The Off Track
By Aoi Umi
A/N: Yay! I have now seen episodes 1-6. :3 I got the second DVD for my birthday. Which is part of the reason I've been so busy lately. I've also been working on a lot of other stuff, including the summer homework assignments that I've been extremely lazy about until recently. Gomen! Don't worry; I have still been working on this fic. In fact, this chapter got so long that I decided to split it into two chapters in order to maintain some sort of length consistency. :o The next one should be up soon.
In case anyone is wondering exactly where Yuki and Shuichi are or where they're going... "It's a secret!" (I love that part at the beginning of ep. 3, haha.) Nah...actually, not really. Unless I think of a specific place that I want the characters to visit for some reason, I'm leaving their location intentionally vague. I don't know myself where they are exactly, because deciding that would be troublesome and pointless since it doesn't really matter. What matters is that Shuichi acts annoying, Yuki acts annoyed, and the two of them get to hug/kiss/touch/f--- each other every so often...right? Yup, that's this fic in a nutshell. XD
Chapter 4: "To Fish or to Buy Fish (and Other Assorted Edibles)"
Bird chirping and other forest noises abounded as a bright white ray of late-morning sunshine filtered through the clouds and the trees and fell into the backseat of a car, where what was left of it was cast upon the sleeping face of Shindou Shuichi. It must have penetrated through his closed eyes and intruded upon his dreams, for the young man's face twitched a little, and then groggily awakened.
Sort of. He groaned and closed his eyes again to hide from the intrusive waking world. He vaguely noticed the scent of Yuki and snuggled deeper into his chest. He felt very warm because of the makeshift blanket draped over him, which was really Yuki's shirt. And, of course, because Yuki himself was still holding him very close. Shuichi felt a deep contentment, like a sort of permanent ecstasy dulled over by sleepiness. Life didn't get any better than this.
He lay like that for a good twenty minutes, just breathing and snuggling as close as he could to his man. What did I ever do to deserve this?, he asked himself in a dreamlike state. This is almost better than last night. A little color came to his cheeks. Well, almost. Sigh...I love Yuki so much. He can be as mean as he wants to me as long as we still have moments like this.
His thoughts were disrupted, however, when his stomach spoke up demandingly. At first he couldn't be sure whether it was hunger or a dull stomach ache. The last thing he had eaten had been a puffy, packaged cream cake purchased from a vending machine about 16 hours ago. So naturally, it must have been a combination of both.
But anyway, food sounded really good right now to Shuichi. He exerted his sleep-softened muscles and tried to shift his position so that he could get up. However, he found this near impossible. As he opened his eyes, he realized that he was essentially sandwiched between the back of the seat and Yuki's body.
He relaxed, fell back into his former position, and blinked. Well, now what should I do? I don't wanna wake Yuki, and it feels really nice having his arms around me and everything, but...I want to eat! And I kind of need to go to the bathroom, too.
For several minutes, no plan of escape occurred to him. He was completely trapped. It seemed now that his only option would be to awaken Yuki and invoke his "why-the-hell-did-you-wake-me-up-it's-still-morning-and-you-kept-me-up-last-night-and-besides-I-am-on-vacation" wrath. Yuki was so much cuter and more pleasant when he was asleep. Shuichi wondered what the innermost Yuki was like, the one who personified that gentle sleeping face, who played safely in dreams that no one else could ever see.
But then he recalled the urgency of his situation and quickly forgot all about his sappy musings. He had an idea. Maybe if I get the car door open, he thought, I can slip out that way.
He cautiously withdrew an arm from beneath Yuki's and extended it behind his head to feel around for the door handle.
Oops. His elbow had clumsily hit Yuki in the face by mistake. Now he was in for it. He should have taken the safer route while he still could and at least woken Yuki up gently with a kiss or something.
Shuichi winced as he waited for something to happen. But after involuntarily recoiling a little, Yuki's face returned to normal and kept right on sleeping. Good. That had been a close one.
He located the door handle and fumbled in an attempt to grasp it upside-down. A couple of fingers hooked beneath it and he pulled. The clasp unclicked. Then he gave one big push concentrated in his hand and the door fell open about halfway. Good thing it wasn't locked. He released a tense breath he'd been holding in.
Now came the tricky part. Figuring out how to get out of Yuki's tight embrace without Yuki noticing. He decided that freeing his other arm would be a good place to start. With much difficulty and about a minute's worth of careful maneuvering, he managed to get it behind his head, where it now joined the first arm, which was still hanging strenuously in the air.
At this point he was so uncomfortable that he really considered saying "screw Yuki's comfort" and waking him rudely with a well-placed kick. But with one look into Yuki's sleeping face, of course he couldn't bring himself to do that. He was already halfway there, anyway. He could make it.
He grabbed ahold of the door frame and pulled, intending to slip his body out of Yuki's arms. And it worked...until enough of him was off the seat for gravity to catch ahold of and fling brutally to the ground. Stupid gravity. This came unexpectedly, and on his way down, one of his bare feet accidentally caught Yuki hard in the jaw.
