The Off Track

By Aoi Umi

A/N: Thank you for all the kind reviews, everyone! They really keep me going. Here's another long chapter for y'all. Don't forget to review ::brandishes stick threateningly like K-san with his gun::


Chapter 5: "Why Does Love Have to Hurt?"

When Eiri came within sight of the lake, he panicked a little, as Shuichi was nowhere to be found. Panicked internally, of course. And only a little.

Great, he's drowned himself already. ...I always thought he would float, though.

He grimaced after having these morbid thoughts, because even if they had been a joke, they hadn't made that satisfying of a joke, really.

But the lake was actually much larger than it appeared at a first glance. There were several inlets and alcoves that were hidden by treed peninsulas. This, of course, meant that Shuichi was obviously in another part of the lake. But whether he was alive or not was still yet to be determined.

Yuki spotted the fishing equipment rental stand. If anyone had seen Shuichi, it would be that old man working at it. He approached the stand casually.

"Good morning," greeted the old man. He was very short and decrepit, but had a friendly face. Which was almost too friendly and borderline creepy. "Can I help you, sir? Today we are having a special on flies and lures. Three for the price of two." And his accent sounded eerily familiar.

"Uh, no thanks," answered Yuki in English. "I'm actually looking for someone." He leaned over and spoke in a lower tone, as if he were nervous about being overheard. "Have you seen a Japanese guy with pink hair, looks about 20?" He almost added: "And rather idiotic?," but refrained.

The man beamed warmly. "Why, you must be Yuki-san!" he declared in Japanese.

Yuki was startled. He hadn't been aware that he had an American following consisting of creepy old men. "Um...yes?" He still used English. But of course...this old guy had spoken Japanese...he must be Japanese. Why hadn't he noticed before? Then he got a little angry. "What do you want...?"

"Shindou-kun has told me all about you. You are the one who has made him very happy in bringing him on a vacation to America. You are supposed to be off buying bread for the two of you now, yes?"

"Um...something like that." Yuki wrestled with a feeling of unease, but restrained the urge to get impatient. "Listen, have you seen him?"

The old man pointed to the lake. "He is out on the water now," he stated. "Catching big fish with my bait, no doubt."

"On the lake," Yuki repeated. "What, in a boat or something?"

The man nodded. "Such a nice young man, he is. So polite and friendly. For free I let him borrow an unused boat."

"And he's out there alone in a boat with a fishing rod and hooks and whatnot?"

"Yes, he says he knows about fishing."

"He's a goddamn liar, then," Yuki muttered to himself as he strode away to find Shuichi. Then he turned back rigidly when he realized that he didn't know where to look. "Um...excuse me, but could you be more specific?" he asked the man.

"I'm sorry, Yuki-san; that is all he said about the fishing."

Yuki was quickly losing his will to restrain his impatience. "I meant, which direction did he go?"

The old man pointed. "He was going that way, last I saw of him. He was singing, too. Lovely singer he is."

"Thank you," said Yuki as he walked brusquely in that direction. "For your help, that is." He didn't want this man thinking he took any credit for Shuichi's singing ability or anything, because that would be absurd.

"I am happy to help. Young Shindou-kun will be happy that his boyfriend is worrying about him so." He grinned.

Erk Yuki almost stopped in place, but instead poured more energy into getting the hell out of there and finding Shuichi so that he could yell at him for this.

...How had that old man known he was worried, anyway...and not, say, trying to find Shuichi so that he could ask him where the damned missing car keys are? Which he was. The second one, that is.

Damn those old folks and their unnatural intuitiveness. Yuki swore that, when he got old, he would never meddle unwelcomely in the affairs of young, normal people.

Where am I going? This is ridiculous, he fumed. How the hell am I supposed to find—

"Yuuukii! Over here!" The hyper waving arm threatening to pull itself out of its own socket was identification enough, but in case there was any doubt, the shocking pink hair was also a distinguishing feature. That was Shuichi, all right.

