The Bodyguard
(Rated PG-13 for coarse language, sexual references and mature themes)
Summary: She was the successful, intelligent and influential Ministry official. He was the trust-funded, but un-employed, handsome playboy. But when Draco Malfoy is hired as Hermione Granger's bodyguard, it's amazing that two people so different (with the hatred of each other to prove it) could fit together so perfectly in the jigsaw puzzle of life.
Disclaimer: While I have no proper one, I'll give it a shot ... The characters Hermione Granger, Draco Malfoy and all other people, things, etc affiliated with the world of Harry Potter do not belong to me, but to J.K. Rowling. I am making no profits from this story. Any entertainment programs or movies mentioned do not belong to me. Do not sue me. I own nothing (except for Tammy Harding - she's mine).
Author's Note: Do pardon my Bridget Jones's Diary addiction. I recently received the DVD as a birthday present and I've watched the movie about sixty thousand times. As a result, I've gone to quoting the movie, thinking like Bridget and falling in absolute love with Colin Firth. So please overlook the fact that Bridget Jones is mentioned a lot in this chapter.
THE BODYGUARD
Chapter 5 – Love is Nothing
It had been an entire week since the arrival of the mysterious letter. It was, as far as Hermione was concerned, something that was worthy to be tucked into the back of mind, even though she knew better than that. People often said that ignorance was bliss. Those people had obviously never met Hermione Granger.
Work (if you could call it work) was still the same. It was purely amazing that Draco had managed to shoot out so many different sexually pumped comments. Of course, whenever he did it to Tammy, she laughed so flirtatiously and flipped her hair and exposed her neck and did all of those flirty things. Hermione certainly didn't care about any of these carrying-ons; anything to keep Draco away from her.
Harry knocked on her door.
"Hermies?" his voice called out.
"Come in," Hermione said, not looking up from her filing. Without Draco, things had become more productive and efficient in her office. She could do all her work in blissful silence, without Draco trying to look down her shirt for the sake of it.
"I have Giselle Peaken's file," Harry said, placing it onto her desk. Hermione smiled.
"Thanks, Harry." she said, before returning to her working state. Harry lingered around her desk, playing absent-mindedly with the little trinkets and paperweights on Hermione's desk. She looked up. "Is there anything wrong?"
"Maybe. Not quite sure." Harry shrugged, tracing the edges of a pyramid paperweight which her parents had sent her the year before on their trip to Egypt.
"Is this about the letter?" Hermione asked as she watched Harry move onto a quill that was flecked with black. Eventually, he sat down in the seat opposite Hermione.
"Yeah," Harry said somewhat glumly.
"Did you open it?" Hermione studied Harry closely.
"No." Harry sighed. "It just seems a bit ... odd." Hermione raised an eyebrow, not in an incredulous way, but more of an eager way.
"What do you mean?" she asked.
"Well ... why would somebody send letters addressed to us to somebody else? Why Mad-Eye Moody?" Harry pointed out. All of a sudden, Hermione felt incredibly stupid.
She was the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement in the Ministry of Magic and when she received a suspicious letter, she was just curious of what the letter held. She hadn't given much thought as to who sent it or why Mad-Eye delivered it. It was very un-Hermione-like. Spending so much time with that stupid bastard Draco was beginning to affect her brain.
Hermione leaned back in her chair and let out a big breath and uttered three words which she hadn't said together in a long time. "I don't know."
Harry's arched eyebrows disappeared into his hairline.
"Excuse me?" he asked, leaning forward. If he could have extended his ear, he would have. "What did you say, Miss Granger?"
"Quiet, you," Hermione said playfully, pointing a finger at him. Harry smirked, but it was wiped off of his face after a little bit.
"What do we do with it?" he asked, eyes wondering absent-mindedly around the room. He took off his glasses and started rubbing his eyes. "This is ridiculous! Hermione; we're in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement in the Ministry of Magic and we've got no idea on what we're going to do with an item that probably contains dark magic."
"Stripped," Hermione said, leaning back into her chair. Harry looked up, confused.
"What did you say?" Harry asked, obviously thinking that Hermione had meant something else.
