"Hey Dad."
"Suze why are you crying?"
Sniffle. "I'm not." Sniffle.
"Suze." He chided.
"Paul broke up with me."
"Oh." My Dad regarded me. "And you're sad because… Paul broke up with you?"
I looked up at him. Basically, my boyfriend who I loved had just dumped me for the bimbo Kelly (who I thought he hated) and my dad didn't even care?
"Yes! I-"
"Suze. Go talk to him."
"I can't Dad. It hurts too much. I mean he's going out with Kelly now-"
My Dad had a strange look on his face. "I wasn't talking about Paul." And then he disappeared. I blinked, and then felt tears well up in my eyes. I really didn't need this right now. I didn't need my Dad to be cryptic; I didn't need him to not care… I just wanted someone to hold me and tell me they cared. I hurt so much.
"Susannah? Are you okay?" I turned to see Jesse looking at me with a strange expression. I gave him a watery smile, not even caring that he had called me by my full name. It was kind of sweet.
"Oh, Querida don't cry." He said gently, using the 'kerida' word again. I had asked him what it meant yesterday when we were in Shadowland, and he had sidestepped the question, giving me a small smile that did not reach his eyes.
He enfolded me into his arms, and I began crying harder than before. I tightened my arms around him.
"What happened?" He asked.
"Paul." I felt him stiffen. "Broke up with me."
I had told him this yesterday. Jesse was silent for a second. When his voice came, it sounded different than it had before. "It's going to be alright Susannah." He pulled me closer to him. "He is not worth your tears.
"But he is." I argued. "I love him." I said quietly. Jesse went completely still. He pulled away from me and looked straight into my eyes. I felt paralyzed by his intense gaze.
"You…" Jesse blinked at me. "You love… him?"
I couldn't understand the look in his eyes. It was something I had never seen before. "Well…" I said, "Yeah…" Then I tightly shut my eyes against the pain of the sudden headache. I felt the tugging sensation and Jesse's face swirled way from me as an image of the rectory appeared. I saw myself throwing rocks at one of the windows for no apparent reason. Instead of freaking out because I was seeing myself do things, which was just a bit abnormal, I watched, knowing that this was part of the answer.
I saw a shimmer of light and then Jesse appeared, glowing. And that was just it, he was glowing. Jesse was a ghost.
"Susannah." He said softly to… well… me. He took the rocks from 'my' hand. "You don't have to bother with these. I knew you were here. I heard you calling."
I watched as Jesse stepped closer to 'me'.
"What is it Susannah?" He asked, and 'I' stared into his eyes.
'I' shrugged. "Just stopped by to say hi."
"At three in the morning?" Ghostly Jesse asked 'me'. "On a school night?" He seemed a bit amused, and I was more than curios. How had I met Jesse's ghost? Why was he a ghost? Why had I gone to him at three in the morning? Why was he living at the rectory?
"Father D. asked me to pick up some cat food." 'I' held up a bag. "I didn't want Sister Ernestine to see me smuggling it in. She's not supposed to know about Spike."
"Cat food." A very amused Jesse's ghost said to 'me'. I couldn't help agreeing with him. What kind of moron was I? "Is that all?" 'I' was silent. Jesse pulled 'me' towards him.
"You're cold querida." He said, and my head start to hurt again, badly. "You're shivering…" His voice faded away and when I opened my eyes I found myself in Jesse's arms.
Except he wasn't glowing. It wasn't nighttime, and it certainly wasn't a tender moment. Jesse looked like his world had fallen apart.
"Jesse…" I said quietly, my head hurting even more. I tried to control my conflicting memories. I knew what I had seen in the visions… but I could hardly remember what had happened in the seconds before the vision. What had I said to make him look so forlorn?
"I…" I looked up at his unglowing face. It's not possible that he was a ghost. I mean, am I crazy or what?
But the memory kept bugging me. "Jesse," I asked slowly. "Did you ever have a cat named… Spike?"
"Hello again Father." He said, appearing, with Morgan at his side, in the Father's office.
Dominic instantly straightened at the sight Morgan.
"Yes?" Dominic asked.
"We need to start now." He said, slowly smiling. "Which means you will need to come with us."
"Where?" Dominic asked. "I have a job to tend to. I cannot-" Suddenly they found themselves all in Shadowland, and Dominic sighed.