Yuki lifted a hand to acknowledge that he'd seen him. He put very little energy into it and quickly let it drop into his pocket. What was he doing here?? He needed a cigarette about now.

Much to his frustration, he didn't find a pack of cigarettes, but what he did find was – a key. A key attached to a keychain featuring an ugly little cartoon character and the words "Rental Bob's Car Rental Place for Renting Cars and Vans and Other Assorted Automobiles and Vehicles on Four Wheels."

Yuki wondered if promotional keychain manufacturers charged by the letter, and if so, who the lucky keychain-making bastard was who had gotten Rental Bob's business.

But what he really wondered was how he could have been stupid enough to have overlooked his own pocket when searching for the key. It must have been from hanging around with that damn Shuichi for so long.

Speaking of whom...Yuki quickly shoved the key back into his pocket and faced the water.

Shuichi was now paddling clumsily into shore. He waved again when he saw Yuki look up.

Yuki didn't bother to wave back this time. Instead he called out, "Shuichi! Have you...uh...seen the car keys anywhere? You didn't take them, did you?"

Shuichi shook his head. He was now only about ten feet from Yuki. "Did you look in your pocket? That's where I always find things."

Yuki glared. "Of course I did. Do you think I'm stupid?"

"Oh, well, I'm sorry you can't find them. I was kind of hoping you'd be back soon, because this isn't going so well and I'm still hungry."

"No kidding. What did I tell you, moron?"

"But it's a lot of fun!" Shuichi smiled, undeterred, as he brought the boat into the beach. "Come on, Yuki, get in! You'll love it!"

"If you didn't sound exactly like the guy on that Cheesy-O's commercial right now, I might have even a tiny amount of reason to believe you."

"Hey...I like Cheesy-O's," Shuichi defended.

"I rest my case."

"Huh?"

"Never mind. Look, just how long are you going to do this crap? Why don't you come – er, help me...find the keys, so we can actually go and get something to eat?"

"Yeah, yeah, in a little while. I can live," said Shuichi. Then he perked up and smiled again. "But right now there's something I want to show Yuki!"

"...You have to get in the boat!" he explained.

"I already said 'no.' What part of 'I don't want to get in that stupid rotting boat and go out on that smelly lake' don't you understand?"

"But Yukiii...You came all the way down here to see me, and you're not even going to have any fun?"

Annoyance flashed in Yuki's eyes. "You think I came down here to see you? I came to ask if you had the car keys, Idiot."

"Yukiii...you're so mean." Tears welled in the young man's omelet-sized eyes. He leapt up and clung to Yuki's arm pleadingly.

"Stop that."

Shuichi complied and loosened his grip. Most of the way. Then something impish in him possessed him to grab very tightly and pull Yuki into the boat by force.

Yuki, being the stronger of the two, would have resisted had he not been so caught by surprise. His eyes widened as he felt himself falling helplessly toward the painful-looking construction of wood. In a split second, it was no longer painful-looking, but very painful indeed.

"OW! God DAMMIT, Shuichi! That's the second time today. Son of a..." He opened his eyes and found himself staring upside-down into Shuichi's completely mortified face.

"I'm soooo sorry, I hurt Yuki again...uwaahh, how could I be so awful??" he wailed. He cradled Yuki's head and sobbed into it. Then he felt something wet on his fingertips and lifted his hand to see what it was. "Oh my god, Yuki, you're bleeding!"

"Great. Are you going to plaster my hair with Band-Aids now to guarantee more pain later?"

"I'm serious, Yuki, we've gotta do something. I know, here, I'll use my shirt..." He panicked and started unbuttoning it.

Great idea. Except that's my shirt, remember?, Yuki grumbled to himself. He decided to just let Shuichi do it anyway. He couldn't see the back of his own head and couldn't tell for himself how serious this was. And he didn't like that shirt much, anyway.