"Moody stripped the letter for us." Hermione reminded a now very embarrassed looking Harry.
"Oh, yes. Stripped the letter, yes," Harry mumbled. He cleared his throat awkwardly and then stood up. "Well. I've got work to do."
"And you better go and do it; otherwise you won't have a job tomorrow." Hermione smiled. Even though Harry was at the ripe old age of 23, he could still transform into that pubescent teenage boy that he was back at school.
Hermione gave Harry a light shove and Harry flashed her a quick smile before walking out of her office. Returning back to the squishy comfort of her chair, Hermione started sorting through the ever growing pile of papers on her desk.
'I have to stop thinking about this stupid letter.' Hermione thought to herself as she filled out some details on Giselle Peaken's file.
'Don't worry, dear, it's natural to think about it.' A soothing voice said inside her head.
'No it's not.' The other voice chimed in. Hermione grunted slightly. 'Don't grunt at me!'
'Stop being so stupid! Hermione's just curious.' The first voice defended.
'Curiosity killed the cat.' The second voice bit back.
'And satisfaction brought it back.' The first voice replied, with smugness in its tone.
'Shut up.' Hermione thought. The two voices stopped conversing and fell silent.
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It was lunch time yet again, and Hermione rubbed her eyes after doing so much filing and other chores. It seemed that Brian Poulty's file took longer than one would have anticipated.
Looking out the window, Hermione sighed. It was days like these that she wished that she was one of those people outside, enjoying herself. Being cooped up in the office wasn't really fun, especially when you could be outside sitting at a table under an umbrella eating lunch with girlfriends whilst people buzzed about. Or she could at least walk around with Harry or somebody as she slowly devoured an ice-cream and emitted mindless chit-chat.
But after that previous experience at the Sparks Will Fly restaurant in Diagon Alley ended up being rather disastrous and resulted in a fainted Draco, a mysterious letter and the return of Mad-Eye Moody, Hermione decided that it would be better to eat in for a little while. At least then, she would have less chance of somebody filing a law suit against her.
There was a knock on the door and Kiki the lunch girl entered.
"Good morning, Miss Granger. How may I help you today?" Kiki asked in her posh English accent.
"How many times do I have to ask, Kiki?" Hermione smiled warmly. "Just call me Hermione."
"I don't wish to start these kinds of informalities." Kiki said simply. "You are my boss, and it would be unprofessional of me to treat you as otherwise."
"Oh, alright then, Kiki," Hermione sighed.
"Now, what would you like for today's lunch?" Kiki got out her notepad.
"I'll have a cheese and ham sandwich today, please; with a gourmet iced coffee, thanks." Hermione said pleasantly. She didn't usually order the gourmet iced coffee (it contained some 3000 calories per mouthful), but she was stressed and what she needed was some stress relief. And besides, Hermione could afford it. She had a naturally fast metabolism, and so she could binge on chocolate and tarts and all of those other fattening things more than Bridget Jones herself and keep her nice figure.
"I'll be right back, Miss Granger." Kiki exited Hermione's office and Hermione stretched. She deserved a break after all that filing and hard work.
A few minutes later, Kiki returned with the sandwich and the coffee. She seemed to be flushed.
"Are you OK, Kiki?" Hermione asked, removing herself from her squishy chair.
"Erm … I think so." Kiki blushed as she handed Hermione her sandwich and coffee.
"What happened?" Hermione said, setting the food down onto the table.
"Do forgive me, Miss Granger, but I'm afraid that I have to be casual to explain to you properly." Kiki said.
"Go for it." Hermione grinned.
"Some guy just hit on me!" Immediately, Kiki's voice changed to that of a bubbly English 20-something woman. Hermione started smirking.
"Who was it; out of curiosity?" Hermione asked.
"He was so hot." Kiki said. "He's really tall –"
"Ooh …" Hermione giggled.
"—Fantastic bone structure," Kiki continued.
"Nice!" Hermione added.
"—A gorgeous body," Kiki said.
"Really?"
"And he had to most brilliant blonde hair." Kiki concluded. Hermione's interest instantly wavered.
