Author's Note: It's time for the obligatory song fic chapter! But at least it'snot a horrible one. (I think)
Chapter 50: My Immortal
"Shimatta," growled Loki under his breath. The few patrons of the Twilight Café that heard him turned their heads to stare at him. "Kutabare!" he snarled threateningly back at them. He hated that song, absolutely hated it. "Thor!" he yelled, "why in the nine worlds are you playing THAT song! Never mind the nine worlds, why in the seven hells are you playing that song!"
Narugami paled. "It's popular right now. I..." but he didn't finish. Loki had slammed the door shut as he stormed out.
«I hate that song. I hate those words. Curse them all!» He screamed within his head, his feet hitting the sidewalk so forcefully that he was cracking the newly poured concrete. Yet as much as he tried, he couldn't get the song... THAT song out of his head. And everywhere he seemed to go THAT blasted song had to be playing. It teased him... haunted him... drove him insane.
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all of my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Because your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone…
He found himself once again at the place he hated most... the place he loved the most... the place he always ended up returning to. He knelt down and rearranged the flowers that he had bought two days ago, removing the dried out ones before kissing the bouquet and placing it back where it had been lying. He looked up, once again reading the words etched into the marble headstone: Farbautisen Mayura. Tears spilled down his cheeks as the chorus to that blasted song rang through his heart and soul.
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me…
"Shimatta..." he whispered hoarsely, "shimatta..." He wished the song would stop. He wished the words didn't mean anything to him. He wished... he wished... "Mayu-chan..."
You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
But now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me…
"Shimatta!" Loki screamed, his voice cracking in strain. "Curse you... curse you all..." he whispered before breaking down into another batch of tears. He couldn't help it. He couldn't. As a god he had felt the pang of losing someone several times, but never, never had it felt like this.
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
And though you're still with me
I've been alone all along…
He hated that song, absolutely hated it. He couldn't get it out of his mind. It wouldn't leave him alone. During the day, at night, when he was awake, in his dreams... it didn't matter. THAT song, THAT heinous song haunted him. It haunted him... hunted him... He hated that song. He hated it because he understood the words. He understood what it meant to have a love that when gone would never heal. He knew what pain was. He knew that there truly were things that couldn't be erased with time.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me…
But the worst, the absolute worst was the title... My Immortal. He hated his immortality.
Behind him Loki heard the soft steps of another approach him. "Loki-sama..." He turned his head to see the Norn of the Present—Verdandi. "Yamino-san told me to get you. It's rather late you know. He was worried that you wouldn't eat your dinner." Loki turned back to Mayura's grave. "Please Loki-sama?" she pleaded.
Loki sighed. It had become a routine. Every night Yamino-kun would send another one of the gods down to the cemetery to bring him back home for dinner. He rose silently and turned to walk home with Verdandi.
"Loki-sama, please use this," Verdandi asked softly, handing him a handkerchief. Loki brought it up to his eyes while Verdandi watched with morbid fascination.
Loki handed her back the handkerchief. "Thank you Verdandi. I don't know what came over me."
"That's quite alright Loki-sama. I'm sorry I didn't tell you that she died earlier. I know she was important to you," she added sadly.
"No, it's fine Verdandi. You have a lot of other things to take care of besides noticing that some random mortal female had died," he responded blankly. "Yes she did mean something to me..." he continued. Verdandi looked at him with interest. "She was cute, in a best friend's much younger sister kind of cute, you know?"
Verdandi looked down at the ground in shame, but the deed had already been done. There was no point to feel guilty about it now. "Shall we return to Asgard Loki-sama?"
"Yes, let's," he replied. Loki looked back at the gravestone of the mystery obsessed girl with bubblegum pink hair one more time without the emotion he had felt moments before, returning to Asgard with Verdandi—his soul completely empty.
Author's Notes: If you understand the Japanese I'm sure you're old enough to read those bad words. If you don't understand the Japanese... umm... go look them up if you want. I'm not going to tell you what they mean. Let's just say Loki was speaking with "colorful metaphors" as according to Captain Kirk in the forth Star Trek movie.
No, this is not the end. There will be another chapter soon!