So demanding of attention the current situation was, that neither of them had noticed when the boat had slipped out of the sand and back into the water. Now they were slowly drifting out onto the sun-drenched lake, the light waves lapping playfully against the side of the boat.

Shuichi sat with Yuki's head in his lap, tending to the wound he had accidentally inflicted. It was rather a melancholy moment. Poor Yuki, he thought. Not only do I annoy him...but I also keep causing him physical injury. I hope he's not mad. But I know he has a right to be. Sigh.

"Hey, Yuki?" he spoke up.

"Hm?"

"I know this is a bad time to ask and everything, but...are you having fun?" he asked meekly. "I mean, apart from the bleeding and the hurting and the being annoyed and hungry," he quickly amended.

Yuki leaned his head back a little and looked up. Ow. "What else is there?" he chuckled in that "I'm serious" sort of way.

"Well, um, ah..." Shuichi blushed a little. "I mean, are you having fun being on vacation with...me?"

Yuki really didn't know how to respond. He hated answering questions that were so...direct. It was difficult to come up with vague or sarcastic responses to questions that required simply a yes-or-no answer. He settled on: "It's better than working." Which was a legitimate answer right now, and hopefully held no unintended subtext.

Shuichi grinned and acted like he was satisfied with this answer. But he had never really thought it was because of work that Yuki hadn't wanted to come. He still wanted to know if Yuki was enjoying his company. (And last night didn't count.) But he knew that Yuki would get angry if he pursued the topic any further, so he let it drop.

"Um...Yuki?"

"What?"

"I think we're like...in the middle of the lake." A drop of sweat appeared on his head.

"Well, dammit, get us 'like' out of the middle of the lake..." Yuki mumbled and trailed off.

"Yuki?..."

There was no response.

"...Yuki...?" his voice wavered. "Don't die, Yuki!!" He violently shook the injured man's shoulders. "YUKIII!!!"

"AAH! What the fuck...??" Yuki opened his eyes. "I'm not dying, stupid. I'm trying...trying to...sleep, so shut up and stop...stop..." He was out again.

Shuichi whimpered. Something was not right. He readjusted the makeshift cloth bandage, which now held a frightening amount of blood. He had thought the bleeding would stop sooner.

Well, whimpering would do no good, he decided. He reached for the paddle, taking care not to jostle Yuki's sleeping head in his lap too much. I'll get us back to shore and find someone who can help.

This task was, like many for Shuichi, easier said than done. When he finally had the paddle in his grasp, he realized that he would need his other hand. He carefully freed his right hand, which had been pressing the shirt to Yuki's wound. There was blood on it, so he tried to reach down into the water to wash it off. In so doing, he rocked the boat a little and panicked.

Suddenly this boat seemed a lot less fun than it had just ten minutes ago. Okay. I can do this. I can't catch fish, but I can help Yuki.

He cradled Yuki's head protectively in his legs and seized the paddle in both hands. He dipped it into the water and issued a determined stroke. Then another, and another.

And, to his dismay, he found himself going in a neat little circle.

How had he managed this earlier?

After much experimentation and frustration, he finally found a way to paddle the boat on a somewhat straight course while still attending to Yuki. It took a lot longer than he would've liked, but he eventually made his way back near the fishing equipment stand.

The old man caught sight of him and waved. "Shindou-kun! How was your luck? Catch anything?" He obviously couldn't see Yuki yet.

Shuichi shook his head fervently. "Please help!" He was almost to shore now. "I hurt...I mean, Yuki is hurt!"

"Oh, my..." the man ran up to meet him when he saw the blonde man lying unconsciously in Shuichi's lap. "What happened?"

"He, um, fell in the boat and hit his head," explained Shuichi, a little self-consciously.

"Stay right there," the old man instructed as he ran back to the fishing stand. He returned a moment later with a box of medical supplies. "Now get him out of there and onto the shore."

