The Off Track
by Aoi Umi
A/N: Yes, I am still writing this! dun dun dun dunnn Sorry the going is so slow, but it's so very hard to catch a break nowadays. ;.;
Anyway, thanks so much, everyone! I really can't believe this got over 100 reviews! I will definitely finish this! No matter how long it takes...
Chapter 9: "A Carriage Ride Made for Two"
Outside, Yuki and Shuichi breathed the night air.
"I guess we should find some place to stay, huh?" said Shuichi.
"Or we could just sleep in a gutter somewhere," Yuki replied sarcastically.
"Sleep?" Shuichi grinned. "Who said anything about sleeping?"
Yuki gave him a sideways glance. "Don't get too horny...you've been pissing me off today," he answered.
"Yukiiii!" Shu scowled playfully and leaned into Eiri's arm. He would have grasped it had he not been carrying so much luggage. "How did you know I wasn't talking about jumping on the bed, or watching TV, or playing those outdated video games and charging them to your credit card?"
"Because I know you and I know that you have an indelible motel sex fetish," he smirked.
Shuichi blushed, and to his annoyance, it was right as he was passing beneath a washed, illuminating street lamp. "I-I do not," he stammered.
Eiri smirked again. "Oh? I seem to recall the time when you—"
Shuichi gasped and shoved his hand in front of his boyfriend's mouth. "Yuki!" he pleaded. "Don't! Not that!...We're in public," he whispered meagerly.
Eiri closed his eyes and smiled. This was fun. "There's no one around. And we're speaking Japanese, remember? What...embarrassed, my chaste princess?"
"No!" he replied hotly. He fell silent and looked down at his idly twiddling fingers. After a moment, he burst out, "Okay! I do want to! I really want to! I wanna make hot, passionate, kinky motel love with you, Yuki! Happy??" he cried.
"Too bad," Eiri answered nonchalantly. "If that's the way you feel, I might even get two rooms in order to make sure I get to sleep tonight."
Shuichi sighed huffily. "You are so evil." He knew that Yuki wouldn't do that, though. Not really. He hoped.
"I'll make you a deal. You carry all of this," (he dumped his half of the luggage on Shuichi) "and I'll only get one room."
"Nngh," Shuichi grunted from some incalculable depth beneath the suitcases, pillows, and miscellaneous junk. He shifted the load until he could at least manage to see where he was walking. "I didn't mean evil; I meant incredibly generous, o evi—uh, selfless one." He grinned falsely.
"If you sounded any more convincing, I think I'd have to have my publishing company hire you as my advertising director."
"Huh? I already have a job."
Eiri sighed. "Never mind." Sarcasm is lost on that moron.
"Yukiii...how much longer do we have to walk?"
"Stop whining. I don't know. Do you see any motels around here?"
"We could get a taxi or something, right?"
"Do you see any taxis?"
"Um..." Shuichi turned around and surveyed the entire road from left to right.
"Well?"
"No."
Yuki scoffed. "Stay right here on the sidewalk," he instructed. "I'm going to buy cigarettes." He made for a lonely corner store nearby.
"Oh! Get Pocky, too!" Shuichi called. He wasn't sure whether or not Yuki had heard. Lonely, he sat down and placed the luggage beside him, then looked up and down the empty street. He was definitely not in Tokyo anymore.
The sun having set, it was a little cool out. He dug a large jacket of Yuki's out of the pile and snuggled up inside it. His gaze lingered on a fuzzy halo of light around one of the street lamps. The sound of the air moving through the century-old buildings had an odd but lulling quality. Shuichi's heavy eyelids lapsed between open and shut. Nodding, he was nearly asleep when he suddenly started at a steadily approaching clop-clop noise.
The driver pulled on the reins and slowed the carriage to a stop before Shuichi. "Evenin'. Haven't seen you around these parts," he tipped his hat. "What's a pretty young lass like you doing out all alone?"
Shuichi's eyes fluttered open. He blinked. "Ano..." His sleepy voice held a soft, almost feminine quality. "Who are you?" he asked in Japanese.
"Oh," said the driver, surprised. "You're really not from around these parts, are you?"
Shuichi just stared. He didn't want to be rude, but he couldn't help looking at the unusual spotted gray horse reined to the carriage. The entire contraption was something straight out of the old movies.
At that moment, Yuki approached. He was in the process of drawing a cigarette from a package and had nearly brought it to his lighter when he caught sight of Shuichi and the horse-drawn carriage. Dammit, what is this...?
"Hello," he greeted in English. "Please excuse my friend." He placed a hand on Shuichi's shoulder. "Shuichi does not speak English."
Shuichi looked around confusedly.
"Well, good evening to you both. Is this lovely young lady someone special in your life?"
