The Off Track

By Aoi Umi

A/N: This chapter is definitely fluff. x.x It's kinda serious for awhile (and hopefully not corny), but I hope it's still funny too. I've now read book 7 and seen through episode 10, and I'm realizing that the characters (namely Eiri) go through a lot of changes and do things unexpectedly. So I dunno what the timeframe of this fic is. x.x;;


Chapter 6: "Love/Hate Ya, Rain or Shine"

"Why did you put the top down?? It's going to rain!"

"No it isn't," replied the happy young driver, as if his sunny disposition were enough in itself to dispel the clouds.

Japan's renowned romance novelist Yuki Eiri wondered just what he was doing without food, without caffeine, without a pack of cigarettes, with an ugly bandage tied to his pained head, flirting with death at entirely too many miles per hour at the hand of the driver from hell.

Just barely restraining myself from sending him back to hell, he decided, bleary-eyed.

The car made a sudden swerve and the side of Yuki's head met door. He recoiled and brought a hand to his head to discover a new bump.

Okay, make that: trying to stay alive for the time being.

"DAMN IT! Pull over, you idiot Shuichi!"

"No! I'm a licensed driver; I know what I'm doing."

"That doesn't mean shit. You don't know shit! You're driving on the wrong side of the road—This isn't Tokyo!" he screamed.

"Huh?" Shuichi's eyes widened as this accusation was confirmed by a semi truck headed straight for him. Or rather, he was headed straight for it. He relinquished his grip on the wheel as Yuki leapt over and desperately jerked it to return the car just in time to the correct lane.

Shuichi was petrified. The light drops of rain stung his eyes, but he was unable to close them at all or to concentrate on where he was. He didn't even notice as the car rapidly lost speed.

"Idiot! Hurry up and step on the accelerator!" Yuki yelled urgently after glancing over his shoulder at the cars behind them.

"What?" Shuichi, still staring ahead in wide-eyed terror, felt around with his foot and tried to locate it. When he did, he issued an instinctive stomp, causing the tires to screech and nearly causing Yuki to let go of the wheel.

With the wind and rain in his eyes, it took all Yuki had to maintain his grip and steer from this odd angle. Luckily, the road was mostly straight. He intended to pull over and switch seats as soon as possible.

But it ended up being sooner than he had expected when suddenly the car lost speed again.

"I told you to accelerate!"

"I am," whimpered Shuichi. He tried stepping on the accelerator again and again, but to no avail.

Yuki glanced apprehensively at the gauges. "Oh, shit." It was just as he had feared: the fuel gauge read "empty."

With some difficulty, he eased the sputtering car onto the shoulder and let it come slowly to a stop. Several heart-pounding seconds later, he loosened his tight grip on the wheel and removed the key from the ignition. He touched the convertible top button, then sat back without a word and closed his eyes.

Shuichi couldn't tell if Yuki was mad, or what. He looked up dolefully from his shiny, wet, downturned face. "Yuki?"

"Hm?"

"I'm...sorry..." he choked.

Yuki opened one eye and glanced at the pathetic-looking boy curled up in the driver's seat next to him. He still looked quite shaken up about the whole thing. Yuki could have sworn that Shuichi was even shaking a little, literally, and there were little tears welled in the corners of his eyes.

In fact, with his bedraggled hair and wet clothing, he looked not unlike a lonely, distraught little rodent. Not like his usual self at all. But he had an excuse. Having a near-death experience can really affect one's psyche, if only temporarily.

Yuki gently seized Shuichi's shoulders and pulled him halfway into his lap. "Idiot," he muttered softly.

Shuichi clenched his fists and gripped his lover's damp shirt very tightly. For several minutes neither of them moved an inch. The only sounds to be heard were the pattering of raindrops on the roof and Shuichi's ragged but steadily calming breaths.

When his trembling had subsided and his heart had nearly returned to a normal rate, Shuichi slowly dragged his entire body into Yuki's lap and looked up into his face.

He looked genuinely ashamed of himself.

"You were right," he breathed. "I guess I didn't know what I was doing. I could have killed both of us...I could have killed you, Yuki!" He buried his face in Yuki's shirt and began to cry.