Shuichi nodded. He slipped both of his arms beneath Yuki's body and lifted.

"Nngh!" No good. He couldn't put his full strength into it. He was too afraid of losing his footing and falling and hurting himself as well.

But Yuki was now awake. "Ow...what are you doing, Shuichi? Where am I?"

"Um, uh...you're bleeding, remember? Come on; get out of the boat so we can help you."

Shuichi supported him as he stood up and almost tripped out of the boat. He sat down and rubbed the back of his head. "Oh shit..." he mumbled. "I am bleeding."

"Now just stay still," said the old man as he began to wipe down Yuki's hair and clean the wound.

"What?" Yuki pulled away. "Do you know what you're doing?" he interrogated.

The little old man looked into his face very seriously. "I used to be a doctor," he stated in a flat warning tone.

Yuki cursed to himself under his breath. This was not fun. Not fun at all. He needed a cigarette. And coffee, dammit. Only an idiot would forget to bring coffee. And Shuichi was in charge of bringing stuff, he reminded himself.

"Ow!" Having that old man and Shuichi poking around in his hair pissed him off. Oh, the indignity of it all. He reminded himself that they were only helping and tried to calm down.

But then he remembered that this was Shuichi's fault to begin with.

But Shuichi already looked so upset that yelling at him would be cruel. Er, pointless.

Whatever. He still needed coffee. And a cigarette. Oh, and food, too.

"There," announced the old man. "That should do it. It looked bad at first, but you should be just fine, Yuki-san. There was no injury to the head other than a bump and a breaking of the skin. But you should rest and take it easy for awhile just in case."

"Yeah, Yuki," agreed Shuichi. "Just don't scare me again like you did when you passed out back there..."

"I didn't pass out. I was sleeping like I said I was, moron. Because you woke me up too early and because I haven't had any coffee yet."

"Oh!" Shuichi brought his hands up in that 'why-didn't-you-say-so' sort of way. "If you want caffeine, I still have half a bottle of that Electro Glucose Explosion stuff in the car. You can have it."

"Er..." he winced. "No thanks." Was this the secret to Shuichi's annoying, neverending bouncy hyperness? Somehow he'd see to it in the future that the plug get pulled on the Electro Glucose Explosion.

Yuki began to get up. "Well, thanks for the help...sir. Come on, Shuichi, let's go into town and buy food."

"Oh, no, you mustn't!" the man protested. "It would be a good idea for you to rest now, sir. The bleeding is stopping and there is a minimal chance that this would happen, but it is still possible that you could be passing out behind the wheel."

"I'll be fine. I'll take my chances. Now if you'll excuse us..." he firmly grasped Shuichi's hand and began to lead him back up toward the campsite.

"But—"

Yuki wanted to tell that old geezer to shove it, but he clenched his teeth and said, "Look. I appreciate your concern, doctor, but right now the things I'm most likely to faint from are hunger and maybe caffeine deficiency. Goodbye."

He strode away impatiently with Shuichi stumbling behind him.

"Aa, Yuki...?" Shuichi ventured when they were a considerable distance away. "What if he was right? Maybe you should rest..."

Yuki turned around and glared. "Shove it."

Shuichi lowered his head a little and shut up. Only momentarily, though. Now he apparently had another idea. "Hey, Yuki! Why don't I drive so you can rest?"

Yuki's eyes widened and he stopped short. You. Have. Got. To. Be. Kidding. Me.

"Do you even have a license??" he sputtered.

"Yeah!" Shuichi grinned. "I just never use it because I don't have a car and there's not much need for one in downtown Tokyo. And you always drive whenever we go somewhere else. Which is hardly ever, but still."

"When did you...?"

"A while back, I wanted to get a license so I could drive Hiro's motorcycle. But you have to get a regular license first, you know. I just barely passed the test, but I couldn't pass the motorcycle one. It was so hard. And Hiro didn't give me much sympathy at all. Can you imagine?"