"Stormy grey eyes?" Hermione asked in a somewhat bored voice.
"Like a pensieve." Kiki sighed.
"Kiki!" A voice called out before Hermione could reply. Kiki shook her head, as if to clear it up and then stood up abruptly.
"Oh, dear," Kiki said, looking worried. "I must have overlooked Mr Larson in the lunch orders. I have to go."
"See you tomorrow, then," Hermione said. Kiki smiled and then left Hermione's office.
Just as Kiki left, Draco swaggered into Hermione's office like another form of Daniel Cleaver.
"Ooh; lunch!" Draco exclaimed as he swiped Hermione's sandwich.
"Oi!" Hermione said grumpily, trying unsuccessfully to retrieve her food. "That's mine!"
"Finders keepers," Draco shrugged as he took a bite out of the sandwich.
"Fine, you ass. But if you wanted a sandwich, you could have just ordered one from Kiki." Hermione lowered her voice. "Or maybe you could have hit on her shamelessly like before."
"Excuse me?" Draco asked, ham collaborating with the cheese in his mouth.
"Why did you go and hit on Kiki like that?" Hermione asked, rounding on Draco.
"I might be a sex god, Granger, but really – even I'm not that shameful." Draco replied before attempting to take a sip of Hermione's iced coffee (she had luckily grabbed it just in time).
"Shameful in what context? In the sense that it's shameful to hit on Kiki? Or it's shameful to lead poor Kiki on like that?" Hermione asked, setting the coffee onto a spot on the table behind her. Draco stopped chewing.
"Listen, Granger. Who said that it was shameful to hit on this Kiki character in the first place?"
"It is if you don't even know her name properly." Hermione crossed her arms.
"And two," Draco continued, clearly ignoring Hermione, mainly because she was right, "who said that I was leading Kiki on in the first place?"
"Nobody!" Hermione's voice rose. "It's just a matter of morals – why would you try and pick Kiki up when you're clearing too busy sleazing on Tammy?"
"I do not sleaze." Draco said seriously. Hermione scoffed. "It's not my fault that women love me."
"Oh, please!" Hermione rolled her eyes. "'I don't sleaze'? Seriously, Malfoy, get a grip of yourself!"
"I'm a sex god. Not a sleaze."
"Not egotistical either, it seems." Hermione remarked sarcastically.
"Of course not," Draco said, running his hand through his silky blonde hair. He raised an eyebrow. "But if you ever do want to find out if I'm really a sleaze or a sex god … you could always just ask. No need to use Kiki and Tammy as pawns in your twisted game of chess."
"Well there's no need to use sex talk as a twisted way to cover up the truth about your sex life."
"And what would that be?" Draco asked Hermione, with a half snarl on his face as well as being intrigued. Even though snarls weren't usually attractive, Draco managed to pull it off and looked rather appealing for any other girl. But Hermione wasn't the least bit interested.
"That you're just all talk." Hermione said. She even knew that she was utterly wrong, but it was the best thing that she could come up with on the spot like that. Draco at first looked a bit incredulous, but his handsome face twisted into a smirk.
"At least I have love life, Granger. Unlike yours which is perpetually non-existent." Draco said, a triumphant look stamping out the smirk.
The comment struck a raw nerve with Hermione. It was no joke that Hermione only had two boyfriends in her entire high school life, and one of them disappeared without so much as a notice. And whilst Draco probably spent his spare time shagging anything that could walk and was under 20, Hermione was doing extra credit work and shoving her boyfriends out of the picture in that time.
The girls had ridiculed Hermione for her so called 'virgin status', saying that Hermione probably thought that not doing the deed was considered some form of good luck charm, and that's why she received such good marks. Hermione had often privately thought to herself that was why practically all the girls at school were as brain dead as planks of wood.
"Excuse me, but my love life is none of your business." Hermione said. It was a weak defense, but it was better than staying silent and looking like she had just been slapped. But in a way, she already had been.
"It's not yours, either." Draco pressed on, obviously pleased with himself in finding probably the only weak spot the intellectually mighty Hermione Granger had.
"I do believe that it is." Hermione said firmly.
