Title: Heart Condition Chapter Five
Rating: Teen
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the West Wing characters etc. Just trying to play a little, so please don't sue!
Author's Note: Thanks for the feedback. I am a dabbler at fan fiction, so all the feedback helps. This is a short one. I know I promised last time that the Josh and Donna chat would be in this chapter, but the muse took me elsewhere and it didn't feel right to have both events in the same chapter.
Chapter Five
By the time Donna made her way to Josh's room, he had been given something to help him sleep and was in the twilight between wakefulness and sleepiness. She crept in quietly, trying not to disturb him. Just seeing the steady beat of his heart register on the monitor sent waves of relief through her.
Hearing the creak of the chair beside him, Josh's eyes fluttered open. After a moment, recognition and warmth flooded his face.
"Hey, it's Donnatella," he croaked. Donna smiled at the slightly doped up glaze to his brown eyes. She leaned over to drop a light kiss on his forehead, feeling emboldened by his altered state.
"I'm here. How are you feeling?"
"They're going to put a battery in my chest."
"No, they're not, silly." Donna laughed.
"Are too. Dr. Baldy told me so." Josh argued in true four year old style. What was it about any form of medication or alcohol that turned him into a preschooler?
"Clearly, somebody forgot to tell the nurses about your sensitive system. They gave you too much happy gas." Donna teased.
"Donnatella, I do NOT have a sensitive system! This is some sthrong shtuff zhey gave me." Josh slurred, his eyes hazier by the moment.
"If you say so. Why don't you just close your eyes and go to sleep? I'll be here when you wake up." Josh's eyes slid closed before she finished the sentence. Donna couldn't resist pulling his blankets up a bit and tucking him in.
With Josh resting peacefully, Donna was free at last to let the events of the day hit her. Had she really walked away from her job to be with him? How was it possible after months of steeling herself from his charm and her own feelings that she was back where she started so many months before? One thing she could no longer deny no matter how hard she tried was that she was in love with him. Her head told her she was being the world's biggest idiot, that Josh didn't posses the ability to love her the way she needed him to, but it didn't matter to her heart. Her heart told her over and over again that no matter what it took, she was going to make things work between them this time around.
Donna stared at Josh's features, trying to memorize the peacefulness of his face. It was unnerving to see him so still. Yet there was something so comforting about the lack of a furrow in his brow and the slackness of his jaw. Medicated or not, at least he would rest tonight, probably the first time he'd gotten a decent night's rest in months, maybe even since Rosslyn. She had no way of knowing for sure, but she suspected that the stress of the campaign had brought his nightmares back. It certainly hadn't been good for her sleep. Whether it was life on the road or the unending ache that she tried to pretend wasn't related to Josh, she found herself awakening regularly at three in the morning to flashes of explosions and SUVs overturning. Sometimes the dreams had her watching Josh get into the SUV and then seeing it explode, which almost always left her breathless and unable to sleep the rest of the night.
A loud knock at the door distracted Donna from her reverie. Her stomach filled with lead when she looked up and found Will glowering at her. Checking that Will's obnoxious knock hadn't disturbed Josh, she motioned for him to meet her in the hall. She stood with difficulty, her leg stiffening up as usual after several hours of sitting. Will stalked out into the hall and Donna followed him, pulling the door closed behind her.
"What the hell are you still doing here?" Will demanded with fire in his eyes.
"Well hello Will, how was your day?" Will rolled his eyes at her sarcasm.
"We're in the middle of a national campaign, Donna. I don't have time to be nice. What the hell are you still doing here? You have a job, you know? One that I gave you when almost no one else would with your lack of education and experience. What are you doing here? Do you know how bad this looks to the press, to the Vice President? What are you thinking?" Will raged on, hardly giving her a moment to interject an answer to any of his ranting.
"Are you finished yet? Some one who is very important to me could have died today. I'm sorry that causes the Russell campaign problems, but not everything is about politics, Will. I'm not here because the Santos campaign manager is sick, but because Josh is sick and he needs me." Donna fired back when Will paused to take a breath.
"Why are you so sure he still needs you?" Will shot back, striking her where he knew it would hurt most. Donna stood silent for a moment, tears that had threatened all day welling again in her azure eyes.
"I'm not. But I need to be here whether he thinks he needs me or not, so the end result is the same. I'm sorry it's causing you problems, but if I'm so unworthy of my job you shouldn't have any trouble finding some one to take my place." Will gaped at her, stunned at her last statement. He had fully expected to show up, threaten her job a little and she'd come running back to Russell headquarters. He'd never imagined she would quit over this. The very idea made him even more furious than before.
"Are you daring me to fire you, because let me tell you the last thing Bob Russell said to me as I left was that you no longer had a place in his campaign. I could talk him out of that, if I wanted, but not if this is your attitude." Will spat out.
"There's no need for you to fire me, Will. I quit. I hope Santos kicks your ass and that both you and Bob Russell find yourselves working to get elected to the city council of Nowhere Ville, USA. Although even Nowhere Ville deserves better in its public servants." With that, Donna spun on her heel and stalked back into Josh's room, letting the door slam ever so slightly behind her.
Donna stalked back into Josh's room, steam practically billowing from her ears. How dare Will have the audacity to come there and say those thing? True, she didn't give him much choice when she didn't return or even listen to the thirty some messages he'd left on her cell phone. What frustrated her the most was that once Will had an actual heart, a somewhat jaded heart at times, but a heart none the less. That Will would have understood that sometimes life came before career, before appearances. Somehow working to get Bob Russell elected president, which now that it wasn't her job to do she could admit was very frightening, Will had become a completely different man from the one she'd once known.
Part of what made her so furious with him was that he was saying the things her head had been telling her since she received Helen Santos' phone call. She didn't know for certain that Josh still needed her or even wanted her around. His doped up friendliness aside, she had no real assurances that there were any feelings for her left on Josh's side. She knew that once upon a time, before she'd been nearly blown to smithereens in Gaza, before she'd grown so frustrated with the lack of momentum in her career and personal life that she had to leave him, Josh had loved her. It had been there in his eyes when he picked her up for Bartlett's second inauguration, in his smile when she helped him straighten his tie and in his gentle hand on her back as they walked and talked through the halls of the White House. While there had been moments on the campaign trail that she thought she saw a flicker of his emotions in his eyes, he had kept himself steeled against her for the most part. They may have found it in themselves to bring the banter a time or two, but the underlying fire seemed to be gone, as if they were just trying to keep up appearances instead of admit to themselves that things had changed.
Yet looking at Josh's still slumbering form, her heart gave a little leap. She loved him, she'd never stopped loving him and no matter what happened next, Donna knew she would always love him.