My matronly Whill advisors insisted exercise was very important for a woman in my condition. Yeah, easier said than done. Thanks to said condition all I could manage in the way of exercise was a waddling circumambulation of our little islet once or twice a day. One fine morning as I passed Yoda's house something hit me. Not physical, not exactly a pain, a feeling. A horrible feeling like a hole had been torn in the universe and all the life and hope was flowing out of it. I crumpled to my knees, clutching at my belly in a vain effort to protect my twins.

"Padme, all right are you? Your labor begun has?"

I looked up to see Yoda staring down at me in concern and some alarm. "No." I panted, the felt the wetness flowing down my legs. "I mean yes - but it wasn't labor pains, it was something else. Something terrible."

"Felt it too I did." he said bleakly. "A disturbance of the Force it was. Death, much death." then he shook himself. "Focus on the moment we must, on life. Raj!" he called, "Raj come, carry Padme to her house you must. Then Mistress Yadys fetch." That was the Whill midwife.

Raj put me down on my sleep platform and Yedda piled pillows under my head and back, propping me up. "The children!" I gasped, between contractions, "I want to see the children. A few minutes later they were there, my little lover Tam in the fore, all wide eyed and scared looking.

"Are you all right?" Tam asked timidly.

I smiled at him. "I'm fine. But the babies are coming which means we might not see each other again for a long time. I wanted to say good-bye.

Aiolian sniffled.

I hugged and kissed Tam, then our little Angel, then Uthr and the other two girls. "Mind Master Yoda, and take care of him. Remember he's not a young being any more. Always remember I love you, all of you."

Threepio collected the tearful children and took them away. The pains got stronger and closer together. I started to get frightened and tense up. 'Breath, little handmaiden,' a gentle voice whispered in my ear, 'breath and feel the Force flowing through you.'

"Yes, Master." I gasped, and tried to relax and feel the Force. There was nothing to be afraid of. It might feel as if my body was being torn apart but it was only changing, opening up to let my babies be born. Leia would be with me soon, I'd be able to hold her - and we could comfort each other for the loss of half our family.

Yedda and Yadys hovered over me, monitoring my conditions. Neither of them looked worried. Every so often Yadys would tell me how well I was doing - and I knew she was telling the truth. Everything was proceeding as it should. They'd warned me it would probably take a while.

Relax, breath, feel the Force. I could feel it, inside me, struggling to get out. I was giving birth to the Force. Had Shmi felt like this when she had Anakin? If only she were here to ask. If only Anakin were here! A swell of pain, not just physical, caught me up and carried me to a crest of piercing agony. I screamed aloud: "Anakin! Anakin!"

And then I heard a baby cry.

"The boy it is." said Yadys.

"Luke." I corrected. "His name is Luke. Luke Skywalker." Anakin's son. If only he were here - he'd have been so proud! I turned my head a little, enough to see Obi-Wan still and silent by the door, enfolded in his Jedi robe. "Take him." I ordered.

I averted my eyes but I could feel him moving forward to gather a tiny, warm bundle into his arms. I felt him hesitate, look at me. "Padme?"

"Take him!" I repeated, and sensed his turn towards the door. "May the Force be with you both." then the contractions started again. "Luke!" I cried after them, "Luke, I love you! Mother loves you!"

Obi-Wan was gone. Luke was gone. It was just Leia and me now - or would be soon.

Again the pain crested, but this time it was my daughter's name I called: "Leia! Leia!" and was answered by a thin, infant wail.

They put her on my heart, wet and slimy and red and wrinkled, and oh so, so beautiful. "Leia," I whispered. "Oh, Leia, I had to send your brother away. I'm so sorry, so sorry, but I had to. I had to. Your father has done terrible things and we all have to hide from him...Oh Leia, he would have loved you so! He told me he wanted a girl. A little girl just like her mother he said..." tears rolled down my face at the memory.

I was barely conscious of Yedda and Yadys busy down there below, swabbing and wrapping, my attention fixed entirely on my daughter. "Your father was such a good man, Leia, such a good man. I can't believe all that goodness could just disappear - not all. There must still be some left inside him - there must be!"

'I believe that too.' said my Master's soft voice.

The islet was very quiet without our fearsome fivesome. Obi-Wan and Yoda's houses stood empty. It was good we were leaving, it would have been unbearably lonely if we stayed - just the four of us.

The third day after the twin's birth I got into our boat, my daughter in my arms, and Raj poled us to the landing field where my skiff waited.

I walked up the boarding ramp without looking back, and on into the passenger cabin sitting down, out of long habit, in the chair of state facing the door. Yedda climbed up onto one of the padded benches flanking me. Threepio settled himself on the other. Nobody spoke.

The skiff vibrated faintly as the engines fired and I felt the familiar, slightly gone feeling in my stomach as we lifted off. It would be a long trip to Alderaan, halfway across the galaxy. But there were sanitary facilities on board, and food. We'd manage.