He froze.
That had definitely done it.
Yuki blinked. "Wha—mmm—what the...hell?" As his vision came into focus, the first thing he saw was the first thing he was looking for – the source of this painful awakening. Which was Shuichi, resting on his butt and elbows, one leg still caught in the door, looking up at him.
Silence.
"Aah, aa, sorry, Yuki! I can explain! I'm so sorry!!" Shuichi was suddenly moving frantically, shouting his awkward apology. "I was trying so hard, I really was, not to wake you, and I..." He sniffled and looked up at Yuki through remorseful puppy eyes. "...I'm sorry," he repeated more quietly.
"You...idiot..." Yuki groaned as he sat up and rubbed the spot where Shuichi's foot had struck him. "I don't even know what happened, but...whatever."
"I could kiss the spot where I hurt you, I'm really sorry, I...um...You're not...mad?"
Yuki yawned. "Just be glad you were so good last night."
Shuichi wagged his puppy tail and jumped up and hugged Yuki.
"You might want to put some clothes on. Stupid."
Shuichi blushed as he realized that he was still in his white-and-pink rabbit tessellation boxers. Yuki was at least wearing some pants.
He climbed into the car and rummaged through the backseat until he found his own pants and pulled them on. Then he put on Yuki's shirt before Yuki had a chance to reach for it. It was a little big, but Shuichi decided it looked good on him. "I wanna wear it," he declared stubbornly when Yuki asked for it.
"Fine," said Yuki. "I'd rather wear something clean anyway," he mumbled as he went around back and popped open the trunk. He dug in his suitcase and searched for something more lightweight and comfortable.
"Yuki, what do we have to eat back there? I'm really hungry."
"Hm? Eat?"
"Yeah, I'm hungry."
"We don't have any food back here, idiot."
"What?" Shuichi was visibly upset. "Why not?"
"I don't know. You should plan for things like that. This is your vacation."
"But why did you drive into the campsite if we didn't have any food?"
Erk Shuichi had actually gotten him here. I don't know. I forgot. But what came out of his mouth was: "How was I supposed know we didn't have any food? With all that shit you were constantly eating yesterday, it sure looked like we had plenty."
That worked. Shuichi had run out of responses.
Or maybe he had just gracefully lost a petty argument, because instead, he now went into the solutions phase. Oh, lord help us. "I know! We can do the whole living off the land thing and catch our own fish for breakfast in that lake!"
Yuki stared. "I hope for the love of all things sane that you are joking." But there was nothing in Shuichi's eyes to indicate that this was so. All Yuki saw was that accursed, familiar burning determination to try something new. God damn it. "Besides, I don't know a damn thing about fishing. And neither do you. Stupid."
"Well, the guy on TV took this worm and impaled it on a hook, and it was really kind of gross, but cool, too. Then he lowered it into the water and waited a long time for a fish to bite it, which was really just 10 seconds on TV with a caption that said 'time lapse' or something, and some banjo music in the background."
"Yes, that is the general idea of fishing. Everyone knows that, you moron. Except for the time lapse part. In real life, you actually have to suffer for hours in a wet, boring, godforsaken boat that smells like shit, or on a rotting dock that smells like fish and shit. And no one plays the banjo." He paused. "Wait...You've watched fishing on television before?"
Shuichi nodded.
"Is wasting valuable time some sort of hobby of yours?...Wait, I don't need you to answer that. You're wasting a lot of it right now, in fact."
"It's not a waste. We need to eat, right?"
Yuki glared. Unbelievable. He tried to put this in simple terms that Shuichi would understand: "It would be faster, not to mention safer, cleaner, tastier, and more pleasant," – he tallied these impatiently on his fingers – "to find the nearest town and buy something to eat. Oh, and cheaper, when you factor in the medical bills we'd inevitably incur after you attempt handling fishhooks."
Shuichi scowled.
"And besides, I need to buy cigarettes. I forgot yesterday." Because I was too busy buying aspirin, because of you, stupidass.
"No, you don't. We can do that later. I want to go fishing. Please, Yuki...?"
"No."
"Pleeease?"
"Get in the car. Or stay here, I don't care. But you'll have to wait longer for me to bring back the food that way."
"Fine, I'll just go fishing myself."
Yuki wondered just what the fuck that guy's problem was. Would he really prefer to do things the hard way and achieve mediocre results (at best) than to do them the easy way and achieve perfectly great ones? Why?? Why would anyone want to do that? This was just another of the things about Shuichi that drove Yuki absolutely up the wall.
So why exactly hadn't he just dumped him and moved on a long time ago?
And, moreover, why exactly did he find himself standing here right now next to a sparkly lavender car near a smelly lake in the hot, uncomfortable midmorning American sun with the guy?