"What I don't get is how it's your business, when there actually isn't any business to mind." Draco said nastily. He scoffed and looked at his surroundings in a somewhat subtle manner. "You know, aside from Krum and little carrot head, I bet that you didn't have any other serious relationships, aside from your family." Hermione blinked and became silent. Draco knew that he was winning their argument. And dammit, he was enjoying it.
"What did you do for extra credit romance?" Draco mocked. He put on a high, mimicking voice. "Oh, Harry, can I lick your shoes for you? Or any other part for that matter?" Hermione's eye started twitching.
"Oh, Harry, I have no love life so I'll just come to you." Draco continued. "I know that you've finally agreed to do it with me, Harry, but a new exam has just come up and I need to study. God you were pathetic, Granger."
Hermione felt herself going red from embarrassment, but also from anger. Even though Draco was mocking her, she couldn't think of a single comeback line. A part of her wanted to start crying and start drinking like a fish like a poor little spinster living alone in London – but then she reminded herself that she was only still in her twenties and that spinsterhood wasn't quite achievable yet. Another part of her wanted to pounce onto Draco and kill him in the most painful and slow way possible. The third part of her wanted Harry to come in and kill Draco for her. The last part wanted Ron. Not to do anything; just to come back.
"Actually, no, I was wrong." Draco said. "You weren't pathetic, Granger. Well, you were pathetic, but you're still pathetic now. No love life; just a major commitment to work."
Finally, Hermione found her voice. "At least I had meaningful relationships. You just sleep around like some playboy who can't be bothered to do anything else. Just because your father was too busy shagging other women aside from your mother and ending up in prison. Just because your mother was too busy buying expensive gowns and presents for herself to like you."
"Meaningful relationships? Meaningful relationships?" Draco snorted. "Ha! The last person that you were with left England and the face of the Earth for all we know, Granger! You call that a meaningful relationship?"
"At least I've had a decent relationship! You don't even get a decent relationship from your parents, let alone anybody else." Hermione yelled back. "You go around and screw as much women you want because you just want to be loved. At least I know what love is."
Draco's face stiffened. He didn't want to discuss this anymore. He didn't want to discuss it ever again. Of course, Hermione probably dug out a truth that Draco didn't even know about. Truthfully, he only slept around so much because he liked it and because then girls everywhere would throw themselves at him. He probably did subconsciously want to find somebody to really see something more in him than a one night stand, but he was Draco Malfoy. If there was one thing that his father had taught him, it was that a Malfoy never showed weakness. They never did and they should never do so in the future.
"Love?" Draco asked. He started for Hermione and she started backing away. "Don't get mushy on me, Granger. I don't need a lecture about talking about my 'feelings' and my 'emotions'. Love symbolises weakness! Love is just a sidetrack on the way to power! It's there to distract people from becoming rich and influential and everything else that puts them into places above the common idiots in society. Love is nothing." By now, Hermione had been backed away so much that she was now against the wall.
Draco's stormy grey eyes looked like they were filled with lightning. He was clearly angry and stirred up and he obviously didn't want to discuss the topic anymore. He bashed the wall hard with his fist and then walked silently out of Hermione's office.
The door slammed shut and Hermione let out a sigh. She looked up at ceiling and just blinked at it until her lunch break was over.
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After Hermione had locked up her office that night, she spotted Draco sitting down in a chair, arms crossed and looking at his watch. He had avoided her for the rest of the day after the fight, spending as much time with Tammy as possible. At present, he didn't even want to see her after what she had said. He knew that she had only said it because she couldn't think of anything else to embarrass herself with; but he still wanted to kill her. Then he reminded himself that he couldn't; mainly because that she was his boss and if he killed her then he wouldn't get paid … not that Malfoys needed anymore money in the first place.
'What's wrong with you, Draco?' he thought to himself as he watched the minute hand tick past twelve. 'By remaining silent, you're telling her that you're weak and vulnerable. And you're a Malfoy! Malfoys are never weak and vulnerable. You're going to bring more shame on the family if you just sit here like Potter. Stupid Potter,'
"Are you done yet?" Draco drawled lazily, tearing his eyes away from the riveting movements of his watch.