Actually, I can, thought Yuki. His thoughts wandered back to the situation at hand. And his answer was a firm: "No."

"I know! He was almost happy or something that I didn't pass, I swear...and I was mad at him for a few days, until he said he would take me on his motorcycle and buy me a quintuple-scoop strawberry ice cream cone, and I didn't even know they did that many scoops..."

"I meant, No. You're not driving."

"Huh? Why not?"

Yuki sniggered. Then he turned it into a sort of laugh that really wasn't terribly happy sounding at all. Then he fell silent and resumed his expressionless stare ahead.

"...Yuukiii...You think I'm a bad driver, don't you?" Shuichi whined as they arrived back at the campsite.

"That's an understatement."

"I don't know what that means, but how do you know I'm a bad driver? Just trust me Yuki, I'm a great driver!"

Shuichi popped open the trunk to find a new shirt to wear. Without thinking, Yuki removed the keys from his pocket and grasped the door handle. He pulled, and jumped a little in surprise when he was greeted by a certain pink-haired someone sitting in his seat behind the wheel. How had he gotten there so quickly?

Shuichi peered over the top of his sunglasses coolly. "You said those were lost." He indicated the keys in Yuki's grasp.

Oh, shit. "Well, uh...I just...found them. Happy?" he tried lamely. He was in no mood for this.

"In – your – pocket!" he sang. "Hahahaha, stu-pid Yu-ki!"

Yuki actually did feel rather stupid, but he acted like he was not amused in the least. "Move out of that seat."

"No. I'm driving."

"If you think for one second that I am seriously going to let you drive..."

"Fine, then." Shuichi grabbed the keys, slammed the door shut and started the ignition before Yuki could blink. (Thank you, Electro Glucose Explosion!)

Yuki frantically pulled on the door only to find it locked. Shuichi was now backing very unevenly out of the campsite.

It was time, in that instant, to make a potentially life-altering decision. Yuki sure as hell did not want to ride in a vehicle that had a driver like Shuichi behind the wheel. But he also couldn't very well allow said driver to operate a vehicle on his own and endanger not only his own life, but also the lives of all the innocent people in his path.

Yuki lunged for the passenger door and pulled. He found it unlocked, of course. He jumped in just as the car spun on its tires and then lurched forward dangerously.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" he spat as he fell into the seat and slammed the door behind him.

"Driving," Shuichi replied. He looked over and smiled. "What does it look like I'm doing?"

"Idiot! Stop looking at me and look in front of you!"

Shuichi swerved back onto the road and narrowly avoided the tree for which he had been on a collision course.

Yuki wondered what heart attacks felt like. He wouldn't be surprised if he were about to find out.

A/N: I will admit that I don't know much about drivers' licenses in Japan or about the validity of foreign drivers' licenses in the United States. So don't try and call me on that technicality, because I already know that I am almost certainly wrong. But please try to ignore that detail and just enjoy the story. nn;;

One reviewer mentioned that it would be unusual for Shuichi and Eiri to do the camping thing or to worry about money. For Shuichi's part, this is what he wanted to do, to try that American roadtrip ideal vacation that he heard about from god-knows-where. And as for Eiri, his reluctance to spend money is purely based on principal. He doesn't like the fact that after he so generously agreed to even come, he's now the one who has ended up paying for it all. It's like a big present that Shuichi has picked out for himself and is taking advantage of (in his opinion). He still has the mindset that the entire thing is stupid. Or at least he's stubbornly determined to have that mindset. Hehe.

And I think I've figured out why I hardly ever write Shuichi's thoughts. It's because he always seems to just say whatever he's thinking. No mystery about that guy. Yeah, I guess I figured that out before, but I never really realized it until I tried to write his character, y'know?

Please Review! Or I will...um...throw you into a wooden boat?

Yeah, and it'll hurt, dammit!

(I will try to think of a new idle threat for each chapter.

Watch them get progressively lamer. :3)