With those words, a pang shot through Yuki's heart as he stared into the distance. He brought his eyes to linger on the top of Shuichi's head. He wrapped his arms in comfort around his lover's quivering body and held him closely, because right now he was certain that he couldn't have lived with himself if he didn't.

This was a different sort of upset than the last time. Shuichi wasn't crying like a chick, he was crying...like a person. For an admittedly legitimate reason. Yuki Eiri was surprised to find that he felt no shame at all in offering him comfort. Which should have been annoying, but was strangely somehow...liberating.

It would have been nice to have been able to get his heart out of his esophagus, but Eiri didn't mind the feeling so much as the rain grew heavier and louder. Shuichi's hair smelled a bit like a wet dog's at the moment, but it was distinctly his own scent and it was not shunned.

...In fact, that hair made a nice sort of pillow, in a way.

"Yuki..." Shuichi smiled weakly. "You're making my head hurt."

Yuki opened his eyes and lifted his head. "Oh...your head hurts?"

Shuichi's smile faded and he turned his eyes down again. "Oh...yeah...uh...sorry."

"Just promise you won't ever do that again," Yuki said softly.

"What?" Shuichi looked up. "...Almost splitting your head open? Or almost driving you into a fiery, explosive death?" His voice strengthened, but wavered. "Or even taking you away from your job and the comfort of your home to force you to spend time with me?"

"You didn't force me. Don't go thinking you could have by the way," said Yuki. "I came myself."

"...Why?" Shuichi implored quietly.

That was the accursed one-word question that couldn't be avoided by vagueness, sarcasm, or indirect answers. Damn it. And he didn't have an answer.

Silence might work.

Shuichi didn't persist. But whether this could be attributed to Eiri's superior silence techniques or to his suddenly demanding stomach was uncertain.

Shuichi smiled a little again and put an ear to Yuki's stomach. "Yuki is hungry," he stated.

"Is he?" Yuki mumbled, seemingly uninterested.

"You know..." said Shuichi. "I just now remembered...I might have something to eat here somewhere...hold on..." He turned around and his head disappeared in the well of the front seat to scour his bag for food. "Manga...pencils...magnets...lip balm...Band-Aids...Nittle Grasper CDs...Ookami-san...marbles...Chia Pet™..." he tallied to himself.

Yuki made a face. Chia Pet™?

"Here it is!" Shuichi announced with delight. He held a packaged strawberry shortcake treat in front of Yuki's eyes and wiped away the last of his own tears with the back of his hand. "I was saving it for you yesterday, but then I forgot," he explained humbly.

Sweets were never satisfying choices to satiate immense hunger, and he had essentially bought the thing himself since it had been his money...but Yuki smiled ever so slightly anyway. He took the package, opened it, and broke the treat in two. He offered one half to Shuichi, but it was refused.

"No, it's for you, Yuki. Eat it. I'm okay." As if on cue, his own stomach protested.

"Idiot." Yuki parted the young man's lips with his fingers and shoved the cake into his mouth.

Shuichi blinked. Then he chomped down and let the remaining piece fall into his hand. "Mmm...thih ih good," he said through a crumb- and frosting-caked smile. He leaned the side of his head on Yuki's chest again and devoured the snack happily.

Yuki consumed his portion with a bit more dignity. "Pig. You're getting crumbs all over me, you know," he pointed out.

Shuichi stopped. Then a mischievous smile of the grandest proportions twisted itself onto his face. "Don't worry. I'll clean it up." He could hardly contain himself, and his zealousness came off as just a little creepy.

Realization suddenly dawned, but before anything could be done to prevent it, Eiri's personal lapdog released his affection in the best way that dogs know how – and removed the cake crumbs from Yuki's lap in the process.

Yuki shuddered. He seized Shuichi by the shoulders and held him up eye-to-eye. "What do you think you are doing?"

Shuichi craned his neck forward and extended his tongue toward Yuki's face in response.

Yuki held him back. "Stop being such a slobbery, disgusting little perv-ass, and I might just kiss you."

Shuichi quieted himself and shut his mouth.

"There's a good boy," said Yuki just before closing his eyes and pulling Shu-chan in for a kiss. Very quickly the kiss became deeper than he had intended, but he didn't mind…until Shuichi's tongue brushed Yuki's lip, and instead of entering his mouth, it quickly slid with all its slobber up the side of his face.