'You stupid cow,' He thought as he stood up.
"Almost," Hermione replied, trying to keep her answers as brief as possible.
'Shut up, I don't see you helping me.' She thought.
"Then hurry up." Draco said.
'I'm hungry and I don't want to spend anymore time staring at your stupid bushy head.'
"Just because you're pissed off at me because I've uncovered some form of 'truth' of you, it doesn't mean that you can—" Hermione whirled around as soon as she had checked up on Harry's office.
'You ass hole!'
There had been a crack and Draco had Apparated; probably back to Hermione's house. Hermione groaned and then took one final sweeping look of her office before Apparating back home.
'Stupid Draco,' Hermione thought as she arrived home.
Draco had left a huge mess on the dining table; mostly wrappers, odd bits of food and unwashed dishes. It was actually quite amazing that he had managed such a sterling effort when he had just arrived seconds before Hermione did.
Draco himself was sitting down at the other side of the messy table, eating, as he read The Daily Prophet. He had raided Hermione's fridge once more and was spearing bits of chicken and salad with his fork. Next to him was a tall glass of pumpkin juice.
'Ahh, Queen of the Virgins returns.' He thought as he turned to the next page of the newspaper.
"What did you do?" Hermione practically shrieked at Draco, looking at the mess which he had made.
"Made myself dinner, you Flobberworm," Draco replied calmly. Chew, chew; swallow.
"Don't you dare call me names in my own house," Hermione said, surveying Draco's mess with great disdain.
"It's actually more of an apartment," Draco said. Chew, chew; swallow.
"It's still the place where I live!" Hermione objected, pulling out her wand and aiming it at the mess.
"A cave," Draco remarked. Chew, chew; swallow.
"Oh, shut up!" Hermione said angrily as the mess disappeared.
"There's no need for that tone." Draco smirked. Swallow, gulp; swallow.
"Yes there is." Hermione lowered her voice. If there was one thing that she had learnt, it was that settling a dispute should be done calmly and quietly.
"No there isn't." Draco retorted. Chew, chew; swallow.
"Just because you lost that argument this afternoon," Hermione blurted out. As soon as she had said it, she regretted it.
"I didn't lose it." Draco said; a muscle stiffening inside his mouth.
"Yes you did." Hermione continued.
'Mental note: must stop verbal diarrhoea.'
"You bashed my office wall. You lost."
"Since when did bashing a wall ever mean that you lost an argument?" Draco asked, abandoning his food.
"You lost control of your anger. You lost."
"Who ever said that I lost control of my anger?"
"I did."
"And who said that you were in charge?"
"Nobody; but I'm still a bigger authority."
"Sure you are, mudblood."
"What did you call me?"
"Get a hearing aid, mudblood."
"For goodness' sake, Malfoy, it's not the time to call people names."
"And who said that?"
A frustrated growl. "Just shut up!"
"Can't quite hack it, can you?"
"Bite me,"
"Gladly,"
"Arrgh!"
"Louder, Granger! Faster, faster!"
"What is your problem?"
"You,"
"How very mature,"
"I'm still more mature than you,"
"You're missing a cord up there if you think that,"
"At least I'm not missing all of them,"
"Fantastic comeback,"
"It was better than yours."
"You've got a serious attitude problem,"
"Nothing better to say?"
"I'm not going to spend all of my time arguing with you."
"Just most of it, then?"
"Can you please stop acting like you have a giant Blast-Ended Skrewt up your ass?"
"Would you like to check for me, then?"
"I'm going to bed."
"I'm coming too."
"Fuck off."
With that, Hermione got up and then walked the short distance to her bedroom wearily. She closed the door and then changed into her pyjamas.
Stupid Malfoy. He was the one that screwed up her work life. He was the one that had bashed the office wall. He was the one that was making it seem like she was in the wrong. He was the one that had trashed her house/apartment. He was the one that said that she had an attitude problem. She wished that he would go away.
The phone started ringing.
Hermione reached for it, but it stopped ringing.
"Hello?" she heard Draco's voice say.
'Oh for crying out loud!' Hermione mentally screamed. 'He insults me then he answers my phone?'