Eiri blanched. He wanted to laugh. "Um..." This was unexpected. "Yes..."
"Might I interest the two of you in a romantic carriage ride?"
"Uh..."
"Ohhh, Yuki!" Shuichi's eyes lit up. He was recalling a scene from a romantic movie set in Paris. Somehow he could guess what was going on. "Do you think we could go for a ride in it?" he squealed.
"What...?? That?"
Shuichi nodded.
Yuki sighed. My feet are damn tired. And I don't have a fucking clue where we're going. A carriage ride would solve both of these prob--...
Shuichi fluttered his eyelids and flashed his lavender doe eyes.
Yuki's gaze narrowed. He accepted the driver's offer and climbed into the seat in the resigned manner of one who knows that he is doomed to regret his actions.
Shuichi was ecstatic. He piled the junk into the seat, leaving precisely enough room so as to sit as close as physically possible to Yuki. He leapt in and commenced to lean his head lovingly on his man's shoulder in imitation of the movie.
Eiri sighed and gritted his teeth. At least he could relax and just go with it, though, this time. "He thinks you're a girl, you know," he informed Shuichi.
Shuichi blushed. "Re...Really?" He laughed nervously.
"...And I hope you know that's the only reason I'm letting you hold my hand."
"Then..." Shuichi looked into his eyes and grinned. "...I'll be like a girl for you more often, Yuki!" He giggled in a grating falsetto.
Eiri cringed. "Please—no."
Shuichi just continued to smile. He scooted even closer and snuggled.
What's his deal with holding hands, anyway?? Eiri wondered. Isn't it a lot better to have my hands on his...
But somehow, Shuichi's ridiculous smile was annoyingly soft and...pretty. Pretty? Eiri looked away and then looked back. He felt warm. Feverish. I must be getting sick. Yes – yes, Shuichi did look quite...pretty.
Meanwhile, Shuichi's little heart was full to the level of bursting. He wanted so badly to giggle, it hurt to suppress it. I love doing things that normal couples do. I love loving Yuki and I love Yuki loving me. Heee.
The night was soft now and a sort of dulled rain-cooled warmth permeated the lamp-lit air. The wet scent of farmland mingled with that of the cobblestoned, brick-building enchantment of the old frontier town. The driver said little, and the horse's clopping was quite rhythmic and soothing.
Shuichi yawned. Once again he blinked sleepily and prepared to leave the world behind for one of dreams. And – so conveniently – as he nodded off, his head came to rest on Yuki's shoulder.
He's faking it again. Eiri sulked. I've got to learn how he does that, so I can do it to himwhen I don'twant to be around him.
"Unfortunately, things are slow around here tonight," announced the carriage driver. "Normally there is some activity downtown, but I'm afraid everyone is at the big agriculture convention right now," he sighed.
The...what? Dear lord.
Clop-clop-clop.
"So..." Eiri began a moment later. "Where does this thing go?"
"Normally just around the block a couple of times for your five bucks there. But since business is slow, we can go wherever you want...of course, it might cost a little more," he hinted.
Damn, but that guy is subtle. Oh, well. Like I can't spare the cash. "We're traveling and we'd like to find a motel, if you can recommend one."
"Oh yes, yes, certainly," he agreed, turning back around to attend to the reins. "You know," he looked back again, "all the big chain motels are going to be full because of the convention. But there are some nice little privately-owned motels around here that should have vacancies."
Eiri nodded. Great. I wonder why they have vacancies.
"Sir?"
Eiri blinked dazedly. "Nnn..hm?"
"Oh, good, you are awake, then."
A little color came to Eiri's face. He hadn't intended to fall asleep. Neither had he intended to fall asleep resting atop Shuichi's head. He quickly pulled away and tried to regain his composure.
"I searched all over to find a motel with a room open," continued the driver, "and all in all it took well over an hour. Normally, my 15-minute fee is..."
Yeah, yeah, shut up. Eiri reached in his pocket and handed the man a wad of cash. He probably took that long on purpose, the bastard...
The little man voraciously turned his attention to the money.
Now to wake the brat from la-la land and then get some real sleep. Eiri supposed he could almost literally feel exhausted rings about his eyes. Had that idiotic fishing incident occurred only that morning?
"Hey, Shu...baka...wake up."
No sound.
"Shuichi." He shook him. "WAKE UP."
A cute sleep-noise: "Naaa..."
Eiri's eye twitched a little. "WAKE UP, DAMMIT! I'm not carrying you! And I couldn't even if I felt like it, because someone has to carry your freaking lead-weight bags of shit! You pack like a girl," he huffed.
"Yuki..." Shuichi snuggled into his lap.
