Disclaimer: The song Changes belongs to 3 doors down.

A/N: Thanks to Maggymoo21, Bubblz, BrucasNaleyluvr, Duckygirl, and JamesLady4eva for reviewing my story.

Chapter Fifteen

Brooke sat on the couch with a mug of coffee in her hands and took a sip from in ever so often. Next to her sat Peyton who was fidgeting with her hands trying to find something to say that would break the silence that had settled over them. On the floor on a blanket were Jenny and Cody playing with one another. Lucas had needed to be by himself as he sifted through what the lawyer had told him. Brooke had said she would watch Cody for him. Jake had to go to work. He usually took Jenny to his mom's house but Peyton offered to watch Jenny so Jenny could play with Cody and she could talk with Brooke.

"How's Lucas doing?" Brooke asked.

Brooke sighed. She knew this question was coming. She knew it would from the second she had walked in the house an hour ago. She was just dreading the answer she would give.

"Not to good," Brooke settled on, "He's devastated that his daughter is out there."

Peyton nodded in understanding. She could only imagine what Lucas was going through. She was also starting to see that Brooke was feeling the pain as well. In the months that Cody had been with them everyone had opened their hearts to him. But Brooke and Lucas opened their hearts the most. Brooke saw her self as Cody's mother. She had admitted it one day in the hospital when Cody had given them all the scare. Then she remembered their meeting with the lawyer.

"How did the meeting go?" Peyton asked.

Brooke sighed shaking her head.

"The lawyer said we don't have that great a chance of getting Isabelle back," Brooke said after a moment of silence.

Peyton gasped.

"What? Why?"

It seems Nikki forged Lucas's signature on the adoption papers. The lawyer said that the court wouldn't believe he hadn't known about Isabelle if he had Cody with him. He said he would do his best but we shouldn't get our hopes up."

Peyton looked into Brooke's brown eyes and saw so much pain in them. It was as if Isabelle had been her child and had been taken away from her. She realized just how much Brooke had grown since Cody had come into their lives. She was happy and sad for her friend at the same time. Happy her friend finally found happiness and sad that it had been shattered by that good for nothing bitch Nikki. She swore if she ever came across Nikki in a dark alley she would kick Nikki's ass for the pain she caused her friends.

I'm not supposed to be scared of anything,
But I don't know where I am
I wish that I could move but I'm exhausted
And nobody understands (how I feel)

Lucas stood in front of the basketball hoop and took a shot. The ball missed by a foot. He sighed and turned his back on the hoop and looked out into the water. He didn't know how his life had become so screwed up. He wished that he could fix his mistakes. But not all of them were his mistakes. The mistakes over others also have an effect on the people around him. Nikki's decisions were what screwed his life up. He didn't know what he could do to fix them. More then anything he wanted his daughter back. But from what the lawyer said it didn't look like that was going to happen.

I'm tryin' hard to breathe now,
But there's no air in my lungs.
There's no one here to talk to
And the pain inside is making me numb.

Lucas walked over and picked up the ball he tried to shoot anther basket and it was even worse then his first try.

I try to hold this under control,
They can't help me, cause no one knows.

He took the basketball and threw into in to the water as hard as it could. Lucas saw the splash but couldn't hear the splash. He couldn't hear anything. He couldn't feel anything. His body and mind were numb.

Now I'm goin' through changes, changes.
God, I feel so frustrated lately.
When I get suffocated, save me.
Now I'm goin' through changes, changes

Lucas was trying to wrap his head around the fact that he had a daughter out there and at the rate it was going he would never see her. He wouldn't hold her as a baby. Take care of her when she was sick. See her off to the first day of school. Do all the things a father does to his daughter. Sure he had Cody. And he loved him with all his heart. But there would always be that whole in his heart that could never be filled.

Feelin' weak and weary
Walkin' through this world alone
Everything they say every word of it
Cuts me to the bone, (and I bleed)

Nathan came up behind his brother. Lucas was so wrapped in his thoughts staring into the blue water that he didn't hear him or know he was their till Nathan put a hand on his shoulder. Lucas glanced as his brother before returning his gaze to the water.

"How are you holding up?" Nathan asked.

I've got something to say
But now I've got nowhere to turn
It feels like I've been buried
Underneath all the weight of the world.

I try to hold this under control,
They can't help me, cause no one knows.
Now I'm goin through changes, changes
God, I feel so frustrated lately

When I get suffocated, save me.
Now I'm goin' through changes, changes

I'm blind and shaken', bound and breakin'
I hope I'll make it, through all these changes.

Lucas sighed. He didn't know how he was feeling. Was numb an answer? Was emotionless an answer? Could he tell his brother that he couldn't feel anymore? If he couldn't feel how was he too raise Cody with all the love in the world? How was he supposed to love Brooke if he couldn't' love at all? These questions flashed threw his mind at lightening speed not giving him a chance to dwell on any of them too long. He turned to his brother with a blank gaze. No emotion could be detected from his blue eyes. But Nathan saw past that. Saw past the blankness and emotionless eyes and saw the pain that would come to the surface when Lucas least expected it.

"I can't feel anything," replied Lucas with a blank expression before he turned and left the courts.

Now I'm going through changes, changes
God I feel so frustrated, lately
When I get suffocated, save me.
Now I'm falling apart, now I feel it.

But I'm going through changes, changes.
God I feel so frustrated, lately.
And I get suffocated, I hate this.
But I'm going through changes, changes.

Nathan watched his brother walk away. He felt a sharp pain in his heart for what his brother must be going through.

"You will soon," Nathan whispered after his brother.