Completely unaware of Yuki's internal feelings of frustration, Shuichi rummaged in the trunk and found a summer hat that he had bought just for the occasion. He placed it on his head and stopped to admire it in the car window reflection. It was one of those soft, bucket-shaped hats with a flared trim. It hid his messy hair nicely. He hoped Yuki would like it. But then, Yuki was obviously not in a very good mood right now, and was most likely feeling highly anti-anything-having-to-do-with-fishing.
He grabbed a few more things out of the trunk. "Okay Yuki, I'm done. You can take the car now. I'm going to the bathroom and then I'm gonna go down to the lake and rent fishing stuff."
"You don't have any money. I'm always paying for everything, remember?"
"Oh, that's right..." Shuichi opened the front passenger door and found a ten-dollar bill in his bag. "Yuki, how much is ten dollars?"
"Hey! Where did you get that? Were you picking my wallet, after all the snacks and shit I bought you??"
"No! You gave it to me, remember? At McDonald's."
Oh. That's right. Yuki sighed. I ended up paying for that meal myself, too. "Well, give it back. You are not using that money on a box of dead worms."
"Fine, I'll buy live ones and kill 'em myself. You gave it to me, so I can do whatever I want with it. Ja!" Shuichi sauntered away like he knew exactly what he was doing, but he secretly, worriedly hoped that ten dollars would be enough.
Then came the fact that he still didn't know how he would get around the language barrier. What was the English word for "worms"? He doubted that such a useless word would have been taught in his English class, even if he had been paying attention.
Oh, well. Shuichi kept walking determinedly and didn't look back. I don't need Yuki.
Yuki simply stared after him, amazed at how serious Shuichi was about this. Why couldn't Shuichi be more...normal? He turned angrily and decided that it was not his problem. He yanked open the front door and cursed to himself when he hit his head on the top of the doorframe in the process of sitting down.
His hand reached automatically for the ignition, but all it touched was air. He realized that he didn't know where he'd left the key. What I really need is coffee. Damn. He shuffled some stuff around, looking under a soda bottle, on the floor, and in the seat with Shuichi's belongings.
He grew more and more frustrated. Where is that key? It's got to be around here somewhere.
What if he cuts himself with a hook?
Where IS that key?
...And then freaks out and falls in the water and gets trapped under the overturned boat?
WHERE is that key, dammit??
...And then tries to get out but goes about it entirely the wrong way and gets tangled in the fishing line and chokes himself to death before he gets the chance to drown?
WHERE IS THAT FUCKING KEY??!!
He stopped. Leaning back, he closed his eyes and breathed. You know that's ridiculous, Eiri. Ten dollars isn't enough for a boat. He probably won't make it past the fishing equipment rental booth anyway because he doesn't know English, and then he'll just sit there like a stubborn moron, waiting for the fish to bite the end of a freaking stick.
And then he'll get frustrated that it isn't working, and he'll wave the stick around and gouge his own eye out with it.
Yuki snapped opened his eyes and glared in the rearview at himself in disgust. Had he just thought what he thought he'd thought? Poking his eye out with a stick??
"Oh my god." He slammed the steering wheel in frustration. "I am NOT his fucking MOTHER!!"
He fell forward into the wheel and let his forehead land forcefully upon his tightly clenched fist. He's just so goddamn reckless and stupid and accident-prone. If he goes and kills himself...then what will be my excuse for being seen in a sparkly purple car? Yeah, that's it. That's all there is to it.
He breathed and decided that he would just go and check on Shuichi for a minute. He would give up his search for the key while he still had a legitimate excuse. He would ask Shuichi if he's seen the key, Shuichi would say no, and then he would return to the car and look some more until he found it. Then he would get the hell out of here and get some food and coffee and cigarettes to put some sense back into him. Christ.
He stopped at the shower house (well, went out of his way for it, since it was located way over in the middle of RV suburbia) to use the restroom and freshen himself up a little. Good thing, too. His hair looked almost as awful as Shuichi's had.
Speaking of Shuichi's hair...Shuichi had obviously been here already, as indicated by the cheap comb full of pink hair he had accidentally left on a sink top. Yuki shoved it in his own bag. Stupid and careless, that idiot, he thought sourly.
He left the men's room and thought about when the last time was he had taken a shower. He really should be doing that right now. He felt disgusting. But Shu—I mean, food is most important right now. I need to ask Shuichi where the key is so I can take that stupid car and go buy food.
He meandered down to the lake, taking his time. Although he never, ever, ever consciously proposed it himself, this was most likely because he really didn't want to see that Shuichi was perfectly fine – which he most certainly was – and then have to leave. It was still very possible for Shuichi to cut/injure/maim/choke/strangle/drown/poke himself after he left for town, after all. Very possible, and not at all unlikely.
A/N: Yay, I got in some focus on Shuichi near the beginning of this chapter! It seems like I'm mostly focusing on Yuki and how much Shuichi gets on his nerves. I should really try and be more even. --;;
Please Review! If you don't, I will find you and poke your eye out with a stick...! LOL