Yuki clenched his frustrated fist. "You are awake, aren't you?" he sang. "You little bastard..." he enunciated slowly.
"Carry...me...Yuki."
"Carry this, dumbass." He stood abruptly and allowed Shuichi to fall crashing to the floor of the carriage.
"Owowow..." Shuichi rose, rubbing his head and squinting up at Yuki through one eye. "Are you tryin'...(yawn)...to kill me, Yuki?" he grumbled.
"At least you could pass for sleeping if you were dead," he shrugged. "For being a performer, you're not a very good actor."
Shuichi stumbled out of the carriage after Yuki. The oversized jacket fell off his shoulder in the process. The driver caught sight of his torso, clothed with a more fitted t-shirt. Oh god...that's not a woman, is it?...
A young lady sat at the computer behind the motel desk. She couldn't have been more than 16. The look on her face clearly stated, "I wish I were not here right now." Ah, the beauty of the family-owned business.
"I need a room, please," Yuki announced.
She looked up. HELLoo, what's this? She smiled. "There's only one room here," she smacked her gum and glanced at his companion, "an' it's a single."
"Er...that's okay," Eiri began. He leaned in to whisper, "Him, carrying all the stuff...he's like my lackey, you see. He sleeps on the floor. Good for 'im."
"Uh...uh-huh," she nodded. Her eyes sparkled and she blinked at him.
"So..."
"Hmm?"
"About that room...?"
"Oh...right." She reluctantly handed him a key. Her eyes followed him as he eased his way out of the office, pink-haired lackey (not bad-looking himself) in tow.
"Yuki--" accused Shuichi. "--what were you whispering about to that girl??"
"Oh, just how I think she has eyes like the sky, and a nice body, and how later tonight I want to sneak out and meet her for a shake in the woods," he replied.
Shuichi raised his hackles and nearly dropped the luggage. "Yuki--!"
Eiri laughed softly and somewhat cruelly. "Have you always been this gullible, or is that cardboard having adverse effects on your brain?"
Shuichi smiled. A little. Then he yawned again.
Eiri, meanwhile, observed the aesthetic qualities of the strip motel...or rather, the lack of them. Weeds grew through the sidewalk cracks and the ancient pale-blue paint on the building was chipping.
He stopped before a greenish-brown door (which really did clash with the powder-colored building). "Thirteen and a half," he announced. He checked the key to make sure he was in the right place.
"...Half?" asked Shuichi. "Really?"
"Really. Don't ask me why."
Eiri turned the key in the lock. (Keys. Honestly. When will this time-warp be over?) The door creaked open to reveal...
"Oh. That's why it's 'half,'" Shuichi stated bluntly. "It is half."
Indeed, space in the room appeared to be quite limited. Not quite "closet space beneath the stairs" a la Harry Potter, but definitely smaller than expected, and possibly more poorly decorated than a closet. Faded cow-spotted curtains hung from assorted rings, and an ugly lamp stood lonely in the corner.
"It's the size of a frickin' college dorm," Eiri grumbled as they entered. He was really not used to this at all. But really, at this point he was beyond caring. If I see one lousy rodent, though, I'll blow its damn head off. "Set that stuff somewhere." He sat on the bed and removed his shirt. "I'm going to sleep."
"Yuki..." Shuichi sniffled. "What about me?"
"I don't care what you do. Take a shower. You need one. Watch TV. They've probably got four whole channels. Watch the freakin' paint peel off the wall. Just don't wake me up." He rolled over and faced the wall.
"Can I...can I...sleep...too?"
"Why are you asking me?"
"Because..." he played with his hair nervously. "You're in the only bed."
"How is it any different from when you leap uninvited into bed at home?"
"It's not, I guess..."
"Then go ahead."
Shuichi smiled and eased under the covers next to him. He snuggled his body up close to Yuki's.
"...But don't even try raping me, you horny little brat. I feel you," Eiri snickered.
Shuichi blushed.
"Maybe in the morning."
"Okay," he giggled. "Oyasumi, Yuki."
"'N."
"...Yuki?"
"What?"
"Did you buy Pocky?"
"Huh? Pocky? I thought you knew...they don't sell Pocky in America. It's a Japanese food."
Shuichi's eyes widened. "Wha...what?" He twitched. "Are you serious?"
"Afraid so."
"Yuki..." he whined mournfully. "Hold me..." He then commenced a whimpering that told Yuki it was going to be a long night.
A/N: In case you're wondering, Yuki and Shu are okay – their lab tests from the previous incident came back negative. :) They just didn't care enough to remember to go back. LOL. Sorry 'bout the cheesy fluffiness interspersed throughout the chapter. It's so, so difficult to resist sometimes.
Please Review! Or the toast-breathing dragons shalt have you! (That was random...-.-)