Hermione leaned over to the phone again and started listening in on the conversation.
"Draco?" the voice of Tammy could be heard.
"Why, hello, Tammy," Draco replied.
"Hi," Tammy sounded nervous. "Look, I might as well cut to the chase …"
"Go right ahead."
"Are you busy next Saturday?"
'Holy crap!' Hermione thought as she nearly dropped the phone. Tammy was asking Draco out! Tammy! Tamara Harding was asking out Draco Malfoy of all people! 'The world has gone crazy.'
"I don't appear to be," Draco replied. Hermione felt sick. She couldn't listen to any of this anymore.
Hanging up her phone, Hermione flopped back onto her bed and then turned off her light.
"So I'll see you Saturday?" Draco clarified. "OK, see you then."
Draco put down the phone and downed the rest of his pumpkin juice. He sat down on the couch and then smirked. He had just been offered another way to at least disrupt Hermione's scheduled and organised life. It wasn't as if he had to chase it or anything. It was like it had just barged in through the door, waiting to be used. The art of pissing off Hermione Granger was getting funner by the moment.
Not even thinking about washing the dishes, Draco changed into his pyjamas and then stretched before getting under his blanket. He turned off the lamp next to him after a slight struggle (there was never a need to use electricity in the Malfoy manor) and then slowly fell asleep, a smug look on his face.
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A/N: Huge apologies to all for the lateness of the chapter! The past month has been rather hectic and I've barely had time to get onto the computer. This chapter was created in the midst of very stubborn and long periods of writer's block, a crazy birthday party, a Maths topic which I was absolutely lost in, the reality of me flunking Science (I'm dead), making plastic bag dresses (no kidding), repeatedly watching Bridget Jones's Diary (still love Colin Firth), watching Bridget Jones 2: The Edge of Reason (still love Colin Firth) and 9 birthdays (mine included). And let's not forget that recently did something to uploading servers and stuff, so I couldn't upload for a few days. So thank you for bearing with me so much, faithful readers!
I did say that we find out if the letter was good or bad in this chapter, didn't I? Well … that just goes to show that we all must eat our words at some point in our lives. I'm so very sorry, but for plot reasons, I don't think I can just yet reveal the contents of the letter yet. But hey, at least you get a longer time to enjoy the Draco/Hermies tension.
Thank you to all my spectacular reviewers! Like I've said before (but I'll say it again), every single one of your reviews make writing this story a lot more enjoyable and gives me inspiration to keep on churning out chapters. I just want you all to know that there wouldn't be much chapters at all if you all didn't revew!
And, of course, inspirational people get rewarded. Mostly by food rewards. So come and claim your (either vegetarian or meatlovers) pizza if you're: insanemaniac, Keindra, Meg, T.O.D.818, foxer, IceCrystal, Fluffy-5678, Callie, EmeraldFlame, stargazerstarluver, jaminika, NitenGale, alien726 (who made a rather good point about the cousin thingy – I'll try and change that later. For that, you get another piece of pizza! Note to other reviewers: This does not give you the cue to start snooping around my chapters for anything that I've done wrong ;) ), Christi-Lynn, Choasdragon, Crash, SmilinStar and Mrs. Blaise Zabini.
Right, well, for the people who review this chapter, they shall receive … a slice of ice cream birthday cake (for obvious reasons, of course)! Mmm … ice cream …
As well as that, thank you to all the wonderful reviewers who wished me a happy birthday! I did indeed enjoy my birthday and I had a great time. I did, after all, get Bridget Jones's Diary and as a result got to stare at Colin Firth a lot.
ARGH! Must stop thinking about Colin Firth …
Please don't be angry at me if I don't put up another chapter soon! I have a feeling that December is going to be crazy too, so I will apologise in advance.
And lastly, if you want to me to email you on when the story is updated, please email me and tell me. You will get emails from me as soon as I update the story. :)
Your devoted fanfiction writer,
--Look at moiye, ploise!--
P.S. Psst … to all you fellow Bridget Jones's Diary lovers and to those who have the DVD, my favourite scene is scene 20.
P.P.S. I'm watching you, Sophie. P