The ship sighed as it settled on its landing legs. I stood up, Leia in my arms, eyes fixed expectantly on the door. It opened. Raj stood there, flanked by Threepio and Artoo. "We're on one of the palace landing pads." he said. "They're expecting us."

"Us?" I asked.

A ghost of a grin passed over his face. "Well, they're expecting me - and a couple more fugitive Jedi."

Yedda helped me swath myself in a voluminous shawl, hiding most of my face and engulfing the baby in my arms. Leia was such a good baby, she hardly ever cried. Now she just blinked up at me with those great, dark blue eyes, and uttered an inquiring gurgle.

"We're here, honey," I told her, "Alderaan our new home." Or so I hoped.

Aldera is said to be one of the most beautiful cities in the galaxy, all sleek swooping lines and graceful spires echoing the snowcapped mountains that surround it. But the unrelieved white seemed austere and unwelcoming to eyes accustomed to the glowing golden stone and shimmering green domes of Naboo.

The interior of the palace was also cool and white. What color there was was soft and muted, as was the clothing of the courtiers. White and lavender seemed to be the favorite colors. There were no embroideries and no jewels. It all seemed very stark, elegant but stark and not at all in keeping with my idea of royal state.

We were shown to a small white room opening onto a curving sweep of balcony. Bail was sitting on one of the two chairs of state, his face set - almost grim. "Raj Palpatine," he said. "What brings you to Alderaan?"

I was surprised by the unwelcoming tone. It wasn't at all like my old friend and colleague who, according to Obi-Wan and Yoda, had done his best to help the few surviving Jedi. Off balance Raj looked uncertainly at me. I pushed back my shawl. "I did."

"Padme!" Bail sprang to his feet, white faced and staring. "Senator Amidala! But you're dead - you were killed by Jedi assassins!"

So that's why he'd looked at poor Raj like that. "Don't be silly, Bail." I said as lightly as I could. "As you can see I'm not dead - and Jedi don't deal in assassination."

His face reflected churning confusion and acute distress. "That's what I thought - but they killed the children, Padme, they killed the Temple children rather than see them sent back to their families."

"What!" I gasped, horrified. "Oh, Bail, how could you possibly believe such a lie? The Jedi rescued the children from the Emperor. I know, I saw some of them on Whillowan."

"But...but I saw security recordings of Jedi murdering infants." he stammered.

"Faked. Oh, Bail, surely you know how easy it is to fake such things?"

He sank back onto his throne, blank faced but with something like horror in his eyes. "Spirit of Reason, what have I done?"

My blood chilled a little. "I don't know. What did you do?"

He covered his face with his hand. "I helped Palpatine wipe out the remaining Jedi."

I clutched Leia closer and she gave a protesting cry. "Oh Bail!"

He lowered his hand to look almost pleadingly at me. "They were threatening civil war, Padme, they'd rallied two or three systems to their cause. They'd murdered a score of Senators - including you - and the children. Only - they hadn't."

I closed my eyes against my tears. "They were trying to save the Republic, Bail. I knew they meant to try, and I knew they'd fail. What happened?"

"There was a battle at the Condawn system." he answered brokenly. "I offered quarter, Padme, I swear I did. But the Emperor's cloned troops...they killed them all, even the prisoners. And we stood by and let it happen. I even thought maybe it was justified." he buried his face in his hands.

It was Raj who broke the ensuing silence. "You were deceived by lies, your highness, as we all were." he said quietly. "You did what you thought was right - no man can do more."

Bail raised his head to smile palely at him. "And what does a man do when he finds out he unmeaningly did wrong, Master Jedi?"

"Makes sure he doesn't do it again." Raj answered simply.

Slowly Bail nodded. "Yes. Yes, that much we can do." then he looked at me. "Why are you here, Padme?"

"I came for refuge." I answered, "and - and to give you and Breha a gift." I walked forward a pace at a time, my heart bleeding with every step, brought out Leia and showed her to him. "This is my daughter by Anakin Skywalker." I told him steadily. "The Emperor would kill her if he knew she existed. You told me you and Breha had considered adopting a daughter. I'm offering you mine."

He reached out a tentative hand, and Leia's little fist closed tightly around his finger. I could see by his face she'd caught him fast. His eyes lifted from my daughter to me. "Why us, Padme, and what about you?"

"Because I know you would love her," I said steadily, "and because you can give her the training and the status to take my place in the Senate someday to carry on the political fight against the Empire." I scraped up a smile. "As for me, I'll stay here if I may. I have nowhere else to go."

"Padme, we don't have to adopt Leia, we would see her educated for a political career without that." he suggested gently.

"No." I took a deep breath. "No, that won't work, Bail. She has to have a new name, a new family, otherwise the Emperor might find out who she really is."

Slowly he nodded. "If you're sure. I know Breha will welcome her."

Heart breaking I laid Leia in his arms. "I'm sure."