"Padme, did I tell you I mean to attend the welcome ceremonies for the off-world envoys this afternoon?" my princess asked coming into her bedroom where I sat curled in a bow window staring unseeingly at the silvery peaks reflected in the waters of lake Aldera.
"No, your highness, you did not." I answered, startled out of my gray study. The old princess almost never attended court functions - such as they were. As I uncurled from my seat Princess Moriah continued. "It is this afternoon isn't it?"
"Yes, your highness, in two hours."
"Good." she said, nodding to herself. "I knew I can't have missed it because I see myself there but I thought I might have gotten the day wrong." then she added apologetically. "I didn't mean to give you such short notice, Padme."
"That's quite all right your highness." I assured her opening the wardrobe door to select a gown. "Please sit down at the dressing table - I'll start on your make-up and hair in a minute."
When I delivered Leia to Bail and his queen I also handed them the problem of finding a place for me at their court - near but not too near the royal family. They solved it by having me join the Princess Moriah Organa's suite along with Raj and Yedda. Her highness was not quite what I had expected of a former Jedi master.
Princess Moriah was a very powerful seer, so powerful that past and future were as real to her as the present, and it was scarcely surprising that she sometimes lost herself in yesterdays or tomorrows. Her manner veered unpredictably from gently vague to alarmingly penetrating and most unnerving of all she would occasionally greet me with a mildly surprised; "Padme, are you still here?" as if someday I wouldn't be - which I found rather worrying.
Leaving aside the fact I had nowhere else to go I certainly wasn't going to leave my daughter - even if I was forced to keep a certain distance from her. Leia, now a precocious toddler, called both me and Breha 'Mama' and knew I was her birth mother which meant I had to be careful to see her only in private to avoid arousing dangerous curiousity. I also had to be careful not to undermine her relationship with the adopted parents who adored her. All in all it was no small strain but even the little I had of my daughter's company was much better than nothing.
I hadn't anticipated any difficulty in adjusting to Alderaanian palace life, wasn't I a trained royal and hadn't I spent my entire life in court circles? But I soon discovered the Alderaanian royal lifestyle wasn't anything at all like that of the Naboo. The austere and rather colorless aesthetic of the palace building was echoed by the low key life enjoyed - apparently - by the queen, her prince and her court.
Philosophical debates, artistic competitions of various sorts and expeditions to view scenic spots around the planet were the usual entertainments. Public ceremonies were few and conducted along the same austere lines. In short court life was appallingly dull and colorless by Naboo standards - and I, alas, am a Naboo. While I wasn't quite bored to tears the life did little to lighten the mild depression that had settled over me since my children's birth.
The Alderaanians had no body of carefully trained and dedicated royal attendants such as we had on Naboo. Instead the royal family used BeeDee droids for personal service and one or two 'aides', distinguished by noble birth or educational accomplishment or both for companionship and official duties. Some also had youthful 'pages of honor' confided to their care for training in philosophy and the arts. Officially I was Princess Moriah's 'aide' and Raj and Yedda her 'pages'.
In fact I functioned more like the handmaidens with which I was familiar. Looking after my absent minded princess gave me occupation, which I sorely needed. Moriah must have been heartbreakingly beautiful as a young woman and was still very lovely in her old age. It was a positive pleasure to dress and groom her as became her rank and she suffered my ministrations with Jedi-like patience.
My princess's formal gowns were all of unadorned white - the Organas' signet color - and her few pieces of jewelry were equally colorless silver and pearls, but fortunately an elegant simplicity suited her very well. I selected a soft silk gown with draped neckline and long sleeves gathered on a longitudinal rib from her wardrobe and a belt of linked silver plaques, matching bandeau and a rope of pearls from her jewel box. Then I started on her face.
I didn't have to do much, just some silver blue tint for the lids of her beautiful dark blue eyes and a little mascara for brows and lashes. Then a light pink paint for her pretty mouth and some shading to highlight her fine cheekbones. Once finished with her make-up I started on her hair, which was very long and a marvelous rippled silver in color. I pulled it smoothly back and twisted it into a bow knot at the back with the wide wings framing her face. Then the dress, then the jewelry.
One thing about Jedi training, it certainly teaches you how to hold still. The princess sat like a statue, every fold perfect, waiting with serene patience as I quickly prepared myself; changing my white dress for a soft lavender gray and twisting my hair up so it would fit beneath the lace bonnet that half hid my face.