Yuki froze. He pushed Shuichi away from him again and swept the back of his hand across his face. "Damn you. What was that for? You're disgusting."

Shuichi simply giggled. Hugging Yuki softly, he said, "I love you, Yuki. I can't even stay sad when I'm around you. I wanna express it in as many ways as I possibly can." He beamed.

"Oh, so it's loving you want?" smirked Eiri. "Okay." He drew Shuichi close and proceeded to reach inside the back of his pants.

Shuichi's eyes widened. "Na? W-wait! What are you doing, Yuki?"

Yuki withdrew unconcernedly. "Oh, so you don't? Fine; whatever."

Shuichi stared fixedly through beady eyes. "N-no! I mean, I do! I do want it!" He waved his arms frantically.

"Too late."

"Yukiii!"

"You think I'd actually do that right now? We're still parked on the side of the highway, idiot. I was just messing with you. You really are easy to mess with; you know that?"

Shuichi lowered his head.

Silence.

"So, um…What do we do now, Yuki?"

"Sit here forever on the brink of starvation and see which of us resorts to cannibalism first. Just how good did I taste, hm?" he pinched Shuichi's cheek suspiciously.

"Yuki! I would never ever eat you, no matter how good you taste!" he clung defiantly to Yuki's arm, chibi-style.

"What did I just tell you, you moron?" muttered Yuki, his eyes half-lidded.

"You told me that you thought I would eat you," Shuichi stated.

How can anyone even be so thick? Yuki wondered.

"So…what do we really do, Yuki?"

Okay, good; maybe he's got a couple of brain cells in that pink head of his after all. "Call for a tow truck or something, I suppose, so we can get the hell out of here. I don't know. This has never happened to me before."

"Well, in the movies they always send the dumb blonde guy to walk across the desert and bring back gas."

"And who would that be??" questioned Yuki, his voice rising a little. Shuichi had unknowingly hit on a slight nerve.

"Well, I dunno. You're blonde, but I'm the dumb guy, I guess." Shuichi smiled sheepishly and Yuki relinquished the offense he had taken. "We could both go..."

"Think, dumb one. We don't know where the hell we are. We don't know where a town is. We could walk for 25 miles and not find one. Then we'd still have to come back, even if we did."

"Oh…yeah."

Yuki took out his cell phone and flipped it open. When did I turn this off?, he wondered. Then he tried turning it on…and he tried it again… "What the--? What's wrong with my phone, dammit?! I just charged it!"

"Yuki? Ne, what's wrong, Yuki?"

"My goddamn phone won't work," he growled. "Where's yours?"

"Mine?" Shuichi stared blankly. "I didn't bring mine."

"What? Why the hell not???"

"Jeez, calm down, Yuki. You're scary without all the stuff you're addicted to. I told you, you can have my soda; it has plenty of caffiene…"

"I don't want your damn soda," he tried more calmly. "Just please tell me you brought your cell phone."

"I didn't bring it. I use it mostly for work. Well, and Hiro. But I didn't want to talk to anyone but you, so I didn't bring it."

"Well next time, please spare me that consideration," sighed Yuki, forehead in his hand. His stomach growled again. "I give up. This can't get any worse, can it?"

"Well…I think it could be worse." Shuichi was determined to remain optimistic, despite how uncomfortable the situation was. "We could be surrounded by hungry man-eating jackals or something. Or even man-eating giraffes. Really tall ones." He smiled a little, but got no response.

The sky rumbled.

"At least we're with each other," he continued, clutching Yuki's hand in both of his own.

"Stop that cheesy bullshit" ran through Eiri's head, but it never quite found its way to his lips. He muttered a detached "Hn" instead.

Silence.

"Shit."

"Eh? What is it, Yuki?" Shuichi peered into Yuki's face.

"Shit! The only conclusion I can come to is that…the only thing left to do is…" His face twisted in a dramatic, macabre sort of way.

Shuichi waited.

"…Hitchhike," he uttered hollowly.

Please Review!
Or I shall sic a pack of flesh-eating giraffes on you!
And I've been told that they haven't eaten for a week :o
And bribing them with candy doesn't work, so don't even try it. ¬.¬