"I guess I don't have much of a choice." He looked around. "What are we doing here?"
Morgan concentrated for a second, and Jesse appeared beside her.
"Morgan?" He questioned. And then he noticed a surprised Dominic standing in the hallway.
"Oh, Padre." Jesse said, nodding.
"Hector?" Dominic asked, confused. "What are you-"
"Dominic," He said, "His name is not Hector."
"What?" Dominic asked again.
Morgan gave a faint smile. "His name is Jesse."
Dominic's eyes went completely blank for a moment and then he gasped. "Jesse…"
He smiled. "I knew you would remember. Come, we have much to discuss."
JESSE'S POV
"Spike." I said, looking at the group. "It was a trigger of some sort. She remembers Spike."
"Spike was a cat," He said to me, "And hardly the thing we need her to remember."
I looked down.
Morgan cleared her throat. "Its progress. What did you say to trigger the vision? What was happening?"
"Oh," I said, feeling a bit nervous. I hadn't exactly followed the rules. "Well… she um… she had been crying, you see."
The group nodded. I gulped. "So I uh… hugged her…" I looked up to see two pairs of disapproving eyes. The Padre's were completely focused on Morgan, which I found strange, but didn't question. I went on. "And then she uh… said that she loved… Slater." I stopped talking, feeling like I could die. Which I had done already, and let me tell you, it does not help with this kind of pain.
"Is that what triggered it?" Morgan asked conversationally in her English accent.
"I… guess…"
"What happened exactly before she went into the vision?" He asked.
"I looked into her eyes." I said, remembering their green, green color. "And I asked her if she loved him. She said-" I forced it out. "She said yes. And that's when it happened."
"Have you any idea what the vision was?" He asked me.
"No… just that it had Spike in it."
He nodded, and then looked to Morgan, who also nodded. "I think," she said, "that we need to advance quickly. We are running out of time."
"Time?" I asked. I hadn't been aware that we had a time limit.
Morgan nodded uneasily. "Jesse, that's one thing we forgot to mention… Susannah... she… if she doesn't remember soon, she'll never remember."
I stared at her. "How soon," I whispered, "is soon?"
"Jesse," She said quietly, "We only have a week."
PAUL'S POV
"Suze. Hey." I walked up to her locker. I felt dirty. Last night I had invited Kelly over and… things got kind of out of hand. I wanted to die… just wanted to hold Suze.
She looked at me. "Hello, Paul." Then she shut her locker with a surprising amount of force and looked at me.
"What do you want?"
"To… say hi?" I offered inadequately.
She gave me a dull look. "Hi." She said, turning around to leave.
"Wait Suze-" I grabbed her arm and she shook it off, looking at me from over her shoulder.
"I don't want to talk to you Paul." She said, and then walked down the hall, leaving me alone.
"Paul!" I heard the way-too-enthusiastic voice call to me. I sighed. Why can't she leave me alone?
I ran a hand through my hair. "Uh, hey Kellie."
"Heyy." She stretched out the word and winked at me. I detangled myself from her.
"I gotta go…"
"Don't tell me you're chasing after that." I assumed she was referring to Suze.
"Hey, okay, don't talk about Suze like that."
Kellie gave me a blank look. "Like what?" Then I noticed that the person who had said it was glowing.
"Oh, uh, never mind." I said, brushing past her and grabbing the ghost's arm on the way.
"Hey!" She protested as I dragged her down the hall. I led her around the corner and then pressed her against the wall.
"Alright, who are you, what do you want?" I didn't have any patience left today.
She seemed taken aback. "I want what you want." She said. Then she made a face. "Well, mostly. I don't want Suze to remember."
"Why?" I asked surprised. Was I receiving help? I sent a thank you out to God.
"Because I want Jesse." She said plainly.
I blanched. Sure gets a lot of action for a once-dead cowboy. "And what about Suze?"
"I don't care what happens to her." She said, shrugging.
I nodded. "Alright. I think we can strike a deal. "I want Suze, you want Jesse. Perfectly simple."
She smiled, and then shook my hand. "Its good doing business with you, Mr. Slater."
I smiled. "The same to you…"
"Cami." She said. "Short for Camryn."
"Cool. I'll see you later than."
"Yep." She dematerialized.