Senator Amidala had been very well known, even on Alderaan it was possible I would be recognized. The court believed my reclusiveness and habit of hiding my face was due to disfiguring injuries received in the battle of Coruscant - which meant everybody was very sweet to me on those rare occasions that I did appear in public. The Alderaanians are good people - boring but good.
The great audience chamber was decorated with shimmering ropes of liquid silver in honor of 'Silver Flow' the big annual festival of Alderaan. Every spring millions of tiny, fish with reflective silver scales hatch in the quiet stretches of the rivers and canals of Alderaan and make their way en-mass downstream to the large lakes that dot the planet. These glimmerfish are so numerous that they turn the waterways to flowing silver during their migration - hence the name 'Silver Flow'. The Alderaanians celebrate this beautiful wonder of nature in their usual fashion; viewing parties, poetry readings and musicales. But it is also the occasion for balletic regattas on the lakes which are the closest thing to spectacle the planet has to offer. Silver Flow is important enough a holiday to be covered by the holo-net and representatives come from the Alderaanian seeded planets and other core and inner rim worlds to attend the festivities.
Queen Breha sat on her throne - a simple, low backed ivory chair - with Bail standing at her side and representatives of the various princely houses gathered around the dais. My princess found her place and I melted comfortably into the background along with the other aides and a few BeeDee droids.
The representatives from Alderaan's former and present colonies were welcomed first, then the envoys from inner rim worlds like Denon, Aleen, Chalacta and Thisspias. And after them the embassies from the leading core worlds; Aargau, Corellia and Ojom.
And finally: "Representing his most gracious majesty the Emperor, Lord Vader of Coruscant!"
I stared at the massive, faceless black armored form in horror as it stalked forward to bow to the queen. My mind gibbered in terror; he'd find me, find Leia! But a panicked heartbeat later sanity returned; why should he notice me, just one of the crowd of attendants well at the back of the hall? And he'd never see Leia at all - Bail and Breha would make sure of that!
"You are most welcome, Lord Vader." the queen was saying rather stiffly, no doubt his appearance had been a shock to her too.
"My Master desires me to express his thanks to your majesty and to his highness Prince Bail for Alderaan's support and aid in the building of the New Order." Anakin replied. But it wasn't his voice. It was deeper and more resonant and punctuated by the noisy respirations of a breather unit. Suddenly I realized the armor was in fact a life support suit. What had Obi-Wan done to my Anakin?
"His imperial majesty is ever gracious," Bail responded on behalf of his wife, "but we have done no more than our duty. The queen and people of Alderaan desire peace and security in the galaxy."
"As does the Emperor." Lord Vader agreed with another bow.
The formal welcome was followed by a reception. BeeDee units circulated with trays of glasses holding the sparkling wines of Alderaan and plates of silvered sweets shaped like glimmerfish. I worked my way through the eddying crowd determined to collect my princess and get us both out of here. I assumed Moriah couldn't want a confrontation with Anakin any more than I did - and I was wrong.
I spotted her slight, white clad form making straight for the massive blackness of Lord Vader and his little retinue of military aides. Before I could catch up with her she had reached him. "Hello, Anakin." she said looking straight up into that grotesque breather mask.
"Kensai Moriah." he said in that strange voice with a stiff half bow.
Hovering well in the background I felt sick. Obi-Wan had been right. This wasn't my Anakin. The man I'd married, the man who'd fathered my babies was dead and gone.
"You've changed a great deal since I last saw you." the princess continued calmly. "And not for the better I fear."
"You have no right to say that." He answered. "You do not know my reasons for what I have done, nor what I have accomplished!"
A shiver passed over my skin at a suddenly familiar note in that unfamiliar voice. A defensiveness I recognized instantly as Anakin's.
"That is true." Moriah conceded, then tilted her head sideways like a bird. "But is this truly what you want?"
"I want peace and order and justice in the galaxy!" he answered with a passion I also knew for Anakin's. Dear heavens, could he really believe the Empire was the way?
"And you have taken a path that seems to lead to that end." my princess was saying. "I understand. But remember, Anakin, choices can be changed and new paths chosen. It is still not too late."
"I do not understand you." he said stiffly. "I regret nothing. I would change nothing." And I knew he lied. And knew as clearly that Obi-Wan was wrong after all. Under that armor and the darkness layering his soul my Anakin still existed.
"Without remorse, without regret." the princess agreed mildly. "If you can say that truly then you have indeed done right. Good-bye, Anakin." and with that final shot she walked away. I went after her - but it was strangely hard to pull myself away from the ruin that was my beloved husband.
'I will always love you.' I'd told him. And unlike Anakin I'd spoken true. I still loved him - in spite of Darth Vader.